Happily Ever After?

I. Lily

Sometimes I wish my life was like the fairytales my mom used to read me. You know how it goes: The princess (likely beautiful, codependant, slightly ditzy, of noble parentage and therefor very rich and living in a castle)goes through a tradgedy (ideally something to do with stepmothers, needles, apples, spells or pirates) and her knight in shining armor comes to rescue her (preferably riding a white horse, bearing gifts or curing the said princess problems with a loving kiss). Then they ride off into the sunset (on said preferred white horse) and they live happily ever after. The end.

There are alot of problems with that pretaining to my life. Firstly, I'm not a princess. I'm not beautiful, I can fend for myself and my parents are muggles. Hardly noble in the wizarding world. I do, however live in a castle, so there's one point to my fairytale ending.

Make that half a point, considering the castle is old and creaky, the suits of armor try to trip you in the halls and the servants are elves.

The second problem is I haven't been through any major tragedies. I don't have an evil stepmother, or any stepmother at all, I am very careful around needles, apples make my face swell as I'm allergic to them, I happen to know a few spells myself, and I think there are laws in Britain outlawing pirates.

The third problem is the big one: no knight in shining armor. Every girl wants a guy to come and sweep her off her feet. The thing is, the only guy that wants to sweep me off my feet is James Potter, and if he touched even so much of me as my foot he would be recieving that foot in the gut. The closest thing he has to a white horse is a broomstick. The only thing he's given me that's even been close to a gift is a note he chucked at my head in sixth year asking me out. If he tried to kiss me the foot that I was planning on planting in his gut would be lowered to the general region of his manhood.

And the happily ever after? Considering the first three things aren't working for me, I'm sure the fourth is hopeless. Unless Potter suddenly desides to don leggings and a ruff, buy a white horse and adopt an attitude suitable to the heir of the thrown, it's hopeless.

I take that back, I don't want to see the leggings.

Like I said, hopeless.

II. James

As lame as it sounds, sometimes I compare my life to the pathetic "fairytales" my mom used to read to me. She said it was a "cultural experience" to read the stories Muggles read... some cultural experience, they all start and end in the same way. The princess (incredibly hott, big boobs, long flowing perfect hair, gorgeous castle) goes through a tradgedy (which usually isn't that tragic) and her knight in shining armor comes to rescue her (also incredibly good looking, muscular, riding some white horse that looks like it would be more suitable for the princess). Then they ride off into the sunset (on the prissy white horse) and they live happily ever after. The end.

I'm so close to that happily ever after, it scares me.

I've got my princess: Lily Evans. She's got the incredibly hott, big boobs and long flowing perfect hair down pat, not to mention amazing legs and perfect eyes. The only flaw in the wonderfulness of it all is the castle bit, because Hogwarts is anything but beautiful. I suppose that with some slight remodeling (meaning new walls, new suits of armour, new floors because these ones seem to be breaking, new stairs, new rugs, chandeliers that don't fall on your head and hotter chicks... okay, maybe alot of remodeling) it wouldn't be so bad.

We've also got the knight in shining armor. Who, you ask? Duh, me. I've got the good looks thing down, no contest. I'm the closest thing to a prince at Hogwarts, I mean come on, I basically own the school with all my manly princeliness. Even some of the teachers bow down to me, and I've got the first to third years at my feet. The muscles are coming along, though the closest thing I have to a horse is my broomstick. Suppose I could turn it into a horse? A manly horse though, not some prissy white one with a rainbow mane and horn. Wait, that would be a unicorn... I wonder if Lily likes unicorns?

All I'm missing here is for the lovely shapely princess to have a tragedy, I go and comfort her, wake her up with a kiss, whatever, and she'll hop on the back of my manly horse and we'll ride off into the sunset with her legs and arms around me...

Happily ever after, here I come.