Jacob Finds Love...Not Bella

(Jacob's point-of-view)

The wedding was mere days away now and I couldn't think of anything to say or do to stop her. My heart felt as if it were some shriveled black thing in my chest. I had no desire to move on, to get over her. Bella was all I wanted. I needed her to make me whole. Why couldn't she see for once that the bloodsucker she called her boyfriend could never love her the way I could, the way I do? I could give her so much. I didn't need to imprint on her to be her slave for life. I would do anything for her. No, it's true, I don't have all the money or resources that Edward has, but I would lie, cheat, steal...hell, I would break all ten commandments for her! All she would have to do is ask.

Since this whole werewolf nightmare reared it's ugly head she was the only person who wasn't "in the know" who understood me. I didn't have to tell her if something was wrong. She just knew. I could make her happy I know I could. The same way that I could hurt her, and I swore never to do that.

Since that day on the beach when we first met I felt this connection to her. A kinship that I've never felt with anyone. Even my brothers in the pack never felt this connected to me and God knows they hear every thought and feeling I have whether I'm willing to share it or not. Bella accepted me readily and willingly. She would have risked life and limb to be with me when I was a danger to everyone around me. That danger is past now and there is no reason she couldn't be with me...no reason she couldn't be my Bella and be happy with me forever. No reason but him. How I hate what he's done to her, but not as much as what he's planning to do.

I finally came back from my agonizing stay in the forest. I'd remained in the wolf form for the longest time I ever had, because it was easier to push away the human emotions when I didn't feel quite human. This morning it dawned on me that I had to go home, because I may never see Isabella Swan again and staying out of sight could possibly make it easier for her to put me out of mind. I couldn't stay away from the pack forever, either. They were my family now and I didn't have any excuse for causing them any pain or trouble. I decided to see Billy first and let him no that his hard headed, heart broken son had returned. He didn't surprised when I walked into the tiny house and plopped down on the couch a little too hard causing the floor to groan under my new found body mass. He smiled a familiar pitying smile and patted my arm. "Want some breakfast?", he asked nonchalantly, as if I were just coming in after a night of teenage antics.

"No, thanks," I simply answered. It was easier to hide my hurt if I didn't have to say much. "I think I'm gonna go shower and then see what the guys are up to."

"Sure, sure. You should probably do that. Since they don't already know everything ," he chuckled.

"Oh you find that funny, do you," I asked with mock anger. "How would you like to have half the village in your head all the time?"

"No, you're right, " he looked down at the newspaper in his hands with a serious face and then he grinned. "Widow Reed wouldn't be very flattered, I guess."

"Jeez, Dad!", I tried to shake the image of the two of them together out of my mind. Billy laughed a laugh I hadn't heard in awhile,while I headed for the bathroom to steam away a week of being in the wilderness. A shower would clear my thoughts a little. I needed to be focused to get through what I had to do today. There was someone I needed to talk to and I wasn't sure how our conversation would go. If I was extremely lucky she would be in my arms at least for a goodbye hug. Smelling like soap instead of dirt and pine trees couldn't hurt if that was the case.

My dad seemed connected to my thoughts now almost as well as the members of the pack. I didn't need to tell him where I was headed when he saw me dressed my best, but I told him anyway. "I need to see her, Dad. Even if it's the last time I do." I know," was all he replied and I headed out the door.

All the way to Forks I hoped and prayed she would be home and alone so I didn't have to go anywhere near the Cullen's stinking vampire lair. It disgusted me to think of his smell all over her and enraged me to wonder how it got there. I was fuming at the thought of his hand touching hers when I should be the one with her when I saw her tired old truck parked in front of a house I didn't know. I wasn't even concerned about whose house it was. At least it wasn't Cullen's and it didn't look like a place he would frequent. I parked behind her truck and noticed as I got out that there were several cars besides ours parked on either side of the street and a few in the driveway. It looked as if a party was going on inside. There were balloons tied to the front gate and the door was decorated with streamers and paper bells. I wasn't ashamed to crash someone's party if it meant a moment spent with Bella. Our time together was swiftly approaching an end and I figured I needed to squeeze in as many as possible.

The name on the mailbox was Webber and I thought I remembered Bella mentioning a friend at school with that name. We never talked about anyone else much when we were together. The world seemed to revolve around us alone. Or at least that's what it was like for me. I'm sure her mind was on "someone else" besides me half of our time together, but I got to be the one to share her company.

I knocked on the door and a smiling woman answered holding a tray of finger foods. "Thanks," I said as I grabbed two little cookies and popped them in my mouth. Her jaw fell and she stepped backward as I slipped inside the doorway. I could smell that sweet fragrance that meant Bella was close. Down a short hallway in another room I found her surrounded by a small throng of other girls who were giggling as she opened pastel colored gifts. Was this her party? It wasn't her birthday. She was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. They betrayed her more than she knew. I stepped closer and when she glanced up and caught sight of me she smiled a genuine smile. The room full of giggling girls quieted and all eyes turned to me. Some people whispered things I could hear, but knew Bella wouldn't be happy about so I decided against telling her that her friends thought she should at least take me "out for a test drive before settling down with Edward." Ha! I'd have to remember to send him that mental image the next time he was around. I smiled,agreeing silently with whoever whispered their thoughts of Bella and I together.

I could tell she wanted to come talk with me, but she didn't want to be rude to her entourage of well wishers. So I mouthed the words, "I'll wait," and she nodded and picked up another gift. I leaned against the wall furthest from the group of party goers.and watched silently as Bella said polite "thank you's" and opened gift after gift as they were handed to her. She looked beautiful in the midst of all the others. I pictured her as a queen or goddess perched on a pedestal being worshiped by lesser women. I smiled at the thought. The minutes were dragging by. I didn't know how long I had been waiting to get her to myself, probably not long, but I was getting anxious. I walked to a window a few feet from where I was and looked out into a perfectly manicured lawn. A hand on my arm brought me quickly back from further thoughts and without thinking I turned in one swift motion and swung Bella into my arms...only it wasn't Bell. I panicked looking into the pretty face of the girl in my arms and nearly dropped her. She giggled when I caught her instead of screaming as most girls would have, being grabbed by some stranger.

"Oh, my god. I'm so sorry! I thought you were..,"

"Bella, I know," she cut my words short.

"I'm so sorry, really, I never meant to.."

"It's okay, honestly. Now I can say I've been swept of my feet by a tall dark stranger and it will be the truth." She laughed quietly and it sounded almost musical. I was speachless. When anyone else would have freaked out this girl simply shrugged and laughed it off. I liked her instantly. There was something about her that reminded me of Bella when we first met, but that wasn't all. She was pretty and her eyes seemed kind. She looked like the kind of person whom everyone liked because she was genuinely likable.

"I didn't realize Bella had invited you or we would have waited for you before we opened the gifts. I guess we just got carried away. Did you have something to give her? I should take it to her before she finishes...or did you want to give it to her yourself?"

"Um,,,I didn't know about the party. I'm kind of crashing." I racked my brain trying to think of what I should say so as not to offend this person who was being so nice to me. "I actually was on my way over to Bella's and I saw her truck outside...I'm sorry.I shouldn't have barged in...," I was stumbling over my words. "Wait, what's this all about anyway?"

The girl looked bewildered for a moment and then understanding seemed to rush over her. "You're Jacob aren't you? I'm sorry. I was being rude before. I never introduced myself properly. I'm Angela Webber." She stuck out her hand and I looked at it still confused.

She laughed that little laugh again and reached out to take my hand. I watched as she mockingly put my big hand in her tiny one and shook it slowly up and down. "Hi, Angela it's nice to meet you. I'm Jacob Black," she said slowly and sarcastically. I couldn't help but laugh myself.

"Sorry," I said again. " It is nice to meet you, Angela. I'm still not sure what the party's all about, though. Could you clue me in?" Angela looked troubled and began to answer then lowered her gaze to the floor.

"Well, you're not very observant are you? We're giving her a wedding shower. The wedding is right around the corner you know and..." Her words faded out and realization struck me full force. This wasn't a birthday party or any other insignificant little shindig. This was a celebration of the moment I had been dreading for so long now. This was absolute proof of why I had exiled myself to the woods. I turned around at the thought and looked toward Bella, still sitting in the midst of

her friends opening gifts that I should have looked more closely at before. In a small pile at her feet lay hand towels and mixing bowls, crystal stemware and other various kitchen and household items. I laughed once, loud and arrogantly. She wouldn't be needing those for long would she? Soon her diet would be a warm liquid one that required no tools other than her beautiful mouth.

I was wrong. I couldn't deal with this now. I was too angry with her, with him, with myself. Why was she doing this? Didn't he love her enough to leave her alone? What could I have done differently before to make her love me the way that I love her? Too many questions to which I may never have an answer. The room was suffocating me. I needed fresh air. I needed to run, to feel the muscles of the wolf pull me along through the trees and away from Bella.

I moved as quickly as I could out of the room before Bella saw me leave and could try to stop me. I didn't move fast enough, because before I could open my car door a hand touched my back. "Don't Bella!," I nearly screamed at her.

"Wrong girl again," Angela said. Her voice was calm and I could hear the pity in it.

"I'm sorry, again, Angela, but I have to go. Tell Bella maybe I'll call her later...but not to count on it," I said under my breath. I turned to look at Angela, but she wasn't behind me. I figured she must have run back to the house to tell Bella that I was upset and leaving. I got in the car and nearly jumped through the window. Angela hadn't turned back to the house. She was sitting in the passenger side of my car looking at me intently. I was gripping the steering wheel so hard with shock that I felt it crack. I smiled a smug smile to myself and leaned my head back against the seat closing my eyes.

"Don't leave upset, okay?" Angela touched my forearm gingerly the way Bella used to when things were different between us. I didn't pull away. "I think I know how things are between the two of you even though Bella doesn't say much about anything that goes on with her outside of school." It was like she could read my mind. "I'm sorry that I assumed she told you about all of this. It was stupid of me. I...I don't know what I was thinking." Angela's hand was still rested on my arm. I opened my eyes and turned my gaze toward her. She didn't look like she was feeling sorry for me and that was nice. I didn't want anyone's pity. "I should go, Angela," was all I could manage to say. She never even blinked.

"If I begged, would you stay? Just long enough to show her that you are her friend and that you care? Maybe just to wish her well and then you can go? I'll stay with you if it helps. She'll like that you and I are becoming friends." Her smile was beginning to remind me of an angel and how could I say no to a well-meaning, kind hearted angel? I didn't know what made me move, but in the next minute I was back in the house watching Bella unwrap the last of her wedding gifts. Angela was beside me, occasionally glancing toward me to see if I was ready to bolt. I dug my hands deep into my pockets so she wouldn't see them balled into fists at my side.

"Would you rather wait a little while longer to talk to her or would it be better for you to just get it over with?," Angela inquired in a whisper. Before I could answer her gaze met mine and she said, "Okay," and then walked to the other side of the room where Bella was sitting. She bent to Bella ear and whispered something even I couldn't make out. Bella seemed to say "Thank you" and she stood and began walking toward me. From the corner of my eye I could see Angela speaking quickly to the woman who had answered the door and gesturing toward Bella. Then before I found myself alone with Bella and my harsh thoughts, Angela was at Bella's side, both of them closing in on me. Bella smiled, but Angela's seemed more sincere.

"Bella, Jacob and I have now been properly introduced and now I can see why you spent so much time with him," Angela said before either of us could say anything to the other.

Bella seemed taken aback that her friends could have become so familiar in such a short amount of time. "Wow, that's great, Angela. I'm glad you two got a chance to talk." Bella's words held no enthusiasm. "Jacob, I'm so glad to see you. We were worried. When did you get back from...your trip?" She anxiously asked glancing in Angela's direction and looked back to me, her brow was furrowed as if she were turning some puzzle over in her mind. "What are you doing here?," she questioned. "Did Angela invite you?"

Angela snickered.

"No one invited me," I answered sheepishly. "I just happened to be on my way to see you and I spotted your truck parked out front. Sorry, I crashed your "wedded bliss" party," I didn't try to hide the venom in my voice.

"Don't worry about it, I'm just glad you're okay," Bella said without seeming to notice my snotty remark. She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me the way a little sister would her big brother. "Will you stay a little longer? I think we're almost finished here, aren't we, Angela?

"Not if I know my mother," Angela remarked. "She loves throwing parties and each one seems to get longer than the next. You can sneak out if you want and I'll make your excuses for you." Angela threw a smile in my direction and winked. Her eyes sparkled even in the dim light of the room. I was really beginning to think I could be friends with this girl. If not for the whole "keep the secret of the werewolf pack" thing. She and I would never have reason to be close anyway. I brushed the thought from my mind.

I answered before Bella could. I still needed some time to gather my thoughts before the two of us were alone in a deep conversation about her future and mine. "Actually, Bells, do you mind if I skip out of this girly get together and meet you at your house later? That is, if we'll get to be alone for a few minutes. I'd really like to talk to you in private, if you know what I'm getting at." I didn't need to hint. She knew exactly what I meant. I didn't want the pleasure of the blood sucker's company while trying to talk her out of eternal damnation.

Bella agreed that would be best and promised an Edward free evening. I somehow doubted that he would be far away and I made a mental note to remember what the girls in the room had thought out loud. That was something I looked forward to and I smiled an evil smile to myself. Angela giggled as though she shared Cullen's gift and read my ill thoughts toward him. I laughed back at her and Bella frowned at us both, left out of an inside joke she thought we shared.