What Really Goes on Onboard Voyager, A PADD Story
Part Two
To: The Doctor
From: Commander Chakotay
Subject: Please save me!
Time sent: 16:43 hours
Oh Spirits! Doctor, she's chasing me! She's got Betsy and I'm headed towards your direction! Please Please PLEASE get her off of my tail!
Desperate (a.k.a. Chakotay)
* * * *
To: Chakotay
From: Tom
Subject: Memorial
Time sent 16:44
Hello, Chakotay,
I need to know a few things before you set down your PADD.
1: What kind of flowers shall I get for your memorial? Pansies really suit you, y'know
2: Music
3: Who's going to do the Eulogy since she is going to kill you…
Oh, and Neelix wants to know what kind of food you want to be served at the reception.
Cya if you make it away from her alive!
* * * *
To: Commander Chakotay
From: Emergency Medical Hologram of Voyager
Subject: RE: Please save me!
Time sent: 1654 hours
While it would violate my ethical subroutines, I do believe you deserve what she is going to give you. I'm sorry, Commander- you're on your own.
Have a nice day!
----Old Message----
To: The Doctor
From: Commander Chakotay
Subject: Please save me!
Time sent: 16:43 hours
Oh Spirits! Doctor, she's chasing me! She's got Betsy and I'm headed towards your direction! Please Please PLEASE get her off of my tail!
Desperate (a.k.a. Chakotay)
To: Chakotay
From: Senior Staff, minus Capt. Janeway
Subject: Don't get us involved!
Time sent: 1700 hours
Commander, The Senior Staff of Voyager is now officially declaring itself neutral in all proceedings between you and…*clears throat* Her.
By the way, if you think what she's doing to you is her worst…I suggest you look at Harry next time he comes near you. Note the blue crew cut….
Sincerely,
Tuvok, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Doc, Seven, Neelix
* * *
To: Crew Manifest, minus Chakotay
From: Captain Janeway
Subject: Practical Jokes
Time sent: 1745
Hello crew, this is the Captain speaking.
Regarding the practical jokes that have been going on, I am now putting an end to them.
Commander Chakotay has surrendered to the Women, and we know what this means. All men are required to look into their closet, and take the pre-replicated old-style uniform out and wear it for the specified time- which was, I believe, 3 weeks.
Girls, I believe there is a celebration we must attend…?
Captain Janeway, Victor, and Leader of the Women
* * * *
To: Janeway
From: Chakotay
Subject: Evil!!
Time sent: 1800
Kathryn! Now, I don't really mind wearing dresses- I did it at the Academy for the weekly parties- but shaving my legs?!?!
I don't even know HOW to use this damnable razor! HELP!
~Chakotay
* * * *
To: Chakotay, Cinderella
From: Kathryn, the Fairy Godmother
Subject:
Time sent: 1806 hours
Oh, helpless males!
Just do as you would do if you were shaving your face! Sheesh!
Must I do everything?!
~Kathryn
-----Original Message-----
To: Janeway
From: Chakotay
Subject: Evil!!
Time sent: 1800
Kathryn! Now, I don't really mind wearing dresses- I did it at the Academy for the weekly parties- but shaving my legs?!?!
I don't even know HOW to use this damnable razor! HELP!
~Chakotay
* * * *
To: Crew Manifest
From: Emergency Medical Hologram of Voyager
Subject: The 'Prank Wars' and their consequences.
Time Sent: 18:31
I hope you are happy! Commander Chakotay, in a shaving incident, has lost a darn near lot of blood from the razor! He was moaning along the way about fitting into his stockings…. Whatever that means.
So As the CMO, I am prohibiting the use of razors. Just come down and I'll stop the hair growth on that particular area of skin..Bikini areas not included.
And for people like Mr. Paris that are going bald…well, I can't help you or else I'd have helped myself first
I truly think this is a learning experience for you all. What did you learn?
Don't shave if you don't know how to work a triple-bladed razor!!
~Doctor
Part Two
To: The Doctor
From: Commander Chakotay
Subject: Please save me!
Time sent: 16:43 hours
Oh Spirits! Doctor, she's chasing me! She's got Betsy and I'm headed towards your direction! Please Please PLEASE get her off of my tail!
Desperate (a.k.a. Chakotay)
* * * *
To: Chakotay
From: Tom
Subject: Memorial
Time sent 16:44
Hello, Chakotay,
I need to know a few things before you set down your PADD.
1: What kind of flowers shall I get for your memorial? Pansies really suit you, y'know
2: Music
3: Who's going to do the Eulogy since she is going to kill you…
Oh, and Neelix wants to know what kind of food you want to be served at the reception.
Cya if you make it away from her alive!
* * * *
To: Commander Chakotay
From: Emergency Medical Hologram of Voyager
Subject: RE: Please save me!
Time sent: 1654 hours
While it would violate my ethical subroutines, I do believe you deserve what she is going to give you. I'm sorry, Commander- you're on your own.
Have a nice day!
----Old Message----
To: The Doctor
From: Commander Chakotay
Subject: Please save me!
Time sent: 16:43 hours
Oh Spirits! Doctor, she's chasing me! She's got Betsy and I'm headed towards your direction! Please Please PLEASE get her off of my tail!
Desperate (a.k.a. Chakotay)
To: Chakotay
From: Senior Staff, minus Capt. Janeway
Subject: Don't get us involved!
Time sent: 1700 hours
Commander, The Senior Staff of Voyager is now officially declaring itself neutral in all proceedings between you and…*clears throat* Her.
By the way, if you think what she's doing to you is her worst…I suggest you look at Harry next time he comes near you. Note the blue crew cut….
Sincerely,
Tuvok, Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Doc, Seven, Neelix
* * *
To: Crew Manifest, minus Chakotay
From: Captain Janeway
Subject: Practical Jokes
Time sent: 1745
Hello crew, this is the Captain speaking.
Regarding the practical jokes that have been going on, I am now putting an end to them.
Commander Chakotay has surrendered to the Women, and we know what this means. All men are required to look into their closet, and take the pre-replicated old-style uniform out and wear it for the specified time- which was, I believe, 3 weeks.
Girls, I believe there is a celebration we must attend…?
Captain Janeway, Victor, and Leader of the Women
* * * *
To: Janeway
From: Chakotay
Subject: Evil!!
Time sent: 1800
Kathryn! Now, I don't really mind wearing dresses- I did it at the Academy for the weekly parties- but shaving my legs?!?!
I don't even know HOW to use this damnable razor! HELP!
~Chakotay
* * * *
To: Chakotay, Cinderella
From: Kathryn, the Fairy Godmother
Subject:
Time sent: 1806 hours
Oh, helpless males!
Just do as you would do if you were shaving your face! Sheesh!
Must I do everything?!
~Kathryn
-----Original Message-----
To: Janeway
From: Chakotay
Subject: Evil!!
Time sent: 1800
Kathryn! Now, I don't really mind wearing dresses- I did it at the Academy for the weekly parties- but shaving my legs?!?!
I don't even know HOW to use this damnable razor! HELP!
~Chakotay
* * * *
To: Crew Manifest
From: Emergency Medical Hologram of Voyager
Subject: The 'Prank Wars' and their consequences.
Time Sent: 18:31
I hope you are happy! Commander Chakotay, in a shaving incident, has lost a darn near lot of blood from the razor! He was moaning along the way about fitting into his stockings…. Whatever that means.
So As the CMO, I am prohibiting the use of razors. Just come down and I'll stop the hair growth on that particular area of skin..Bikini areas not included.
And for people like Mr. Paris that are going bald…well, I can't help you or else I'd have helped myself first
I truly think this is a learning experience for you all. What did you learn?
Don't shave if you don't know how to work a triple-bladed razor!!
~Doctor