Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy

(Warning: If you have not read Father of the Bridepart one then you will not understand what is going on in part two…read part one then proceed to part two-I promise part one is a blast)

Disclaimer: I don't own it at all 'cept the plot. Wow I cant believe that this story made it to part two! It seems like only yesterday that I started part one along side Lonely in Gorgeous…

Sasuke: Didn't part 2 to that fic crash and burn?...it was about Gaara and his fan girl right?

Sera: Yes.

Itachi: Wont you be afraid that this one will to? Don't sequels usually not do so well then the original?

Sera: Shut it.

Sasuke: Aren't you afraid that you'll fail again?

Sera: I'm warning you…

Itachi:…I bet you didn't even think through the initial plot…how…sad.

Sera:…THAT'S IT!

-flurry of tiny fists in fight cloud are seen…if you look close enough you can see Itachi with a black eye and Sasuke being strangled-

Sera:-smiles-Now here is the story everyone had been waiting for. I introduce Father of the Bride 2: Rise of Grandpa Twitchy

(Alternate Universe)

Grandfather…I will be a grandfather?

Now I know what you must be thinking, that I could handle this after all I got through the nightmare wedding and that Hinata is a married adult so that it was bound to happen, right?

Wrong.

As I sit in my office staring at my computer screen where I should no doubt be working, I couldn't help but to go down the shinny golden path that is memory lane-Hinata being born, Hinata's first words, Hinata's first step towards me in her mothers garden, her wispy dark midnight blue hair swaying, her cheeks pink, her toothless grin.

Hinata's first day at school, Hinata's high school graduation (and yes I skipped the middle school years-it was during that time she had met with Inuzuka and Uzumaki…other then that I will not elaborate more on those hellish three years)

Hinata going off to collage, the beginning of my frequent anxiety problems…and then meeting that damned Uchiha pervert demon bastard, then she ultimately marrying him.

I rub the bridge of my nose in frustration willing away the nauseating feeling in my gut, you know, the one that tells you that Karma is going to roll up your street with a very slow vehicle and shoot you as soon as you step out to grab the news paper in your favorite robe and fuzzy slippers…no? Oh, well that's just me then.

Well, I sigh, at least the twitching has stopped. My cell phone rings and I answer it after the first ding.

"Hiashi here." Why cant I ever just say hello?

"Dad, it's Sasuke."

"Oh…hello…" Why cant that pervert just roll over in a ditch and die?

"I'm in the area so I'll be seeing you for lunch. Just calling to remind you."

Lunch? With that Pervert Rapist?

"Lunch?"

He seems to think for a moment, I can almost see him scratch his idiot chin trying to think with his idiot brain…what an idiot.

"Didn't Neji tell you? I called him this morning."

Ah, so that's it. My idiot of a nephew had forgotten to give me the message. Bless that little dears heart perhaps I will place Nair in his conditioner bottle…oh no bad Hiashi! You are not Hanabi…Hanabi is the evil one…Note to Self: Slyly give Hanabi the Nair Neji idea.

"Well then, I guess that I will be seeing you in an hour or so, Sasuke."

We hang up, and now my chest is feeling tight, my head is throbbing…is this how it feels like when you are about to die?

"Why me?"

Suddenly the office door slams opened and bounces in Anko Mitarashi, my new secretary. She hands me a few files and smiles….now this would not be so bad if said smile wasn't a lecherous I'm-gonna-rape-you grin and it would be less terrifying if her eyes stayed elsewhere except on me while she gave me a once over then a flirtatious wink.

"Bossy-Kins." She says before bouncing out of the office, but not before blowing me a kiss.

Now you must be wondering why I have yet to fire her. Well I should start at the beginning.

It was during one of the Friday poker nights at Uzumaki's place. Kushina Uzumaki's place, not to be confused with her good for nothing son Naruto.

I digress, anyway, while we were getting wonderfully buzzed, listening to Shikaku Nara and Shibi Aburame talk openly about having dated the same woman in collage while Choza munched on some peanuts. Inoichi flirted with Kushina, whom rolled her eyes and reminded him that her husband, Minato Namikaze, whom was on a business trip, was his boss.

I sat quietly drinking my beer on the old worn couch in the basement watching a football game with Fugaku and Ibiko Morino. Time seemed to pass by slowly before Fugaku turned to me with a sly smile.

"You a bettin' man Hiashi?"

He was drunk of course.

"Maybe."

Ibiki, whom I suspect was not drunk at all, turned in our direction, the game forgotten on the screen. He smirked. "What's this I hear of a bet?"

Sadist.

To make a long story short I lost the bet, which was to see whether or not Kushina would throw Inoichi out of the house by force or politely threaten him to leave-damn my drunken mind for thinking she'd just ask him to leave! Damn her inhuman strength!

Loser of the bet would have to work with Anko Mitarashi for a solid six months and I was said loser.

Joy.

Now I was working with a woman, while not at all bad to the eye, she was quite attractive with her purple hair pinned up and her short skirts and curvaceous body, but one would over look her attractiveness. She was insane, loved to grope, and perverted.

Like just the other day she and I were stuck in the elevator. I was on my corner, holding my brief case tightly, she was on her corner…licking her lips in my direction and wagging her eyebrows.

By the time the elevator opened she was in my personal space with her hand on my ass the other in my hair.

Brother in heaven, why must I suffer so?

But I knew he was laughing alongside my wife. Laughing and pointing and having mint tea…damn I want mint tea!

I looked at my watch and noted that it was near lunch time.

"Tea and some sandwiches…I can get to Pom-Pom Lei's café in and be back in time if I leave now…"

Just then my office door opened. I stared at the thick black hair, black eyes and smirk. Oh it was him…my Son-In-Law from hell wearing a designer suit.

"Sasuke…"

"Hey dad. I've come to get you for lunch, I want to share some news with you."

Oh yippee I cant wait.

"It's about Gai and Lee."

Twitch

Twitch

Twitch

Ah I was waiting for it, just waiting for it to return.

Well I hope that this wont effect Hinata's children in anyway. I can see it now.

Grandpa Twitchy.

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Sera: Hiashi is BACK! Hahahah I love writing from his POV, he's just too funny. Anyone ever notice that he talks to himself a lot. There is a lot of self loathing in there too as well as loathing just about anything. He surely does hate Sasuke huh? At the end of part one he started to like him then the call came. Hinata being pregnant just made him hate Sasuke more, if even possible.

Anko is his flirty secretary. She's crazy, sexy and doesn't know the meaning of the words "DON'T" or "STOP" instead turning the words into "Please don't stop" She's going to be fun I just know it.

Neji and Hanabi will make a comeback as the Evil Hiashi Pranksters-you should also read my fic Bonds. Which is about them bonding over making Hiashi miserable.

Hiashi: …I hate you…

Sera: No you don't! Besides you don't get enough fic love. You're either made into an ass-hole or a sappy weirdo. At least here people can see you as funny.

Hiashi: They laugh at my pain…

Sera: Because it's funny.

Hiashi: -pales- …I hate you so much…

Sera: Review and I'll get more up…no flames please!