CRAZY SHIPPING

I.

The evil blue-skinned villain continued to look over his latest doomsday device, making sure everything was ready for his newest plot for global domination. After giving the machine one last once over, he was satisfied.

"Soon, Shego." He went into his rant again. "Soon the satellite will be in position. At that precise moment, I will fire my Electromagnetic Pulse Cannon, which will then..."

"I know, I know." The green woman interrupted. "Which will then ricochet off the satellites orbiting the earth, blanketing the planet in an EMP wave, allowing you to control every machine in the world."

The blue genius smirked at his assistant. "You have been paying attention to me" he said.

"Like I had a choice" Shego said. "Your ranting was so loud that I couldn't focus on reading my magazine."

The henchwoman looked at the EMP cannon and gave an impressed smirk.

"I got to say, boss, this plan might actually work." She paused for moment before saying "Unless Kimmie arrives and fouls things up as usual." Although it would be worth it to see that cute sidekick of hers Shego thought to herself.

Shego was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice her blue-skinned employer blush when he heard Kim's name. Curious as to what just happened, the mad genius shrugged it off and said "Aw, but she won't be arriving, Shego. Thanks to the new cloaking technology I developed, the lair can't be located. Why it would take sheer dumb luck for Possible to find us. No, Shego. Operation Y3K will go off without a hitch!"

Shego gave him a puzzled look. "Operation Y3K?"

"You know, like the Y2K bug. That virus that was supposed to wipe out every machine on the planet when the new millennium started" the blue villain explained.

Shego sighed. Where does he come up with the crazy names for these schemes? she thought.

II.

Kim Possible surveyed the scenery, utterly baffled. After looking around for a fifth time, she turned on her Kimmunicator and contacted her tech guru, Wade.

"Are you sure this is where you traced the EMP signature, Wade?" she asked.

"I'm positive, Kim" Wade responded. "His lair is in that location, I just haven't pinpointed it yet. I'll get back to you when I have an update." And with that, the screen went blank.

Kim sighed, half annoyed, half impressed. He gets better each time we meet she thought. He truly is my greatest foe, not to mention the best-looking. Wait! Why did I think that?! He's not that handsome, is he? Maybe if he wasn't so blue. Wait! Did I just think of 'him' as handsome?! What am I thinking?! He's my arch-foe! You can't fall in love with your mortal enemy! Can you?

Kim was brought back from her struggling thoughts by a sound indicating that her sidekick was in trouble again. She turned to see him dangling over the cliff, tangled in his grapple line, again. Kim pulled her sidekick onto the ledge and untangled him.

"Thanks, Kim" he said. "I don't know what is wrong with that stupid grappler, but I think Wade needs to examine it."

Something needs to be examined, and it isn't the grappling hook Kim thought to herself. She looked at the man who helped her since her globetrotting adventures began and sighed. He was a nice guy, but sometimes his antics were too much for Kim.

"So, where's the lair?" her sidekick asked.

"Wade said it was here, but he doesn't know exactly where" Kim responded.

"Well, it shouldn't be that hard to fin-Yowl!"

Kim looked to see that he had stubbed his toe on a big rock. She didn't know whether to laugh or ask if he was okay. She watched as he check his foot, then looking at the rock, he muttered angrily and kicked at it, sending a thick cloud of dirt into the air. Then to Kim's amazement, the dust revealed a hidden air shaft to the invisible lair.

"Nice job" Kim said to her sidekick.

"Just doing what I do best" he said.

"Right" Kim responded. "Well, come on. We've got a mad scientist to stop" No matter how ferociously cute he is Kim thought to herself as she removed the cover to the air vent.

III.

Inside the lair, the blue scientist eagerly watched the countdown on his canon. He had synchronized the cannon to discharge at the exact moment the satellite was in range. Now he watched in fevered anticipation as the countdown reached its final length.

"One minute to go" the villain chortled "Then all the technology in the world will be mine to control and nothing will stop me!"

"Well then" said a familiar voice behind him "Call us nothing."

The scientist turned to see his teen foe and her goofy sidekick standing on the rafters.

"You?!" the blue man said in shock.

"The lair is impossible to locate, it would take sheer dumb luck for her to find us" Shego mocked her employer.

"Well, we are dealing with her sidekick, you know!" the genius said in his defense.

Shego was about to tell her boss not to take about Kim's sidekick like that, but decided against it, not wanting to reveal her personal feelings for the guy. Instead, she powered up and lunged at Kim.

"I'll handle Shego. You take care of the EMP cannon" Kim commanded her sidekick.

"I'm on it" he said.

As he ran towards the super weapon, he looked back and stared at Shego. She really is cute he thought. If only she wasn't so evil.

The sidekick ran towards the cannon, only to be blocked by the blue-skinned villain.

"Sorry, sidekick, but you're not getting anywhere near those controls" the scientist said.

"Oh, no?" said the sidekick. "We'll see about that" and he swept his leg under the villain's feet, causing him to fall over.

The sidekick reached the control panel just as the countdown reached ten. Looking around, he spotted a big red button. Hoping it would stop the cannon, the sidekick reached to push it but was shoved away by the blue scientist.

"Ha! I win!" the villain gloated as he turned to see the countdown reach zero and the cannon discharge.

The sidekick knew he had to act fast to stop the dastardly plot. Spotting a tube sticking out of the cannon, the sidekick grabbed it and pulled with all his might. The villain saw this and before he could stop the sidekick, the tube broke off with a snap. The villain watched as the discharge beam vanished and his machine started to shake, spark, and sputter. Kim and Shego stopped fighting long enough to see the machine begin to overload.

That guy never ceases to amaze me Kim and Shego thought simultaneously.

"Now look what you've done, you numbskull!" the scientist shouted to Kim's sidekick.

"Can't you at least show me some respect by saying my name?" the sidekick asked. "It's..."

"Do I care?!" the villain interrupted and shoved him out of the way.

The mad scientist climbed a ladder to the rafters and headed for the exit, but was blocked by Kim.

"You're not going anywhere" she said.

At that precise moment, Kim and the blue genius had the urge to kiss the other. Trying to figure out these strange feelings, the two only looked away from each other when the EMP cannon self-destructed, filling the lair with a bright flash of light.

IV.

The blue villain had covered his eyes and waiting for the impending doom that was in store for him. When he realized he was still flesh and blood five minutes after the explosion, he realized he had survived. He let his eyes readjust before observing the damage to his lair. The floor was cracked, the walls had lots of small holes, but what really ticked him off was that his roof was completely gone.

Good thing I got this place insured the villain thought to himself.

He looked to his left and saw that Kim was out cold. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful the girl was. Just then, she started to stir and wake up. The blue man ran as fast as he could, but soon felt himself pinned to the ground.

"Nice try" Kim said as she hoisted him up, holding his hands behind his back.

Kim then looked around to see if her sidekick was alright. A moan to the right told her that he lived. But upon looking in his direction, Kim saw that he didn't have long to live. The explosion had blown her sidekick right into the wall. He was now dangling for his life on a ledge. Before Kim could react, the ledge gave way and her sidekick began to fall to the ground. Just before the splat, a green and black figure jumped up and caught him.

The sidekick (or Kim and the villain) couldn't believe what Shego just did.

"Uh, thanks" the sidekick said sheepishly.

"No problem" Shego said with a gleam in her eye.

The sidekick stared at his savior and said "You know, you're very pretty in this light."

Shego giggled at the complement he had given her and the next thing both sidekicks knew, their lips met.

Kim and her foe couldn't believe what they were seeing. The blue scientist felt like gaging at sight of his assistant locking lips with the idiot. Realizing that Kim's grip on him had loosened; he took advantage of her distracted moment, broke free and ran off. Kim leaped over her foe in attempt to block his exit, but overshot her jump and went over the side of the rafter.

The villain thought Kim was a goner, and while part of him enjoyed the idea of Kim's death, another part was in mourning. Looking down to see where the body was, he saw Kim was hanging onto the rafter for dear life. The villain carefully thought out the situation and came up with three options:

1) Let Kim fall to her doom

2) Stomp Kim's fingers so she'll fall quicker

3) Save her life

The villain was surprised that he even considered the third option. Trying to deal with madness within him, he saw that Kim was only hanging on by three fingers. The villain couldn't understand what was with him, but something inside his heart told him to save her. Just as Kim's last finger gave way, a gloved hand grabbed her and pulled her to safety.

Kim found the idea of her arch-foe saving her even more unbelievable than what was going on with Shego and her sidekick.

"You saved my life" she said breathlessly.

"Yeah" said her foe. "I guess I did."

"Why?"

"I don't know myself, but something inside me couldn't stand the idea of you dying" the scientist responded.

After much thinking, a crazy thought came to the blue man.

"I know this sounds ridiculous, but...I think I love you!" he cried.

He was right, it did sound ridiculous, but Kim couldn't help but enjoy hearing it. What really surprised her was that she had an urge to smile.

"You think you love me?" she asked.

"No" the scientist said after a minute. "I DO love you!"

Kim couldn't believe this was happening. While her brain found it wrong on all levels, her heart felt it was just right.

Kim had to ask "How long have you felt this way?"

"I guess I always have" the scientist responded. "Since I first met you. I guess I've been really trying to conquer the world to impress you."

Kim found this conversation to be getting weirder by the minute, but she didn't want it to end.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I'm positive. I really love you" her arch-foe said. "I know it sounds crazy for a super villain to fall for his arch-enemy."

"Yeah" said Kim. "Just as crazy as a superhero to fall in love with her arch-foe"

At first, the blue scientist was confused by Kim's words but soon realized what she meant. The two began to bring their lips together when Kim pulled away.

"Wait" she said. "Do you really love me?"

"With all my heart" the blue man said. "I'm surprised I actually have one."

"If you really love me, then you'll give up being evil" said Kim.

The blue man was shocked by this.

"Give up being a villain? Are you cra-"

He was cut off by Kim who place her lips on his. After a solid fifteen seconds, they parted. Kim was surprised at how good it felt. She then noticed her blue foe was in a daze. The next words she spoke were so soft yet they were enough to snap him out of his blank state.

"There's plenty more where that came from if you become good. If you do that, I'll have Wade pull strings and get you a good parole officer, pardoning you from every evil thing you've done."

The villain weighted his options. "Give up being evil, get the girl you love. Continue to try taking over the world, lose the one girl you care about with all your heart. Decisions, decisions." After much careful thinking, the scientist gave his answer.

"Alright. For you, I'll give up being a villain" he said.

Kim was ecstatic. She was so happy she gave her former arch-foe another kiss. After breaking the buss, Kim stared at her new boyfriend's face.

"What?" he asked.

"We've got to do something about that blue skin" Kim said. "I've got some make-up that'll take care of it."

"Aw, can't I keep it? the blue BF asked. "It makes me feel distinguished."

Kim shook her head. "No way. If you're going to be my boyfriend, you're going to look like everyone else."

The blue scientist knew he couldn't win, he hadn't won since he first crossed paths with Kim, so he accepted her terms and the two former foes embraced.

"I love you, Possible" said the scientist.

Kim looked at him. "If we're going to be dating then you should use my first name. From now on, you call me Kim."

"Then I suppose you should start calling me by my real name" said the scientist.

Kim smiled at her new boyfriend. "Which is..."

The blue man sighed and said the name he had forgone when he became a villain "Ron...Ron Stoppable."

Kim looked at Zorpox/Ron and sighed. She had heard his story. He had a rotten childhood and as a result became the youngest super villain in history. When they first met, Kim couldn't believe that someone her age could cause as much evil as she did good. Now his life...correction their life was heading in a new direction. Kim smiled at the former teen villain, who returned it. The two former foes then brought their lips together for a third time.

Back on the ground, Shego had seen the whole thing. I knew Zorpox had a thing for Kimmie, I just knew it! When those two first met, I could tell there were sparks between them.

Just then, Shego heard someone clear their throat. She looked in her arms to notice she was still holding Drew.

"Oh, sorry about that" she said as she sat Lipsky down.

"Actually, I was enjoying it. Anyway, thanks again for the save."

"Anytime" Shego responded.

Drew looked up to the rafters to see the two teens were still in a lip lock. "Looks like your boss is out of the villain business" he said to Shego.

"Yep" Shego replied. "Guess that means I'm gonna have plenty of free time." She smiled at the sidekick and asked "Wanna catch a movie?"

Drew's eyes lit up. "I'd love to."

The two took each other's hand and began to leave the rubble remains of the lair.

Shego couldn't resist asking "So tell me, Lipsky. How did you become Kimmie's sidekick?"

"That's a long story" said Drew. "I was once an unemployed college reject living with his mother. Then one day I saw this ad in the newspaper about a teen hero looking for a sidekick in her globetrotting missions..."

The End