-1How to write a bad OC fic- FMA

The stuff written in itallics is what I really mean, the rest of it is pretty obviously a pee-take.

Step 1) Come up with a really irritating character name, some examples? Ok. Try any character with the last name 'Elric', 'Cirle', 'Wolf', 'Dark', 'Black' and so on. These names are worse if paired with names like 'Angel', 'Phoenix', 'Raven' and 'Tsuki' (and lots of other Japanese names like Tsuki that mean things like moon, night rain and snow) There's nothing wrong with these names, only they stick out like a sore thumb in the world of FMA. Why hardly anyone has a Louise Morgan or Cassie Gardner I do not know.

Step 2a) Optional. (Also see step 2b/2c/2d below). Give your character a past more painful than Ed and Al's. Let's have her try out human transmutation, lose an arm, two legs and a little sister. Oh, and she was beaten by her father, that too...that should give her a chance to angst. Sure, tragic pasts happen, but for once just write about a less over the top one eg; Louise Morgan's father died when she was very small but her mother is still alive and Louise is a well adjusted and happy individual. Not some angsty whining permanent victim of the world.

Step 2b) Optional. Relate your OC to canon characters already in existence. Since the Elric's past is trawled extensively you're going to have to really force your little Amaya Elric into the time line with a lot of effort. Why not say that they were separated after a terrible accident? That's very original and allows for buckets of angst. Seriously, don't even think about giving canon characters siblings, it really is criminal. I don't care how good you are at writing, it just isn't right or possible.

Step 2c) Optional. Make your character a homunculus. All the sins are gone, so why not make up some of your own? No one's used Depression as a sin yet, oh, and how about Sadism? Your character can either pair up with Envy or bravely break the barrier between good and evil and pair up with Ed. Pul-leeeeeze don't do this. There are only seven cardinal sins, a couple of regular sins being blasphemy and having an inappropriate relationship with an animal. Not good homunculi. The series uses only the cardinal sins, so stick to those. If you really want a homunculus character then you'll have to write fics in which the original homunculi are dead.

Step 2d) Optional. Why not make your character a chimera? That way she can be a cat, wolf or fox girl, how cool. Yes, cat ears are cute, but they don't belong in FMA. No one would bother making a cat chimera, chimeras are only really made for war and only the best alchemists can make them well. Think about it, sure Law had horns, but aside from that there was no way to tell what the hell he was fused with, it'd be one heck of an alchemist who fashioned a perfect cat girl. It's become almost taboo to make cat girl chimeras now so it's best avoided.

Step 3) Give your character abilities surpassing those of the canon characters. For example a miss Raven Cirle becomes a state alchemist aged ten and can transmute without a circle. Sure, your character can have skills, but try and balance it, okay? Why not have a character named Louise Morgan who makes fairly good automail but can't perform alchemy? Or a Cassie Gardner who is a budding alchemist who still has a lot to learn and no state alchemist certification?

Step 4) Now that your character has an identity, let's make her even more special. Christen her with a super cool alchemist name, here are a few examples; The Blood Rose alchemist, The Pale Snow alchemist, The Dragon Flame alchemist. If you do this, your character is plummeting into the depths of Sue-hood. Just give him or her a nice explanatory name akin to 'The Strong arm' alchemist or Flame alchemist. No Blood Tear Alchemists. Ever.

Step 5) The next step is to infatuate the canon characters with your blossoming Sue. Edward Elric is obviously going to go head over heels for your uber special, uber awesome Mary Sue. He always does. Here's how your story should go;

Raven Cirle meets Edward and they fight a little, then their feeling develops and you can have them do a nice mushy kiss together by the end of the third chapter, oh, but remember they have to blush a lot when they're around each other.

Sound good? Well, possibly hundreds of writers think so. But they're wrong. It doesn't make good reading, it's been done to death so let it rot. Why not, just for once, do a plot where Ed doesn't fall in love with your character? He may be male and she may be female, but that doesn't mean he'd go for her.

Step 6) Your character is soooo awesome, right? Then why not have her save the day, every time! Well, think about it, the plot to FMA is very complex with no real heroes and no real winners, so just keep it that way. The storyline is modelled on complexities we find in our own world, so just stick with that kind of idea. Your OC is not always going to save the day, no one is that special.

Well, offhand I can't think of anything else, but remember these few things that belong in no fic;

1) Japanese terms and words such as '-chan', 'arigato', 'neko' and the prolifically used 'kawaii'. Use these words only if your entire fic is written in Romanised Japanese, which it probably isn't. If you do use them in an English fic then they make no sense, it's just a Japanese word used randomly by people speaking English.

2) Mary Sues. You'll know you've got a Sue if everyone loves her, she's beautiful, talented and magical. Often she'll have and angsty past too.

3) Song lyrics. It's just plain annoying to have to scroll through page after page of rubbish song lyrics. Yeah, they mean something to you, but to your readership they're just getting in the way of your storytelling.

That's it for now, I hope this helps people out in some way. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.