It's always raining in my head, a life with derek fanfic

This is a challenge, flash fic request by Moonlit-Jeannie because I was awesome with my luck and got her. :smiles:

Here was the choice I chose: Marti future fic (angst with dark/bitter humour) including Marti in a love triangle... with a boy and a girl (boy can be Dimi or an OC that's Marti's age... or even someone like Sam, Ralph, Sheldon, Derek who is older...), Marti being in the middle. Mention of a pink elephant and Superman ice cream.

So, now you'll know what is to be expected, although it is a little strong on the language and I'm not sure if T cuts it so BE CAREFUL!

Review if you can, sorry if it's not up to snuff-I have like 11 other stories to do, hah, I suck but enjoy.

Look up from that book, from the game, from your little fairytale land where the pretty, pretty lights guide you down a long, endless road and-

Open

Your

Eyes

You're not alone.

The whole world is out there. Right before you. He's waited for you…

All he's ever done-is waiting for you.

Till this day, he's still waiting.

Marti…

Silver wind; was there ever such a thing? It looked as though there was as it swept through her hair.

Marti…

The sky's gray.

Marti…

The day's cold.

Marti…

She's all alone, now.

"SMARTI!"

"I'm going out with Dimi tonight, Dad, tell Nora not to wait up! See ya later!"

Dressed in an attire fitting a queen, random jewelry art accessories adorning her form, purple-being the prime color for tonight, an 18 year old Marti walked pass her father with little to no regard as she made her claim and headed for the door.

"Now wait one moment there, your brother is coming for a visit any minute now; don't you want to stay to at least greet him?" George, old now, hair white and body aching-he could thank the fast food for that, stood slump in his chair, besides his word of protest there was nothing stopping Marti from leaving the house and going on the aforementioned date.

But she still stops.

And something still prickles at the side of her eyes.

Miserable, she mutters, "I'll say hi if I see him later."

And the door closes behind her, a father sighing in her wake.

He's 28 now, finished with college and actually participating in a league for hockey. He hasn't become a pro yet and he frets about this every day, wondering when his bones are going to give out on him or if he's going to have enough time to start Pro League with a full set of teeth before they get knocked out.

"How's you're girlfriend doing, Derek? When you going to settle down now, eh?" George is grinning, happy to have his son in front of him and the hand clasped over the younger, firmer hand is tight with worry and yearning for a family again because they really don't have much left besides this moment.

"I don't know, really not something I'm thinking about at the moment…" their joined then, by Nora who's so beaten and tired Derek doesn't hide the small grimace that joins his soft eyes when greeting her.

"Derek, how good of you to come."

"No need to be so pleasant, how are you?" She nods and takes a seat beside George and when she places her hand upon her husband's shoulder Derek takes this as a sign to leave.

"It was nice catching up, however short the meeting." He nods to them both, individually.

"Give my love to them, please."

Her voice is fleeting and Derek nods when he picks up the bundle of flowers he came in with.

"I will. I will for the both of you."

He leaves then, an umbrella opened and hovering over his head, he thinks he wouldn't mind the rain so much as it is now-the day calls for such misery to rain down upon him, but it's only a slight rain-a drizzle really, and he only likes it when it's pouring and the sheer strength of the rain is to hard pressed against you, you think you'll submit any minute now and drown in the morbid beauty of it all.

He keeps the umbrella over his head.

"Marti…isn't today…well, shouldn't you be home?" She laughs and waves her boyfriend's concerns to the wind with a flick of the hand.

"Oh, details. It's the thought that counts."

"Marti…" and there's a hint of disappointment and disdain in his voice. She jumps on him and squeals for a piggy back ride and he eyes her warily, knowing full well when this date comes about all that growing up Marti had to do disappears promptly and is replaced with the childlike form she was the epitome for when he first met her, oh so years ago.

After all, the amount of optimism/childlike wonder a person has is directly proportional to the amount of horrible stuff that happens to them.

Marti simply embodies that theory.

"Let's go to the arcade!! Who cares if it's raining?! Yeah! And we can play for hours until you have enough tickets to get me that pink elephant I was eyeing last year!"

Last year…

The boy frowns, because it was the same last year, and the year before that, and the year before that and quite possibly for many more years to come.

"The elephant might be gone by now, Marti. Or out of circulation."

"Wow, Dimi!" Her lips make a big "O" form and her eyes are filled with childlike mirth, she's returned to that state and she's poking him at the sides and giggling when he tries to scoot away from her prying hands. "You sure are smart! Talking big and all that! Come on, come on, pizza and games await!"

Zooming off and ahead, the dark boy places his hands in his pants pocket and moves slowly after her, he watches her, ever observant like every year and he watches how sometimes, when she smiles, it's more like she's crying.

"Oh, hello Ms. Venturi, up for another game day? We've missed you." Marti smiles at the familiar face and hands the man her coat, she has her own personal storage space.

"Yup! Great to see ya again Mickey, I'll come around later to get a coke, but for now-to the pinball machines!!!" She marches off, saluting random people who look at her amusingly and Dimi nods at Mickey as they exchange an understanding, once more.

I'm sorry

It seems like hours have gone by and they haven't gotten anywhere, she's complaining she's full and about to puke-too much pizza, and he asks her, "Do you want to go home?" but she refuses, she'll wait till midnight if she has to.

"Listen, Marti…I have to get home early today, sleep you know? I have an exam tomorrow…" he trails off because her cheeks are puffy and her eyes are swollen and oh god, she's crying and if there's one thing Dimi hates most in the world, it's seeing Marti cry.

He holds her, cradles her and whispers soothing words but nothing is getting through-nothing ever gets through and so he continues his ministrations until Mickey comes up personally.

"I'm sorry, we're closing."

And so she gets in his car, in the back "Little girls shouldn't be riding in the front."

Accidents happen, try to save the youngest ones first

And they drive to her home and he drops her off with a kiss but she's pulling and tugging and giggling and saying "Ew, coodies." And it's her way of saying.

Don't leave me.

Because she's afraid to face him because it'll remind her of them.

So, he kisses her once more and follows her in through the house and George is surprised to see her, its only 11:30 pm and he goes to hug her and she pretends to be oblivious-ignorant, as she runs up to the weeping step-mother and she asks and asks-

"Nora! Nora! What's wrong?" But there's never any answer and then the door opens and he comes trudging in, seemingly unaffected by the world and its forces of nature but when he sees her, he's stunned still and she drops her grip on Nora's increasingly cold arm and she's silent, watching him like a hawk, her eyes hollow, skin deathly pale and then he coughs to interrupt the tension.

Dimi shifts from one foot to the other before he extends his hand.

"Hey, man."

"What's up, treating my little sister nice?" He nods and then breaks the handshake. "Good. Only the best for Marti, I trust you're it. Don't make her cry or you'll have to pay."

And Dimi wants to laugh and retort with an obnoxious tone, quite the hypocrite, aren't you? But he holds his lips tightly firm together and Derek's eyes glint with approval because this was a test, deciphering those he can and cannot trust and guess what?

Dimi just passed.

"Smerek."

And it's a whisper and pleading with such…unbelievable, inexplicable emotion he's loosening his tie just to breathe.

"Smarti…"

And those words alone send her down memory lane and cause the trees to hit the window firmly, the rain to increase it's strength, and the tears that were hidden all this time, to finally, finally make their way down her pearly, fair skin.

It was their fault they were dead.

"Smarti…wait, I think I hear something…"

"Deeeewwwek…oh come on, it's nothing-you're just feeling guilty-god knows why though, after all this time you'd think you'd get use-"

He groans in need and pushes up against her and deftly moves her hand up and down her hips and across her stomach and in between her thighs and she cries out in pleasure and there is something in the back of her mind warning her, the floors don't creak unless something is moving, but she's too wrapped up in their sinful pleasuring of one another so she pushes it to the side and concentrates on undoing his pant's buckle.

The floor creaks again.

"Derek…" there's a drawl in the usual Casey manner before she continues and the door is pushed open before they can part.

"Edwin says he left something in your…"

Chocked gasp, wanting to scream, too much to comprehend-

Run!

- and she's running out before he can scream her name to stop.

"Shit, shit, shit!" he curses as he buttons up and runs after Casey, Marti is running behind him but stops when the phone rings, the loud bang of the door being thrown against the wall causes her to flinch before she picks it up hastily.

"McDonald/Venturi Residence…" she's panting and her father is on the other side asking how everything is going but all she hears is the loud buzzing in her ear and she wants to scream out, STOP! "I gotta call you back, dad." And she hangs up, just in time to see Derek come back in, distraught and horrified.

"De-"

"Don't touch me!" He storms off, up the stairs and she knows Casey had just driven off, Lizzie and Edwin in the back, and he had been unable to stop her.

Would she tell the others what she saw?

Hands trembling she steadies herself upon the banister of the stairs and as she makes her way to her room, Casey's old room, all to herself, she hesitates when seeing his door open, even though it's really Edwin's now and she goes in slowly.

His hands are reaching for her.

She goes to him willingly.

Lying beside him, she knows this will be her last time, the last time with her brother, her lover, her everything. He holds her tight and there is nothing but silence between them, a silent understanding of what has happened and what will, inevitably happen.

She doesn't remember when she fell asleep but she remembers the rude awakening. Apparently the phone had rung a total of 18 times and only when the knock to the door, shiny blue, white and red lights from outside bouncing off the walls within Derek's old rooms accompanying the sound, was when Marti awoke with Derek still holding her within his arms.

She calls out his name sleepily and then realization hits and she's scared, they have come for them and she's shaking him and she's frantic and- "Oh my god, Derek, the cops! She told, she told! Derek!"

But they didn't come for her or him or for them and their secret…

And she hates herself for feeling the slightest bit relieved.

"Is the owners of the house here, Mr. and Mrs. McDonald Venturi?" Such a serious and depressing face, she thinks upon seeing them and before she can say 'no' Derek is saying that he's charge of the house at the moment and whatever news that needs to be relay can be given to him.

"Are you the eldest of the family?" Derek scoffs, isn't it obvious? He's twenty-six for Christ sake. "Are you a member of the family, sir."

"Yes! For crying out loud, now what is it! How can you stand there with obvious horrifying news and keep it from us when it's obviously affecting us!" One cop looked to the other and after receiving a nod from his partner, took a step forward and placed a hand gently on Derek's shoulder.

"Son, I'm sorry. There was an accident…"

Nothing but a blur

She doesn't remember anything after that, only the stiff nod from Derek to them, the close of the door and the crumbling of her form.

Not soon after, he picks her up and carries her gently up the stairs; laying her down upon his bed he kisses her softly.

Goodbye, my sweet angel

The next thing she knows, she's wearing black and watching as they lay to rest three lives she was personally responsible for.

Because she was selfish.

I won't share him! He's mine and only mine! Casey can't have him!

Because she wanted more out of nothing.

I don't care! I love you! I love you! I love-

Because she needed to feel and in turn? It killed them.

Are you sure?

It killed her too.

"I'm going to go…Marti, I'll see you this weekend." Because Dimi knows the name of the game, and it'll be a full week before he sees her again. She nods, disconnected, her eyes only seeing him and George doesn't know what to do and Nora honest to god doesn't care-so, the man of the house walks over to his wife and eases her up.

"Be good you two, and try to get along-at least for whatever few minutes is left within this day…I don't know what happened to the both of you. You use to be…"

"George" the elder woman croaks out. "Leave them be, take me to my room." Because she doesn't sleep beside him on these nights and he's fine with that, he's just fine.

"Sure thing, dear." As he helps her down the stairs to the basement room, they know they don't have long till George will reemerge and so like a moth of the flame, waiting to be burned, they walked towards one another and embrace.

They don't know!

"Marti…Marti-what's happen to you, where's my little sister?"

And she wants to scream and hit and cry but she doesn't, no-she dares not, she only holds fast and bites her bottom lip as a response and he sighs and holds her tight and then he arches his head up to look at the ceiling because he's wondering where it all went wrong.

Maybe when you were fucking your own little sister

"Derek."

He lets go of her and they stand at opposite ends of one another even though they are mere feet apart.

"Was it raining that day, just like today, when we put them in the ground?"

Such tactlessness.

"What does it fucking matter whether or not it was raining Marti?! It's always raining when you bury those you love!"

"You…loved her…?"

"Didn't you?!" He fires back and it's so hard to breathe but she nods nonetheless, he knows she's asking about that other kind of love, the love only reserved for her and her alone but he sidesteps this and sits down, inhales the house, it's memories and her, most of all and then looks at her as though for the first time.

"I did, Marti…very much, Edwin and Lizzie too…just like you. Don't you miss them? Don't you feel horrible…I feel so…I feel as thought it should have been me Marti, me and not them-they were the innocents…whereas I?"

He chuckles darkly.

"I'm a sinner in more ways than anyone can ever fathom." He shuts his eyes and bangs his head against the kitchen floorboard on top the island of the all too familiar home. He's like this for a moment, crying on the inside, retching sobs on the out before small, soft hands find their way on his own and they squeeze his limp fingers and her body is pressed up against his back and her cheek falls upon his own and she rubs her face against him and she murmurs…

"Was it a sin to love? To love someone so much there was no controlling it? Was it really such a sin…that it caused the lives of those we held dear to…" she pauses. "I think about it every day. You're not the only one, Derek."

He moves and she falls back but is caught when he envelopes her within a strong, needing embrace, he's crying now and she wants to, too, but she doesn't-maybe tomorrow she can and he can cold her then but as of right now, for once in her life, she needs to be the strong one.

She soothingly runs her hands through his hair and she whispers words she knows will not help but she continues regardless and when the creak from the steps below warn them to move apart, they do so this time, hurtful memories being their sole reminder of what consequences lie before them if they don't.

"You two okay?"

"Yeah dad, we're fine."

"Alright, I think I'm going to head off to bed-I'm glad you're okay Marti, I'm sure they would have been happy to see you back to your old self." He kisses his daughter's stoic form and waves half-heartedly at Derek as a gesture of goodnight before stalking off, turning off the living room light on his way.

The darkness surrounds them.

"Do you think she would have understood?"

"Not in a million years."

Silence ensues before a move is made on his part to leave, he thinks he'll rent a motel room tonight, anything to stay away from her but he's stopped by her voice-a voice he could never resist.

"Derek. Is it wrong that…"

"Don't say it."

"Okay, but only if you promise to get me a Superman Ice cream tomorrow." He doesn't laugh, she hates this, he always laugh at her half-hearted attempts to make a joke. Feet shuffling on the floor, on the right leg-now on the left, a moment passes.

She moves to kiss him but he turns away. "Enough's enough Marti!" but he's kissing her anyways, initiating it and running his hands down the side of her and he's forceful and ignorant to their surrounding and when he haphazardly carries her up the steps and to the all too familiar bedroom, he stops.

She's on the bed and ready for him but he can see the reluctance, the doubt.

Will someone die again, because of this?

He moves on top of her and she receives him easily, as though she was perfectly fitted and made just for him and when he calls out her name-Marti!-her hands cup the sides of his face and their eyes connect.

"No."

Hard panting, small smacking, the lights are off and they can't see each other.

"Tonight, I'm Casey."

Sorry for the total failure of this fic, but review anyways. It came out darker and well, dirtier than I anticipated.