Summary: Dean's sick. Sam's worried. Banter and H/C ensues.
Warning: PG-13 for a teensy bit of language and mentions of pus.
A/N: I wrote this as a challenge to myself to write an entire fic as dialogue only. After all, the character voices are the most important thing in fanfic, and if I've got those wrong, then I should probably go play in another fandom. I realize this may put some of you off, but I think it worked out pretty well. If there's enough positive response to this, I might be convinced to repost it with the rest of the words written out. The lyrics are from the song "Forever," by Skid Row.
Disclaimer: Just dabbling where I don't belong. Please tell me there are no cats around this sand box.
An Earful
"Dean, you're sick."
"Hmmgh. I have a few kinks, but sick is relative, don't you think, Sammy?"
"Funny. Now try saying that without croaking like a frog. Just admit it. You're sick."
"Take your grubby paw off me, Sasquatch, and get your ass off my bedspread. I can't move."
"You have a fever. And you were snoring. You always snore when you're sick."
"I was dreaming about hot chicks, and I was gagging, not snoring. Your Dr.Scholls are past the expiration date. Could choke Swamp Thing with the jungle rot you're growing in those socks."
"You say that like you can actually smell anything breathing through your mouth."
"Can taste it."
"And I bet it tastes like snot, Jabba… What's that? Bantha poodoo? Oh, you want a tissue? Well, here ya go. Now blow."
"This is toilet paper. Cheap toilet paper."
"Cuz that's where it's going. A loogie that size ain't goin' in the trash can to mutate overnight. Now blow so you can breathe and I can get some sleep."
"Oooh, phlegm fetish, eh Sammy? Who's sick, now?"
"Shut up, Dean. And don't forget to spit."
"Knew I shoulda left your ass in time out."
"Dean? You all right in there?"
"Chill, dude. I've been potty-trained longer than you've been alive."
"Sure. Does that mean you need more newspapers to put down on the floor?"
"Bite me."
"(…)"
"Sam?"
"Yeah, Dean?"
"You can stop listening at the door. I'm fine."
"You're sick."
"Little sinus infection is all, and it's your non-stop supply of Gatorade that's got me in here in the first place."
"Sounds like you're choking."
"You're assuming I'm making those noises with my throat."
"Dude, TMI."
"Then stop listening at the friggin' door."
"Fine. I'm going. You hear that? It's me walking away. Just hurry up. And don't forget to light a match before you open the door."
"Dude! Hands! I swear, Sam, if you're that desperate for some touch, I'll give you fifty bucks and sleep in the car while you get yourself a nice…"
"Dean, shut up. It's not funny. You look like shit, and your fever's going up. I think it's more than a little sinus infection."
"(…)"
"Dean?"
"(…)"
"All right, now you're freaking me out. What aren't you telling me?"
"(…)"
"Dean? Where does it hurt, man?"
"ear…"
"What? You have to speak up. The little hand gesture isn't helping. I already know you're crazy."
"ear…"
"I'm sorry, man. I can't hear…"
"I have a friggin' earache, Sam! There! You happy now?"
"An earache? I thought you outgrew those?"
"I guess my sinus infection decided to move."
"That sucks."
"Thank you, Herr Apparent."
"Sorry."
"Dean, should you be out of bed?"
"Either that or Depends™. I changed your diapers, Sam, and I'm gonna be old and decrepit before you change mine… Shit!"
"Oops. Hold on there, I gotcha."
"(…)"
"I think maybe that infection is affecting your balance."
"Ya think?"
"Sorry."
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"If you're done slow-dancing, I think we should sashay toward the bathroom."
"You just came from there."
"Uh, yeah, but the thing about my balance being off?"
"Yeah?"
"Kinda got this whole room spinning scenario playing in my head."
"Better than what's normally playing in there."
"Sam?"
"Hmm?"
"Now!"
"Oh! Geez! Hold on!"
"(…)"
"Ehgh. That was my last clean pair of socks."
"Sorry."
"Not your fault… Dude? M&M's?"
"Just for the peanuts. Figured I could use the protein."
"Yeah, the Tidy Bowl man will appreciate the extra energy, I'm sure… You 'bout done?"
"God, I hope so."
"You and me both, my brother."
"Nnngh…"
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Just help me out a little here, mm'kay? Dean? C'mon, just lift your foot a little so I can get these sweats on you."
"Noooo. Don' wanna…"
"I know you don't want get up, but c'mon now. Dean, please, you gotta try. Your fever's spiking, and we're all out of the good meds. I'm taking you to see Joshua. Ellen says he can help, and she's going to meet us there. You'll like that, huh? Warm bed, someone who knows how to fix this?"
"(…)"
"Dean… I'm no good at this. I've done everything I can think of. I don't know what else to do. Now, c'mon… That's it. I gotcha. Let's get you dressed and loaded in the car."
"How you doin' over there? Want me to turn the heat up some more? 'Nother blanket?"
"(…)"
"Maybe I should pull over and help you lie down in the back."
"(…)"
"No? There's a rest stop up ahead. Want anything out of the vending machine? Coffee? M&M's?"
"(…)"
"Head really hurts, huh? Sorry we gotta drive into the sun. You keep sliding down so the visor doesn't help. If those glasses aren't dark enough, I can give you one of my hoodies? Huh? Pull it down over your head? Might help a little?"
"(…)"
"K, that teeth chattering can't be helping your headache any. I'm just gonna turn the heat up some more. If the fan's too loud… I dunno, I-I'll get you some ear plugs or something."
"nnnngghh."
"I know. We're almost there. Joshua can help. I promise."
"You want to WHAT?! No way, Josh. We might be broke and flying under the radar, but I'll take my chances on an ER before I'll let you stick a needle in his eardrum."
"How're you going to get him to an ER? He's got so much infection in his head, it hurts him to breathe. You think you can wrestle him into that car and just ignore him screaming all the way to the nearest hospital?"
"Give him something to knock him out."
"Look, Sam, I know this sounds barbaric, and it is a little outdated, but it's fast, and it's effective. We do this now, and it could all be over before a sedative would even have time to take effect. You really wanna help your brother, or just spare your stomach?"
"Josh… I can't believe you're asking me to do this."
"His fever's just going to climb until we get that infection out. Antibiotics won't work fast enough. Much longer, and we're looking at febrile seizures, maybe a rupture that lets the infection spread to somewhere we can't drain it. Then even an ER might not be able to help. Believe me, I wouldn't suggest this if it wasn't necessary."
"Ellen?"
"Joshua knows what he's doing, Sam. I've never known him to do anything that would put his patients in unnecessary danger. If you want, you can wait in the other room, and I'll assist."
"N-no. No. He's my brother. I have to be here. What do you need me to do, Josh?"
"Just hold him still for me. Ellen can get the light."
"All right."
"Make sure that towel's under his head. This ain't gonna be pretty."
"Just make if fast."
"Hold him…"
"(…)"
"(…)"
"That's it. That's got it. He probably feels better already with that mess outta there."
"Oh, God!"
"Bathroom's that wa…"
"(…)"
"Yeah… Trash can works,too."
"Sorry."
"Hmmm, mmm, mmmmm, mm-mmm… Hey, Sam."
"Hey, Ellen. How's he doing?"
"Better than you look to be. Go back to sleep. I don't mind sitting up with him. I'm confident his fever will break by morning."
"I can't sleep."
"Well, suit yourself."
"Were you humming?"
"Hmm?"
"When I came in just now. What were you humming?"
"Oh. Don't think I remember anymore. Song my Mama used to sing to me when I was little. I used to sing it to Jo when she was having a hard time sleeping. 'Til she took it in her head she was too big for lullabies. Been so long, I don't think I even remember the words."
"Dean used to sing to me, too. When I was sick, or just scared. When I had a nightmare, or it had been days since we'd seen Dad, and I was afraid he wasn't coming back."
"Music's a powerful healer. Comes from the soul. It's impossible to lie or deceive with a song. They say God hears songs before prayers, that a song is a prayer you speak with your heart."
"You know, Dean would kick your ass for even suggesting that."
"Well, then it's a good thing he can't hear me."
"Yeah."
"What song was it? The one Dean used to sing to you? Was it one in particular, or just whatever happened to come to mind?"
"There were a few, but one more than most. I don't know if I can remember it, though."
"Well, you think on it. Give you something to do besides worrying your little head. If you're intent on sitting up, I'm going to bed."
"Good night, Ellen."
"Good night, Sam."
"(…)"
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"You did real good bringing him here. He's going to be fine."
"I hope so."
"Hope is just a prayer you keep to yourself."
"G'night."
"Cya in the morning, Sam."
"(…)"
"(…)"
"Hmm, hmm, hmmm, Together we stand, hmm, well, it's just you and me, la, la. Forever we stand, and we'll make it through. La, l-la, la, mmmm… Guess that's all I can remember…"
"(…)"
"Yeah, I better shut up. My singing voice will probably put you in a coma. Not the same as when you did it for me."
"(…)"
"You damned well better get well soon, big brother. I suck at this."
:::::: (A week later)
"Dean, you can stop doing that thing with your jaw anytime, now. You look like a mental patient with a nervous twitch."
"Sorry. Just can't seem to lose this ringing in my ears."
"Yeah, Josh said that might last awhile. You had enough pus in there to rearrange the furniture in your head pretty effectively."
"Hmm, yeah. Heard it was pretty gross. Strangest thing, though."
"What?"
"Well, this ringing in my ears. Kinda reminds me of an old Skid Row song. Haven't heard it in years."
"Uh, ohhh? Yeah?"
"Yeah, maybe you remember it. Goes… 'As long as the world keeps turning, As long as there's another day, Together, forever we'll stay.'"
"Ngh-nope. Can't say I remember that."
"Too bad. Good tune."
"I'm sure…"
"And Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't suck at this, and your singing voice ain't that bad… Bitch."
"Jerk."
The End
A/N: So, did you get it without all the extra stuff? Would you like to see me flesh this out? Tell me. I'm dying to know.