Author Notes: I have writer's block right now so I wrote this to pass the time until an idea came for my other two stories. I think now would be the right time to post it. So enjoy this chapter and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy.
Story:
Ed of the World
"Come on Double D! You're holding us up!" Eddy yelled dressed in a purple jacket and afro wig. "The other guys are already down at the lane!"
"Candy, Double D!" Ed said running around in desperation. He too was dressed oddly. He wore green face paint and duck taped bolts on his neck.
"I'm ready." Double D said wearing several cardboard boxes in a way that made him look like a robot.
"Come on, sockhead! Were late!" Eddy persisted.
They all quickly ran to a dirt road near the cul-de-sac.
Why are they dressed this way? And why are they in a hurry? Simple. It's Halloween!
"Eddy, slow down!" Edd called. "These boxes are interrupting my lower leg momentum, thereby-"
"Quit whining, will ya!" He snapped. "If you guys don't hurry up we'll be late!"
"Late for what?" Double D questioned.
"They're holding some kinda shindig at the lane! Ed has the invite!" Eddy answered as Ed took out a black and orange card with several pumpkins and a piece of gunk on the edge.
"Read to me the pretty card, Double D." Ed asked as Edd removed the gunk as he read:
Congratulations
You have been invited to the Cul-Dec-Sac Candy Hunt.
Meet at the lane by 6:00 on Halloween Night.
Kevin
"Kevin?" Edd said in disbelief. "Kevin invited us?"
"Nope." Eddy answered. "We found it on floor after gym."
"On the floor!" Edd yelled. "We are going to an event to which we weren't admitted to?!"
"Yep." Eddy answered as he stopped them at the fence before the lane. "Ok, now Double D I want you to-"
"CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!" Ed yelled as he belly flopped into the small group of kids.
They both stared as the group circled around Ed, who had just made a large hole in the ground.
"Nice job Ed." Eddy said sarcastically as he and Double D walked over to the group.
A boy in a red cap and wizard's robe looked down at Ed as he got out of the hole and proceeded to roll around and laugh carelessly. "Great it's Dorkenstein. That can only mean one thing," He said as he turned to Edd and Eddy. "You dorks weren't invited."
Eddy pushed him aside, "Well us dorks are going to win this candy hunt."
"Why should I-" Kevin started before Nazz cut him off.
"Come on Kevin," She said in a knight outfit, "The more the merrier, right?"
"Fine." Kevin sighed in defeat. He looked around for to if everyone came, "Where's Rolf?"
"He's out picking mushrooms." Jimmy, in a UFO, outfit responded.
"Okay, now for the rules," Kevin said as Jonny, dressed as a giant acorn, took out a piece of paper.
"The rules for the 1st Annual Cul-De-Sac Candy Hunt are as follows: 1) You go around the houses of the Cul-De-Sac collecting candy. The kid with the most candy by 12:00 midnight wins. 2) You can not steal anyone's candy. 3) You can't use candy from your own home. 4) The one with the most candy not only wins, but also gets a free chocolate jawbreaker and gets half of each kid's candy. 5) One or more kid can combine their candy supplies to get more candy." Jonny read.
"Sounds interesting." Double D commented.
"Half of the other kids' candy!" Eddy shrieked.
"Like it or lump it!" Sarah, dressed as angel, yelled.
"Then we'll just have to win." Eddy said deviously.
Kevin got in the middle of the group, "On 3"
Double D looked at everyone in group, "Let's see, Sarah's dressed as an angel, Jonny as giant acorn, Jimmy as a UFO, Nazz is in a knight's suit of armor, and Kevin as a wizard. All of which have features that will constrict them in overall speed. We should have a slight advantage."
"1…"
"If we pool together all of our resources we should win." He continued.
"2…" Kevin looked around to see everyone prepared, "3! GO!"
They all grabbed their bags and sprinted for the nearest house.
Edd followed Ed and Eddy, "By my calculations, due to the fact that we have approximately 6 hours to collect candy, and we can also pool together our resources, thus I think we can-"
"IN ENGLISH!" Eddy shouted.
"If we work together we'll win!" He responded.
Eddy stopped right on the driveway of a house, "Watch and learn guys. Once I get up there, they'll give me all the candy their worth."
They watched as Eddy knocked on the door. "Do you think he'll be okay?" Double D asked.
"Candy, candy, candy." Ed kept repeating.
"HELP ME!" Eddy called as he ran away from the house with several bricks and various other objects being thrown at him.
"Eddy, what did you do?!" Double D asked.
"They were giving out apples instead of candy! So I asked if they had any candy to give out, and they said no. So I said they were stupid! It's Halloween for crying out loud!"
2 hours later
"We tried everywhere!" Eddy cried as Ed sat down making several crunching noises, "The other kids could have hordes of candy by now!"
"Well," Edd started, "look at the bright side, at least we won't get cavities-" He stopped when he noticed Ed taking handfuls of candy from his bag and shoving them into his mouth, wrapper and all.
"Um, Ed, where did you procure that quantity of candy?" He asked.
"A guy in that house gave it to me." Ed answered, spewing candy bits all over them.
"Quit eating all!" Eddy scolded as he slapped him in the back in the head. "We need those to win, lumpy!"
"Does he have any more Ed?" Double D asked.
"But this was all he had!" Ed said.
"That's just great!" Edd said.
They both glanced over to Eddy who was laughing manically and somewhat disturbingly.
"Eddy, I don't like it when you laugh like that." Edd said.
"Eddy has a plan!" Ed shouted in glee.
"You bet I do, lumpy!" Eddy said jumping atop Ed's head. "I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before!"
"What Eddy?" Ed asked.
"My brother's secret candy horde!" Eddy yelled dragging Ed to his house with Edd following behind.
"Isn't that cheating, taking someone else's candy?" Edd asked.
"The rules never said a jingle about Eddy's brother!" Ed said.
"For once you bring up a point Ed," Double D said, "But I can't help thinking that something will go horribly wrong that will end us up in dead last."
"Oh please," Eddy said, "This is a fanfic, not a TV episode."
They proceeded down the hallway towards Eddy's brother's room.
"Um, Eddy," Edd said as he noticed the door had been replaced and several new locks were put on it," how are we to get in without the use of the keys or that crowbar-" He stopped dead sentence when he saw Eddy grabbed Ed by the ankles and then ram the door with his head until it broke.
"Doesn't that hurt Ed?" Double D asked.
"Nope, I don't feel a thing, Double D." Ed answered.
They entered the room and started searching.
"What are we searching for again?" Ed asked.
"A map, stupid!" Eddy yelled.
Double D walked over to the stuffed camel. "Perhaps he hid it behind a leg," He suggested.
Then there was loud cracking and ripping noises. Double D looked up to see the camel falling off its stand, and right on top of him!
"Great job." Eddy said.
"That's" Edd said after crawling out from under the beast of burden, "sarcastic, right?"
"No really," Eddy said holding up a piece of paper, "Look what I found in the leg!"
Both other Eds came closer as he opened the map. It showed a rough layout of the cul-de-sac with a winding line going to the woods, and past the trailer park.
"There it is guys!" Ed shouted.
"Oh my," Double D said.
"What?" The other two asked in unison.
'Look," He answered by pointing the trailer park.
They all silently stared at map. There was more silence. Dead silence. It felt as if the world was to end at this very hour.
"KANKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They all yelled as they immediately ran to their homes to prepare… Or hide.
Half hour later
"Ready, Eddy?" Edd asked.
"Yep." He answered. "Me and Ed got some sacks for all the candy."
"Well, let's go!" Double D said. "And to hopes that the Kankers don't kill us!"
"You really think that something bad is gonna happen, don't ya?" Eddy asked.
"'Cause he's got personal experience!" Ed shouted in his usual glee.
Edd stared at him oddly, "He's getting more intelligent every day, I swear."
"I know!" Eddy agreed. "Must be an Ed thing."
They headed through the forest, as per the map's line.
"Hey, look!" Ed shouted. "It's Rolf!"
True to Ed's words, Rolf was picking several mushrooms in the clearing and throwing them into a basket.
"Hiya Rolf!" Ed greeted.
"Oh! Hello Ed boys!" Rolf said continuing to pick mushrooms.
"What's the scythe for, Rolfyboy?" Eddy asked pointing to a scythe and cloak on the ground near Rolf.
Rolf eyed the scythe and seemed to grow a bit tense, "It for the mushrooms. Sometimes Rolf must cut the stems."
"What's with the cloak?" Ed asked as he grabbed it and put it around himself. "Look! I'm Death!"
"That is to cover Rolf from cold!" He shrilled as he ripped it off Ed. "Now leave Rolf's presence!"
They all ran from the clearing and deeper into the forest.
"Didn't Rolf seem a bit tense about that scythe and cloak?" Edd spoke aloud.
"So what?" Eddy said. "Candy horde, here we come!"
Author's Notes: So how do you like it? Is it humorous enough to be called Ed, Edd, n Eddy? Oh yeah, you'll see why Rolf was tense about that cloak. R&R.