Disclaimer: As per usual, the good things in life are not mine to have, but belong to someone else... in this case, the wonderful JK Rowling and all associated parties (including Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, Warner Bros. Inc.)
Warnings: Few minor spoilers for Half Blood Prince, but nothing noticeable.
Authors Note: This was written fairly quickly. And I guess it's pretty random. Could be part of a series, but I doubt it… we'll see where the muse leads maybe.
Written several years ago... only just getting round to putting it up here... procrastinate much?
Feedback makes friends.
I don't quite know how it happened. I don't even know when it happened. All I know is that it happened and I have to deal with it.
I can't tell him. It would only serve to break our friendship apart. And I'm grateful for our friendship. It's one of the only things that keeps me going. If I didn't have our friendship, I might just as well ask Severus to try out one of those curses he keeps creating on me.
He's lying across from me now as I write this. I wonder what he would think if he knew I was writing about him? He'd probably laugh and tell me to go bury my nose in another book. He's like that.
It's so quiet I can hear him breathing. He's snoring slightly, which to anyone else would probably be irritating. Yet I find it endearing. I can see that lock of hair falling onto his forehead in the moonlight. It's taking all my willpower to continue writing and not go across and brush it out of his eyes.
It's close. We started planning our next adventure this afternoon. We're sure there's another way down into Hogsmeade. Peter said he saw a trapdoor in Honeydukes' cellar and the other rats said it led to the castle. I told James I wasn't sure. That someone would notice us all creeping into Honeydukes' cellar. But he laughed at me and said I was just worried about getting into trouble and ruining my goody-boy reputation. Sirius actually agreed with me. I couldn't believe it. He normally agrees with James, but I can't read too much into it. Although... he has been sitting close to me in the common room lately. But maybe that's because it's getting colder. Oh - he's waking up ----
"Moony, you're not doing more homework are you?"
"I'm just writing Sirius, go back to sleep."
"Awww, is Moony writing love letters? That girl from Ravenclaw was looking at you again at dinner."
"Shut up Padfoot!"
"All right, all right." Sirius yawned and turned over, quickly falling asleep again.
"That was close." breathed Remus, listening to Sirius' slow, regular breathing. He hid the diary away in his bottom drawer and lay down, staring out of the window. In a few days they would be out, running free under the full moon. Strange that he found himself looking forward to such a dangerous time. He put that thought out of his head and closed his eyes, knowing that sleep would eventually claim him.
"OOOFF!"
"Wake up Moony, or we'll be late for breakfast." Remus opened his eyes and threw the pillow back at Sirius.
"Well I'm awake now." he groused good-naturedly, deciding not to get out of bed quite yet. Sirius was dressed just in a pair of trousers and kneeling down, searching for one of his shoes under his bed. From where Remus was lying, he had quite a nice view of Sirius' -
"OOOFF!"
"Stop staring at him Moony and get up. We've got Potions first thing remember?" Remus threw the pillow back at James and glared at him.
"I wasn't staring!" he said, hoping he didn't actually sound as guilty as he felt. The look on James' face told him he hadn't been successful. He ducked his head as his face warmed, pulling on his socks and shoes instead.
He followed James out of the portrait hole, trying to ignore the looks he was being given.
"I thought you liked that girl from Ravenclaw, Remus?"
"Kiera? We're just friends James. Just friends."
"But you fancy him, don't you?"
"I do not fancy..." he started to reply hotly, breaking off as Sirius stepped through the portrait hole.
"Who don't you fancy Moony?"
"He fancies you Padfoot."
"Get off it Prongs!" Sirius said, punching James playfully on the arm. Remus felt his heart sink a little lower.
Potions was the disaster it always was. Remus had never been very good at making potions. They made their way out of the dungeon and into the relative warmth of the corridor.
"Snivellus." muttered Sirius as they stood waiting for Peter. James turned, a feral grin on his face and reached into his pocket. Remus grabbed hold of his arm.
"Not in the corridor James." James pulled his arm away and watched as Severus Snape slunk past, reading his potions book, quill in hand.
"You got lucky Snivellus!" Sirius called after him. Severus jumped as though he'd been burnt, staring at them before hurrying off.
"You're such a killjoy Moony. He wasn't even looking." Remus shrugged and marched up the corridor, not waiting to see if they followed him.
"So what are we going to do tomorrow night?" Peter asked. The four of them were sitting in the common room. It was late evening and they were the only ones left in there.
"Well, Moony doesn't think it would be a good idea to do Honeydukes..."
"He's right Prongs. I think a werewolf, a stag and a dog might be noticed breaking into their cellar."
"Don't forget about me!" whined Peter.
"Wormtail, they're not going to notice a rat." James said scathingly.
"What about the Forbidden Forest?" Remus suggested.
"Good idea Moony." Sirius said. Remus practically beamed. "We haven't done all the Forest yet. And we want this map to be a complete map." James nodded.
"The Forest it is then. It's not too far from the Willow either, so we'll have lots of time."
"We'll wait in the usual spot then Remus, and come down after Madam Pomfrey's come back up." Remus nodded and sighed.
"I'm glad you lot look forward to full moon." he commented wryly.
"Oh come on Moony, you must admit it's fun, running around at night knowing that no one knows we're there?" Sirius winked at him, and Remus couldn't help but smile.
We're going to go into the Forest again tomorrow night. I like the Forest - you can't see the moon too clearly through the trees.
He defended me again. Though he didn't look happy this morning when James told him I fancied him. Am I that obvious? How can James see so clearly what I've only just realised? I think I must have a sign over my head saying 'Remus loves Sirius'
"Remus loves Sirius." he muttered, tracing the words he'd just written.
"What did you say Moony?" Remus looked up. Sirius was sitting up in bed, staring at him intently. Remus felt his heart skip a beat.
"N... nothing Sirius. Go back to sleep." Sirius stayed exactly where he was. Remus couldn't tear his eyes away.
"Is what Prongs said this morning true, Moony?" he asked softly, his voice carrying across the dormitory. Remus put his quill down and stared at his diary.
"If it was...?" he whispered, not looking up, not daring to meet Sirius' eyes. The bed dipped and he looked up, straight into Sirius' eyes. He could see them shining in the moonlight.
"Moony?"
"Sirius..."
"It's true isn't it?" Remus opened his mouth to deny it, but found he couldn't. He dropped his head and nodded.
"Yes." he said in barely more than a whisper. He flinched as he felt Sirius move closer to him.
"Go to sleep Moony. We've got a busy night tomorrow." Sirius said softly, squeezing Remus' hand briefly before returning to his own bed and drawing the curtains.
Remus sat there in shock. Sirius had held his hand.
'But he didn't say anything when you said Yes' a nagging voice said in the back of his mind. He shook his head, put his diary away and curled up, surrendering himself to a troubled sleep.
He hated full moon. He enjoyed running around the grounds and village with his friends. He just wished it didn't come at such a painful price.
Evening came and he went quietly as Madam Pomfrey led him down to the Whomping Willow. She watched as he made his way down the tunnel before turning and heading back up to the castle.
In the darkness, Sirius nudged James.
"She's gone. It's almost time." They always waiting until just after Remus had transformed before entering the Shrieking Shack. It was safer, as they had found out one full moon. Remus was always disorientated for a few minutes after transforming, and one night while they waited in animal form as he transformed, he had attacked. Sirius still bore the scar across his chest.
James nodded.
"Let's go." Under the cover of James' invisibility cloak, they made their way down into the tunnel, listening closely for any sounds. Presently, they could hear scraping and screaming.
"I hate hearing him transform." muttered Sirius.
"I know what you mean. Sometimes I wish it was as easy for him to transform as it is for us. Then we wouldn't have to wait a month between each map session." James grinned.
"Come on." Sirius ran up the tunnel. By the time he reached the shack, he was a dog. The wolf lifted its head and sniffed before growling. The dog rolled over onto its back and the wolf nudged him. They were ready for their adventure.
We barely managed to avoid the centaurs. I think they knew what we were. Or at least, what I was. I got a few new scars I think before Sirius distracted them. James managed to get me away and I think I managed to explain the hoof print on my side to Madam Pomfrey.
I wonder if this will carry on after we leave Hogwarts? James and Sirius are going to rent a place together and Sirius said I was more than welcome to join them. I don't know how much I'll be able to contribute though. I think it's going to be hard for me to find a job.
Remus limped through the portrait hole to be greeted by the concerned eyes of Sirius.
"How are you Moony?"
"I'll live Sirius." He winced as he sat down in one of the arm chairs in front of the fire. Sirius came and sat at his feet. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Maybe it was a dog thing. Without thinking, Remus reached down and entangled his fingers in Sirius' hair.
"Thanks for rescuing me."
"I'd always rescue you Moony." Sirius replied, leaning back against Remus' legs. "Besides, remember that time you stopped me being gored by that unicorn?" Remus smiled.
"That was interesting afterwards, trying to explain to everyone why you were moving so carefully."
"Mmm..." Sirius said noncommittally. "You always do things carefully don't you Moony?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean about what we talked about last night."
"Oh..."
"I'm not upset Moony."
"Right..."
"I don't mind Moony."
"Of course not..."
"Love you too Moony."
"Oh..."
Sirius turned and knelt up, leaning toward Remus; one hand bracing himself on the arm of the chair, the other cupping Remus' cheek. Then he kissed him.
HE KISSED ME!
Remus put down the diary and smiled. He wasn't one for dwelling on the past, but sometimes it was nice to relieve happier times. Tucking the diary into his pocket, he stood up quietly and looked around.
12 Grimmauld Place was just the same as it had been a week ago. He could make out the rasping breathing of Mrs Black's portrait from behind her curtains.
He'd come to pick up a few things before the Order finally left. He picked up the bag at the foot of the stairs and quietly made his way out.
He may not have Sirius anymore, but he had the memories they made together.
Yeah, I so fail at formatting this... sorry...