Secrets I've kept locked away

You don't know me. Or maybe you do. It doesn't matter either way I just need you to listen. If I don't let this all out I think I'll explode.

I've never done this before. Normally I would just keep it all bottled up inside, that's what I've done in the past. That may seem cowardly to you. Fine I'm a coward. But that's been the only way I've been able to cope with everything that has happened.

But this is different. I can feel it slowly eating away inside of me. I just can't take it anymore.

The others don't know what it's like. None of them do. To like someone so much and to know that you'll never be with them. To see them everyday and be around them every minute that it hurts. But then being apart from them hurts as well. Just to be near them gives so much comfort and so much pain.

I know when she's happy. It's nothing as obvious as a smile or anything. No it's more then that. Her whole face seems to soften and just the smallest of sparkles light up in her eyes.

I know when she's sad. It's her eyes. Her whole face may have a deadpan appearance, but her eyes give it all away. Ok I admit it's the eyes that get me. There is just so much behind them that she is scared to show.

She has no idea how amazing she is. She so strong and beautiful and has way more courage then I could ever have. She's so powerful; she would defiantly beat me in a fight, she could wipe us out in and instant. That's part of the problem I guess.

We've been through so much. But being around her doesn't seem to be enough anymore.

She'll never know how I feel.

I know how she feels about me though. I'm just an annoyance to her, a pest. The funny thing is I know my jokes are lame and not really funny. It's just I hate seeing people unhappy, especially her. And I would do anything to make her happy, to make her laugh. And if that means telling stupid jokes all the time, I will keep on telling those stupid jokes for as long as it takes.

She keeps me going. Without her I don't know what I would do. She gives me a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to be happy. Without her I think I would just fall into nothing.

And even though I'll never be in her heart, she will always be in my heart.

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Sorry it's so short, this was just to unblock my writers block. Wasn't sure i was gonna put this up but hopefully you all liked. Please review cheers X