I can't apologize enough to my fans. You go through periods of life where the things you want just aren't possible, and what I wanted was to finish this for y'all. Hopefully I can stay on track now. For anyone that has been waiting years for this, I am truly sorry, and thank you for still reading. Know that I HAVE been thinking of you guys. I really have the best fans ever.

The song for this chapter is for Sesshoumaru; I never knew Pink could sing like this, and the dark, angsty lyrics come through with her scratchy, pop/rock-goddess voice. Listen, if you haven't heard it yet.

"We come to blows,
And every night
The passion's there,
So it's got to be right…
Right?

No I don't believe you,
When you say 'don't come around here no more'.
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No I don't believe you,
When you say you don't need me anymore.
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all." -I Don't Believe You, Pink

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XXI

"She's dead!"

The boy's high, panicked voice reverberated in his mind as he tried to accept this statement.

No, it was not feasible for Kagome to perish, because he had not yet told her how he felt, that he was sorry, that he still loved her, that he still dreamed of her smile on the day he had taken her in that rainstorm in the Feudal Era, that he wanted…

Since it was impossible that he should allow Kagome to die right under his nose, Sesshoumaru assessed the situation as quickly as possible.

First, the boy was attempting to help Kagome. Good, now he wouldn't be forced to melt a child.

Second, Kagome didn't have a heartbeat. This was not acceptable. Moving on.

Third, a large group of people were on their way: nurses, doctors, family, friends… The kid was obviously trying to get Kagome out of here, and that wouldn't happen unless he interfered, although this was not the reunion he imagined. He would ignore the boy's manhandling of Kagome until he could properly address him.

Lastly, as it would look odd – unless he were cosplaying – to be wearing Tenseiga in modern Tokyo, he did not have the life-giving sword with him.

Scooping her up, he gracefully swept out the door, a stunned Tetsu in tow. The group was just around the corner. Not a moment too soon, Sesshoumaru ducked into a public men's room. There were two men using the facilities, and as they looked over this new stranger in Doctor's garbs – with an unconscious woman who also seemed to be a Doctor in his arms – they gave the demon salacious looks. Sesshoumaru wanted to rip their throats out, but settled for a dangerous scowl. The men – whether through some instinctive alarm or just the sheer size and mass of the man that was glaring daggers at them – left hurriedly.

Sesshoumaru quickly placed his former lover on the floor. He noticed how her hair was up – she never used to wear it that way – and that she was wearing glasses – she hadn't needed them when she was younger. There was a tug deep within him; he felt like his own life force was leaving him as he gazed at her raven-colored tresses and now-pale skin. He took off the coat and threw it at the boy who was still just standing there, still crying.

With a growl, he spoke to the adolescent, whom he knew was not Kagome's brother, but had her scent on him. "Take this back to the Doctors Lounge."

Usually Tetsu wouldn't follow some strange man's orders, but he understood that somehow, this man knew their predicament and was helping. The middle-schooler grabbed the glasses off of Kagome's face, knowing they would have to be returned as well. The man snarled like a beast at him, and he backed into the door. For whatever reason, he felt he had to explain. "Th-they're not hers. They're… the doctor's."

Sesshoumaru, satisfied, turned to the woman on the floor and Tetsu ran out to return the borrowed items. He burst through the door, hoping to get back before the strange man walked off with Kagome. Unfortunately, there were two doctors in there. Fortunately, neither was the one who owned the coat and glasses. But walking into a Doctor's Lounge with these items weren't something with which you could then walk out. He dropped the items and bolted back out.

"Hey!" he heard as he ran down the hall towards the men's room.

He looked behind him just before going in; it wouldn't do for the two doctors to find where he'd gone just to see him holed up in a restroom with another man and a dead woman.

Inside, Sesshoumaru was using his youki to search for a flicker of Kagome's power. Tetsu couldn't stand the silence. "I-I didn't know she was going to die! I would have never asked her to do this! Can you help her? This is all my fault!"

The boy was raving, and his tone hurt Sesshoumaru's sensitive ears. He scowled at the boy, who was currently pacing in the small space. "Be still – your legs and mouth."

Tetsu did as the man said, but still trembled. The adrenaline surged in his veins, and the tears poured still. Wait… who was this guy? Overly concerned for his deceased friend and her soon-to-be-discovered powers, he became bold. "What are you doing with her? Who the hell are you?" He was yelling again.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at the boy's tone but answered anyways. "I am a friend of Kagome's."

"She never mentioned anyone like you!"

The sentence hurt much more than intended, and he flinched. "That does not make it untrue." He wasn't sure he liked the pitch the boy was taking with him, but it seemed he cared about Kagome. And yet… "Why are you here? You must tell me everything."

"I'm not telling you anything until you tell me who you really are," the teen seethed.

Centuries of boring existence honed his patience, and boys were certainly easier to handle than girls, so Sesshoumaru was almost certain he wasn't going to take the boy's head. In the mean time, there was no time for either of them to tell their stories. They still had to get out of here, and they still had one very dead – his heart stopped for a moment – miko. For a second his youki, enraged with the thought of never reconciling its' soul mate, tried to escape. Sesshoumaru fought back with a growl; it wasn't easy, for he still felt as if his soul was slowly depleting, and this made it hard to control the beast within. He stifled it, turning to pin the young man with a glaring look. "Let us get her out of here first."

Tetsu, through some sort of self-preservation, agreed. "Let's bring her home." He was surprised when the tall, older man rose and seemed determined – like he knew where 'home' was. Perhaps he was an old friend of Kagome's. But then wouldn't she have said something about him? If she had, he certainly would remember someone like this. Someone with… tattoos on his face? And… golden eyes? What was going on? Who was this person? With that white – or was it silver? – hair, he could be old enough to be Kagome's… grandfather.

Sesshoumaru lifted Kagome's limp body, ignoring the fact that it had been so long since he had held her. The question was, should he use his speed to get out? No one would be able to tell what they saw… but what about the cameras? He knew they were recording, and any idiot would be able to pause the tape and perhaps see that it was him. There was also the matter of the human boy, and he couldn't just leave him, could he?

…

Well, it was an entertaining thought, but Kagome wouldn't appreciate it. No, he'd have to do it the old fashioned, episode-of-a-tv-show way. Motioning to the door, he walked through as Tetsu held it open. To his luck, Sesshoumaru saw an empty transportation bed a few yards away. He quickly placed Kagome on it, and as much as he wanted to look at her, covered her with a sheet. Without looking to see if the boy was following, he started to roll towards the exit. It seemed like the bigger commotion was now inside the room he had take Kagome from – he could hear the joy over the now-living boy, and the astonishment from the medical staff. Had his miko done that? When had she acquired such powers? He was aware that her spiritual pressure had increased and changed its' tenor, but he had assumed that she had simply gotten stronger. Apparently, his miko had been very busy.

Once he had gotten to an area where it was safe to walk out with her, Sesshoumaru calculated where a blind spot would be and picked her up, cradling her. It was as if she were merely sleeping in his arms. As if they were back in Feudal Japan, and after a long day, he were carrying her back to camp. As if she were… still alive. With a tearing pain, his gut wrenched. But he would not allow this strange boy to see him in pain, so he kept his chin up and walked silently until they exited the hospital.

Tetsu, on the other hand, was not as stoic. Sniffling, he mumbled the entire way, unknowingly filling the Taiyoukai in on their shenanigans.

*sniff* "I didn't know this would happen. I thought…" *sniff sniff* "that she would collapse or something, but not…" Here, he half-squealed, but held the rest in. He didn't want to look weak in front of a strange man. "She didn't know either. I mean, she's healed lots of times, but nothing as bad as Hiro was. It's like she healed him with herself. Like, her life went into him. I didn't feel like that when she healed me, I just felt like myself…" *sniff* "I shouldn't have asked her. It was selfish. Meg-chan would be so mad if she knew… she told me not" *sniff* "to ask, but I didn't listen." *sniff sniff* "But how could I just sit there and not do anything? I mean, I knew someone who could heal Hiro – to completely take away his suffering – and I was supposed to just do nothing? That would make me a coward."

Sesshoumaru cringed at this. He saw a parallel in his own life. He had once been a coward – the only time, mind you – and it had cost him centuries of pain. And possibly the only woman he had ever loved. Had he done something, anything, like this young man had, perhaps they would be happy, living in the Feudal Era. Perhaps his brother would also still be alive.

With one last sniffle, the teenager looked up at Sesshoumaru. They had left the building and were on their way to a car that was conspicuous, to say the least. It was safely parked away from other cars, and the sun gleamed off the glossy paint. For a moment, the young man had forgotten the situation. "Is that… your car we're heading towards?" His jaw was slack as he neared the brilliant violet automobile.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself a smirk. He enjoyed humans' reaction to his car almost as much as he enjoyed driving it. But he barely acknowledged the boy. "Hn." When they got closer, he shifted to get his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the doors with the push of a button.

He watched the man begin to move Kagome into the passenger seat; he couldn't move, starstruck by the car. Who was this man? A car fan, Tetsu knew that this car cost many hundreds of thousands of yen, let alone the fact that it wasn't Japanese. Foreign cars were expensive to get, and this was also a luxury sports car. And, if he knew his cars – and he did – this particular car did not come in this color. In fact, he didn't think any car came in this color, which meant that either this man had a brand-new car stripped and repainted, or he knew someone very high up at Audi and had it painted right there. Either way, if this was his car, he'd like to see the stranger's house.

The car door clicked closed, and Tetsu left his fantasy. He noticed the man was now holding his own seat forward and looking at him expectantly. Tetsu balked. "Uh, what?"

Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow impatiently as if questioning the boy's intelligence, but also relaying that they were still in a hurry.

"First of all, um, that car is too expensive for me to touch. And second of all, um, no…? I happen to know there is not much space back there…"

The man scowled as he moved very quickly to the front, where he proceeded to show the boy his trunk space. It was either the tiny cargo area or the trunk. Or he could always just leave…

"Dude, I'm so not riding in the trunk. If you rear-end someone, I'm toast. No thanks."

Sesshoumaru shrugged elegantly and closed the hood, and then proceeded to get in the driver's seat.

"Hey, hey, hey! Hold on!" Tetsu got over his mental block once he realized this man would leave with Kagome without a second thought. "Fine. I'll get in the back. But I won't like it!" With an 'oomph', a few grunts, and a couple of moves a contortionist would be proud of, the teen squeezed himself behind the seats, the top half of his body draped over the luxurious light grey leather of the passenger seat. Obviously, the man had put the seat back in order to lay Kagome down. This, however, was not his preferred riding option. If ever there was a time he thought he would ride in an R8, he figured he'd at least be in the passenger seat, if not the driver's. But a quick glance at the passenger in said seat reminded him that it didn't matter if he was riding on the top of the car as long as they did something about Kagome.

Sesshoumaru slid into his seat as soon as it was apparent the boy wouldn't be crushed. He quickly slipped the key into the ignition and the car roared to life. He allowed himself another smirk when Kagome's young friend jumped as the engine – which he was practically sitting on – started. And then Sesshoumaru began what many years later, Tetsu would describe as the "fastest goddamned way to a horribly painful and messy death," although Sesshoumaru didn't think his driving was much different from usual; only a little more urgent.

There's something to say about Tokyo traffic. Even an extremely dangerous Taiyoukai with a purpose can be slowed by it. So when Sesshoumaru parked in front of the Shrine's monumental steps, he had a thunderous scowl on his face. Only those centuries of boring existence kept him from massacring the population of the Japanese Capital and using the cars as stepping stones to the Higurashi Shrine. Quickly, he retrieved his love from the other side, and he was surprised to see the boy already dashing up the stairs. Kagome looked so fragile, so pale. From his experience between 1950 and 1985 as a surgeon, he doubted he could do anything. But he had to try. With a glance at the boy's back, he dashed up the stairs.

In retrospect, it was humorous that there should be a rather large white dog guarding the Shrine. It was no Great Dog, but nevertheless, an obvious sign. Perhaps he should have intervened earlier, before this fiasco. Then again, she wouldn't be Kagome if she wasn't in some kind of selfless, self-induced, near-death experience. Or in this case, actual death experience. The dog, he had heard from halfway up the steps, had growled at their approach. But he knew the boy and quieted, although he was still weary, seeing as the dog was stiff, its ears and tail erect as he approached. But it seemed as if even the strongest may fall when their soft spot is hit; seeing his master, the dog began to whine and all but forgot the demon's presence. He nosed her hand, but it was motionless and cool to the touch. Hijiri locked eyes with the stranger, and Sesshoumaru could see the simmering anger behind them. The dog growled low and long, his teeth bared menacingly. Tetsu backed away, but Sesshoumaru only bared his own fangs and growled back. Hijiri backed off, but a rumbling could still be heard coming from the large dog.

Tetsu had taken Kagome's purse, and had been busy finding the keys to the front door and opened it. They all rushed inside, collecting around the low dining table where Sesshoumaru had placed her body. Hijiri whined beside his master while tears streamed down Tetsu's face. Sesshoumaru, grave in his silence, looked her over, but he could find no obvious ailments. She seemed perfectly healthy, and yet…

He put his face against her chest and listened for a heartbeat, but there was none. No movement of the blood. Just silence, sobbing, and whining. A black block of icy despair froze around Sesshoumaru as he listened to… nothing. She was, in fact, dead. Even her vanilla scent was disappearing. She didn't smell or look like Kagome. Just an empty shell. Not even a fraction of the lovely, vibrant, maddening, hot-tempered, passionate, affectionate person she was. Flashes of memory – her face, her touch, her scent – raced through his mind, and melted the icy embrace. No, he wasn't going to give up that easily. He began to perform CPR, compressing her chest. He listened, but there was only the sluggish slowing of her blood. He pushed on her heart again, forcing the blood to circulate. Why hadn't he done this earlier? Instead of questioning everything and trying to calculate, he should have moved her life force. After a few more moments, he stopped to listen. Again, the only sound was the decelerating blood.

It was going to kill him – especially if nothing came of this – but he knew he had to try breathing into her. Steeling himself, Sesshoumaru bent to her and slowly, tenderly, put his lips on hers. Tetsu, confused, began to object. But Sesshoumaru's head snapped up and his eyes burned crimson. His beast, released through anguish and rage, snarled and bared his elongated fangs, startling the boy and dog, and revealing himself as something other than human. Hijiri, sensing the danger, backed off, his tail tucked and ears flat against his skull. But something was off…

With his inner youkai unleashed, it searched for Kagome's bright, beautiful aura. It snaked its tendrils through her soul, which somehow was still anchored to her body. But as soon as the two opposing forces touched, there was a spark. Sesshoumaru – growling at the boy and dog – was forced down, making him fall on top of the lifeless miko. He shuddered in pain and writhed as Tetsu watched in horror. Hijiri whimpered, wanting to run, but not capable of leaving his master with the beast. The young boy, conflicted about whether he should help or not, reached a tentative hand out, but the dog gave a sharp bark and he drew it back.

"Nnng!" Sesshoumaru grunted uncharacteristically as he had a spasm, his back arching inwards. He ground his teeth, lest he make more noises. As if there were a tap in his chest, leaking his blood out slowly, Sesshoumaru could feel his life draining in a steady drip. Even in pain, the Taiyoukai thought of his pride. And in that moment, he imagined Kagome smirking at him, telling him that "your pride is your downfall, Sesshoumaru." He cherished that image, and his youkai calmed slightly. And suddenly, he was no longer in so much pain. Now, however, he could feel that he was incredibly tired… he felt as if he had been battling Naraku for three days straight. Or battling Kagome for one.

His mouth tilted slightly upwards, and the pain lessened further. "Oh, so I'm worse than Naraku, eh?" his imaginary Kagome said to him, hands on her hips and a faux-scowl on her face.

"You do rival his tenacity," Sesshoumaru said aloud, his eyes closed, enjoying this made-up moment with his beloved.

"Ugh… Whose?" said a voice under him. Sesshoumaru froze, and then jumped up with amazing speed, despite how tired he felt. And yet, all he could do is stare, mouth slightly agape, at the sight of Kagome, her big, beautiful azure eyes staring back into his. "Sesshoumaru?" she said, her voice barely a whisper. She studied him, and briefly, she wondered if he were in shock. Why was he so… Oh! She hadn't seen him in a very, very, long time. And he hadn't seen her… perhaps he… maybe she had changed? Was it possible that she was no longer attractive to him?

Sesshoumaru's mind was working sluggishly, probably an effect of how lethargic he felt. Kagome – unless he had either died while he was in pain or going crazy – was staring up at him after being dead for nearly half an hour. He hadn't even actually administered CPR. He had barely had the time to put his lips against hers before that damned boy – who was now staring at the two of them – had tried to interfere and his youki…

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

Hn. He was starting to sound like Kagome within his head. Not good.

It was clear to him now. Well, parts of it, anyways. But first…

He bent to pick her up, but before he had a chance, a huge ball of white fur – not his mokomoko, which he had abandoned long ago – leapt across his path.

Kagome giggled, to his annoyance. "Oh, Hijiri! I'm glad to see you, too."

Her smile, however, was welcoming. She had smiled at him too, but it had quickly turned into a frown, and then she almost looked like she was going to cry. He guessed she was in pain, but before he could bring her to her bed, the canine had interrupted.

"K…"

He turned his head to see the boy crying silently, and Sesshoumaru felt the urge to roll his eyes, although he refrained.

Kagome's head snapped towards the sound when she heard his voice; now the memories came back of what had happened.

"K… Kagome?"

She held out her arms, inviting him in for a hug. He hesitated, obviously afraid. But she beckoned him, and he practically fell into her arms. Sesshoumaru stepped forward to remove the boy, but Kagome glanced at him with one of her trademark glares.

Well, fine. He'd allow it. But he wouldn't be happy about it. Crossing his arms and countering with an impressive scowl, Sesshoumaru stood his ground. He watched as the boy bawled, leaving his spicy scent all over Kagome's sweet smell. The youkai ground his teeth, debating just how upset she would be if he beheaded the youth. The verdict was 'very', and so again, he waited – very patiently, if he said so himself.

"Ssh, you don't need to cry, Tetsu," Kagome cooed after making sure Sesshoumaru wasn't going to interrupt. What did he care anyways? After everything that happened…

"Kagome, you were dead!"

"Was I?" Kagome asked, genuinely puzzled. "All I remember was healing Hiro, and feeling so sleepy." As if to accentuate her point, she yawned.

"No, Kagome. You didn't fall asleep. You died. Like, no heartbeat. No pulse. I started to drag you out…" The memory brought on a new torrent of tears, and Kagome tried to console him.

Deciding that this wasn't the time or place, Kagome didn't even look at Sesshoumaru. She didn't need Tetsu to hear anything they said to each other. He didn't know who – or what – Sesshoumaru was. When the boy went home, she would speak with him, although she wasn't sure if he would even stick around. And what would she say to him?

Suddenly conscious of her appearance, Kagome tried to smooth her hair and face. She checked her clothes; funny, she didn't even remember what she had worn that morning. But her yellow blouse and dark brown pencil skirt were intact, and not even that wrinkled. After giving herself the once-over, she glanced up to find Sesshoumaru's golden gaze on her. Blushing, she averted her eyes, but she could feel him staring at her now. He didn't look happy. He looked… like Sesshoumaru. Oh, gods, Sesshoumaru was standing in front of her. There was so much she needed to get off her chest. She felt like she was back in Tanaka-san's office, unable to really say what was on her mind but needing to tell someone. There was a huge weight building on her shoulders, trying to tip her over.

Before she could think any more dark thoughts, Tetsu pulled back, sniffling. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just… so glad. You have no idea."

Kagome attempted to smile and ruffled his hair like she used to do to Souta. "It's okay, Tetsu. I'm just glad I could…" Her eyes widened and she grabbed the boy. "Did I help? Is Hiro okay?"

Tetsu grinned. "He's perfect." Then his expression became murderous. "Kagome, I would've never forgiven myself. I didn't mean for you to trade your life for his. If you had stayed…" He looked away, not able to finish.

The miko patted his head. "Tetsu, don't be ridiculous. I didn't trade my life. I simply… filled him with my aura. That's kinda what happens every time I heal someone. Even you." She smiled and tapped him on the nose, and he swatted her away playfully. "Unfortunately, it seems like the closer someone is to death, the more I have to give, therefore, since Hiro pretty much died…"

Tetsu squirmed. "Anyways, I'm so glad you're back. By the way, how did you come back? I mean, you were like, totally dead…"

Kagome laughed at how comfortable he had become with the situation, but Kagome wondered at the question. Her eyes slid towards Sesshoumaru, wondering if he had used Tenseiga. But she wouldn't be able to ask him until later. When her eyes came back to Tetsu's, he seemed angry.

"Was it because of this… thing?"

Kagome became indignant. "Tetsu! Do not speak of my friend" – Sesshoumaru winced at the term – "that way!"

"Kagome, he growled at me. Like, growled. He even made Hijiri back down. What is he? A spirit? A ghost? He's got weird markings and long white hair. Only Yakuza have long white hair and tattoos, Kagome!"

Angry as she was, Kagome almost laughed at his last statement. But she couldn't let him know the truth. Sesshoumaru had been safe from humans all this time. If they found out…

"You mind your tongue, young man. You should go home. Your mother is expecting news. And what if everything is on the news? She's probably very worried…"

Tetsu's eyes still displayed his antagonism, but he knew she was right. "Will you be okay?" he asked with a calm rage.

Kagome scowled and swatted him away. "Go home, Tetsu. I'll be fine."

Tetsu looked at her for a few moments before meeting Sesshoumaru's steely gaze and complying. He turned and left, not looking back, but vowing to call her later.

Sesshoumaru could hear her heartbeat pick up its pace. She looked frightened. "Daijoubou…"

Kagome's head snapped up. She hadn't expected him to speak for some reason. For that matter, she hadn't known what to expect. Would he kill her, kiss her – she felt a thrill at the prospect, and then quashed it – or just leave? But he was… asking if she were all right? Apparently. But she hadn't expected a reunion quite like this. After all this time…

The emotional stress was too much to bear, and Kagome turned on her heel to flee. But Sesshoumaru – quick as a cobra – caught her wrist. "Kagome, do not go."

The young woman didn't know what she should be more surprised at: the fact that he called her by name, or that he still had that formal way of speaking.

He was surprised to see tears in her eyes when she turned to face him, although her eyes would not meet his. Perhaps it was his ego, but he had assumed she would be happy to see him. "Are you… not well?" he asked, not wanting to push the subject.

Again, he caught her by surprise. Ever the one to brush things off, this was something she couldn't help to respond to. "No, I'm fine, I'm fine."

Sesshoumaru's eyebrow rose, as well as one corner of his mouth. "Is that so? Because you just died. You have been dead for at least half an hour. I should have called for an ambulance, but the boy insisted there be no interference from…"

He trailed off when Kagome lifted her hand to her mouth and giggled. His smirk faded as he wondered just what in the hell was so funny. Because surely death was no laughing matter. "What…?"

Kagome held up her other hand. "I'm sorry… I don't mean to be rude. It's just the thought of you using a phone…" She giggled again.

The youkai was taken aback. She was laughing at him?! "I do not see what is humorous. I have been using a cellular for a few decades now, and… What now?"

Kagome had kicked it up a few notches. The mental image of Sesshoumaru, in a business suit, with a cell at his elfish ears…

"Hn. I suppose I shall leave you, since you seem to be fine, as you said." Quickly, Sesshoumaru was out the door and approaching the Shrine's steps.

Sobering quickly, Kagome ran after him. Because of the subject matter, she finally took a long look at him, even if it was his back. But for the most part, all she really saw was a long, white lab coat. But there, near his calves, the pants underneath were revealed. They seemed to be – in fact – part of a suit. A grey, pinstriped suit. And… leather shoes. Well, maybe they were his old boots. But he looked normal. Like a doctor. Was Sesshoumaru a doctor? Why was he even around? She tried to remember Souta's words…

"Sesshoumaru's here. He lives in Northern Japan, and he comes to visit, but mom shoos him away because she doesn't want you to be upset, and the last time, he was really upset over something mom said, so he's been staying away, but he has a home in Tokyo…" Souta had known that Sesshoumaru was around. Perhaps even talked to him. Her mother had been upset, and tried to explain… "I couldn't add to your stress. I decided that it was best he stay away. But Kagome, I only told him to leave you be until it seemed like you needed him. And really, I can't think of a time you needed him more than now. Would you like to see him?" And she had told her mother no, but hadn't been able to explain. Wanting to see him but still hurt after all those years. And now he was here; he had saved her from certain death. By the way, how had he done that? Grateful as she was, however, she wasn't sure why he had saved her. But all the same…

"S-Sesshoumaru?" She watched as he froze. But he didn't turn. Would he respond? He had been trying to talk to her, after all.

"Hn?" He was several yards away, but his trademark response was easily discernible.

It made Kagome smile. "Thank you," she said softly, knowing his sensitive ears would pick it up.

He turned then, and Kagome could barely believe the emotion in his eyes. She was instantly transported to an easier, younger time. When she was frolicking with Rin, canoodling with Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha was upset, but alive. Oh, to go back to that time…

But…

One of those was right in front of her. He was looking at her with that look; in the many years that she had known him – as an enemy, as an ally, as a friend, as a lover – she had only seen him use that look for Rin, and herself. Of course, he looked at Rin differently; parental pride usually took precedence in that situation. Could it be that he still had feelings for her? No, it couldn't be. He had been disgusted with himself when he had learned what he had done. So there was no reason to keep him here if he wished to leave. Perhaps he only saved her because of some nostalgic whim…?

And then Sesshoumaru turned and left.

~~~~~%~~

"Kagome, I cannot help you any further if you do not tell me more about this Sesshoumaru. What is his last name? What does he do for a living? What was his relationship like with your husband?" Tanaka sounded more like a broken record at every session.

Kagome had wanted to skip it – that would show her! – but her stupid dignity had told her that wouldn't it be more mature if you went? Keh, dignity. Where was her dignity when she had run away from Sesshoumaru back to her era? Where had it been hiding when, out of pity for herself and pity for him – although some of it was revenge as well – she had married his brother? And where was it now, seeing as she should be talking to Sesshoumaru instead of a psychiatrist?

"I don't know who you're talking about," she replied coolly. "Only my friends and family know who my ex is."

Dignity. Hn.

Internally, she sighed. Both brothers had left a mark on her heart – and lexicon, apparently – but her stubbornness… well, it seemed that was something they all shared.

Tanaka scowled. "Why are you wasting your money, Higurashi-sama? You need help, and this is what I am here for!"

Kagome tried to block her out. 'La la la… I can't hear you. I'm in my own little world…'

"If you are not going to speak of the one thing that is keeping you from healing your heart, then you can go no further. You will not progress. What is so bad that you cannot speak of?"

'Oh, well, it's a complicated story – Uh, no! I mean, tra la-la la laaaa…'

"What could be worse than the death of your husband and unborn child? You have already talked of these things, and dealt with the pain."

'You don't understand. Inuyasha's death, I can hold myself accountable for. If I hadn't lead him on… And the baby, well, I loved her, sure, but I had never been eager for a child. So eventually, I healed. But this… Argh, she's getting to me! Cool down, Kagome…'

"Unless there was some sort of adultery involved, or this Sesshoumaru was an abusive man-"

Kagome snapped. "Sesshoumaru was never abusive! He was the kindest, gentlest, most handsome man I have ever known! I don't know what happened, all right?! One day we were together, and the next, he no longer loved me! Now DROP IT!" Her chest heaving and tears streaming down her face, Kagome got up from the sofa and headed for the door.

"Ah, you have not had any closure. No wonder you are so angry." Tanaka watched as Kagome paused. "You know, I once had a bad break-up. This man, who I'll call Gen, was the love of my life. We had many wonderful months together, and enjoyed peaceful moments snuggled up next to the fire in his home." Kagome turned back towards her, and she continued with a somber look on her face. "He was a lovely man, tall and lean – he played basketball, you know – but as popular as he was, he was also very quiet."

Many of the things Tanaka-san was saying rang with her, so Kagome walked back to the sofa and sat, her tears no longer flowing, but she refused to dry them.

"Oh, and he was so handsome!" The older woman giggled and put her hands on her cheeks, mildly embarrassed at the memory. "Other women would die to be with him – I even got in a few fights," she winked at Kagome, to the younger woman's astonishment, "but it was me he wanted."

This, too, was true in Kagome's case. Sesshoumaru had been quite the catch, but for some reason, he had wanted her.

The therapist's tone grew grave. "Then one day, he simply told me that I was unwelcome. I had to stop coming around. And that was the end of that."

Kagome stared with wide, cerulean eyes. "And… and you just gave up? Just like that?" She was shocked.

Tanaka tried to look abashed. "Well, what would you have done?"

The young miko was all fired up, and when she was feeling spirited nothing could stop her words. "I would have fought for him! At least gotten a reason! I mean, to just quit and go away?!" Kagome faltered for a moment, and then continued, a little more subdued. "I should've refused. I should've told him I'd rather have died than leave. I should've… I should've let him cool down and then gone back after a few days. I should've told Inuyasha 'no'. I shouldn't have gotten married to Inuyasha. Things would be so different…" Putting her head in her hands, Kagome sobbed loudly, her breath coming in gasps.

Tanaka moved to the couch beside her and rubbed the younger woman's back, smiling inwardly. Finally, a breakthrough! Hopefully the girl could move on now. But first, she had some owning-up to do.

"Kagome-sama, it is true that there are many things that you can or can't do. It is easy for anyone to say they could have done things differently. The wise person learns from it and decides what they are going to do next."

"Going… to… do…? I can't do anything!" She had a wild look in her eyes; the expression of a desperate person. "It's all my fault, isn't it? I had no business falling in love with him. If I had just refused him, then he would've found someone of his own… status, and probably had kids! Even if I had fallen for him, I should've just fought through it and given him time. Why didn't I? Why did I just assume that he wouldn't want me and leave?! Inuyasha would still be alive. And I would be there, with Sango and Miroku, and Rin. Instead of in stupid Modern Tokyo!" The tears flowed once more, but from anger now.

"Modern…? Higurashi-sama, what do you mean?"

"It's all my fault! And I'll never see any of them again! It all comes down to the stupid jewel again! If I had just sucked it up and made the wish…"

"Er, Kagome-sama…"

"Then maybe I could've stayed! I was such a scared girl… What was there to be afraid of? I was well-respected, I had friends, and I had a home. But no, I wanted both worlds!" The miko was pulling on her hair now, frustrated and grief-stricken.

It was silent for a while before Kagome looked up to find Tanaka staring at her with worried eyes. "Kagome, you have been keeping much a secret. I do not know where to start. Perhaps you need to start telling the truth. You need to trust me, Kagome."

Kagome looked at her with wide, sad eyes. Tanaka felt as if she were starting to understand a bit of the grief Kagome felt. After all, for such a young woman, she had been through much more than some twice her age had experienced. "You don't understand," Kagome said in a depressed voice, "there are some things I just cannot divulge! They're not my secrets to share!"

This was something Tanaka could understand. If she was willing but unable… well, that was totally different from being too stubborn to talk. "Okay, Higurashi-sama. Tell me as much as you can. I give you permission to fib where you must in order to help me understand you. But this is important. You have had a breakthrough. I bet you have been blaming everyone else, and then told yourself no one is to blame. This is healthy, but you skipped the part where you fault yourself, and until you learn otherwise, you cannot move on. So… tell me."

Kagome had listened, and it sounded like she could do this. How hard could it be? And Tanaka couldn't possibly guess… With a huge sigh, Kagome began.

"You see, when I was fifteen, I fell in love with Inuyasha. I even studied under a real miko – she was so wonderful and taught me such valuable lessons… I met his brother, Sesshoumaru, but the two never got along. They had two different mothers, and their father died before Inuyasha knew him. They were a royal family, but Inuyasha's mother was… a peasant. Yes, a peasant." Kagome felt bad, lying in such a way as to dishonor Inuyasha's mother, but there was no other way to put it. "So Sesshoumaru hated Inuyasha for his mixed blood. He was constantly trying to… fight Inuyasha, but it was never too serious." 'Oh, no… cutting off a limb or putting your hand through someone's stomach is never serious.' Kagome wanted to roll her eyes at her own story, but at least she was getting the hang of it.

"One day, a criminal in their part of the city was making headlines, and everyone feared him. Inuyasha, and eventually Sesshoumaru, each took it upon themselves to rid themselves of this murderer. We met some great people who became like family to us-"

"Is this the Miroku and Sango you spoke of?" the therapist asked, jotting down notes.

"Hai," Kagome answered before continuing. "They, too, had been tricked in one way or another by the criminal and wanted revenge. Sesshoumaru was too proud to work directly with us, but we bumped in to him a lot. Along the way, the brothers sort of had their own therapy and eventually worked things out to the point of not wanting to fight any more. One day, Sesshoumaru found a little homeless girl whom he adopted, which was a big step for him. None of us understood why he would care for her when he hated Inuyasha, but she helped heal his heart. We all defeated the criminal together, but I had a Jewel that the thief was constantly trying to take. It was very valuable, and after his death, other thieves came out of the woodworks in an attempt to take the jewel. But even though we loved each other, Inuyasha never asked me to be his wife, so I would go back and forth between Tokyo and his home."

"Ah. That explains the two worlds. Quite dramatic you are with the descriptions. Carry on."

"Another group of misfits came for my Jewel, and we were all fighting. Another homeless child that Inuyasha and I were taking care of-"

"You adopted a child?" Tanaka asked, her face a mask of pure shock.

"Not so much so. It wasn't legal, but he did stay with us. Anyways, he was in trouble, and I sacrificed myself for him. He got away to tell the others, but they were all too beat up from fighting. I was in danger, and Sesshoumaru appeared out of nowhere and saved me. We hadn't seen him in a while, but there he was. Somehow during the fight, I injured him, then passed out – probably from exhaustion. He lost his memories, but he still cared for me. Rin knew me, however, and when I woke up, I got to know the real Sesshoumaru. The one that wasn't masked by royalty or pride. The one that – if not for his hatred of "peasants" – would have been so kind and good. I diagnosed him with 'post-traumatic Retrograde Amnesia'."

Tanaka's eyes widened even further.

"I take it you know what I'm referring to…"

The psychiatrist nodded, as things like this were taught in her field. She had never had an amnesiac patient herself, but knew of colleagues that had. Now that her interest was doubly piqued, she urged Kagome on. "So did he get it back?"

"Well, I wound up staying in his home for a while, getting to know him, and Rin became like a little sister to me. Little by little, pieces of his life came to him. He loathed his former self and constantly begged for my forgiveness about things that had happened when our groups' paths had crossed. He was so remorseful, and wondered if his brother would forgive him. I tried to reassure him, but there was too much going on. Eventually I asked to go back because I had school, and when he brought me back the accusations ran wild. Everyone had thought I was dead, and when I show up with Sesshoumaru, everyone thinks I was kidnapped. Well, I couldn't tell the truth, but gave them a watered-down version."

"Like you're doing to me?" Tanaka quipped, an eyebrow ratcheted into her hairline.

Kagome laughed uneasily. "Uh, yeah. So, I went home and stayed until the weekend, where I went back to Sesshoumaru's. Unfortunately, more and more of his memories were coming back and he was suffering through how harsh he used to be. And then one day…" She trailed off, her words barely the whisper of a feather on the wind.

"He was whole," Tanaka finished, understanding the pain in Kagome's voice.

The young woman nodded. "I'd never thought of it that way, but yes. He was intact, and he was furious that he'd allowed himself to be 'tainted' by such a normal girl…" Kagome began to sob once more, and Tanaka rubbed her back in soothing circles.

After a few minutes, she was able to continue. "I was distraught. I wasn't thinking clearly. So I allowed Inuyasha to court me again. He hadn't taken it well when I told everyone that I loved Sesshoumaru, and had been waiting for another chance. I felt like I owed it to him. It wasn't his fault; he told me later that the reason he never proposed was that he was waiting for me to finish school…"

"A reasonable excuse," Tanaka chided.

Kagome hung her head. "Yes. Very reasonable. Although… I wish he had said something. He never once told me he loved me. He was so unused to using words for affection. Well, when he finally proposed, I said yes, even though I was still in love with Sesshoumaru, even in denial. Eventually, he moved into the Shrine and we got married. The rest you know."

Tanaka, still scribbling furiously on her notepad, was silent for a few moments before looking up and sighing deeply. "Well, Kagome. Except for whatever you intentionally changed or left out, I'd say you had some very big scars on your shoulders."

"Had?" Kagome said incredulously. "No, no, no… Have. Not past tense."

"Yes, past tense. Because by talking about it and getting whatever guilt you felt out, you'll begin to heal properly. But you've forgotten one thing. This whole thing with your mother… What is going on?"

Kagome looked everywhere but at the therapist. How could she possibly begin?

"Just give me the basics, Kagome. You've trusted me with much more. I can at least respect your privacy of certain things."

Kagome stared for a moment, caught off guard. But – not one to look a gift horse in the mouth – she took the opportunity. "She's been keeping something secret from me. The fact that Sesshoumaru has been coming to see me. She never told me that he still cared. There were so many times where I needed him…"

"Are you sure, Kagome?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she said, taking her thick, black-rimmed glasses off, "what if he wasn't what you needed? What if your mind is clouded, and you would have told him to go away? What if, by allowing him to see you, it had harmed your relationship with him further?"

Kagome was speechless. She honestly had not thought of that. Sure, many people had run the whole 'maybe it was for your own good' bit past her, but not in this way. Tanaka just might have a point.

"If what you say is true, and he comes around to see you-"

"Er, yeah. About that…"

Tanaka's eyes turned into big pickled plums. "Has he…?"

"I sorta…" How does one explain dying by transferring their life force into another person, and then coming back to life over half an hour later to find your long-lost love staring at you? Talking was so much easier with Sango… "Well, I was visiting a friend in the hospital and we ran into each other. He took me home, but then he left."

Tanaka gave her a dubious look. "That's all?"

Kagome's brows furrowed. "That's all."

"Hmm. I see…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kagome all but shouted.

"Well, it's just that you've finally opened up, and you seem about ready to jump out of your seat at the drop of a hat. You're not usually so… panicky."

"I'm… panicky?"

"I'm not sure if that's the right word, but our time is up."

"What do you mean, our time is up? I finally tell you everything, and you're shoving me out the door?"

"Kagome, a psychiatrist does not shove clients out the door. But they do have others to attend to, and what's more, you did not tell me everything," she said with a poignant look.

Kagome huffed. "Okay, fine. I'll go. But I might not be back," she said, grabbing her purse and leaving through the exit door.

Tanaka sighed. "I hope not, Kagome. I hope this Sesshoumaru can do for you what I could not."

~~~~~%~~

Kagome spent the next week busying herself, trying to keep her brain at bay. Seeing Sesshoumaru again… His face, his youki, his eyes... They haunted her. Not only during her waking moments, but during her dreams, as well. Sweeping the shrine steps, making ornaments for visitors, laundry, cooking, bathing Hijiri, tidying her room; nothing helped to keep the memories at bay.

She knew what her problem was. Tanaka had helped her a great deal, and the fact that she thought talking to Sesshoumaru would help made sense. But Kagome didn't want to do that. She thought if she ever saw him again… Well, she honestly had no idea what to expect, but countless scenarios went through her mind. There had been a few where when she tried to apologize for running off to Tokyo, and Sesshoumaru had turned his back on her, as he did about a week ago. But that didn't make it hurt any less. It hadn't prepared her for actually seeing him.

There had been something there, though. Before he left. Something in his usually stoic stares gave away a little of what he had been thinking. There was a reason he left. However, it wasn't like Kagome could just pick up a phone and call him. She didn't have his number. Well, her mother might, but she wasn't about to ask her. And Souta might as well, but she really didn't want to have that conversation; her little brother – who wasn't so little any more – was wiser than she at this point. She also couldn't very well call up information and ask for the number of 'Sesshoumaru'. I mean, they would probably think she was crazy, and what if he didn't go by that name any more? The thought of it made her sad. The thought of Sesshoumaru – so powerful, so beautiful, so glorious in the Sengoku Jidai – not even using his own name was depressing.

Without a feasible way to contact him, and with so many thoughts running through her head, Kagome continued her life. She attempted to stay as busy as possible, until she was exhausted.

She didn't go to her next session with Tanaka.

~~~~~%~~

Sesshoumaru kicked himself mentally for a week. He thought he had learned from his mistake in the past. When he watched his brother marrying the love of his life, he should have stormed into the circle of friends, scooped Kagome up, and ran off with her.

Well, his brother would've chased him – unsuccessfully, of course, since as a half-breed, Inuyasha was much slower than he – and Kagome might have – successfully, since she was in fact that powerful – zapped him with her powers. But at least he would've done something. Yet, here he was again, running away from his problems.

Since when did the most powerful being that ever existed run away from anything?

Apparently, when it came to Kagome, he was, in fact, capable of running away. Now the question remained of what he was going to do about it.

~~~~~%~~

After missing a few more sessions, Tanaka became worried and went to Kagome's home.

"I assure you, Kagome-sama, I simply came to make sure you were alive and well. I am not even sure I can do anything further for you. The rest is up to you."

Kagome was shocked. "You… you mean you're not going to push me into more therapy?"

Tanaka grabbed her patient's hand in both of hers. "You need something from this man. Whatever it is, I cannot help you figure that out. The only way you can find out is by confronting him – and your fears."

This made sense, somewhat. Removing her hand from Tanaka's, Kagome frowned. "I have to talk to him? That's… impossible."

"Whatever your situation, it is simply improbable. Nothing is impossible. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. And it is obvious that you both love each other."

Kagome made a noise that sounded somewhat like a groan mixed with a sigh, with a bit of a giggle in there somewhere as she planted her palm on her forehead. "Tanaka-san, respectfully, you've never met him, so you don't know that. And I no longer love him, so you are wrong. It is not obvious."

Tanaka chuckled in only the way a wiser, older woman can. "Kagome-sama, you are still young, and sometimes, a little stupid," she said, tapping the taller woman's soft, wavy-haired head. "This man came to your home several times to see you. He would have, had your mother not intervened, yes?" When Kagome nodded, she continued. "Obviously, he still cares for you very much. Perhaps it is you that is getting in your own way. You still care for him as well, otherwise, you would not need closure. Although, perhaps it is not closure that you truly seek."

With that, the old woman turned and walked out the door of her home. Hijiri followed her to the shrine steps, and then came padding back to the kitchen door before opening it. The incredibly smart dog had learned he could open the door by nosing the handle until it opened a crack, then put his nose there and swung it open. Kagome still stood where he left her.

In those previous moments, Tanaka had reminded her of old Kaede: clever, wise beyond her years, and truly wanting to help those in need. Kagome felt awful for always feeling like Tanaka didn't care, or just wanted money. She would have to remember to send her flowers someday to thank her. The words she spoke ran true. But she still had no way to contact Sesshoumaru without talking to her mother or brother. And she didn't want anyone else involved.

On the other hand, it had been almost a month since she had seen him. Maybe then, he had decided she was no longer worth waiting for? That was always a possibility, but Kagome wouldn't think that way. She needed to know. She needed to see him. But as she couldn't currently do much about it, she figured all she could do was go on with her life. If opportunity presented itself, she would know it was time.

Kagome spent another five weeks returning to normalcy. She started practicing yoga once more. She took Hijiri for nice long walks – to which others would usually cross the street long before they approached. And she cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned some more. Sometimes, Souta would call. Occasionally, Tetsu and his girlfriend would drop by and spread a little of their youthful energy. And almost every other day, Kayo came to bring Kagome something: a coffee drink, some red bean cakes, flowers she had picked, a biscuit for Hijiri…

Kagome knew her friend was worried for her, and that she was using little excuses to check on her. But it was sweet, and she wasn't being intrusive, and she loved Kayo. Plus, as time went on, her friend came less and less, believing Kagome was truly getting along fine. And she was, for the most part. She'd come to peace with almost everything in her life, except for her regrets with Sesshoumaru. And until she saw him, that couldn't be rectified. Or at least she could apologize. It wouldn't solve anything, but at least she would get what she's been meaning to say all these years off her chest. Over those weeks, she imagined several scenarios, some humorous, some ending in her demise – again.

One began with her running into Sesshoumaru on the streets of Tokyo. She began to apologize, and he simply… walked away. It was devastating. So she then thought of him bursting into her kitchen, and as she tried to apologize, he swept her up and kissed her deeply. That one flustered her as well as made her tear up, and she had to move on. Then, one daydream happened to take place at his home – one that Kagome had to imagine, since she didn't know where he lived. But Souta had said he lived up North, so she imagined Sesshoumaru with a big, furry, white fur coat on. But he looked like a pimp, and she burst out laughing.

Hijiri cocked his head, his large, furry triangular ears perked forward, wondering what was going on with his master's emotions. He looked so much like Inuyasha in that moment that it sobered her quickly. She finished collecting the dishes she had just finished washing and put them away. There was a soft knock at the door, and Kagome instantly thought Kayo had come to bring her ice cream or something similar. But then the large dog growled softly, followed by a nervous glance her way. This was… unusual. If there were danger, Hijiri was fearless and would barrel out the door. This was different. Testing her powers, she felt… youki! But, there were virtually no demons left! Could it be? Not daring to get her hopes up, Kagome opened the inner, hardwood door and was faced with…

Sesshoumaru.

Her breath left her in a whoosh, like a summer breeze through a majestic elm's leaves. And he was just standing there, looking just as handsome as the first time she'd seen him. Just a little more… modern. All this time, she'd been planning what to say. And now he was there, standing in front of her. And she couldn't say anything. Her mouth gaped unattractively.

"Hello, Kagome."

Ok, don't hate me for another cliffhanger, lol. I WILL get back on track. It's been a long road to having time to myself once again, and I'm finally at that point. Again, y'all are the best fans a writer could hope for. I realize this pairing is dying down, because the Inuyasha series isn't as popular anymore, but for me, it will always be my favorite. Thanks for sticking around. This chapter is dedicated to those of you that have stuck around since October of 2007.