Voldemort disarmed Harry. He pinned him to the ground with ropes.

"Harry… I have something to yell you. Harry, I am your father."

"Noooo- Hey, wait, what?" asked Harry. Snape then ran into the forest.

"Harry, I am your father!" he screamed. Harry was very confused.

"James Potter is my father… not either of you." He said. Sirius then ran into the forest.

"Harry! I AM YOUR FATHER!!!!" he screamed.

"No, you prat, I am!" said Snape.

"I am!" screamed Voldemort!

"Nuh-uh, I AM!" screamed Sirius, and they all punched each other into a bloody pulp. Sirius socked one right into Voldemort's 'you-know-what' area.

"That's cheating!" screamed Snape, but he then did it to Snape to. Both of them went into a coma. Then Sirius did.

"Oh great!" screamed Harry. Ron then ran into the forest.

"Harry! I'm your father!" he screamed. Harry just stupefied him. Then Ginny ran into the forest.

"Harry! We can't get married! I'm related to you!" she screamed.

"No… you're not." He said.

"Yes, I am. Your grandfather was my uncle's dad's 2nd cousin once removed! We can't get married! We'd be HICKS!" and with that, she ran back out. Ron un-stupefied, and came and punched Harry in the 'you-know-what' area.

"That's for dating a member of your family, HICK!" he then ran out, too.

Harry was so confused.

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Harry woke up in a cold sweat.

"Ginny! Ginny! Wake up!" he prodded Ginny until she awoke.

"What Harry?"

"We aren't related, are we?"

"Yeah, of course we are… your grandfather was my uncle's dad's 2nd cousin once removed. Why do you want to know?"

"Oh, nevermind."