The months leading up to summer passed quickly, too quickly in fact, it seemed. By the time graduation came, the Marauders and Lily couldn't believe they wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts again.
June passed even more quickly than the months prior to graduation, and soon it was July, the day before Anna's birthday in fact. Hogwarts letters had come early that month; it seemed the staff wanted to get information about the new protections that had been added to the castle as soon as possible in the hopes that parents would feel more comfortable about sending their children back to school despite the growing power of Voldemort and his death eaters. To no ones surprise, Anna had been made head girl and quidditch captain.
Lily, James, and Sirius were enjoying a few months of piece before their trainings began in September; Lily was becoming a healer, and James and Sirius, aurors. Remus and Peter on the other hand were spending their days job hunting, but they weren't having much luck. No one was hiring because they didn't know who to trust and didn't want to accidentally hire a death eater. Despite his good marks on the NEWTS, Remus was having an especially difficult time finding a job due to his "furry little problem".
James, Sirius, and Anna were still living in the Potter mansion, and Remus, Lily and Peter had temporarily moved in. The night before Anna's birthday found Remus in a foal mood after a particularly bad interview. The group was lounged in the family room when Remus walked in with a sour face.
"Moony, how was the interview?" James asked, not seeing his friends face. Remus just shook his head and walked over to the couch Anna was seated on. She immediately moved to make room for him, and he collapsed onto the coach with his head in his hand. His friends exchanged glances.
"Uh… Moony?" Sirius said finally, "what happened?" Remus looked up.
"I'm never going to get a job," he muttered.
"Sure you will," Lily said, attempting to cheer him up.
"No, I won't Lily," Remus said, his voice stony and harsh. "No one wants to hire a-a-a—"
"Werewolf?" Anna supplied. Remus nodded. "Well with that kind of attitude, no wonder no one's hired you. 'Oh I'm a werewolf; you don't want to hire me. I can't do anything.'" Remus turned to glare at her as she imitated him and the others raised their eyebrows. "Sorry buddy, I just speak the truth. If you never think you're good enough, you'll never be good enough." Remus smirked.
"Anna, this isn't some low self esteem thing," he said. "It's… different."
"No," Anna replied. "No, I don't think it is. Sounds like a confidence problem to me." She shrugged. "Maybe you should try a little harder."
"I've been searching for a job for hours everyday since school let out!" Remus yelled. Anna shrugged again. "Who the hell is going to hire me?!"
"Dumbledore?" Anna suggested. Remus starred at her for a moment.
"That's actually not a bad idea," James cut in. "He'd hire you Moony. You know he would." Remus turned to James now and starred, and then he chuckled.
"You just don't want to be alone at school next year," he said, turning back to Anna, who laughed somewhat nervously—thankfully no one noticed.
"Sure," she said. "Or I just think you'd be a really good teacher."
"She's right!" Peter piped up, "you always were good at teaching me!" The others nodded.
"You have to be kidding me," Remus said, although his friends could tell he liked the idea.
"C'mon Moony, just talk to Dumbledore tomorrow. Please? So we can stop listening to your whining!" James joked. Remus tried not to grin.
"Fine," he said. "But I think you'll all be disappointed by the outcome of this conversation!"
"Ah-" Lily cut in, "Are you forgetting Anna's advice already, Remus? Confidence." She raised her eyebrows as everyone laughed. She stood up, pulling James with her. "Come on," she said. "It's our night to make dinner." James groaned, but allowed her to lead him by the hand to the kitchen. Remus and Peter left the family room soon after, Remus to shower and change from his job search attire, and Peter to fill out more job applications, leaving Sirius and Anna alone together.
"You've been kind of quiet tonight Black," Anna said getting up from her spot on the couch and sitting next to him by the fire place.
He sighed. "I've got a lot on my mind."
"Like… is Auror Training really right for me?" Anna questioned. He gave her a quizzical glance. She shrugged. "It just kinda seems like you don't really know what you want to do, so you're taking the easy way out and following your best friend." Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"How do you always know everything Miss Potter" He asked. She shrugged.
"It's a gift." He laughed again.
"Well what else would I do?" He asked.
"I don't," Anna responded. "What do you like to do?"
"Well… I like to fly… I'm not good enough to be a professional quidditch player though. I like… um… not a lot. You know I've never liked anything at school. That's the problem!!"
"So you like to fly…" Anna said slowly. "That's it?" Sirius studied her; she was definitely trying to lead him to something.
"Well… I like… music I guess," he said. Anna grinned. "Oh come on Anna! Seriously? A musician! What are my chances in going anywhere with that?"
"Did you miss the whole confidence lecture with Remus?" she asked, exasperatedly. He scoffed. "You're good Sirius," she said. "Real good." He shook his head, turning a slight red. "Just think about it, ok?"
"I kind of have a lot to think about as it is," he muttered.
"What? I thought this whole career thing was what you were thinking about!"
"That's part of it."
"Well what's the rest of it then?"
"It's just that every time I see Lily and James together, I—"
"Sirius not this again!" Anna groaned. "We've been over this!"
"—I wonder if you'll ever give me another chance." They had been through this several times already since that fateful day that Sirius had cheated.
"No Sirius! No! I can't. You hurt me and… I just—why can't you just accept that I'm done?"
"Because I lov—"
"Don't! Please," she begged him. "Sirius if you were anyone else I would hate you for what you did. Since you're you and you were one of my best friends and I loved you, I'm trying to forgive you. I'm trying to be your friend. Please just…" They stared at each other for a moment before she turned to run up the stairs to her room.
Were, was all Sirius could think as he watched her go. I was one of her best friends and she loved me.
Neither Sirius nor Anna came when Lily called everyone for dinner. Anna didn't come out of her room that night and Sirius stared into the fire until well after everyone else had gone to bed. When everyone else had finished eating, Lily brought a plate of food out to Sirius.
"Any idea why Anna won't let anyone into her room and refuses to come out?" She asked him. He shrugged. Lily looked at him sympathetically. "You can't blame her Sirius. You hurt her pretty bad."
"I know." The two sat in silence for a minute, until Lily got up to go check on Remus and Peter with the dishes.
"She'll come around," Lily said to Sirius, gently squeezing his shoulder before she left. "She still loves you."
The next day Anna pretended as though nothing had happened, and Sirius played along; he didn't want to ruin her birthday. That night the group went to a muggle sports bar in London, where they were joined by Alice and Frank.
The night was fun, but it only took a few drinks to get Sirius to forget his desire to not ruin Anna's birthday and start trying again to get a second chance.
"Anna, can I talk to you privately?" he leaned over an asked about half way through dinner. She glared at him. "I can do it here, but I know how you hate every one overhearing conversations like the one I'd like to have."
"Fine. Let's make it quick." She led the way outside of the bar, and as soon as they were through the door, she turned and crossed her arms. "Well?"
"Uh..." Sirius was suddenly wishing he would have just accepted her no and not insisted she talk to him. "Happy Birthday," he said lamely.
"Thanks."
"Listen Anna, I know last night you said that I should just accept your friendship, but I love you—" Anna made to interrupt, but he wouldn't let her. "And I know you love me too, so why fight it? We could both be so much happier if—"
"I'm leaving Sirius," Anna cut it.
"No, please wait! Just—just hear me out."
"No I don't mean leaving, as in going back to the table. I mean leaving… like leaving London."
"Well yeah…" Sirius said slowly. "In September you'll go back to school, but that's only for a year. I could find a place in Hogsmeade so we can still see each other…" Anna was shaking her head.
"I'm not going back to school," she said. He gaped at her. "A couple international teams have been sending me letters… trying to recruit me for this year. I've agreed to play for the Finches." Sirius stared at her in shock. When he didn't say anything, she continued. "It's just with everything going on… I feel like I need to get away for awhile. I mean, I don't even know who I am anymore!" she cried desperately. Anna took a deep breath to calm herself, "But um, with me in the US, I think it might be kind of difficult for us to have any sort of relationship so… I'm sorry. There's just no way." Both of their eyes were shining by this point. Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to speak. "I think I should go," Anna said softly, and she apparated back to the Potter mansion.
Sirius stared at the place she had been standing just moments before and then zombie walked back into the restaurant.
"Where's Anna?" James asked as soon as he spotted Sirius.
"Gone."
"Sirius!" James said in exasperation. "You couldn't have brought that conversation up at a different time?"
"Sorry," he mumbled, staring at his food.
"Well I guess we should go home then," James said, and made to call for the waiter.
"No," Lily said. "I'll go talk to her. You all stay here."
"Anna?" Lily called when she arrived home. No answer. Lily walked up to Anna's room where she saw her throwing things haphazardly into a giant duffel bag. "You going somewhere?" Lily asked, thinking maybe Anna was hoping to stay with Alice for a little while.
"Lily," Anna said, turning around. She grinned nervously. "Um… what are you doing here?"
"Sirius told us you left. I came to talk to you, try to cheer you up."
"Oh," Anna said. "Well thanks, but I'm ok. You can go back to the restaurant." Lily looked between Anna and the duffel.
"Where ya going?" Anna glanced at the duffel too.
"Oh that um… just… the United States," Anna mumbled, hoping Lily would mishear her.
"WHAT?!" Lily asked. "Why would you be going there?
"Um… because the Finches asked me to."
"Oh my God, Anna that's amazing! But why do they need you to go so early?"
"Well it's for this fall Lils…"
"This fall? Anna, what about school?"
"I don't need to finish school to play quidditch Lily."
"But after you retire. What are you going to do then?"
"I don't need school to open a dress shop either," Anna smirked.
Lily sighed. "But Anna, you're head girl and quidditch captain! You're throwing away your dreams." Anna laughed, slightly bitterly.
"No Lily, those are your dreams. And James dreams. I couldn't care less about those things. My dream is to be a professional quidditch player, and I'm going after that."
"But 7th year is so great you don't wanna miss that!"
"LILY! You don't get it! I hate it there! I can't spend another year there!" Anna was starting to cry now. "My best friend was murdered there. The love of my life, broke me heart there. I lost myself there. I don't even know who I am anymore, and I can't go on not knowing! At the very least, hopefully this will help me… find me…"
"But Anna," Lily said gently. "You can wait a year, finish your education. You can't leave your friends. Not yet. Not now."
"What friends?" Anna asked. "You've all graduated. Taylor… I'm not going to play third wheel to Alice and Frank. You think I'll be happier hanging out with Veronica Brooks and the gossip queens for a year? There's nothing for me there Lils." Slowly, Lily nodded.
"I understand," she said, "but what about James? He needs you here. And Sirius, Remus, and Peter. And me." She added as an afterthought. "You could maybe take a year off to just hang out here and then go back. I'm sure Dumbledore would allow it."
"James… has you now," Anna began, "and you have him. And Sirius, Remus, and Peter have each other. You'll all be fine with out me. I think it'll be good for Sirius actually. Remus too; I can't look at him with out thinking of her, and… I think he feels the same way. Peter and I have never been that close. It's just, what happens when Remus goes off to work at Hogwarts, you and James get married like I'm certain you will, and Peter gets some job, meets a girl, and moves out. Sirius and I won't move on as long as we see each other everyday, and then we'll just be stuck. I can't take that."
Lily studied Anna for a long while and finally nodded. "I know this isn't what you were looking for and it doesn't really matter, but I see where you're coming from and you have… you have… my blessing I guess."
"Thanks Lily. You have no idea how much that means to me. You'll probably be the only person supporting me in this." The two girls hugged and wiped their eyes as they pulled away. "Who would have thought after all the times I was angry at you for not giving James a chance we'd ended up good friends?" They both laughed.
"Will you at least wait to say good bye to the guys?" Lily asked. Anna hesitated.
"I don't think I can," She said finally, just as they heard four faint pops outside the Potter's front gate. "Shit," Anna muttered. "I have to go. Now. Tell them… Tell them I'm sorry, and I love them, and… and to keep in touch." Lily nodded.
"Good luck, Anna." Anna took one more look around her room, before heading out her window on her room. She flew far enough to where she could apparate and then disappeared. Lily watched out the window, hoping Anna would change her mind and fly back, but she didn't. Soon after Anna disapperated, the marauders burst into the room. Sirius had eventually caved and told them of Anna's plan and James was determined to stop her.
"Anna!" he yelled, looking frantically around the room for any sign of his sister. His eyes found Lily.
"She's gone."
AN: Ok so I'm not quite sure how I feel about this chapter. I don't like to go back and read things that I've just written, and this particular chapter is very long, so I didn't. Therefor I don't know what it's like to read. As I was writing it, I felt like I was dragging it out a little too much, but there wer certain points I wanted to get across. Anyway, I hope you liked it! Hopefully I'll be able to update again soon. Please review!!
Review topic suggestion: Ok, so obviously there will be at least a little bit of time (I know how long but I'm nottelling you!) in which Anna will be seperated from the others. I'm trying to decide how to write that time period. I'm thinking either through letterswritten between characters, or just jumping around between the different locations. I'll probably do both? Any suggestions (new or one of the things I've said) for what I should do would be appreciated! Thanks!