I originally posted this set of stories a few months back, but was told the original format violated the rules so I pulled it. The few who got to see it in its original format liked it, so I decided to alter it to fit the rules for viewing by you guys. I liked these stories too much to not post them. If you want to see the original format (which I like better) then send me a message and I'll forward it along. :)

What follows are some skits I came up with to use in blogs I'd written a long while back. Most of them were inspired by friends, or DMC itself. All involve Dante.

The below "story" came about during a conversation I had with a good friend one day. He knows I'm a Dante buff and brought up the idea of Capcom suing me for lustful thoughts...lol Too much caffeine, and not enough sleep later came this.

The status is set to "In-Progress" because the madness didn't end here. There are a couple more of these rare moments of temporary insanity. I'm hoping I can reformat those without losing what I loved about them to begin with. Unfortunately it is late and I need to sleep rather than format them into a FF readable text.

So in other words, if you want to see the other two you'll have to tell me so to get um! R&R please.

Oh, and if you happen to know who Kirie is... then my secret identity has been blown! If not, then...cool. lol

Gamers' Court

-Serious Music begins to play as an announcer speaks over it-

On today's episode of Gamers Court... He was an over the top demon hunter, she was a prim and proper blogger with a wild streak. But what happens when a gamer takes things too far? We'll find out now as court is now in session!

"Now, let me see if I've got this straight. The plaintiff, one Dante, "Devil May Cry" Sparda is asking for a restraining order against the defendant, one Kirie "Blog Mistress" RSM. Is this correct?" The Judge asks.

"Yes your honor..." Dante gives a nervous look over to Kirie, who puckers her lips at him.

"Well then, tell me what's been going on." The Judge says, sitting back in his chair.

Dante clears his throat poignantly. "Well your honor, I met the defendant while she was playing my game. I admit I was rather taken by her blatant advances towards me, and I've never been one to turn down the ladies... But, then she began playing my game almost persistently! I thought I'd be free when the Special Edition came out, figuring maybe I'd get a break as she played as my brother Vergil. B-but things were escalating. She ignored the Vergil side story completely! S-she only wanted the new game to make it easier for her to attain th-the shirtless Dante costume! She began beating the game over and over again! Before I knew it I was playing the game half naked!" Dante pauses when his voice suddenly cracks. "I-I'm sorry, this is hard for me..."

"Quite all right, take your time..."

"I-I figured that things would calm down, you know, she couldn't get anymore depraved... But, suddenly she discovered that in Mission 3 that I could fling around the pole in a strip club" Dante continues, breaking out into sobs when he is finished. Kirie only smirks deviously, as if she is thinking of it.

"...and then, one night s-she put me into the Sparda outfit and forced me t-to..." Dante stops suddenly, breaking down.

"He has a nice sword your honor" Kirie says, shrugging.

"OH GOD!!!" Dante cries out sobbing uncontrollably as Vergil tries to comfort him.

"Oh my... That's enough for right now. I'd like to hear from the defendant... if she'd stop winking at the plaintiff and his brother!" The Judge says, banging his gavel at Kirie.

"My bad! Sorry" Kirie says with an angelic smile.

"Well Ms. RSM, I have a copy of a warning letter from Capcom. Please read this out loud to the court." The Judge hands the letter to the bailiff, who hands it to Kirie. She clears her throat and begins to read.

"Dear Ms. RSM,

It has come to our attention that you have once again unwholesomely mishandled one of our Capcom characters. Under Gaming Law 2492 B that states no gamer is to date, sexually engage, or fondle our characters in any way. You have been warned a total of 57 times of this and yet you continued to harass Dante from Devil May Cry despite our letters and his own request that you stop.

We have told you in that past that failure to heed our warnings will result in prosecution of the harshest type. There fore we had no choice but to contact a lawyer and serve you with a court summons. We advise you not to contact our character further until the court date below, as we will be keeping tabs on your behavior till then and any offenses you may commit will be added to the lawsuit currently in process..."

"Now Ms. RSM... I have a copy of all 57 warnings sent to you, as well as the additional 45 that were sent out AFTER you received this letter. Explain yourself!

"Ok, it's like this your honor. Dante is hot..." Kirie replies.

"..."

"..."

"... is that your defense?" The Judge asks bewildered.

"Pretty much, I mean, c'mon! Look at him!"

"Oh God, she's undressing me with her eyes!" Dante wails as Vergil puts an arm on his shoulder.

"Wearing the red boxers again, aintcha?" Kirie grins demonically.

"Ms. RSM! Stop harassing the plaintiff!" The Judge yells at Kirie. She only rolls her eyes at him.

"I didn't do anything!" She mumbles.

"She was touching my no no spot!" Dante whispers, horrified.

"You weren't saying "no no" when I was, were ya?" :D

"BOTH of you, stop it! Now Ms. RSM, if you can't restrain yourself I'll have you removed from this courtroom. It will be very hard to defend yourself if you're not here to... defend yourself... :0/ " The Judge clears his throat. "Now... you only have this one chance to set the record straight. I won't accept the attractiveness of the plaintiff as a reason to harass him."

"Why?" Kirie asks.

"WHY?" The Judge repeats, pausing for a moment. "B-because, it's not relevant."

"So you think he's ugly?" She asks.

Dante looks up at the judge hurt.

"I didn't say that!" The Judge replies defensively.

"So you think he's hot too?" She presses.

"Well, he's attractive, yes... But that's not the..."

"AHA!!!" Kirie suddenly yells, pointing at the judge. "Dante's got you in his pocket! MISTRIAL!!! The judge is in love with the plaintiff!"

The Judge bangs his gavel wildly. "STOP THAT! You're putting words in my mouth."

"It's the red leather right?" Dante grins at Vergil. "Not even men can resist um!"

"THAT DOES IT! BALIFF, REMOVE THAT GIRL! This court rules in favor of the plaintiff, restraining order is set in place. For your own safety Ms. RSM I am remanding you to seek psychological help so you're not a threat to yourself or any other games character."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO, Dante!!!" Kirie jumps on Dante but is pulled away screaming. "I'll always love you, we were meant for one another!!! I'll get out and come for you baby, wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

Dante is traumatized, as well as the rest of the courtroom.

-In some padded room-

Kirie sits alone, a stack of games next to her that feature Chibi humans or non human characters as part of her "therapy" to not get the hots for them anymore

"Oh yes Dante, you're a cute puppy aren't you?! Catch the ball boy, go get it!" Kirie plays Nintendogs on her DS but soon gets bored and turns it off. She begins sifting through the PS2 games and comes upon a box with no cover. "How'd this get in here?"

She puts disc into Playstation 2 and sits in waiting. Suddenly a characters internal monologue begins to play.

I received special training via a secret organization working under the direct control of the president. I was to assume the responsibility of protecting the new president's family.

Kirie looks dreamily at the character before her. "Well... HELLLOOOO LEON!!!" She grins as she gets an evil glint in her eyes.

The end?

Coming up, Dante Double Trouble. Want to see it? R&R!