Never Lose You

Chapter 10: I find him (final)

It has been a year already since that day.

I hate to remember that day, but I think it's useless to hide from it forever.

The next day after the incident, my nakamas decided to let his body to be swept away by the ocean. But I didn't even go out of my room. I couldn't stand imagining him to get into the lonely, dark and deep place down there. Really, that hurts me. I just remembered that the next day, I found out that I had to prepare only seven plates instead of eight.

A year already, huh?

That's quite a long time. I still can't believe it that I had passed a year without him. It is really is a miracle for me.

Yes, I regret my stupidity back then, for not believing in him. But, well, I'm not that naïve to think that every love story will end up with a happy ending like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. I'm not hoping for that.

So, what am I hoping for?

Maybe, I'm hoping to own more power to keep living in this world without his touch, with his absence.

Well… I promised to believe in him. And he said that I'll never lose him. So I should believe in that one too, in any case. Maybe this is our own happy ending. And I'll live with that.

My nakamas and I decided to make a tombstone in every island that we reached, as a proof that Zoro is still a part of us.

The day is getting darker now, when I poured the sake from its bottle with my right hand in front of the tombstone written Roronoa Zoro, Mugiwara Kaizoku.

I found myself smiling as I said, "Happy birthday, Zoro, I know you don't like flowers too much, but I had picked these from a villager's garden near here, and that's not easy when the owner don't actually give you the permission."

That's not a lie or exaggeration, really. When I asked for the permission yesterday, the owner got angry at me and said that they are too expensive to be given away to me.

"They're pretty, I think. So, don't mock them, you shitty sarcastic swordsman!" I said as I hit the tombstone with my hand, not with my full-power, of course.

"Anyway, Zoro," I said again as I called back to the past, "There has been so many things that happened in one year after you left…"

I chuckled at the memory.

"Yesterday a man came to me and asked me out. But I said I had a lover already. Well, I think I'm quite faithful to you, since actually the man was really handsome to me. Hope you count that, ha!" I took a gulp from the remaining sake in the bottle then.

"And… Guess what, Zoro, Usopp met Kaya about three months ago! She has become a very beautiful and skillful doctor now. I still can't understand why she likes that long nosed guy so much, instead of any other nice guys," then I laughed at my own thoughts, "Well, I don't understand why I chose you, too."

"Not more than a week ago, Luffy met his father, the revolutionary Dragon. Well, I and the others didn't know what they two were talking about, because I think they were talking about something personal. Not long after, Dragon went away again," I stopped when Luffy's expression at that time comes to my mind, "I think Luffy was happy to know that his father is okay with his life."

Then I sat next to the tombstone, too tired of sitting on my heels.

"Oh yeah, Zoro, still remember Kureha? That sexy old lady from Drum Kingdom met us with a pirate ship! I thought that she had became a pirate now with her medical team, but then Chopper said that she had to be stealing that ship from another pirates," I laughed once more as I sucked on the cigarette between my lips.

"She's been doing great at all, with her new medical team. Oh, Zoro, I almost forgot to tell you about this, Franky had made so many cool stuffs in the Sunny! And I feel kinda relaxed in some ways that you won't break them like you always did, with me, when we're fighting," I stared at the tombstone. We often fought like crazy and broke stuffs. That always made Nami-san angry at us.

Everytime we fought, I always thought about not wanting those fighting things between us to be over… Because I'd always wanted to keep in communicate with him in any way… Because with those fights, we were getting closer and closer…

"Oh! About Robin-chan, she had become sexier now. She found a poneglyph stone in this island too. And yeah, she's still as cool as before, you know," I said, hoping that Zoro won't get jealous by that.

"Don't be jealous please, baka swordsman," I smirked, "Especially when I'm going to tell you about Nami-san 'Ah, that materialistic woman again' I bet you're saying such a thing now. Well, she's getting even smarter in many cases, such as in making money for us… etcetera."

I bet he's smirking too by hearing that. He must be smiling with his white teeth. And I can't prevent my mind from imagining the sound of his jingle earrings as I feel some wind moves around me now. I closed my eyes blissfully and let the jingle sound fills my head. Then I opened my eyes again, I'm going to tell him about myself.

"And about me… Well…"

I paused for a short while before I continue on talking,

"I always found myself awaken in the middle of the night after dreaming something lately. And in those dreams, I saw you. In every dream, I saw you standing on Sunny's deck with your back towards me. You were watching the sunset. Then I called your name and you turned to me. You smiled to me and I walked to you."

I smiled again as I bowed my head.

"Then you'll grab my waist and start kissing my lips softly. But unfortunately, everytime when you whispered me something, I'll wake up from my sleep because I want to pee," I chuckled at my own bad luck, "Funny, huh?"

I moved my fingers on the tombstone, caressed it softly. I bit my bottom lips so hard, as something warm and familiar is going to fall from the corner of my eyes. I don't want to do this in his birthday. I should be happy, right?

Sanji…

I heard something behind me. I don't want to turn from the tombstone, to be honest, I'm too afraid to turn my head now.

Sanji.

The voice is getting clearer, I don't know should I be happy or not, should I be eager to turn or not. The next second, I heard that familiar sound of jingling metal. I can't stand it anymore! I turned my head, and I saw him.

"Zo… Zoro… Is that you…?"

I can't help but smiling like crazy, I stood up and started to run towards him. Now my tears are falling unstoppably. I sobbed as I ran to him. It feels like the small pathway between us is longer than it should be. My sobs are getting louder and I jumped to hold his body with mine…

…The next second I felt myself kneeling on the hard ground below me. I hold nothing but wind in my arms. He's gone.

I was going to cry again when a soft voice that moved along with the wind got into my ears, preventing me from crying…

"Don't worry. You'll never lose me, Sanji."

Now I can't let my tears fall. In exchange, I smile widely as I look up to the sky… He's here…

Yes, I'll never lose him because he's here inside me…

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END.

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