Title: Can I Keep You?
Author: tomoyohime8
Summary: Can what has been broken, be made whole again?
Disclaimer: If I OWNED cardcaptor sakura, this wouldn't be called fanfiction, wouldn't it? Lol…
A/N: the details of what's happening aren't very explained – it would have made it too long if I had, and it wouldn't have the same… aura was going for…
Hope you enjoy!
Can I keep you?
tomoyohime8
My heart is restless, and it yearns to move away
To some distant land I was afraid to go to
Why is my heart not satisfied with what I have?
When will I find whatever I am searching for?
"Eriol-kun! Over here!"
"It is nice to see you again, everyone."
"We've missed you so much!"
"I'm sorry Kaho could not come. There were… engagements she could not break."
It was as truthful as he could say it.
"It's alright! We understand. There is always next time!"
Eriol let his half daughter gush over him in her excitement. She is still as cute as ever, even though she is already 16, and grown up.
Eriol had missed this – the refreshing liveliness of his family in another life. If for anything, he was thankful to Clow Reed for this.
Eriol was amused to see his half son glaring at the young Li (while trying to shake off Ruby Moon), and that Yue's false form was trying hard not to laugh at his beloved, while clutching a yellow stuffed toy (who was trying very hard to keep still).
The memories he has of them from his past life are sweet and nostalgic.
But they are, ultimately, memories of a past life.
He misses them, as he misses a vague dream from long ago.
A dark-haired girl is standing in the background silently, satisfied in filming Sakura's excitement, and Syaoran's uncomfortable blushing.
She catches him staring at her, and she smiles, a polite, perfect smile.
He is surprised by the pain in her eyes.
"Konbanwa, Daidouji-san. What is a lovely girl like you doing out here in the cold?"
"I am watching the sky, Hiiragizawa-san."
"May I sit beside you?"
"Of course."
Together they watched the sky in comfortable silence. A gentle breeze stirs up, sighing words of regret and sorrow.
"The wind is crying. She is playing a very mournful song."
"What do you mean by that, Daidouji-san?"
"I can hear the sadness of her heart."
"Why is she sad?"
"I-I do not know."
Her eyes are dark, contrasting the stark paleness of her skin.
He thinks she does know, but does not press on.
She is looking at the sky, because if she looks down, she will see them, them in their blissful happiness.
Happiness she cannot share with them.
Eriol looks at her. Even when she was in pain, she was still picturesque, a living doll.
Dolls are always smiling.
Dolls cannot cry.
Her dark curls are blowing freely in the wind, her face a porcelain mask frozen in its beauty.
But the tangible sadness in her eyes gives her away.
Something undecipherable stirs within him. He wonders what it could be.
"We must change her tune then."
"How?"
Is it even still possible? She does not dare ask it out loud, but is hoping, praying that he would answer…
He is silent for a moment, then replies.
"By learning a new song."
She does not understand.
"Please send our greetings to Mizuki-sensei for us." Sakura is smiling, though she's sad he's going away. Syaoran has an arm around her, his face in a slight frown and his voice gruff, but his eyes gentle as he gazes upon her.
He looks at him seriously.
"Take care of yourself while you're away."
Li Xiaolang had always been perceptive.
Eriol resists calling him his cutest descendant, just this once. He bows instead.
The young Li will be very good for his daughter, he thinks.
He is proud to call Sakura-chan his daughter, even though she's really not.
Not technically anyway.
But the affection is the same, he thinks. Sakura has become an amazing young woman, beautiful and strong, in his opinion.
She is not there with them. He is surprised by the disappointment he suddenly feels.
She has become a good friend in the months he had spent here.
Sighing, he turns to leave, when suddenly, she arrives, panting and breathless. He's amused by the thought that even when she's huffing and puffing, she still maintains the aura of a goddess.
He is disturbed by these troubling thoughts.
He should not even be thinking this way.
He was supposed to be anxious to return.
She was waiting for him back home.
Back in England.
Back to where he was supposed to be.
Red silk and soft skin and beatific smiles.
The stillness of the lake and the quiet of a lazy afternoon. That was what was waiting for him back in England.
But why was his heart pressing him to stay?
"Hiiragizawa-kun, if we were to be reborn, do you think we would ever cross paths again?"
"I think we would, Daidouji-san."
"Please, call me Tomoyo."
"If you would call me Eriol."
They each bow respectfully to the other, out of habit.
He leaves, feeling that he's left something behind.
Seasons have changed and the wind has changed its tune.
Years have passed and yet the world remains the same.
I left my heart here, though I did not know it then,
Will you keep it, and can I keep you instead?
They sit on the swings in the familiar childhood park.
"So you're moving here permanently?"
"That's the plan."
"Ne, Eriol-kun, why have come back to Japan? It has been several years since you last visited."
Eriol turned to look at her, his eyes dark, the blue barely visible.
She's no longer the schoolgirl she knew her to be many years ago. there's something else in her eyes - Resignation?
Hope?
He himself hoped for the latter.
"Eriol-kun?"
"I think I left my heart here, five years ago."
She is perplexed. She still does not understand.
"Why did you leave it?"
"I had not known that I had already given it away."
"I hope it returns to you."
"But, Tomoyo-san, I do not want it back."
He does not say more, fearing that she would not, could not keep it for him.
He waits in silence, for what seemed like an eternity for her response.
She sighs into the night air, and pushes her swing a bit more.
She does not give any hint that she has understood.
He waits for her to make the next move.
She gives another soft sigh, so soft, he might have only imagined it to be so.
He waits in anticipation.
"Eriol-kun, do you believe in fate?"
"I believe that everything happens as a result of our actions."
"Do you think a heart can be whole again, after it has been broken?"
"I certainly hope so."
A soft breeze picks up, scattering the petals of a nearby tree. The flowers swirl around them, and Eriol catches one in his hand. He looks at it, and then turns to gently place it in her hair.
"The wind is singing again," she says.
"Is she still crying?"
"No."
"What do you hear?"
"She is hopeful. She was afraid to sing again, but she's found someone else to sing with, so she's not so lonely anymore."
"Someone else to sing with?"
"She thought it was just okay to sing alone, that the music alone could comfort her. But then she found someone to sing with, and the music they sing together is much more beautiful than she could ever have imagined."
"I'm glad then, that she's found someone to sing with."
Hands move between them, and fingers lace together, pale against the darkness of the night.
"I'm glad too."
I never thought that I would ever find
The person who could make me believe in love again.
-owari-