(AN: I have just edited my whole story. Nothing drastic has changed. Just some grammar, spelling, etc. Enjoy)
I had just finished breakfast when I heard a knock at the door, thinking it might be Edward, back early from hunting, I ran to open it, tripping over the edge of the rug on the way.
I silently laughed at myself, I was way more eager to see him than anyone had any right to be.
Ever since he had come back I couldn't bare to spend any amount of time away from him, secretly fearing that one day he might leave as suddenly as before.
I shuddered away from the horrific memories of that awful time in my life in which he had left. I got up, more carefully this time to open the door.
"Hi Bella," it was just Alice. I mean, its not as if I didn't like her, she's my best friend, it's just a bit of a let down from Edward.
She must have been able to read my face, because a look of mock hurt came over her face.
"I thought we were friends Bella. Don't you want to see me anymore?" she faked a sniffle.
"I'm sorry Alice; I just thought it might be Edward. What's up?" I asked, standing to the side so she could come in.
"Well," she started, walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch, "I knew you would be miserable today with Edward gone, and I also know how much you hate the mall, so…I went shopping earlier and bought you a whole heap of clothes. So we can spend today trying everything on and matching outfits together. How much fun will that be!"
I groaned. That wasn't my idea of fun. But it would keep me busy and anything that would keep me busy I was happy for.
"OK Alice, but only for you."
"We are going to have so much fun today! I know it. Come and help me get the clothes out of the car."
I followed her out to the car .The back seat was filled entirely with shopping bags
"Whoa Alice, you bought all those clothes for me?" There must have been close to 50 bags on that seat.
Alice laughed "Don't be silly, Bella." I sighed in relief. "There are more bags in the trunk" she continued.
I just stared at her, horrified as she walked round to the boot. I followed her and, sure enough, there were around a dozen more bags, crammed into the trunk of Alice's car.
"Alice," I started, "my wardrobe isn't big enough for all these clothes. Where do you expect me to put all this?"
"At our place of course, you're over there so often you may as well have clothes so that you don't have to pack bags every time you stay over." She replied.
It was too much of course but I was touched "Thank you Alice. I guess we'd better get all this inside" I said, grabbing an armful of bags.
When we had all the bags up in my room, Alice sorted them into color, style, outfits and her preferences and handed me the first bags.
I went into the bathroom to try it and emerged looking like an advert for the color pink.
"Umm, Alice? I think perhaps a little less pink."
She looked at me and giggled "I guess your right." She came over and started pulling clothes off. She was starting to pull off my skirt when I squealed
"Um, I can get dressed on my own, thanks Alice" I said when she sent me a strange look, wondering what I was hiding.
"Don't be stupid," she said "it's not like I've never seen you naked before" referring to the awkward period of time when I couldn't shower myself because of a broken leg.
And with that she pulled off my skirt, leaving me standing in my underwear.
She stared at my legs, well my thighs to be more precise, and the many dark scars which marred my otherwise pale skin.
"Bella," she said sharply, "Please don't tell me that those are what they think they are."
I avoided her gaze and sat down on the bed covering my legs with the blanket.
I had managed to keep it hidden for so long, not letting anyone know how truly depressed I became during the time that Edward was gone. But now I had been found out.
"Alice, please don't tell Edward. I'm begging you. He doesn't need to know." I pleaded with her.
"You did that yourself didn't you?" she asked softly, coming to sit on the bed beside me.
I just nodded, still not looking her in the eyes.
"I'm sorry," I whispered "Just please don't tell him, he already blames himself for the way I was when he left. This will just hurt him more than I think he could bear."
Alice just shook her head. "Bella, I haven't got a hope of keeping this from him. Even if I tried he would just pull it from my mind."
As I digested what she had told me the tears started to fall.
"I'm sorry Alice, I'm so sorry. When he left, I was numb; life didn't have meaning without him in it. But one day one of my razors broke, and the blade was right there so I took it, and I cut myself. It was the first time I had felt anything in months. Sure it was pain that I was feeling, but I didn't care. Just to have an emotion at all was a step up for me. From then on I cut myself almost every second day." I stopped, unable to say anymore.
Alice pulled me into a tight hug.
"It's Okay Bella, it will be fine."
I sniffled and hugged her back, "But what if it's not Alice? What if this is the one thing that makes him realize I'm not worth it. What if I lose you all again?"
"Bella." She said standing up and taking my hand. We walked to the desk and she picked up the picture sitting in the middle of it. "See that," she said, referring to the picture. I looked at it. It was a picture of me with all the Cullens taken outside their home. It was impossible to not notice the differences between myself and everybody else in the photo. I didn't deserve to be there.
"What about it?" I asked dully.
"Bella, look at this." She said, taking a folded piece of paper out of her pocket. It was a photo of all the Cullens, but it must have been taken a while ago. "See the difference" she asked.
I looked at the two pictures, and though I could tell something was different, I couldn't pick what. I kept staring at the pictures, and was drawn to the image of Edward. Then I finally saw it and gasped. The change was actually Edward himself. In the older picture his smile was forced, and his eyes were emotionless. In the second picture, the most recent one, he was looking at me and he was practically glowing he looked so happy.
"This is where you belong Bella, we all love you." Alice said quietly.
At that moment, Edward appeared at the window.
"Edward!" I cried, running across the room and throwing myself into his arms.
"Er-Bella." He said awkwardly.
At that point I remembered that I was still in only my underwear. More importantly, I remembered the scars. Apparently he noticed them as well, because his face fell and he sank onto my bed like his legs had just refused to hold him up.
"B-Bella," he started weakly.