My try at being funny. Ha… ha…Hopefully I'll finish this, but it really depends on whether anyone is interested.

.o1 you got a boy; you got a girl

My mother used to tell me all guys are interested in only one thing: how a girl looks. If she opens her mouth, he closes his eyes. If she needs someone to talk to, he buys her a stuffed animal. If she wants them to be committed, he'd rather commit suicide.

I think that's a rather pessimistic view on relationships. After all, there's like six billion people on the planet, and if you count out all the "mistakes" and twins and whatnots, it should all work out to be at least three billion people or so that were conceived from a happy couple, right? A happy couple who loved each other enough to start a family together with a dog and a house with a white picketed fence. (I personally prefer natural brown fences. White is so overrated.)

Then again, what are the divorce rates nowadays? One in two marriages, last time I checked. Well, I didn't check. Joe checked. And Joe's always right so it must be one in two. Unless I remembered wrong, in which case Joe's correct but I remembered wrong and it's like three in two marriages instead, or something… I mean, two in three. Or something of the sort…

…Anyway, my point is, perhaps the couple is happy for a brief moment. You know, daisies and sunshine and rainbows – the works. (I'd actually rather have a cat than a dog.) And then suddenly, one daisy-less, cloudy morning they decide to throw in the towel and toss court documents in each others faces. In which case, Mum is right and men are pigs. I'm sure the pigs aren't too happy about being compared to men either.

Well, some women can be like men too when it comes to relationships. I mean, take a boy, any cute single-looking boy – like that one (oh… that one…) standing by the window. I mean, he's cute (hot) and all with his… really nice blonde hair… and his eyes actually match the sky's blue…

…Okay, so let's take him as our single boy in this hypothetical relationship, and set him up as the one to be crushed after finding out that his girlfriend ran off after some other guy because that other guy was better looking. (Which is like, not very likely.) Well then, in this scenario, our male would have every right to call said (ex) girlfriend a pig. Logic correct? Except, you don't really hear very often that women are pigs. So it must be that men are the more shallow sex, leaving poor women heartbroken everywhere.

You do hear that a woman is a slut quite often. But then you'd have to remember that to be a slut, a male had to have been involved. Which would make the man part-slut as well. And he's already a pig, so he'd now be like, a slutty pig.

(Sigh.) I should pick a different animal. Pigs get abused in analogies way too often.

"Mimi!"

I turn my gaze from the window and cute blonde boy to Yolei, who looks out of breath as she approaches me. I stand up to greet her, swinging my backpack over my shoulder as I return her grin. "Hey! You're finally finished," I say excitedly as she jogs down the hall. "I almost thought you weren't gonna make it 'cause the mall closes in –"

"Y-YYeah, a-about that…" She stops in front of me, resting her palms on her thighs as she huffs and puffs heavily you'd think she were to blow a hole in the ground. "Ken just got back from the city chess finals and he wants to go – oh he won, by the way, yay!"

I nod hesitantly. "Yay."

"-and so anyway his parents want to take him out for dinner at Reikki and they told him to bring me! Can you believe it? Me!"

I nod hesitantly again. "You…"

"And it's like – I've never met them before and what if they don't like me or think I'm not good enough for their son… and oh gosh, if I'd known I'd be meeting them today I wouldn't have eaten that doughnut at lunch –"

"Yolei…"

"-I mean he's perfect, really. He's Ken Ichijouji. Ichijoujis are essentially perfect and I'm an Inoue and we own a convenience store –"

"I likeconvenience stores…"

"- and he's like a frickin' child prodigy-!"

"Yolei!" I grab her shoulders and shake her a little, making her brief moment of hysteria quickly dissipate. I smile warmly. "It'll be fine. You'll make a great impression on them."

"I would?"

"Well… Not in those clothes… but you would." I glance down at her gym attire and sigh. "When are you supposed to be meeting them?"

She looks away guiltily. "In an hour…"

I raise my eyebrows. "Well then we better get moving!" I shake my head at her and grab onto her wrist. We head toward the doors at the opposite end of the school. "My house's nearby, so you can borrow some of my clothes."

She stumbles a little as I pull her along. "Oh, Mimi, you're the best! I'll pay you back, I promise."

I shake my head as I turn around to glance at her. "Don't worry about it." My eye catches the gaze of the blonde male. "I-I… It's fine."

She shakes her head with a deep frown. "No, I totally blew you off today and I know how much you wanted to go to the mall today–"

I laugh nervously as I glance between her and the male who seems to be quite amused with our banter. "Mall? Silly, it's just a once in a lifetime eighty percent sale on designer shoes – no biggie!" I whip my head around and yank her forward even harder as we turn the corner. "Let's just worry about making you look like the future Mrs. Ichijouji!"

Yolei grumbles something I can't really hear because we're running so fast down the empty school halls. I can hear a strange thundering in my ears as the image of the blonde male's casual smirk lingers in my mind.

Men are pigs.

Right. Just forget about him.

(He's an awfully cute pig though…)