Chapter 32

Kirsten came into the kitchen at 6:30 on Monday morning to find Sandy already sitting at the table drinking coffee. He was not so much drinking it as staring into the bottom of the cup looking for the answer to some unsolvable riddle.

"The coffee doesn't have the answer you know" Kirsten said as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"I know, but it's a good place to stare while I sit and wish I could take back what I said to Ryan yesterday. I may have irretrievably damaged my relationship with him for the sake of Julie Cooper. You told me I'd think of something to say and I know it was the wrong thing." He swilled the coffee around and took a sip. "I stooped to emotional blackmail and used his brother as the trump card. How horrible is that?"

"Honey, I'm sure Ryan will forgive you. He just needs time, and I'm sure he will be thinking about what you said. You know how much Jamie means to him. Besides, he'll probably be home before you get home today and I'll talk to him when he comes to get Nate. I'll make sure he knows how you feel." She stroked the back of his hair as he stood up to hug her and kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"You always know how to cheer me up" he smiled "but it's days like these that I kind of miss the surf in Newport Beach. It would have been a great morning to ride some four footers while I thought about things. I'm gonna head into the campus early. I've got some papers to grade. Are you ok with Nate and school?" he asked as he picked up his briefcase.

"I'll be fine, honey. I'm going to take Sophie to school and then come back and get Nate and take him over to Berkeley High School. Hopefully I can get everything done except the paperwork signing and I'll get Ryan to do that when he comes to pick him up." She blew Sandy a kiss as he nodded and walked out the door. He was actually glad that he was able to go to the campus and escape from what was going on at home for a while.

Julie had not slept very well on Sunday night. Actually, she had hardly slept at all since she came face to face with Marissa on Friday evening. She had done her best during the day to not let on to Jamie that anything was wrong or different which left the nights after he had gone to bed for her mull over everything she had done and how she could possibly fix it.

Sandy and Kirsten had agreed to help with Ryan and Marissa which was some consolation, but she was still going to have to face them and give each of them a separate explanation and apology for the specific wrong she had visited on them. That had consumed her thoughts for most of the weekend, but Sunday night she had sat up almost all night thinking of what she was going to say to Kaitlin.

Although she had been extremely close with Kaitlin since Marissa's accident, there was still a part of Kaitlin that she felt she could never reach. Kaitlin had dealt with the 'death' of her older sister by having the wild phase that Marissa had, but also throwing herself into her schoolwork. The fact that she had managed to maintain high grades while partying every weekend and staying out all hours caused Julie infuriating frustration in trying to punish her.

The fact that Kaitlin had lost her sister and was dealing with it in her own way and was headed to college at the end of her junior year led Julie to cut her a lot more slack on the wild child front than she ever had with Marissa. The unexpected result had been a bond of friendship and camaraderie that Julie had never had with her older daughter. The sacrifice had been that they never talked about Marissa. Kaitlin would not, or could not talk about her at least not with, and that's where Julie felt she could not reach her younger daughter.

Kaitlin had formed a close bond with Ryan over the years and they had often had talks long into the night about everything from their current love life situations to politics to Marissa. Interestingly enough, Marissa usually came up in the love life conversations since for the most part Ryan hadn't had a love life except his hook ups with Taylor before she came back for Summer and Seth's wedding. Instead of a big sister, she had a big brother who had played the part well actually chasing away a couple of undesirable suitors. Kaitlin had cried to Ryan on many occasions about how she wished her and Marissa had spent more time together as friends and not enemies or rivals for their mother and father's attention.

Julie knew how close Kaitlin and Ryan were and knew she had to tell Kaitlin before he did or the problem would be made ten times worse. Julie had picked up the phone a dozen times in the evening to call and tell Kaitlin everything, but backed out at the last minute. She knew she could not put it off any longer and so had decided at just after 6 a.m. on Monday morning to call her. It was with a small sense of relief that she got Kaitlin's voice mail. She tried to stop her voice from shaking and left a message.

"Hey, Kaiti, it's me. I was just calling to how things were with my little genius. Jay and I miss you. Oh, Ryan and Taylor broke up, but I'm sure he told you that already. Anyway, call me when you get this. Love you, sweetie. Bye."

Julie replaced the phone in its cradle and pulled herself together. It was time to wake Jamie up and put on her brave face for the day. Ryan wasn't going to be in the office, so she had to be in case something came up. The last thing she needed to do was let him down on that front as well. She poured herself another cup of coffee and went upstairs to start her day wishing for it to be over already so she could talk to Ryan, Marissa…and Kaitlin.

Ryan and Marissa woke early on Monday morning as well. Since they had spent all of Sunday afternoon in bed making love, they had actually got a full nights sleep. Marissa woke first to find she was laying on left side and fully engulfed by Ryan's right arm in the tightest spoon hug. She tried to lift his arm without waking him so she could get up, but was unsuccessful. As soon as she lifted his arm he had stirred and only squeezed her tighter.

"Oh no you don't" he whispered in her ear as he kissed her neck. "It's been far too long. I'm not quite done with you yet." His husky morning voice was so sexy she didn't want to get up. Sadly, nature called.

"Ryan, I have to go to the bathroom" she pleaded.

"Grrr. Fine. Make it quick." He grumbled with his eyes still closed. He opened them as she got out of bed and he watched her fantastic naked form walk to the bathroom.

"You know, we should probably get up and make an early start" Marissa called from the bathroom.

"I couldn't agree more" he said with a cheeky grin as she returned "in fact, I'm already up" he indicated to the tent in the covers with his eyes and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Marissa rolled her eyes and slid back under the covers and straddled him. "Well, let me see what I can do about that" she said as she rubbed her breasts up and down his chest and kissed him passionately.

Ryan responded by wrapping his arms tight around her as their tongues danced together and pushing his hips up to her so she could feel his full hardness.

"Or maybe, you just have to go to the bathroom too…" she giggled.

"Or maybe, I find my girlfriend so goddam hot, I can't control myself" he smirked as he used his right hand to guide himself to her opening as he slipped inside her easily.

Marissa moaned at the sensation and smiled at him calling her his girlfriend. "Girlfriend, huh?" she said as she dropped more kisses on him.

"What else would I call you?" he said as he thrust up into her.

"I….don't …..know…." she gasped between thrusts as she sat up and threw her head back steadying herself with her hands on his chest.

"So is this how it's going to be?" Ryan asked playfully as he kept his rhythm up. His hands were on her hips pulling her down each time he pushed up.

"How….what's….going…..to……be?" Marissa was having trouble speaking as she felt her orgasm build.

"Nights for tender, sensual….serious stuff. Mornings….for sillyness, giggling and talking through it all." He laughed. He was watching her face. Talking actually seemed to be the last thing on her mind right now. Even though she was on top, he had complete control of their movements and knew he was driving her over the edge.

"Holy…….shit,….Ryan…….do……I…….look……..like……I……..want…..to….taaaaaaaaalk?" Marissa collapsed on top of him as she released. He picked up the pace to a lightning speed as he continued to feel her muscles contract around him.

"Ok, no more talking. One more for you, and then my turn." He pushed up hard and fast as he felt Marissa release again and she moaned into his ear. The feel of the warm juices and her muscles contracting again was enough to put him over the edge. He gave four slow hard thrusts and collapsed limp with Marissa still on top of him.

"Oh, I love you" Marissa panted as she rolled off him.

"I love you, too." He leaned over to kiss her forehead and slumped back on the bed. They lay on their backs with their arms out of the covers holding hands for a while in silence.

"Ok, now about that early start…" Ryan quipped.

"I do want to go on a driving tour and then we should head back. I'll should follow you." Marissa suggested.

"No way. I'm going to call for a flat bed tow truck to take it back to her. You're riding with me. Besides, wouldn't you rather be in a Range Rover than a Ford Focus?" he laughed.

"Yeah, I guess." She smiled. "I'm going to take a shower now." Ryan started to get up as well. "Er…alone…this time. I actually want to get some things accomplished in there." She giggled as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Probably just as well, Ryan thought. He needed the rest.