Chapter Six

Kikanshinki Happy: Backfire!

Rukia stopped in the middle of the crosswalk, her heart skipping a beat. The pressure in the atmosphere shifted as a waft of dry, warm air rippled through the empty streets, making the skin on her arms tingle.

Ichigo's reitsu had just flared. Her eyes widened. She had bound him up with kido and just left him in the middle of a public lawn, unable to move and defend himself. A Hollow could be eating him at that very moment!

It was only a few blocks away so if she hurried — "RUKIA!"

Before Rukia could launch herself into a sprint, Ichigo wheeled around the corner. His cloths were soaking wet, and his aura was raging wildly. He was covered in clumps of broken grassy blades, and there was a smudge of wet soil on his t-shirt. He was irritated and as drenched as Rukia.

How could Rukia have forgotten that he could break out of that restraint?

"Rukia!"

Rukia ducked her head and hurried forward, trying to think of something clever to say. He was going to twist his fingers around her throat, even if he did deserve punishment for shoving her into the pool.

"Hey, I'm talking to you."

Ichigo grabbed her shoulder; his fingers were cold, gripping the brim of her wet collar bone. His tone had gone soft around the edge; Rukia could hear the oncoming of a smirk in his voice, "You can't just try to kiss someone—" he slowly wheeled her around to face him "— and then just chicken out."

At first, Rukia resisted as he pressed his lips against her forehead, brushing against her hairline. However, she quickly succumbed to the smell of wet grass and damp soil. The warmth of his auric energy seeped through her sodden dress, and making the air inside her skirt thick and humid.

He really should learn to control his Reitsu.

He kissed her again on her cheek, lingered, and then finally moved to her lips. She savored it as long as she could, even when a flood of white light filled the street.

Beep, beep!

They both jumped and turned to face the twin blaring suns hovering before them in the middle of the street. "Shit, Rukia," Ichigo muttered.

Rukia closed her eyes, wishing that she would melt into a sloppy puddle on the asphalt, and disappear from the grinning man in the front seat. Of all people, why, why did it have to be Kurosaki Isshin?

- - -

Ichigo was normally dedicated to protecting his family, but at the moment he was considering the massacre of his father. His sisters didn't help either. The whole way home it was nothing but, "Well, now we know why she insisted with sleeping in his closet." "I hear wedding bells in the near future!" And, "Ichi-nii, why is there grass in your hair?"

That last comment was answered by a grinning Isshin, "Getting dirty on a public lawn, eh?"

Ichigo crossed his arms, flushed, and muttered a few curses. "You wish old man." He glanced at Rukia, who didn't seem too thrilled but at the same time she wasn't wearing a sickly sweet smile either. Her cheeks were burning red and turned even redder with every mortifying comment.

Ichigo scowled. "Aren't you pissed?" he said through clamped teeth. Figures that they were just getting home from Karin's big soccer tournament, even if it was midnight.

Rukia shook her head, staring at her lap. "No."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because," she whispered. "When we get home I can just use kikanshinkito replace their memories."

"Isn't that an abuse of mission aids?"

Rukia gave him a flat and desperate look. "Since when do you care about abusing rules?"

She had a point.

"Rukia-chan, I would be more than happy to deliver your future children—"

The two exchanged red-cheeked glances. "Memory replacementsounds like a great plan," Ichigo said.

"It's really not that complicated—"

"As soon as he parks the car," Rukia agreed, reaching for her pocket where the device was hidden. Until the car came to a complete they would just have to bear with the humiliation.

- - -

She was aroused from the tranquility of sleep as something soft and spongy slid up her leg, grating against the back of her thigh. There was a convulsing lump under the blankets. "Nee-san…"

She propped herself up on her elbow, trying to see in the darkness. "The hell…ah!" Rukia shrieked and bolted upright as two tiny paws snaked beneath her nightgown. A felt claw picked at line of her panties.

"KON!"

There was a loud thunk as she instinctively pinned Kon to the wall with her foot. Livid, Rukia ground the heel of her foot into the plush's yellow fabricated face. She would make him eat wood molding and smelly sock fabric for his dirty sins.

"You sick…disgusting…little pervert!" Rukia stomped on him once for every word; thunk, thunk…thunk…thunk, thunk!

Kon said something, flailing his arms about from under Rukia's foot but whatever it was, it most likely a futile plea for mercy. "I'll kill you for that and don't think I won't—"

The door slid open suddenly. Without a solid backing to support her kicks, Rukia fell out of the closet.

"For God's sake, Rukia," Ichigo said impatiently, "It's three in the morning. What the hell are you doing?"

"You!" She seized Kon and threw him at Ichigo as hard as she could. "You're perverted plushy was groping me in my own bed!"

Ichigo scowled, pulling Kon off his face. "Well, you're the one who's wearing a nightgown."

"I have personal boundaries and they should be respected in life and death—"

Kon thrust a felt claw at her. There was a small wad of cotton coming out of the side of his head, where the seam had broken. "You didn't have a problem getting all smoochy with Ichigo in the street last night—"

"Hey! How the hell do you know about that? We blasted everyone's memories—"

"—Except for Kon's," Rukia interrupted, clambering into the closet, searching for the kikanshinki.

"Rukia?"

"What?"

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck. "Um…your nightgown…"

With a groan of frustration, Rukia reached behind herself and yanked the white cloth over her exposed bottom. Her stars had definitely drifted off course.

"Here it is!"

In order to use the device properly without it backfiring and missing the intended target, Ichigo had to pin Kon down with his foot. "Nee-san, don't do to this to me," he screeched. "I won't tell—"

"That's just screaming bull shit," Ichigo said. "Does that thing even work on Mod Souls?"

Rukia shrugged. "I've only used it on humans."

"Nee-san!"

"But if it doesn't work we can always resort to more sadistic measures." She pressed the button and there was a small click followed by a poof of white smoke. The ducky head swayed on the spring, bouncing back and forth like a grinning Jack-in-the-box. Kon instantly went limp.

"I guess it worked," Ichigo said, removing his foot.

"The replacement memories are random," Rukia said thoughtfully. "I wonder what he'll remember instead." She also wondered what variation of replacement memories Isshin and Ichigo's sisters had received; she had never used kikanshinkifor anything other than Hollow related situations.

Considering that the replacement memories were random an uncontrollable, Rukia hoped that it wasn't anything

- - -

Yoruichi choked on her beverage. She rubbed a finger inside her ear. "Angry what?"

"Sex." Isshin said it like the way someone would say the word 'daisy' or 'flatulence—' with and a small grin and a snicker. "Intercourse. You know, with the uh-uh's and oh-oh's."

Kisuke's fan fluttered a little faster to hide his smirk. Yoruichi closed her eyes.

"I caught them last night, and I have a specific memory of loud voices and irate wall banging— they were terribly embarrassed."

Neither of them believed it. Angry sex just didn't seem like a favorite activity of Ichigo and Rukia, of all people. Besides, Yoruichi and Kisuke both suspected that this 'memory' of catching them 'in action' was a figment of Isshin's wishful imagination.

"That's…" Kisuke trailed off.

"It's asinine," Yoruichi said bluntly. "Ichigo can't even look at a naked woman without blushing. Besides, Rukia's not stupid. Defending a little sister's honor is the goal of every noble big brother. Bya-kun would have a fit."

"Although," Kisuke said from behind his fan. "It appears that he hasn't heard about their 'phantom romance.'"

Yoruichi and Isshin both turned on him. "Phantom what?" they said at the same time.

"The phantom romance," Kisuke said with a hint of amusement in his voice. "Matsumoto came here a few days talking about strange rumors and a phantom romance concerning Ichigo and Rukia. Apparently it's spreading through Soul Society like wildfire."

"Well then why hasn't Byakuya—"

"Maybe he's not around to hear it."

"My son is having a phantom romance? What the hell is a phantom romance?" Isshin said. However, he didn't seem to mind too much; he seemed more bothered by the fact that Kisuke heard about it first.

It might have been a terrible move to have said anything in the first place, but Kisuke thought it would be much better if he explained it rather having Isshin jump to wild conclusions.

Kisuke fanned himself as he spoke, "A phantom romance is a romance that exists, but rarely shows itself to the public. Although it is not particularly an angry poltergeist, but the romance itself is a phantom nonetheless. Of course, as with every ghost, there are skeptics and then are the believers."

In other words: Isshin was a hard core believer and Yoruichi was a down to earth skeptic; she could still vividly remember revealing herself to Ichigo for the first time.

"On the other hand," Yoruichi said. "It might be fun to meddle."

Kisuke looked at her inquisitively. "What do you mean?"

"If this ghost does exist, let's drag it out of the attic. Meddle. Tamper. We'll bust this ghost like the ones on TV. I think it would be terrible fun, don't you?" The more she thought about it, the more liked the idea. She would have to do something Byakuya and the college issue, but that minor tasks.

In a time of peace, where there was little conflict between the three worlds, there wasn't much to occupy the attention. It could be interesting, those results, but first thing was first. "Isshin, when was the last time you saw a kikanshinki?"

- - -

A/n: Well, I'm not sure what to think of this chapter, but it ties to future plot ideas…and I hope it's at least satisfactory. I really wanted to throw the kikanshinki idea out there for later events, even though a memory Chikan might have been more efficient. Oh well, difficult chapters aren't that uncommon for me.

Thank you reviewers for ideas and Al May for plot discussions. I appreciate it!