Finally! Utterly ashamed at having left it so long but I have been swamped with work, and rather distracted by the amazing Garcia two-parter episodes

But back again with a vengeance, thank you to anybody who's still interested, I love hearing from you!

(Incase you've forgotten, JJ just took a test and the father has 'chosen'. Ooh. Lol)

A/N: Criminal minds belongs to those who write it (and if those who write it do not get a significant pay rise soon I will stop watching it regardless of how good it is, go strike!)

………

Forever

Chapter 8: Choose

………

"…3"

They both looked down slowly, as if fighting against some unseen force that was holding their heads back.

"Oh..."

Spencer felt a strange sensation, like he could feel his heart beating in his throat, the heavy, thick pulse of it overwhelmed him, stopped him from speaking. Not only did he fail to spout out the standard list of ambiguous facts, absolutely nothing came to mind. This was new territory. He gently prised the little white device from his colleagues shaking hands and held it against the back of the box to make sure.

It was incredibly clear.

Horizontal blue line: Pregnant. Vertical blue line: Not Pregnant.

He stared at the tiny blue line on the tiny white stick, crossing the tiny white screen.

Horizontally.

"Well… that's a yes then."

………

Although it was an unclear statement they all seemed to understand. "She will make my choice." It must have been in the Manifesto. The man in the wheelchair leaned back and watched the screens for a few more minutes and then spun back to face them decisively.

"10, 14. Fetch her, 5 will help you but you must not blow her cover." The man referred to as 14 stirred uneasily, his amber- brown eyes had stopped their silent, teary protest.

"But Si- What if she chooses-?"

"Then you will do it. She won't. But that is irrelevant. If she did… You. Would. Do it." He stressed each word of the final sentence with a clear undertone. There was no room for negotiation. The two swiftly left the room, and the attention was yet again focussed on the screens.

"Tech… 3… get ready to pull the plug"

………

"JJ…"

She had taken back the test and sat down on the edge of his bed… their bed, he corrected himself unconsciously. She hadn't said anything in ten minutes.

"Are you okay…?"
He hadn't expected this reaction. But then he hadn't had a clue what to expect in the first place. This was just as alien to him as anything else was going to be. She looked up, her eyes dry. This observation made him feel mutually deeply reassured and deeply concerned. That's ridiculous… emotions are not sustainable to paradoxes, he thought, although it was really just a distraction from what to say next. Finally she spoke.

"What are we going to do?"

He berated himself inwardly for preferring the silence. But he spoke from the heart.

"… What's right. We'll work it out."

"We?"

He frowned at this.

"Of course."

She breathed out slowly and the corners of her mouth turned up, although it was not yet quite a smile.

"I'm so glad it's you, Spence."

As much as this pleased him he didn't really have an answer for this, he joined her on the bed and put one arm around her, one hand on her stomach. She looked at him. Confused, terrified, relieved, expectant. He kissed her forehead and they sat in silence for a while. He started when she spoke again.

"I think… we should sleep in our own rooms tonight. It's just so much to process. I've got to be alone." But I'm not alone. She added, subconsciously. There's another one now. Spencer nodded gravely, with only a tiny hint of hurt showing through.

"I understand… we'll talk in the morning."

"Yeah… definitely." She was beginning to regret her suggestion but it was true. They both needed time alone to think for themselves. He walked her to his door, she felt like she was being led, blind.

"Wait- Spence." He stared at her, compelling her to elaborate.

"Truthfully. Please… Will a part of you hate me, if… if part of me makes me keep… it. Or… if a part of me makes me… get rid of it"

He searched for an ounce of him that would.

"…No, Jennifer. I just wouldn't"

But somehow the term 'get rid' seemed like such an ugly prospect to both of them.

………

The bespectacled man in the corner was completely devoted to the machine in front of him. His fingers were a near blur over the keyboard, he seemed to be stroking it rather than typing. He had a Greek symbol tattooed on his ring finger. Everyone in that room could tell you it meant 3.

"Are they in?"

A few more raps on the keys to confirm.

"Yes, Father."

"Tell them… 3:15"

………

Not one team member was having much luck sleeping.

Emily rang the detective a final time; it was still going straight to voicemail. She was annoyed with herself; usually she was so good at detachment, a talent that made her a top profiler… not so good with dates. Why did she care so much? She rolled over and tried to sleep.

Hotch sat in his room, staring at the case files… but not processing them. He may as well have been looking at the dark mahogany dresser below. It had been a month since he had come back to his house to find his… his entire life had left him. When Jack was born… he was already SSA Hotchner. He hadn't changed… the child cases were harder to bear. But he hadn't changed. Why had Hailey? He buried his head in his hands, stopping angry tears of frustration getting any further. He had thought about the situation to death... He has never seconded his responsibility as a father to his one to the team, not once. But that wasn't enough. He grudgingly dragged himself over to the bed and closed his eyes in vain.

Morgan was having a different kind of a sleepless night. And Garcia was having a similar one. Concerning the networked hotel phones.

"Look I knooow you like being the tough guy… but I have moved on my chocolate prince!"

He grinned at one of his favourite nicknames.

"Oh no baby girl. I will not rest until I find him. Nobody touches my Garcia!"

"You're all talk stud"

"Do you want me to come over there and give you a spanking? Because I will march my ass down that corridor right now young lady!"

The line crackled with giggles. She held her tongue. Well, a little bit.

"Oh yeah big boy?"

He grinned and then looked at the clock, utterly shocked. 3:00AM.

"Christ, girl I am gonna have to get some shut eye… early rise remember, you too"

"Ahh… you're right. Night night sweetne-"

The line cut off.

………

"It worked?"

"Yes, father"

"Turn on the night vision."

………

Spencer rolled over and stared at the clock. 3:07AM. The dark circles round his eyes would be back with a vengeance tomorrow morning, he thought with a groan. JJ had begun to irradiate them.

Would a part of him hate her if she kept it? No, definitely not. But if she got rid of it... He thought hard… because he hadn't thought about this turn of events yet. Because from the moment he saw that little horizontal blue line… up until now, he hadn't considered abortion. Unbidden images entered his mind, a tiny replica of JJ, long blonde hair, big blue eyes, sat on his knee. He'd read to her every night, like his mother did to him… she'd know the periodic table by the age of 5… he shook his head, physically trying to shake out these happy little fantasies. Nothing was certain yet. Why did he assume it was a girl? He turned over and grabbed the phone of the bedside table, keying in JJ's room number. The line was dead and he rolled back onto his spine, rather dejected. What would you say anyway, genius? 'I think our child might like chemistry?' He pressed his fingers into his eyelids, it offered some relief, but sleep still wouldn't rescue him.

………

A noise somewhere outside, a creaking, made her open her eyes for the fourth time in 5 minutes. JJ looked at the source of the irritating red light illuminating her bedroom, preventing her from sleep. 3:12AM. She threw a jumper over it and sat up, brushing her hair out of her face. What a joke. That's not keeping you up at all. It's probably just the impending motherhood. She sat, thinking, for a few minutes. She thought of Spencer. Her stomach ached with what she told herself was hunger but knew was guilt. She'd already made her choice. Maybe… maybe if it had been a mistake, then she would… get… 'rid'. But of course this was a mistake. But in a strange, enlightened way she thought… a good one.

Her two hands cupped her presently flat stomach.

A third one shot round her neck and grabbed her face roughly, whilst pushing the unmistakeable barrel of a shotgun into her stomach, stifling the scream she tried to let out.

"Stay perfectly still or I swear to god we will kill both of you."

She froze as if doused in a bucket of ice cold water. Her skin crawled with fear. She managed to utter out a few words, through the thick, metallic tasting glove that was constricting her mouth.

"Please…don't"

The glove tightened its grip and the pressure on her stomach increased and she stopped. A voice came from in front of her this time, the man behind her released his grip very slightly, not an act of mercy.

"You have a choice. You or Him. Choose."

The man behind took his hand off her mouth and grabbed a handful of hair, painfully pulling her head back.

"Choose!"

"I don't – I don't understand!"

They both carried torches and as her eyes grew accustomed to the subtle light she made out the frame of the slim man in front of her. He spoke to her slowly and clearly, though his voice shook a little.

"You… Jennifer Jarau. Or him. Spencer Reid."

The words came out before she had a chance to process them, and once she had they only confirmed her decision. Her reply provoked an audible sigh from the man in front of her, who stopped his slight shaking.

"Choose me."

………