Summery: AU. Jessica and Bella have been best friends since the beginning of 6th grade. Then Edward entered the picture. Jessica's POV.
Rating: T
Author's Note: This is just another look at the Edward/Bella relationship, which has always weirded me out despite the fact that I still read the books. Since everyone else I talk to seems to not see it, I decided to rewrite the whole concept in a quick oneshot to get my point across. This was not meant to change your mind about Edward and Bella or the books themselves, just look at them a different way.
Month of March
Cursa
She called me at dinnertime in the summer of sixth grade, inviting me along on a family weeklong camping trip starting tomorrow. There was no way my parents would allow me to go; she was only an acquaintance from school- I'm not even sure how she got my phone number, our parents had never met, and it was so last minute, I knew without asking they would never agree to it. They surprised me, however, when they told me to go pack.
The next morning, everything was loaded into their trailer and off we went. They say Rome wasn't built in a day, but in this case, that was a lie. During the three hour-long car ride, we discovered our mutual obsession over the Harry Potter series. In fact, we had both brought all of the books that were out at the time, including the newest book Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and we spent the rest of the drive discussing it.
She had always been a quiet girl in school, the severity of her acne making her even more withdrawn. One-on-one, we managed to bond but even still she was passive, answering the question "What do you want to do?" with a submissive, "I don't know. Whatever you want."
She couldn't swim very well, and for me, a girl who had grown up on the lake, the news was devastating. Within the week of the trip, I had taught her my technique of treading water and helped her become more comfortable with swimming in general, though she stubbornly refused to stop plugging her nose when she submerged.
For the rest of the summer, we played together nearly everyday. I taught her to be more assertive in expressing her thoughts and feelings and by the time school started, her acne had begun to clear up. In school, we clung to each other like a lifeline while we grew more accustomed to Middle School life.
Half way through the year, she started dating, something I have never been able to understand. What is the point of dating in Middle School? All it means is that you tentatively hold hands in the hallway and give each other embarrassing kisses on the cheek while your friends look on and giggle. What is he going to do, pick you up on his bicycle and peddle to the movie theater while you sit in the basket? Real romantic. To top it off, the boy she dated looked to be about 4 years older, and I had this feeling he was bad news, somehow. I didn't say anything, however. Who and when she dated was her business and it was not worth having our first fight over. Eventually she realized all was not right in paradise and they broke up; he had been dating 7 other girls during their relationship.
Every weekend, we would have a sleepover and play Harry Potter. We found strait sticks and pretended they were wands, we made working quills with our own homemade ink and parchment, we got broomsticks and played a game of Quidditch in her back yard, we wrote Harry Potter fan fiction. Everything we talked about, when it wasn't school or idle chitchat, was Harry Potter-based to some degree. We had inside jokes, recited entire pages from the books, made up songs, memorized every spell from the book we could find so we could use them in our games, and since we couldn't speak Parceltounge, we made up our own language, both written and spoken so that if anyone managed to decipher our secrete code, they would have a job translating what any of it meant. When the movies started coming out in theaters, we went opening day to see it and promised to do so for every movie.
In eighth and ninth grade, she dated a boy who I didn't like from the start. When he was younger, he had suffered from extreme ADD and had anger issues, something I learned the hard way when he punched me in the sternum for turning on the lights when he wanted them off. Five years later, and I still hadn't forgiven him. This grudge of mine caused some turbulence in hers and my friendship until I finally decided to drop it. By the end of ninth grade, he moved away and they broke up.
Years passed and she continued to date. Boys matured into guys and I no longer saw dating as foolish; though I never dated myself, it now made sense to be asked out, seeing as we started to get our driving permits and licenses. I eventually learned how her ex-boyfriend had tried to go further with the relationship, sometimes pushing her to the point where she had to smack him away.
"If any guy tries to do that to me again, I'm going to smack him twice as hard," she declared while I laughed at boys' stupidity.
"I'm saving myself for after I get married, and I wont let anyone touch me like that until then!"
"It's against the bible to have sex before marriage, and I've heard it hurts the first time. I want to make sure I have it with someone who loves me."
Know what else is against the bible? Witchcraft. "So I have decided to stop reading the Harry Potter books."
After that, conversations became awkward. What do you talk about when your entire friendship was founded on a book one of you refuses to read? Find another mutual book? She likes sappy love stories; I like action and adventure. She likes historical fiction, which I tried; I like fantasy and science fiction, which she refuses to read. When I made a reference to what was now the Series-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, her face would freeze and she would flat out state, "I don't remember that at all." Bull shit. How could she not remember the Hogwarts school song? How could she not remember who Voldemort or Sirius Black, or Hermione were? How could she not remember the inside joke we had spent countless hours laughing at? Had it all really meant that little to her, where she could forget it on a whim like she claimed she had? It was as if we had been playing Jenga the whole time and she suddenly took out two outer blocks at the very base so the entire structure teeters dangerously, threatening to collapse.
While we worked to rebuild our friendship, Edward began to work his way into the picture. They met in choir and she invited him to her sixteenth birthday party. I studied the new face and watched him flirt with every girl there at least once throughout the night. They were in the same choir together all of that year and by the end of tenth grade, they started dating.
I watched them pleasantly for the last month or so of that school year. They held hands through the hallways, kissing each other on the cheek when they parted for classes. I didn't mind; it was a new relationship, after all, and they weren't doing anything that made people around them uncomfortable.
That summer, I barely saw her at all. Edward was either always at her house, or she was at his. After two months of trying to hang out with her, I gave up, figuring she would call me if she got bored, which she did the week in August he went on a family trip.
When school started again, I didn't see very much of her either. Between classes, she was always in his classroom, waiting for the bell to ring. When it did, she would dash to her class, late and looking a little flushed. I teasingly- though slightly disapprovingly- pointed out to her that she was late for the same class every day, and she frowned in realization. The next day, I walked into the classroom to find Edward sitting in her chair, with her in his lap, one hand on her knee while the fingers of his other hand slid gently up and down her arm, every once in a while flicking under the sleeve of her t-shirt. She had her arms around his neck, foreheads touching while they talked privately in a public setting.
I was shocked. The position was so suggestive, far over the level of PDA allowed in school. What happened to my best friend? The shy girl who swore, not even a year before, she would never let someone touch her like that? She looked up as I approached, still smiling over something he had said, completely missing my unease. I caught her eye and questioningly flicked my gaze to the hand on her knee and back to her face. She shrugged, as if to say, "What can I do?" and looked away from me.
I felt my eyes harden as they locked eyes with Edward, who looked back at me with an odd sort of smile on his face. He pulled her almost possessively closer, his hand never hesitating in its gentle movement. What had he done to her to make her agree to such an intimate caress? She could be one of the most stubborn people I know, when she felt like it, yet the summer had made her almost submissive again, unable to look me in the eye when I silently questioned her. I let it go, but decided to keep an eye on them. I would talk to her when it bothered me enough.
I lasted about two weeks before I decided I couldn't take it anymore. They're actions made it impossible for me to be around them comfortably; they were acting more like new lovers than boyfriend and girlfriend. That afternoon, I made sure to sit next to her on the bus. "I want to talk to you," I had said.
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked innocently.
I looked at her incredulously. "Edward," I stated flatly. Tact had never been one of my strong points.
She continued to gaze at me, her wide-eyed innocence now frozen in place, almost as if she knew what was coming.
"You are too close to him," I told her. Remember what I said about tact? "The way you are always together, your ten-minute long make-out sessions in the hallway, he is touching your knee, for crying out loud! What happened to the Bella I used to know?"
"You're right. He… I've tried getting him to stop," she said, more to her hands than to anyone on the bus. "I kept pushing his hand away, but after a while, I got tired of having to do it so often."
"Well keep doing it!" I told her adamantly. "You can't let him do that. If it makes you uncomfortable, tell him to stop."
"I know... I did. I have. I guess I'm just used to it by now."
"Well, it makes me uncomfortable having to see it. Please, can you two just back off? Talk to him about it, ask him to keep his hands to himself when you guys are in public."
She nodded and said quietly, "You're right. I'll talk to him about it tomorrow or something."
I checked to see where we were and saw we were close to her stop. "Bella, if you let him, he will keep pressing you. Pretty soon, he will be touching your thigh, or even your chest."
The bus slowed to a stop and she stood up. "I'll talk to him," she promised.
A day passed, and then a month. They're behavior changed, but in completely the opposite direction, much to my chagrin. His hand had stopped touching her knee, it was true, but instead found the spot a couple of inches higher on her thigh to rest instead. There were occasional times where they could be seen apart, and at those times I jumped on the chance to talk to her freely.
"-It spilled completely down my front, almost the entire cone right in my bra-" As I talked, I spotted Edward over her shoulder, tip-toeing towards us as if he intended to surprise her. "Of course, it was freezing cold and-" He wrapped his around her stomach and I rolled my eyes. He probably thought it was romantic or something. Unfortunately, so did she. Without even letting me finish my sentence, let alone my story, she turned around, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
In an attempt to show how rude they were being, I ignored the action and continued with my story. "It was too cold to just leave there, you know? Bella, are you listening?" My voice trailed away as they pulled away from each other and continued a whispered conversation they must have been having earlier, for their foreheads were touching and she giggled silently, twirling her finger in his hair as he spoke, before allowing herself to be pulled into a hug.
I glared at them, angry with them both for dismissing me like they had. I had been in the middle of a story! The middle of a sentence, when they had withdrawn into their own little world! I had been wanting to tell her the story all day, knowing she would get a kick out of it, even if it had been at my expense, and now she wasn't even paying me the slightest bit of attention. I could sort of understand this kind of behavior in a new relationship, even if I had never been in one myself, but they had been dating for nearly six months! It was time for them to get over themselves. Over her shoulder, Edward wore a creepy smile, one that either said, "I am touching your best friend and there is nothing you can do about it," or "This is what I want to be doing to you."
Her birthday being so close to Halloween, she usually had a Halloween birthday party, and her seventeenth birthday was no exception. I arrived at the party early, to help her with the decorations like I had for the past five years. My specialty was the giant spider webs she always had decorating the corners of her basement.
Guests arrived, and we made a circle in the basement, filling up the chairs, couch, and floor while we chitchatted happily. All except the birthday girl and her boyfriend, who were making out on the couch, practically horizontal on top of each other. It wouldn't have been so bad, had they not been the only couple there. And being the birthday girl, her other guests could not really do anything except make small talk, trying to ignore the roaming hands of Edward. Finally, I had had enough.
"BELLA!" I shouted.
The make-out session paused momentarily while they both looked at me. Into the silence, I said, "Get out from under him and let's play a game. Where did Catch Phrase go?"
The game was fun. We played for about forty-five minutes before we decided as a group we were bored. Immediately after, Edward and Bella had wound up cuddling on the couch again, giving chaste kisses, and leaving the rest of us to continue our idle conversation. Determined not to let them start up again, I got up off my chair, walked over to the couch, and sat down in their lap, wiggling until I had wedged myself safely between them.
"How about some music?" someone suggested.
Getting off the couch, Bella turned on her radio, found a station, and sat back down, neither of them trying to move around me to touch. Seeing this as progress, I allowed myself to focus on the conversation around me, leaning forward to see the speakers better and adding in my own comments where I could. After a few minutes, I sensed movement behind me and I turned to see the couple literally kissing behind my back. I leaned back quickly, forcing them to either move or have their heads crushed. They moved.
There was a few minutes scramble while the two tried to find a way to reach around me while I tried to prevent it, until finally Edward got up and moved to the floor, beckoning her to follow. She did, and I stayed stubbornly on the couch, deciding to guard the most comfortable make-out area instead of moving to follow like a puppy craving attention. Besides, it would take them a few minutes to get them in the 'mood' again.
After a while, conversation picked up again, but only for a few minutes before dieing down as Edward began to sing:
"Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new;
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more;
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time;
When I look at what my life's been comin' to;
I'm all about lovin' you."
He closed his eyes part of the way through it, using hand motions to really get into it while his usually good voice clashed horribly with the song floating from the radio.
Unable to take any more of it, I moved off the couch and took my place between the couple once again, putting my arms around their shoulders and sung above Edward's voice:
"The more we get together, together, together;
The more we get together the happier we'll be."
I motioned for the other guests to join me and a few added themselves into the circle.
"Cuz your friends are my friends;
And my friends are your friends;
The more we get together, the happier we'll be."
By the time I finished my song, a few of the others had joined in while the rest looked on in amusement, Edward had given up trying to be romantic for the moment, and Bella looked as though she had been cheated out of a real treat.
After that, we all decided to move outside. Bella stopped me on the way out the door.
"Stop it. Stop trying to get between me and Edward. This is my birthday party," she said, pleading with her eyes while still managing to look angry.
"And there is more than one guest here tonight. Start acting like a host and stop acting like a sideshow. We are all here for you, Bella, but you seem to be here for Edward."
From the bus window, I watched Edward hand her something before the two exchanged a good-bye kiss and pulled apart, sharing the same longing look as she boarded the bus and sat down next to me.
"What's that?" I asked pointedly, hoping to god it wasn't what I thought it was. Unfortunately, I was right.
"It's a walky-talky. Edward gave it to me so we can talk over the break," she answered dreamily as the gadget squawked. Her expression changed to confusion as she answered with a "Hello?"
"How's it going?" his voice asked over the speaker. "I miss you."
I scowled. They had just parted not five seconds before and already he was using the thing. Pathetic.
Either she caught my expression, or was thinking along the same lines as I was. "I miss you too. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Alright," the voice replied and stopped talking all together.
"We wont see each other at all over Thanksgiving break," she explained, turning the walky-talky off. "He wanted to be able to talk to me whenever he wanted."
"It's called a phone." And somehow, I doubted the range reached across the fifteen miles that separated their houses.
She shrugged dismissively and changed the subject. "Why are you so against us?"
I allowed her to turn the subject to me, but refused to let it stick. "Its not you, per say. It's they way you are together. I was uncomfortable with him touching you knee, and now he's touching the inside of your thigh! I honestly do not like being around you two anymore, and since you're always with him, it's beginning to mean I can't stand being around you. I mean, if you are letting him touch you like this in public, I have no idea what to think when you are in privet." I looked her right in the eye, allowing her to see the turmoil I was feeling. "I thought you were going to talk to him, Bella. I can't stand seeing you act like this. You didn't allow this with any of your other boyfriends. Why is Edward any different?"
She looked down at her hands again. "Edward is a gentleman. He wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to."
"But don't you see?" I pleaded silently with her to understand. "You started out not wanting him to touch your knee. But he kept pushing you until you got tired and allowed it. Once he could touch you there, he pushed to touch you a little more. And what about if you find yourself in a dark room with him one of these days? You may find yourself wanting more, and he will be more than willing to comply, being the gentleman that he is."
"I would never do that!" she stated fiercely, scandalized that I would even suggest such a thing.
"You said the same thing about letting him touch your leg," I pointed out bluntly. "Your relationship is getting out of hand and you know it. You need to step back from each other before it is too late. I'm not saying break up," I added hastily, "I'm just saying back up. Go back to holding hands and kissing on the cheek. Cool down a bit and think about things before you go any further."
Her shoulders slumped. "You're right. We are too close. I'll talk to him after break."
Months passed. The two of them could be seen at the pep rally lunch, secluded in a corner, away from their friends, feeding each other bits of taco with their fingers. By this time, the entire school thought she was pregnant because of the way he was constantly stroking her stomach under her clothes. She continued to insist they had never had sex.
I couldn't take it any more. The sudden realization had swayed me too much to keep up this charade. Picking up my shoes and purse, I walked out of the ballroom. My hair, which had started out the evening completely strait, had fluffed a bit during the night and trailed behind me in the air as I walked out to the large hall of the Prom Center where I collapsed behind a pillar, my dress poofing around me and, without warning, I burst into tears. I had lost my best friend.
"Now is not the best time, Jess."
"I know, but I wont get another chance. I need to talk with you."
"We can talk tomorrow."
That made me snap. "When?" I demanded. "When are you ever alone? Between classes? No, you're with him. During lunch? I'm in class. After school? You are with him. The only time I have to talk to you privately anymore is on the bus!"
"Jess, I don't feel well."
"Good! Then I'll talk and you can just listen. For the past year, I've been trying to accept your and Edward's relationship. But all of your touching makes me uncomfortable, so uncomfortable I cannot stand to be around you. When I asked you to stop, did you? No, you didn't."
"Yes I did!" she snapped. "We have been much better lately."
"What, do you spontaneously worsen when I'm around, then? Are you better right up until I get there and suddenly revert back to old habits? Because I haven't seen any change at all!"
"We've gotten better," she insisted angrily.
"No, I've asked you to back off and every time you have been all, 'Of course, Jess. You're right, we are too close.' But then nothing happens! Bella, this isn't you."
"Yes it is!" she interrupted heatedly. "Jess, what is your problem? You are the only person who is on my back about it."
"Then I am the only person who cares enough about you to say anything. The others all agree with me, they just don't care enough to comment."
"They do not," she said quietly.
"Is there anyone who calls the two of you cute?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes," she answered in a superior voice.
"Well then mark them," I told her fiercely, "because they are probably the ones sleeping around. If you talk to anyone else, they all agree with me. Bella, if you want the rumors about the two of you to stop, stop acting like lovers. If I didn't know you better, I would honestly think that you were having-."
"We've gotten better," she interrupted. "Edward is my boyfriend-"
"And I'm your best friend! You haven't done anything to make this easier where as I practically bent over backwards for you."
"No you didn't-"
"Yes I did! I didn't like the boy you dated in 6th grade, but I tolerated him because you cared for him. I forgave your boyfriend in seventh grade for punching me, even though I wanted to hang on to that grudge for the rest of my life, because you two were dating and I still wanted to be your friend. All I've asked for in return is to respect me enough to listen to what I have to say, and except that at least some of what I have to say may be the truth. In the end, my instincts were right and they all turned out to be slime balls. Why would I be wrong about this? About Edward? You can't see the forest beyond the trees, but I can. You've managed to estrange your best friend and spend absolutely no free time with your other friends- just with your boyfriend. This relationship of yours can become dangerous quickly and you may get to the point where you will feel like you have no where to go, no one to turn to."
"Please, Jess, can't we talk about this later?" The bus slowed and she readied herself to get up. "Maybe tomorrow. It's a Friday so we could have a sleepover and talk all we want."
"No," I said, my voice shaking as she stood up and looked at me. "I'm done talking. I cant anymore. We're done. After this, I'm gone."
Kids from the back were coming closer to where Bella was taking up the walkway and she was forced to start down the isle and climb down the stairs. When she was gone, I leaned my head against the window and let the tears that had been threatening to fall stream down my face while I breathed a sigh of sad relief.
I had been expecting something like this to happen. Not once had we ever had a major argument, and when a friendship is like that, one could expect the first to be the one to tear us apart. Like they say for the month of March: in like a lamb, out like a lion. We had completely understood each other in the beginning and I knew how high she had held her morals. I had watched her throughout that last year and a half as they slipped further and further the longer she was his girlfriend. She had refused to see how far she had fallen, and it was too painful for me to pursue the issue. In the end, the only way I could salvage what was left of our friendship was to call it off. She and Edward both graduated and are attending the same community college together. I wish them the best of luck and hope with all of my heart it works out for them.
Author's Note: So, what did you think? Did I manage to get my point across? Did you like it despite the unflattering picture it paints of the two? Please R&R, but no flames, please.
Oh, btw- the song Edward sings at the birthday party was just a random song I found by googling 'Love Songs' on the Internet. I don't know the tune- it was just supposed to be this really lame, soppy love song that really should have been saved for a 'private' moment. I stupidly did not make note of which song I chose or who the artist was.