Voldy: So, Quirrel, I've been thinking-

Quirrell: Oh god, here we go again.

Voldy: ANWAY, as I was saying, I've been thinking-

Quirrell: Don't hurt yourself!

Voldy: Feeling very sarcastic today, aren't we?

Quirrell: Eh.

Voldy: Now, I will speak, and you will worship every word I say. So shut up and worship.

Quirrell: Fine. What were you thinking?

Voldy: I was thinking that I kinda miss that Ramon spider dude.

Quirrell: Ok, let me get this straight: First you hate him, then you love him, then you FIRE him. What kind of relationship is that?

Voldy: The kind I like. Now listen. I thought maybe we should see if he is still in the area. Ya know, try to get him back on our side.

Quirrell: I don't know…

(Ominous music plays, thunder claps, while a door creaks open to reveal…)

Ramon El Spider: (With small, squeaky, voice, and a Cuban accent) And so we meet again, Voldemort.

Silence: (is long)

Voldy: …Well, that was convenient.

Ramon: I have heard you are in need of my…services again.

Quirrell: No, I think he is just bored, and since All My Witches was canceled-

Voldy: I never even found out is Carlito ends up with Jessica or Veronica! How could they do this to me??

Quirrell: Oh shut it with the whining! We have more important things to do!

Voldy: (sniffling) I'm okay, I'm okay. So Ramon. What have you been up to since I fired you?

Ramon: I took a trip through Alaska to visit some family, but decided to come back to Hogwarts. I've been scaring some little boy. Neville Longbutt or something, I don't know. But the thing is, after awhile Longbutt has decided he is not scared of me anymore. Here's the deal: You help me scare Longbutt, I help you with whatever. You with me?

Voldy: Boy, are we ever! We are masters at scaring Longbottom! Quirrell, do you know where the supplies are?

Quirrell: Got 'em right here: One jar of mayonnaise, a pickle, ten feet of brown string, and a picture of his grandmother in a bikini.

Voldy: Let's get going.

Ramon: Oh this is gonna be good.

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