When I watch him sleeping, all the tension leaves his face. All I'm left with is a smiling man, dreaming peacefully and satisfied.
Satisfied about what? Ha, well, knowing him, the answer should be pretty obvious.
When he's sleeping, he looks so peaceful, so gentle, so… soft.
And if you have any idea of how this idiot of mine is, you'd know he's nowhere near that when he's conscious.
I've always loved watching over him like this, with his head on my chest, (where he will undoubtedly resume the night's events when he wakes up) his soft snores tickling the fine hairs of my skin. But shh! Don't tell him I said his snores are soft. He'd probably start something with me, saying his snores are loud and manly, to try and protect his masculine pride. His hair always ends up brushing against my shoulders. It's actually become quite soft, now that he bathes on a regular basis. Though he'd never admit it, I'm pretty sure it's because of me.
It's been about three years since he came back to me. I can remember that day so perfectly.
I was just coming home from the teashop that I work at, when I saw a familiar silhouette on down the road. At first, I couldn't believe it was him. Refused to. Because if I did, it would just hurt all the more if that man wasn't really him. But even though I tried to snuff the hope, it flickered brightly, just because his hair gave it all away.
I ran to the silhouette, still unsure, but fueled by my somewhat reluctant hope. I stood in front of him, panting, with my hands on my knees. I could picture this man looking down at me, with a bored, barely concealed happiness to see me. Well, at least I hoped he was happy. I mean, why else would he come all this way? And then a thought occurred to me. What if he wasn't here for me? What if he didn't know I lived here? What if he came here to see some new whores?
These thoughts scared me, and the small hope within me was reduced to nothing. I stiffened, not wanting to look up.
"'Ey Fuu. Why the hell are you bent over like that? It's like you just wan' someone to come over and fuck yer ass or somethin'."
Normally, I'd be pretty pissed if he just outright said that to me. But this circumstance wasn't normal, not by a long shot. I haven't seen him in three years! So, looking into the eyes of the man I have long admitted I love, I grinned and tackled him to the ground.
"Mugen!"
He oomphed, not expecting the sudden weight. We must've been quite a picture. Me straddling him right in the middle of the road like that. "What the hell, Fuu? Yeno, if you wanted me ta fuck you, you coulda just said so. Or do you just like being on top?" He waggled his eyes and gave me that leery grin I missed.
I blushed and quickly got off of him. "Mugen, what are you doing here? How'd you find me? Were you just stopping by?" I rushed through these questions, not wanting to wait for his answers one by one.
He got up and brushed himself off, refusing the hand I had offered him. "I heard from Four Eyes that you were here, and since I have nothing better ta do, I decided ta drop by."
My cheery mood faltered, just a little bit.
"Oh, so you're not staying?" I asked carefully.
He looked down at me. "It depends." He flashed me that grin again.
I rolled my eyes at him, trying to hide my excitement at seeing him again. "Well, I own a house now, so, uh, if you're gonna stay for more than today, I have room."
"The hell did you get a house, Fuu?" He cocked an eyebrow at me, obviously thinking I'd gotten by the house illegally or something.
"Pfft, you'd be astounded at what three years of growing and tips can do to your money." At this, he looked me up and down, apparently seeing my growth for the first time. If he liked what he saw, I didn't find out until weeks later when as Jin would say, Mugen claimed me.
The people in my town didn't take to me being with Mugen lightly. The bands on his arms and legs were intimidating to the rest of the town, who had taken me in like a long lost daughter. They weren't exactly thrilled when they found out Mugen was living with me either.
I didn't care. They didn't know the real Mugen, never bothered to look past the tattoos and the rough exterior. They didn't know that without Mugen, I'd probably dead or raped. Or both. No, they didn't know. The only person who did was Jin. And though he wasn't exactly ecstatic about it, I knew that he accepted that Mugen and I finally ended up together. It was, as he said, 'obviously inevitable.'
How he'd come by that conclusion, I don't know. All I knew at the time was that I loved Mugen and he was around to stay. Or if he wasn't, then I'd make him.
I knew Mugen wasn't one to show affections openly, at least, not in any form besides sex. But even with this knowledge, after a while, I grew uneasy, because he had not said that he loved me, even though I'd told him I loved him enough times to keep it from doubting it. He could feel my unease, growing frustrated with me when I said it was nothing. I chose not to tell him because I knew that if I did, he'd either say he would, but not mean it, or not say it at all. I couldn't decide which was worse. I had wanted Mugen to say it himself, without making him feel like he had to. 'Just once,' I told myself. 'Just once, I'd like to hear him say it.'
It haunted me for a while, up to the point where it was all I could think about. It seemed to follow me everywhere, even unconsciously.
Apparently, I said this in my dreams, because when I woke up one day, Mugen was staring at me openly across the room. He seemed to be a bit irritated, but more on the confused side. I wasn't sure.
"What was that all about?"
"What was what Mugen?" I honestly had no clue as to what he was talking about as I was unaware I was talking in my sleep.
"You've been mumbling all night, I couldn't sleep because 'a ya."
"Mumbling? Mumbling what?"
"Just once, just once!" His voice going into a falsetto, trying to imitate mine. "Just once what, huh, Fuu?" His expression changed at this, as if he were trying to hide something. I thought I could still see some of it. His eyes were… hurt?
I tried hard to keep my tears in, to rein in my growing anger. It would not do to fight over something like this.
"It's nothing Mugen. Calm down." I whispered, still trying not to cry at his harsh expression.
"Nothing! What the fuck do you take me for, bitch? That's the same reason you've been givin' me the past coupla weeks! The hell could it be nothing!?" If he was mad before, he was seething now.
"It's nothing, Mugen, ok? You wouldn't understand anyways!"
"Well if there was something ta understand then obviously it's not 'nothing'!"
I looked up at him, caught. What was I supposed to say to that? 'I'm feeling insecure because you haven't told me you love me.'? Psh, that wasn't going to work on Mugen!
I stayed silent for a while. Mugen, not liking my silence, stood up and walked over to me.
"What do you want from me Fuu?" His lack of cursing and soft tone was not lost on me. I looked up helplessly, not sure of what to say.
He grabbed my arms, desperately gripping them. "Am I not good enough for ya?" His words were muffled against my neck.
"Mugen," I grabbed his shoulders and held him out in front of me. "Mugen, don't EVER think that." I lowered my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at him. "I love you." Now it was my turn to bury my face in his neck.
The tears started to flow down my face then, and I clung onto Mugen even tighter. I felt him stiffen for a second. I knew he hated it when I cried. Especially if he thought it was because of him.
"That's what this is all 'bout, huh Fuu?" I looked up, my vision blurry through my tears.
"Ya think I don't love you?" I nodded, not sure of what to say.
"Fuu, I'll be damned if I said I was staying with you just fer the sex. And I'm pretty sure Four Eyes would be on my ass, too." He chuckled at this. Then he held me at arm's length and looked me straight in the eye.
"Yeno I ain't no sap. Did you really expect me to shower you with pink shit or whatever it is that those retards do when they wanna get laid?"
I shook my head, "No Mugen, it's just… it's just nice to hear it sometimes."
He gave me this weird look. "Damn, Fuu. Well, if that's what it takes to make ya stop crying-"
"No Mugen!"
"What the hell is it now?"
"I… I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it." I looked down again.
"Shit, Fuu. Now since when do I say something I don't mean?"
I had no answer to that, so I just stayed quiet. Next to me, Mugen sighed.
"Look here, Fuu." I turned my gaze upon his face. The face I'd gotten so used to waking up in the morning to.
"I've stayed with you for longer than I planned ta in the first place. I never expected ta sleep with you. I never saw any of this shit coming. But if I could change the way things turned out, fuck, I wouldn't."
I smiled at his confession, my heart lightening a bit.
"Damn I sound like a goddamn sap." I giggled. Mugen was cute when he was trying to be romantic.
He shot me a look to say 'Shut up, I'm doing this for you.'
"What I'm trying ta get across here is, if all this shit that I've done for you means I love ya, then hell, Fuu, you should know that I do. And I'm sorry for making you cry by not telling ya earlier." He mumbled the last part and turned his head away from me.
I grabbed his chin and turned him to face me and grinned at him. "I love you too Mugen." I told him and kissed him deeply. Mugen responded eagerly. He was never one to refuse a kiss.
I remember that after a whole night long of love making, Mugen turned to me and said, "Shit, Fuu. If that's what I get for telling ya something that ya shoulda known anyways, I'mma do that more often!" He grinned at me. My favorite kind of Mugen grin. The suggestive, 'damn-you're-hot-let's-have-lots-of-sex' grin. And I flashed him one of my own grins. The special one. Saved just for him.
Well, it's about the time Mugen should be waking up.
He always gains some consciousness in the middle of the morning, though I'm never one to complain. I always get a pleasant surprise when he wakes me up the way only he can. Tonight I'm happy to say, he doesn't disappoint. I swear, Mugen has this effect on me. Even the lightest touch sends me flying. Like right now, oh gods. His body is moving. I can feel him breathing on me. Oh gods, his tongue! That skilled appendage does its job, and does it well. Mugen never fails to leave me gasping for air.
A while later, the spots in my eyes disappear to reveal a smirking Mugen. Mugen has a special smirk too. The 'I-make-you-feel-good-and-I'm-damn-proud' smirk. I'm still too busy recovering from Mugen's libido attack to respond to it.
"That was good, huh Fuu?"
"Yeah… It was," I gasped out. At that point, I didn't care if Mugen's ego inflated hundredfold. That was damn good! And all he had to use was his tongue. I couldn't even imagine how I'd feel when he used, you know, the rest of his body. Well, actually I could. And with Mugen, one thing's for sure, the sex is always good.
"Yeno, you're damn hot when you come. All those little sounds ya make. The big ones too. I especially like it when ya scream my name." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"Yeah, Mugen? Well I like it when I'm on top." I climbed up to straddle him, loving the somewhat surprised expression on his face. I was never really like this, only occasionally. He raised an eyebrow at me, amused. "Huh, you think you can handle this?" His eyes held that teasing glint.
I laughed. "Let's see just how long you last, eh Mugen?" I teased right back.
He smirked. "Is that a challenge?"
"Yes Mugen. Yes it is."
Hehe, I'll leave the rest to your imagination. I haven't yet gathered the balls to write a full out lemon.
Thanks to Lunarwench for beta-ing!
Don't forget to review on your way out:)