2007-June 7

Fanfiction by blueroseulan

Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own Blood+. I'm just a poor writer driven to type a fic due to my deathly starvation of Saya/Haji fluff.

This story takes place during their quest to find Diva. Nevermind if they never really slept with each other during the whole series. Let's think they did anyway.

Read and Review Please!

BLOOD +

HAJI'S POV

The night was still and quiet, except for the occasional gentle rustlings of the blankets. The room was dark and almost empty save perhaps the wooden desk and the cabinet on the sides. As I open my eyes and accustom myself with the darkness I hear yet another single blessed sound that never ceases to stir emotions in me.

Your breathing, soft and deep as it gently escapes your lips as warm puffs of breath against my skin.

Saya…my mind whispers in tender recognition.

As I watch you sleep beside me, your head resting on the strength of my chest, my mind slowly reels into a flashback of our last activity. My good arm unconsciously tightens on the bare flesh of your waist as I recall how passionately we have again consummated our love. It has never ceased to amaze me how you would permit someone as tainted and as sinful as I am to touch you, to explore the feelings of passion and desire together and to create love amidst such turbulent times.

And yet at the back of my mind, I somehow knew turbulence was never something new in our lives. And that perhaps, after such long a time of being together, you have finally accepted me not just as your chevalier but as someone else?

I pull your form closer to mine, wanting to feel the warmth your body radiated, seeking your quiet presence as a balm to my harried emotions.

How long have we known each other? I am not one to regularly pitch myself in such flashbacks and yet I could not fathom the length of time we've spent with each other. Decades? Centuries? Perhaps even longer? Periods and hours would seem irrelevant now. I had promised to wait for you… and I will. No matter how long it will take you to sleep, to rest, no matter how long I have to keep on waiting and searching, I vow to always wait and be with you.

You stir so gently in my arms and I gently stroke the small of your back in an effort to coax you back to sleep. Even with the skill you have, rest is still essential for your human body. And it doesn't help to know that I may be one of the reasons why you've not had enough sleep and rest for the past few nights.

"Haji…"

Your voice slightly tired and scratched from having been used too much in our earlier tryst still sounded beautiful to my ears.

Beautiful; every part of you is beautiful. No matter how many centuries have passed and no matter how long you've slept, in my eyes you still remain to be a being worth of worship. I may never voice these thoughts—I have never still, yet I am awed with your flawless perfection. Everything you have, and everything you do, I find endearing. Your voice, your black locks darker than any shade of midnight I have ever seen, smooth as silk as it glides through my nimble fingers, your form, your occasionally brashness and free spiritedness…

Too much…you are too much for me…

At times I wonder, is it ever possible to love a person too much? Did such a disillusioned boundary exist? If it did, has mine gone beyond it? I have, after all, been sustained all these years by just the mere thought of spending one lifetime after another with you. When sleep and food ceased to sustain me, the illusion of your face did; isn't that love too powerful enough?

"Haji…" you then murmur, "Is there something wrong?"

Saya…my dear Saya, you need not worry about me…

I gently shake my head, smoothing my human hand gently across her face. "Nothing's wrong. Go back to sleep."

For a moment your scarlet coloured irises meet mine and I see a flicker of emotion in your eyes. You then drop your gaze and snuggle closer to me, as if our bodies weren't close enough. "Haji….I had a dream…" you say quietly, prying my mind away from my thoughts and focusing them on yours. You rest your head on the crook of my shoulder and I shiver inwardly with the warmth of your breathe against my skin. "In my dream, I saw you smiling…It was just like the dream I had when we were in Russia…when you found me asleep in the snow."

Your words are enough to send a course of regret in my mind.

"Forgive me Saya."

You were surprised with my words, I could tell.

"For what Haji? Why do you…apologize…?"

I bow my head and gently tip your chin so that our faces are once again impossibly close. "I want to express it Saya, I truly do; my emotions and thoughts with you. I want to show you how happy I truly am to be with you yet I cannot, for a reason I couldn't come close to guessing. I regret not being able to smile in front of you anymore. It…it pains me to know I cannot give the simplest of the things you want most." My voice is filled with guilt as I murmur these words to you. I am a man of few words; I do not know what had spurred me to disclose so much of my thoughts tonight. Your next actions then surprise me.

"Don't say that!" You suddenly sit up, uncaring to cover your unclothed form. "Don't ever say that…" you add with less vehemence and instead reach out to grasp both of my hands, encouraging me to sit across you, "You make me so happy Haji… And you give me everything that I could ever wish for you to give. Protection, company and… and…" you trail off, as if suddenly embarrassed with the last word wanting to escape your lips.

"And what Saya?" I reach out to touch your cheek in gentle coaxing and was rewarded with a breathy sigh.

"And…And love…"

My eyes widen with your reply. This you must have misinterpreted as a sign of negativity for you were quick to add, "You….you do love me…don't you Haji..?"

I do not love you Saya...my feelings and devotion to you have simply exceeded the notion of love.

But I keep to my thoughts, knowing that you would probably be never be able to fathom my belief. Instead, I allow emotions to seep in my gaze as I pull you to me, perfectly molding your form in my arms. "Of course I do Saya; more than you can ever imagine." I feel a lump in my throat. Why are all these strange emotions piling in my chest? "I love you and I promise to stay and protect you as always."

From somewhere in the vicinity of my chest I hear your muffled voice. "I don't want you to stay just because you have to protect me."

Inwardly I nod my head knowingly. You had always been distressed with that point of mine. You always thought you dragged me and tied me into an uncompromising position, an agreement you felt I was negative about. I never was Saya…and I never will be. Protecting you and your family isn't something I do just because you have appointed me as your chevalier. No, somewhere in the past I had vowed to be with you, chevalier or not, and protecting you was something I never viewed as a hindrance to myself.

"Haji…say something." uneasiness was evident in your tone and I instantly regret not having voiced out my thoughts sooner.

"Saya I protect you because I want to and not because I'm obligated to. And I wouldn't want anyone else to do my job. You are mine and mine alone. Mine to love and mine to protect" You shiver with my words and find comfort by wrapping your slender arms around me. I must admit possessiveness ran high in my voice but could you blame me? Could anyone? Your encounters with Solomon had long since alerted me to the fact that many still find you attractive and many, including Solomon are willing to take over my place just so that they could have you. Diva's chevalier made it clear to me that it doesn't matter whether I have unconsciously and silently branded you as mine; if I don't let you know how I felt about you, however ragged those feelings are, then it's ascertained you'll be snatched away from my grasp faster than I ever wanted to.

For a moment we both keep quiet, immersed in our own thoughts. Absent mindedly, my human hand reaches to knead the sore muscles on your back and arms. Skilled you are god you are not. And being a skilled fighter provides you with feelings of pain and tiredness. But this I never take as a sign of your weakness. In my eyes you are not weak. You never have been. Strong wouldn't describe you in a fight; driven may perhaps be the better term. Your sheer will and determination to destroy the creatures that seek to stir imbalance in your world is something I had always admired; the graceful fluidity underlining your every move, each skilled thrust of your sword—everything.

Your yawn suddenly disrupts me from my thoughts. Undoubtedly my caresses seem to work for you have almost fallen asleep once again.

"Haji…" you breathe out, eyes filling with the drugs of sleep. "Say it… Say it aloud Haji…"

Your request takes me by surprise. "Say what Saya?"

You smile sleepily, eyes almost half closed this time. "That you love me…you're not very vocal about it."

Wakatta…Realization dawns on me followed by yet another small sting of regret for not having said it sooner. Gently I guide you back to the futon, still keeping our distance impossibly close as I allow my form to tower above you. "I love you Saya, after all that we've been through, I love you more than life itself…always…forever. " I murmur before finally pressing my lips against yours in a tender and gentle kiss. I feel you smile as your palm reaches out to encompass my cheek and I lean on your touch. When our lips parted your once sleep filled eyes open to reveal passion clouded crimson irises.

"And I love you too Haji" Your hand grasps me closer as you pull me into yet another kiss but this time it is heated and I can almost feel our passion and thoughts co igniting into one. "Show me your love Haji…" you whisper in my ear and this time you flicker out your tongue in time to hear me intake a sharp breath.

"If that is your wish…Saya."

And this time as I proceed to love your very being, time and our thoughts both stop, my dutiful words serving to remind us both of what had happened between us for all the times and centuries we have spent together. It is a silent promise, sealed only by our deepest emotions that forever will only be spent in the company of the other. Literally, we have fought our own demons, risked our own lives, protected the other and have gone through hell and back and continually we will do so, without regret or hesitation in ourselves knowing that in each step we take, in each lifetime fate will drift us, even if we have to spend years and decades simply searching or waiting, we will always have each other.

OWARI.

Some helpful translation:

Wakatta- I understand

Next to Kenshin and Kaoru, Saya and Haji is my favourite couple. Though the series lacked fluff and isn't really focused on their feelings to each other, still I instantly fell in love with them especially their private moments in Russia sighs dreamily. Too bad the ending really sucked! I hope they make an OVA or something—and not leave the ending dangling for us audience to wonder what will happen to them.

Read and Review please!