Author's Note: Wow...so I was re-reading what I had written as I was preparing to write this chapter, and realized that despite my promise to decrease the time between updates, it's been over a year since I have updated this fic...I apologize so, so deeply. I'm truly sorry to all of you, and especially HeartBr0ken. Anyway, I'm back in the saddle now, and ready to ride this baby off into the sunset. So here it is; the second to last chapter of "To The Snow". I hope you enjoy, and I promise, promise, promise that I will finish this before the new year.

Thank you for all the wonderful feedback, and more importantly, for your patience. I love you all.

To the Snow

"Breath on the Window"

He'd decided to take the subway home, rather than a cab; he wanted some time to think, to prepare the speech he would give Kairi the next morning when he finally left her. But somewhere between the park and his apartment – the near abandoned apartment, not Kairi's – Sora had also decided that he would not leave her so quickly. She deserved more. He'd sleep on it, on his newfound sense of self and determination. If, in the morning, he still doubted his feelings for her, then he would talk to her and break things off. He fully expected to wake up and find that his mind was still set on leaving, but he figured that she at least had earned some sort of second chance.

What Sora had not expected, was to open the door to the apartment he had not been to in months and find the girl waiting for him. Kairi was still in her copper gown, her hair slightly mussed, her eyes red and complexion blotched as she sat on a long couch in the living room, gazing across into the kitchen, focus trained on the door as her near-fiancé arrived. He blinked at her for a while, weighing his options, and clearing his throat. After a moment, it appeared that he had decided to ignore her as he removed his blazer and tossed it uncaringly onto a nearby armchair.

"I was hoping I wouldn't find you here," she whispered, her voice worn with tears.

Sora didn't need to say anything. His question was implied; Why had she come to his apartment, then?

Kairi sighed. The sound was accompanied by a rustle of fabric as she adjusted the fold of her dress, preparing to leave the couch. "I was hoping, but I knew I would anyway," she answered.

"I didn't know you had a key," was the only thing her boyfriend could think to reply with. For a long while, they were both silent. She was unsure of how to respond to the comment; she couldn't decide whether or not to point out that he had given her the key.

"Of course I have a key," she at last murmured, sullenly. "Why didn't you come home?"

Something lodged itself in Sora's throat as he searched for an appropriate answer to Kairi's question. He wanted to tell her that this apartment – his apartment – was home, that hers wasn't. But that would have tasted too much like a lie. He wasn't really sure where he considered home at the moment. More than anything in the world though, he wanted to be honest with her right now, in their last moments as...as whatever it was they were.

Which would make it very difficult not to hurt her.

"You slept with him, didn't you?" she snapped, her voice cracking with the force of the sob that had wrenched itself into the middle of her question. Suddenly, and intensely, anger flared in the pit of Sora's stomach as he whirled around to face the red-head, his jaw clenched and breath hot.

"Do you really I think I would do that to you Kairi?"

"You did last time didn't you?" The question was rhetorical, but Sora answered it anyway.

"I didn't, actually." Twisting his lips to one side he shrugged, nonchalantly, and watched his girlfriend as she grew even more furious with him. He didn't need to say it so matter-of-factly, to let her know that he didn't quite care about the fact that she'd suspected him of cheating for nearly three years, but he was trying to make things easier for her. Maybe if he acted like an ass, later, after he left her, she'd feel less like she'd lost him and more like...well, more like she was better off for not having him anymore.

"What are you implying?" she whispered. Hissed was probably more accurate. "Are you...are you trying to tell me that for all these years you let me think that you'd slept with Roxas? That, that you just sat there knowing I thought that, knowing that it was killing me, and did nothing to correct me, to console me?"

The brunette cleared his throat and looked away from her, that scorn melting into a more bitter taste. "Well when you put it that way..."

"So that's a yes?"

"...yes."

"So you didn't sleep with Roxas?"

"No, I didn't."

"Did you want to?"

"No."

"Did he want to sleep with you?"

"No. Neither of us wanted that."

Kairi sighed heavily and rose to her feet. "You knew I thought that the two of you..."

"I know." Sora fell silent, his head drooping forward and his resolve waning suddenly. He didn't want to hurt her, but neither did he want to lie to her anymore. "We kind of wanted you to."

Immediately, the girl fell back into her seat in a staggering sort of motion, her eyes popping wide open and her chest collapsing as every ounce of air in her lungs burst into nothingness. He watched her, ashamed of himself, and waited silently for her response. There was nothing he could say to make this better. The best he could do was keep his mouth shut and let her tear him apart as she wished, once she was ready. He owed her that much.

"Why?" she asked eventually, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes.

Blinking, Sora shrugged. He knew she couldn't see him, was perhaps refusing to look at him, but he also knew that his silence would tell her enough. He didn't know why he and Roxas had purposefully acted like they were sleeping with each other, with the intention of her believing so. At the time, it had seemed like fun, and the idea had filled Sora with a sort of rebellious pride. Now, it just seemed...stupid. Malicious.

"I don't know which is worse." As she spoke, Kairi lifted her head slowly, her eyes burned and jaw clenched as she breathed out through her nose heavily. Sora imagined her breath was hot and moist with anger, and he couldn't blame her. He waited for her to explain what the two options were, but knew she wouldn't. It wasn't necessary.

"Kairi, listen," he started, but stopped as soon as he ventured another glance at her. Her face was bright red and tears were slipping swiftly down her cheeks.

"Don't. Don't you even dare apologize to me, Sora. There is nothing you could ever say that can make this better."

"Kairi," he tried again, and again she stalled his apology with her indignation.

"No."

"Please just-"

"Shut up!" she shrieked, raking her nails through her hair with a wild look in her eyes. "Don't talk. Don't say anything. Just don't...I can't...you...you bastard. How could you? How could you do this to me? You let me think that you cheated on me, and what's worse was that I'd forgiven you for it. I told myself it was all my fault; that I had driven you into his arms. And I convinced myself that you didn't admit it because you actually loved me. So I forgave you. But I never, never forgave myself."

His mouth hung open as he watched her fight against a sob. Her body shook with the effort, and all he could do was stare at her, his heart empty and every inch of his body heavy with guilt. For a while, he debated what to do, and decided upon stepping forward to hold her, or attempt to comfort her. As soon as he made to move towards her, a fierce sob tore through her frame, her shoulders shuddering violently as her voice cracked with emotion and her crying turned into hysterical weeping.

"Stay away," she managed to grind out between sobs, her voice hoarse and high.

"Kairi," Sora whispered. He felt horrible. He couldn't remember a time when he'd felt so awful, so low and inhuman. Kairi was right to be so upset. Beyond right. He would have been terrified of anyone who wasn't upset in this situation. There would have to be something terribly fucked up in them. In reality, there was probably something terribly fucked up in him for having put her through this.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" she hissed, her voice still loaded with hatred, but also weighed down with sorrow now.

Her most-likely-now-ex-boyfriend nodded and took a step backward as her weeping quieted, the full force of her anger slowly dissipating. She slid off the couch with a final sob, slumping on the floor with her head cradled in her arms, auburn hair pooling on her shoulders and tear-drops staining the neckline of her dress.

For a long while she was silent, and he watched her carefully. With every passing moment he was becoming more and more convinced that she would fall apart, burst into a cloud of dust and just float away from him. He listened to every sniffle, focused on each shining tear that hung from her lashes until her fingers swatted them away. Not once during this time did she look at him.

"Tell me the truth now, Sora," she whispered, raising a hand to her mouth to chew on her fingernails. "If I mean anything to you, anything at all, you will do this for me."

The brunette nodded, his eyes still trained on her every movement. She swallowed hard before continuing.

"Were you going to do this again? With Riku?"

When Sora sighed, this time it was with relief. He was afraid her question would be one whose answer would hurt her even more. "No, I wasn't."

"And you didn't sleep with him, either?"

"No, I didn't."

"But you wanted to?"

"...Yes. I did."

She nodded, reaching out to hug her knees to her chest. "But you came back to me. Why?"

Sora shrugged.

"You don't love me, do you?"

He licked his lips nervously and ran a hand through his hair. "I...I don't know how to answer that question, Kai. It's complicated."

Again, Kairi nodded. "Right," she mumbled, "that's what I thought." He pretended not have heard her, knowing that her words were not meant for him anyway. "I can't forgive you for this."

Sora sighed, feeling pathetic. "You shouldn't," he said. She seemed surprised that he agreed, but still remained as she was, biting her nails and looking away from him. He cringed as he watched her grind her teeth together and drop her hands back to her sides. As she stood, slowly, he watched her nails cut small crescents into her palms. Finally, she turned towards him, disgust burning in her amethyst eyes as they captured his own.

"Do one favor for me, Sora. You owe me that much, at the very, very least," she said. Sora was sure that there would be no arguing this point, even if he had wanted to.

"Of course, Kai."

"Stop calling me that." It was a demand, but he knew it was not the favor she was asking of him. "And don't leave me. I know you were planning to. I've seen it coming. But now, don't you dare leave me. You have no right to do that to me. I am the one who will leave, when I'm good and ready to."

Sora couldn't figure out what Kairi's intentions were, but he nodded anyway. He had to agree to this. She was right. It really was the very least he could do for her. But what exactly was she trying to do? Did she still have feelings for him, despite that hideous thing he had done to her? Maybe she was going to wait, sort these out, and decide whether or not to go. Or was she merely trying to punish him by forcing him to stay with her, to be in daily contact with her hatred and his own searing guilt?

Before he could make a decision, the door behind him boomed and shook with the force of someone's knocking, and he heard a voice – Riku's voice – call to him through the thick wood. Immediately, Kairi's eyes widened as she fumed at her still-boyfriend. She mouthed a single word – 'don't' – and so Sora remained silent, even as the knocking and calling continued.

"Sora, please!" Riku's voice begged, the knocking finally ceasing. He was silent for a few moments, as were both Kairi and Sora. Finally, the youngest Higure spoke again. "It has nothing to do with me, I promise. It's Cloud..."

At the mention of his friend, and business partner's name, Sora ignored all of Kairi's silent warnings and pleadings and flung the door open. "What happened?"

"There's a business emergency. He called me and asked me to find you. He wouldn't tell me anything else." Riku explained, his eyes not bothering to travel past the set of songbird eyes in front of him even once.

From inside the apartment, Kairi glared. Sora heard her release a small, frustrated sob. The brunette turned to her, pleading with her to let him go. She took a long moment to consider, before gathering her voice and aiming her words at Riku.

"Where will you be taking him?" she asked coldly, her voice surprisingly even.

"To Seph's apartment. He and Cloud are there, trying to sort things out. I promise."

Kairi scoffed, but nodded. Clearly her concern for her close friend's future husband had outweighed the real issue at hand. She didn't need to trust Riku for long. Sephiroth lived in an apartment building only a block away.

Sora swallowed, hard, and walked back to the red-headed girl, who still looked so pale and fragile. She recoiled when he leaned forward to offer a kiss, but he whispered his thanks anyway.

She sniffed, and wiped away a lingering tear. "You'll come back to me," she said. It was neither a question nor a demand. It was simply a fact she happened to be stating. She had that much power over him now, and he could not begrudge her it.

And so he nodded, then disappeared, stepping out into the dark city.