I want to protect you but I can't (part 23)

Disclaimer: I now own bills for the upcoming College year and yep, still no Bandai!

!!Cagalli's POV!!

My body had certain stiffness to it that I just couldn't shake.

My neck felt out of place, my lower back had ten bricks pushing against it no matter how I was lying or standing, and my legs were tight as if I had been stretching them all night.

Not that I got any sleep at night. I couldn't sleep at night, not with Shani beside me. Especially when his arm is draped over me or when he gets up close behind me.

If I were to blame myself for what's happened, it won't make it go away so I've tried my best to live with it though it kills me to see Athrun react to how close Shani gets to me. He knows I hate it and he knows he was the one who made the deal.

"You look horrible." I was interrupted from my thoughts and looked up to see Athrun.

"So do you." I replied.

It was later at night and I had been 'resting' throughout the day. I couldn't sleep at night and I was too sore to sleep during the day so I wouldn't exactly call it resting.

My new roommates and Athrun had gone off to work and I was left to rest. As much as I loved Shani leaving, I hated seeing Athrun leave so quick and without many words. What he does do however, is very sweet.

!!Earlier that day, still Cagalli's POV!!

Shani swung his legs over the bed and hosted himself up.

'He seems happy and well rested.' I thought bitterly as I heard him get ready for another day.

Clotho groggily made his way over to the light command button by the door and Orga muttered something intelligible as he covered his head with his pillow.

I was still lying on the bed with my eyes wide open as if I had never went to bed in the first place when Athrun sat up and turned to me.

He didn't say anything to me, only brushed some hair out of my face and stroked my cheek before he quickly got up and changed himself.

They all seemed to finish at the same time and without anything holding them back, Clotho and Orga left without saying a word.

By then I had moved to a sitting position on the edge of the bed and was watching Athrun collect all his cards and keys he'd need throughout the day.

"Don't go too far." I heard right in my left ear as Shani leaned closer to me and stroked my lower lip with his index finger. I wasn't expecting it but I wasn't shocked either; he just does it too much.

"...don't do that..." I said even though he never listens.

"Stop being so difficult." He said and I saw his eyes narrow at the corner of my eye. I still had the mark from yesterday when he slapped me across the cheek. I'll never forget the look on Athrun's face as he got into a fight with Shani knowing he would have to summit in the end.

"It's just...your fingers are cold." As the lie came out of my mouth the words got progressively quieter.

"See you later then." He believed me easily since I had grown more afraid of him each day. He kissed my temple and stood at the door just singing a show tune (evilace: Not literally a show tune, but he's just happy) waiting for Athrun to follow. He never left us alone in the same room.

Athrun walked over to me and kneeled down on the floor. He wrapped his arms around my lower back and I brought my hands behind his head and tangled my fingers in his hair, lowering my head to kiss his hair.

He placed his ear on my belly for a couple of seconds then lifted his head to kiss both my stomach and then to my lips for just another couple seconds.

The whole thing lasted seven Shani foot taps on the floor. It was too short and both Athrun and I wanted more.

"Get something to eat." He whispered before leaving, a slightly more pissed Shani in tow.

!!Back to present!!

Athrun was still looking at me as I slowly got into a sitting position on the bed. I focused on his hands the entire time I struggled to sit up and noticed how white his knuckles were.

"Shani, isn't back yet...do you mind...ahh?" Athrun wasn't even listening to me but in a matter of moments he was there; with his arms around me and I was standing in his embrace.

"How are you doing, are you sore anywhere?" Athrun held me a little way from his face and scanned be up and down and then rested his hand on my cheek.

"I'm sorry I let him hit you. I wanted to...I just couldn't..." Athrun looked away from me for a moment before changing the subject.

"Cagalli, how would you like to take a walk with me, I'm sure it'll stretch out your muscles in your legs." He said.

"Well, Shani might come home early...I...I don't want to make it harder for you. He might get mad at me and then...I just can't stand it when you look so defeated when you can't do anything about it." I said hysterically.

"Shani's on a two hour Sortee which is why I got off my shift early, I don't want you to stay here a second longer." I found myself being pulled to the door.

"Athrun? We can't go too far...where are we going?" I said when we started to pick up speed in a certain direction.

"Please Athrun, he will be so mad." I said when the door to our old room opened.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I've been planning something since yesterday and I don't want the baby to arrive yet."

He stopped and turned to me just as the door closed behind us, leaving only the small half dead light in our room to illuminate the area.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this when you're so sore and tired but if we don't, I can't promise Shani won't hurt you." Athrun pulled out my old sweater and a coat for me to put on. He did the same and swung a small back pack over his shoulder.

"Don't worry."Athrun said as I held his hand.

We weaved though halls and corridors until I had no idea which direction we were going. Athrun ducked us around cameras and guards and through stairs and elevators. By the time we reached the launching deck and battle/training area, I had sore feet to add to my list.

"We're here, stay quiet and keep your head down." Athrun whispered to me and I nodded in agreement before keeping my head completely down.

It wasn't like the sky was important to look at. I had been stuck down under ground for how many months and nothing had changed. The Earth had given up on itself and sun abandoned it. Didn't the sun know that there were still things on this planet that needed it?

"Athrun? Can I ask you something?" I said quietly.

"What's wrong, are you feeling ok?" He said louder than I had which might have meant he was closer to me than I thought.

"No, no...Everything's a little painful but that's what it was like this morning. I had another important question for you." I said matching his volume.

"Then shoot." He encouraged me on.

"Do you ever come up here at night?" I dared a peek out of the corner of my eyes.

He wasn't looking at me but all around us, constantly on guard.

"Not really but sometimes when we get a fresh shipment I come up to inspect and retrieve it. Other than that I never come out, but rush back to the room to see you." He saw me looking at him and I looked away, back to the ground.

"Did you ever see the moon? Or maybe just the stars?" I brought my sight back up and kept eye contact.

"It was very cloudy most of the nights. It's almost always pitched black."

'The sky is bleak.' I thought.

"One time I did see the North Star. It was just over the horizon on a late shift. Very early, just as it was breaking dawn." Athrun seemed to get my whole question and its real meaning so I didn't know whether to trust him or not about the whole guiding star sighting.

A conversation was getting louder in the distance as Athrun and I kept walking. I heard more and more people walking and talking to one another and more noises I hadn't noticed before. A lot of moving parts and machines where distracting workers form what or whom might be escaping. I guess in a weird way, escaping would mean killing yourself but who knows unless you try.

Athrun's grip tightened on me as we slowed down quite a bit.

I then realized that the two people having the conversation in the back ground became very quiet and were gaining speed on us, following us.

"Well, well, well, I don't think Shani will approve of this little walk, what do you think Clotho?"

"I don't know but I don't want him taking her away from our family, do you Orga?!"

!!Athruns POV from yesterday!!

Work keeps my mind from melting. Even if we didn't have a chance in hell of winning, I still think the monotonous routine of the day keeps everyone form thinking of the future and how nothing will ever work out in the end.

My mind drifts back to Cagalli.

I keep working.

"Beep beep beep." UGH, stupid machines. There are still incoming signals form Zaft, EA, orb and what not still lingering in the air waves. There are even some new ones that are all in code.

987846392 Appears on the screen of the Zaft mobile armour I am currently working on.

"I should really set these machines to mute before I even start to fi... wait a minute!" Those numbers mean something to me. The numbers 987846392 were my old Cadet numbers back in the old days.

"Beep, beep, beep." What came next were the numbers 987846002 and then 987846013.

"Yzak? Dearka?" This is unreal.

I typed in the final number that I thought would confirm that it was in fact me. I pressed the numbers 987846487, Nicole's old number.

Then the screen lit up with a slew of numbers that could be linked back to Nicole's numeral decoding assignment back in training. If anyone was looking for my signature, they'd only find a dead pilot's old school work.

Translated, it read...

"You ass, did you make it?" No names I see.

"Yes and no. All three of us are alive but are in danger." I responded.

"No doubt your fault in the first place I bet." Ouch, Yzak knew where to wound you the most. Yzak continued.

"Do you know the status of the war?" It's only been a few months since I left, what could have possibly happened.

"No." I replied.

"It's not good. Some rebel EA's took nuclear attacks to a whole new level with some new weapons." There was a pause before the rest came.

"I guess Zaft shouldn't have planned there battle strategy in a giant wave."

"So who's winning?" I asked.

"The cockroaches." Maybe I was talking to Dearka now. "Both sides are VERY damaged, it's not looking good for humanity or coordinatoranity or what have you."

"What happens now?" I asked.

"Don't know, the Earth is basically dying. There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide on Earth; Zaft isn't gonna want any of us either after what we did." There was another pause.

"What did you do?" Did my Father find out he helped Cagalli and I escape?

"Let's not get into details right know...the duel and the buster want to know if you'd like to join our plan, if you don't already have one in place?"

A plan sounded pretty good about now. It was easy enough to escape but what I wanted to know was where to go. The mountains surrounding the area and the cold harsh environment didn't leave much to ponder for long. Add on top of that a very pregnant and ill girl.

"What do you have in mind?"

After about 15 minutes we had our plan in concrete and all I had to do was get Cagalli to the nearest and safest mode of transportation. Simple enough but the biggest problem lies in three people. Two can be dealt with easily since they had no interest or very little interest in Cagalli. The other on the other hand could be a problem. Would he follow us? Would I have to kill him first before he can find us?

If we did try to escape and got caught, the worst possibility would be Shani killing me but ever since this morning, I changed my way of thinking. Shani had slapped her. I watched in pure rage as Cagalli was hurt and then I watched her become even more stressed and upset then she had been all the time she's been forced to obey Shani.

The looks in Shani's eyes during and after her punishment were livid. He wanted nothing short of absolute compliance and instant love. He wanted everything I had and he was going to make it happen. That's when I tackled him and look my defeat as I could do nothing about our situation but make Cagalli even more upset.

As I was kneeling on the floor taking my defeat, Cagalli tried to get to me wanting nothing more than to receive comfort but Shani wouldn't let her. Instead he tossed her on the bed close by and watched her sob into a pillow.

!!Cagalli POV current situation with Clotho and Orga!!

We've been caught.

"You have nothing to gain here Clotho and Orga," Athrun said pulling me behind his back as we stood in the middle of an outdoor launch pad. We had made it to an outer launch area where there were no people around but the recently landed mobile suits belonging to Clotho and Orga. "Leave before I have to kill you."

"Oh, but we do have someone to gain and she's standing right behind you. " Orga said slowly circling around.

"But..." Clotho continued as be approached us head on, mind you at a slow pace. "We don't think she's happy at all with us."

"Yep, and when she's not happy, she looks like she'll fall asleep and not wake up." Orga continued in Clotho's train of thought.

I stepped out from behind Athrun and made my way to Clotho who was just in front of us. Athrun reached out for me but I was ahead of him and Orga was standing close, ready for anything.

I needed to convince them to let us go. Shani was unintentionally killing me and Athrun knew it. Everyone BUT Shani knew it.

"I need Athrun. He'll make sure nothing happens to me and our baby. Please Clotho," I stepped closer to him and lifted my hands parallel to the ground in a pleading manner. "Please don't kill us. When you hurt Athrun you hurt me and if you kill him, I would die as well. I don't want my baby to die with me, I know I'll be happy where ever Athrun is but I couldn't stand if I killed our child with my heart break."

Clotho's face was blank as I said my last plea and as for Orga, I couldn't see him. I thought Clotho would understand and have compassion before Orga or Shani would. He seemed like deep down in his heart he didn't really want to hurt anyone.

"I can't just let you go no matter how much I don't want you to get hurt," He grabbed the top of my out stretched arms. "why can't you just be happy with Shani," he tightened his grip and shook me with every syllable, "you know he loves you too."

"You're hurting me Clotho, stop." He didn't let go.

"If that guy," he changed his stare to Athrun and intensified it "really loved you, he'd let you go and then you'd be happy with Shani."

"But I don't love Shani. STOP, PLEASE..." My head felt rather hot and I started to lose my balance. I leaned into Clotho for stability before I got a bad case of vertigo.

"That's enough, Clotho, Orga." Athrun stepped in and took me up into his arms. Orga was right behind him.

"You can shoot me if you want to but I'm taking Cagalli away from here."

"We won't forget this or anything that has happened here today." Clotho whispered to Athrun byt I could still hear it.

I watch as Orga came and stood beside Clotho as Athrun took me away. I couldn't tell whether or not they would tell Shani and all three of them would come after us and shoot us down. I wasn't too worried though because Athrun is an amazing pilot and even if the situation back there got really ugly; I know he would have won.

"Where...no...I mean what do we do now?" I asked.

"Your friend Miriallia asked about you."

"What." Miriallia...I hadn't heard her name for months.

"We're going to an abandoned colony. We have to travel to space but most of the colonies have ample supplies. Zaft has forgotten about them and I'm sure we can live for generations without any problems. Dearka and Yzak will be there too. Shiho too, she's Yzak's girlfriend."

We came to an opening in the side of a mountain where a small plane, probably one Athrun fixed up, was hiding.

"I think a new place will be a nice change. Let's go to a colony. Let's be happy."

"I couldn't agree more."

Four choices.

1. I can do one more chapter with Shani finding them but I can't grantee not killing someone.

2. This can be the last chapter and I can start another story.

3. I can do another chapter and start a new story.

4. You never want to hear from me again.

SO did you like it? I'm sorry it's been a while since I've updated, a couple months actually but I just didn't have my computer or my motivation till I get to school (plus my job and hanging out with friends). My next story would be about Athrun and Cagalli again but I might try some different things like a different time period and maybe a little more mature.

Till you review/respond.

Evilace.