Title: Second Life
Chapter Title: 1/1
Characters: Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley
Genres: Romance, Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Sexual References
Summary: The war is over, the light has won, and Draco and Hermione eventually build a relationship based on something other than mutual hatred. DH Spoilers, Canon Compliant.

Malfoy Manor

Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon…

I need to think of something. Harry and Ron are depending on me. I pray that Malfoy's mother is such a snob that she won't let bring us into the manor.

"My son Draco is home for his Easter holidays. If that is Harry Potter, he will know," Mrs. Malfoy's voice rang out as she allowed us into her home.

I almost giggled at my disappointment in her hospitality. I wish I'd read more about the signs of hysteria, because I'm certain inappropriate laughter is a symptom.

Zeta, Eta, Theta, Iota…

The sound of Lucius Malfoy's voice brought me out of my recitation. I've been repeating the Greek alphabet over and over whenever stressed since I was a toddler. It calms me. I said the alphabet eight hundred and two times after Ron left.

Kappa, Lambda, Mu, Nu, Xi…

I sighed in relief when neither Lucius nor Draco clearly identified Harry. My sigh turned attention toward me. While the elder Malfoys recognized me as Harry's Mudblood friend, Draco refused to look at my face. He refused to state emphatically that his parents' suspicions were correct. I felt a bubble of hope; maybe we might survive this night at the Manor. If only we had an ally; if only we had a plan.

Omicron, Pi, Rho, Sigma, Tau…

A Wizard's Bet

Hermione sat in The Three Broomsticks sulking. It was unfair that Ron and Harry weren't with her. They were responsible for this situation, but apparently the 'Man-Who-Defeated-the-Dark-Lord' and the 'Man-Who-Saved-the-Life-of-the-Man-Who-Defeated-the-Dark-Lord' needed to be present at the Fifth Anniversary Victory Celebration. She, on the other hand, was expendable.

"Hurry up, Granger. We don't have all night," Draco Malfoy drawled from the other end of the table. Surrounding the blond were a number of Slytherins, including Pansy Parkinson, Marcus Flint, and Blaise Zabini.

Giving a deep sigh, Hermione stood and cursed the day when Harry, Ron and she had run into Draco in London. Ron made some joke about Malfoy enjoying his last days of freedom before ending up in Azkaban.

"Weasley, you'll be wearing adult diapers long before I ever see the inside of a prison cell," Draco had replied.

From there the discussion degenerated until Draco suggested a wizard's bet to end the disagreement. The terms of the wager were vague, but Harry crossed wands with Malfoy and accepted before Hermione could stop him.

When the Malfoys managed to avoid prison for half a decade, a member of the Golden Trio was forced to make good on the bet. And because Harry and Ron were complete chicken-shits, it was Hermione who had to fulfill the terms of the agreement. She had received an owl that morning with the text of the apology she was bound by magic to make to Malfoy.

Taking a deep breath and trying to stop blushing, she began. "I, Hermione Granger, as a representative of one of the three who led the fight for the destruction of Voldemort, do hereby apologize to the Malfoy family for every mean-spirited, inaccurate, and stupid comment that Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, or I ever made about them."

"Show us your tits!" Marcus Flint yelled from next to Draco.

As the other Slytherins laughed, Hermione speculated that a hex that would make Ron's tongue swell up so he couldn't talk might be an appropriate punishment for making her do this alone.

As the group quieted back down, she continued. "I also acknowledge the good sense shown by the Ministry of Magic in finding the Malfoy family innocent of all suspicious actions taken during the Second War."

"Here, here!" cried Theodore Nott.

"Good show!" clapped Pansy Parkinson.

Harry's punishment would be trickier, she knew. He was still quite beloved by the public and any overt act of retribution on her part would be frowned upon. She'd need to do something that involved stealth and cunning. Perhaps a jinx that made the fly of his trousers open whenever he walked out of the restroom.

When Draco motioned for her to carry on, Hermione finished up her speech. "Moreover, it is my sincere desire that the Malfoy family and the House of Slytherin be recognized for their untiring efforts to benefit all of Wizarding kind in times of turmoil."

Feeling a bit sick at the words she had just spoken, Hermione sat down and watched Draco bow to the crowd of cheering Slytherins. As she observed Hogwarts' most crafty and sneaky former students celebrating what they obviously saw as a public victory over the Gryffindor Golden Trio, the heroine of the Second Wizarding War began to plot revenge on her two best friends. Clearly inspired by her companions at the pub, Hermione silently vowed that Harry and Ron would rue the day they forced her to fulfill the terms of the wizard's bet alone.

0-0-0

Quidditch Season

Ron, Harry, and Hermione sat in the box reserved for family members at the Holyhead Harpies stadium. They had come to watch Ginny play in her first match of the season, but when their sitter had begged off at the last minute they'd been forced to bring the children with them.

Two year old James sat on Harry's lap, Ron held nine month old Rose, and Hermione cradled four-month-old Albus Severus in her arms. "So do you think they have a chance this year?" Ron asked his best mate.

"Who?" Harry replied. "The Harpies?"

"No, the Cannons. They got a new keeper, he's supposed to be so huge that no one can get a Quaffle past him. The Cannons had to have a special broom made just to hold his weight."

Harry looked at him like he was nuts. "Yea, that sounds like a winning game plan."

"I know it's a bit unconventional," Ron began, only to be interrupted by Hermione.

"Do we have to talk Quidditch today?"

Turning his back slightly, so his face was obscured from Hermione, Ron rolled his eyes at Harry.

Biting his lip to keep from grinning, Harry leaned over Ron to address the brown-eyed witch. "Hermione, you do realize that we are at a Quidditch match, right? It might be difficult to avoid talking about the game at all."

"It is just that it has been so long since the three of us spent any real time together," she tried to explain.

Ron turned back toward his wife with a confused expression on his face. "We saw Harry last Sunday at my Mum's," he reminded her.

"Yes, but we didn't get to really sit down and talk. Don't you sometimes miss the old days, when it was just the three of us out on an adventure?"

"Hunting down little pieces of a psychopath's soul?" Ron asked.

"Or running away from a giant three-headed dog?" Harry continued.

"Or fighting off a pack of Death Eaters?" Ron grinned, elbowing Harry in the ribs.

Before Hermione could respond to their teasing, however, the Harpies scored a goal and little James shouted loudly, "Touchdown!"

All three adults looked at the child askew. "That's what you get for hiring an American bloke as a nanny," Ron said, shaking his head.

Harry failed respond, however, because his attention was focused on the box next to them in which sat Draco Malfoy with a small, blond child on his lap. Malfoy had obviously heard James' outburst since he looked at Harry knowingly and mouthed, "Squib?"

Ron and Harry seethed, but Hermione just winked at them and whispered, "Impotent for a month or receding hairline?"

Grinning, the two Aurors replied, "Both."

0-0-0

The Care and Feeding of Draco Malfoy

"Back off," Draco Malfoy hissed at her.

"Is it really necessary for you to be so rude?" Hermione asked. "All I wanted…"

"Yes, it is necessary. Now shut it," he growled under his breath.

Giving him an exasperated glare, Hermione flopped down in the chair beside him, knocking her bag into his shoulder. "Sorry," she fibbed. "It was an accident."

Draco narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. He and Hermione had served together on Hogwarts' Board of Directors for the last eight months. They weren't friends, but they had become friendly, especially after Rose and Scorpius both got sorted into Ravenclaw at the beginning of the school year. Therefore, when Hermione read about the very public and scandalous separation between Malfoy and his wife, she had wanted to offer him support and sympathy.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about," she whispered, leaning toward him slightly as the meeting began.

Through clenched teeth, Draco replied, "Not here."

"Coffee, when we are done?"

Draco nodded curtly.

An hour later, after the Board adjourned, Hermione grabbed Draco by the arm and Apparated them to the alley behind the Crocodile Café in Muswell Hill. He sniffed as they stepped inside the shop. "Is this place Muggle?"

"Stop being a snob," she told him. "It's a charming spot."

"You probably use words like charming to describe Weasley's old trainers," Draco smirked. It was his first one that evening.

"Well, I'm glad to see you still have your sense of humor," Hermione replied truthfully.

"I'm sure if my lovely bride could have packed it, it would be gone too," Draco groused, quickly falling back into his funk.

Hermione ordered two Irish coffees, before she focused on Draco once again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"It might make you feel better."

"It won't."

"How can you be so sure?" Hermione asked. She was quickly coming to the conclusion that dealing with a pouting, depressed Malfoy was worse than trying to handle Ron and Harry when they were upset.

"Granger, reviewing with you why my marriage has ended is not the path to happiness or enlightenment. Perhaps if I could blame everything on 'the little woman', this chat might be more enjoyable. But let's face reality. I'm stubborn, I make plenty of mistakes, and life with me is never easy. It is obvious, if one assesses my lack of sterling qualities, why I will be the first Malfoy in history whose wife ran off."

"Don't be silly. Your wife ran off because you are the first Malfoy in history to have too many scruples to chain your wife in the family dungeons until she caves into your will," Hermione teased.

Draco's lips twitched and he inclined his head slightly toward Hermione. "Perhaps," he acknowledged.

"I'm not going to even pretend I have any idea what you are going through. But remember, Draco, you did not deserve this. Maybe you are a little jaded, but you can also be strong, tenacious, lovely, and sweet. No matter how awful things might appear now, it will get better. Before you know it, you'll be in a different place, along a different path, and you'll be able to trust again – to love again." Hermione reached across the table and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"Sweet Circe, Granger. You sound like a bad self-help book. I can't believe your best friends are men. No self-respecting bloke would put up with such drivel. Not that Potter and Weasley have much cause for manly pride," Draco told her snarkily. "But please refrain from showering me with any more of your pop-Muggle-psychology."

"Wow. You insulted, Harry, Ron and me without even taking a breath. You must be feeling better."

The corners of Draco's mouth turned up slightly. "Maybe, I'm feeling a little better."

"Come join Ron, Hugo, and me for dinner. I don't want you eating by yourself tonight."

"I can't imagine Weasley would be too thrilled with my presence."

"Don't be silly, Ron is always delighted to have company. But don't be surprised if he wants to drive you around in his new Mini Cooper," Hermione replied with a smile. "Let me pop home and let him know you are coming. Apparate over in about 10 minutes, okay?"

Draco nodded. "Thanks, Granger." As he watched her hurry out of the café, Draco couldn't help but hope that should he ever find love again that it would be someone more like Hermione and less like his soon-to-be ex-wife. He wanted someone kind, loving, and maybe even a little bossy, who could match wits with and tease him out of his frequent bad moods.

He then reminded his brain very clearly that he did NOT want Hermione specifically. She was married – to a Weasley – and besides, she had horrible hair. Nevertheless, he had to admit, that finding someone like her might one day completely transform his life for the better.

0-0-0

Moving On

"A famous actress once said that kisses are nature's way of letting people communicate when words were no longer necessary," Hermione Weasley, informed her companion over a cup of coffee.

"Granger, if you want to kiss me, you don't need to use some sappy Muggle quote. Just strap on a set of balls and do it," Draco Malfoy smirked at her.

The brown-haired witch let out a deep breath, which sounded much like a growl. "I haven't been Granger for almost two decades, Malfoy."

"You'll always be Granger to me, luv."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the pompous git. She wondered, for the hundredth time, just what she was doing dating him. They had completely different life philosophies, did not move in the same social circles, and rarely agreed with each other on important practical matters. Moreover, Malfoy had been her worst childhood nemesis. She knew Ron must be rolling over in his grave at the thought of her seeing the former Slytherin.

Hermione's husband had died while on an Auror mission four years ago during their son's first year at Hogwarts. And although she had mourned Ron for almost three years before even contemplating being with anyone else, it still felt a bit like cheating on him whenever she dated someone new. Not that any of her previous dates had developed into anything serious. She had never gone out with anyone who had been so fascinating, so appealing, or so good-looking that she'd contemplated getting remarried. At least, she never had until lately.

However, any notion Hermione had of marrying Malfoy was completely inappropriate. They had only been seeing each other two months and had never even kissed properly. She didn't count the small peck on the cheek he had given her two weeks ago after escorting her to a charity function. In fact, the lack of physical contact between them had left her wondering whether or not he found her the least bit desirable. It was this insecurity that had led to the rather lame attempt tonight to goad him into kissing her.

Perhaps he was right; perhaps she did need to be more upfront. "If you aren't attracted to me, why do you keep asking me out?"

"What?!" he replied, clearly dumbfounded.

"You've never made a pass at me - never touched me intimately. I even give you a great opening to initiate a kiss and instead you tease me about it. If you aren't over your ex-wife and are just looking for a platonic friendship so you don't have to attend formal occasions alone, I can accept that. However, I need to know exactly where I stand with you."

Draco groaned loudly and dropped his head into his hands. "Granger, I've been trying to be thoughtful."

"What?" It was now Hermione's turn to be confused.

"I wasn't sure if you were over Weasley yet, so I didn't want to pressure you into anything. I've wanted to shag you rotten since the first time you agreed to go out with me, but decided to be considerate and let you make the first move so not to push things further than you were comfortable."

"Sweet Merlin, Malfoy. Of all the times to be selfless," Hermione nagged. She belied the sting of her words, however, with a big smile and a wink.

"Well, now that I know what you want, Granger," Malfoy said, leaning across the table. "I'll return to being my usual insensitive self."

Hermione pressed her lips to Draco's, reveling in the feelings he evoked. "MMmmm… Malfoy. Tactless and insensitive is just the way I like you."

0-0-0

Match-Making

Draco Malfoy and Hermione Weasley trudged through the Forbidden Forest on the heels of their children, Scorpius and Rose. It was father-son, mother-daughter day at Hogwarts. Rose and Scorpius had been paired together to complete a sixth-year Herbology project and Draco and Hermione were supposed to accompany and watch them accomplish their task. Draco had not stopped complaining since they stepped into the forest.

"It is completely inconsiderate for the school's staff to not inform us we'd be tromping through the woods," he grumbled to Hermione. "I would have worn more acceptable footwear had I'd been told mud and grass were involved in this exercise."

Hermione rolled her eyes and said under her breath so that only Draco could hear her, "You sound like a tosser, Malfoy. Buck up and grow a pair."

"I hope you trip and fall," he replied with a sneer.

Hermione stuck her tongue out at him, feeling a bit like a four-year-old.

"Son," Draco called out. "How did you and Weasley end up paired together today?"

Scorpius glanced back at his father and smirked at seeing him so uncomfortable. "Rose and I always pair up in Herbology."

"Why?" Hermione asked, curious about the relationship between her daughter and Malfoy's son.

"Because we want to get the highest marks in the class," Rose explained, as if it should have been obvious to anyone.

"We pair up in most of our classes," Scorpius added.

"Not Defense Against the Dark Arts," Rose reminded him. Looking back at her mother, she added, "I work with Albus in that one. Scorpius is pants in DADA."

"I am not!" Scorpius replied, offended.

"Yes, you are," Rose told him, matter-of-factly.

"You want to duel right now, Weasley?" Scorpius hissed, drawing his wand on her.

"You just say when, Malfoy," Rose shouted, dropping her bag and pulling her wand out as well.

"Scorpius!" Draco barked.

"Rose!" Hermione screeched.

Blushing, the sixteen-year-old Ravenclaws turned toward their parents, murmured apologies, and put away their wands. Scorpius picked up Rose's bag and the two set off at a brisk pace, leaving Draco and Hermione to fall further behind.

When she was certain the children were out of ear-shot, Hermione turned toward Draco. "Do you still want to tell them about us today?"

"Getting cold feet, Granger?" Malfoy taunted. He knew that if anything would rile up the brown-haired witch, it would be questioning her bravery.

"No, Malfoy, I'm not getting cold feet. But this is going to be difficult enough without the two of them being upset before we even begin to explain our relationship."

Draco waved his hand as if her concerns were meaningless. "Scorpius adores Rose even if she is a righteous know-it-all like her mother. He won't be disturbed that you and I are seriously dating."

"Well, how fortunate for you and Scorpius," Hermione glared at him. "Rose and Hugo haven't had to compete with anyone for my attention since Ron passed away. They might not be quite as accepting of us being together."

"Bollocks. They will be fine. You must stop mollycoddling your brood, Granger. It is bad for their future constitutions."

"Mollycoddling? Are you serious? I hope you realize that you sound like some 18th century aristocrat's wife."

"Merlin, I get so turned on when you attempt the change the subject by insulting me," Draco leered at her, while snaking his arm around her waist.

"Arrrggh! You're sick," Hermione huffed, pushing him off her. She couldn't prevent, however, her lips from curling up in a tiny smile.

Not put off, Draco grabbed Hermione more firmly and pressed his lips to her neck. "I can't wait to drag you to our room in Hogsmeade so I can have my way with you." Looking around and not seeing Scorpius or Rose, he taunted her quietly, "Or if you keep mocking me, I'll take you right here in the woods."

Hermione did not reply, but something flashed in her eyes that made him groan. "Fuck, woman. Next weekend we are going camping."

Giggling and feeling more like a teenager than she had for two decades, the dark-haired witch kissed Draco firmly on the lips. "I love how you can read my mind."

Grinning back, he kissed her deeply in return. As Hermione and Draco enjoyed pressing against each other in relative seclusion, a hundred yards to the north Rose and Scorpius turned away from watching their parents embrace.

"I told you if we could get them out in the woods together something interesting would happen," Rose smirked at her best mate.

Scorpius shook his head, still having a hard time believing what he'd just seen. "Yea, you did Rose. I just figured one of them would end-up transfigured into a mushroom or a stump. I suppose it could be worse."

Rose nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely, it could be them catching you and I snogging!"

0-0-0

The Friends of Slytherin

"Repeat after me: I, Hermione Granger…"

"I, Hermione Granger…"

"Being of sound mind and SPECTACULAR body…"

"Draco!" Hermione screeched

"Luv, you're the one who said you wanted to do this."

Hermione looked around the room beseechingly, but none of the Slytherins in attendance at this ceremony seemed inclined to intervene.

"Fine," she huffed. "Being so sound mind and spectacular body…"

"Do hereby pledge to do everything in my power," Draco continued.

"Do hereby pledge to do everything in my power," Hermione copied in a tone only moderately sarcastic.

"To insure that the House of Salazar Slytherin is recognized as the most superior of all Houses, but especially as superior than the House of Godric Gryffindor."

"Draco, it does not say that!" Hermione huffed.

"Luv, why would I lie?"

"Because you are a no good, sneaky, bastard."

"Hermione," Draco said patiently, "You are the one who wanted to become an official 'Friend of Slytherin'. You are the one who wanted to take the pledge."

"I know, but I didn't realize you'd make the pledge so awful," Hermione whined. She looked around again wondering which of the men in the room was most likely to give her a truthful answer. "Goyle, is Draco following the pledge accurately?"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Greg didn't say anything, but did give Hermione a single nod.

The witch growled deeply in her throat. "What am I suppose to say again?"

"I pledge to do everything in my power to insure that the House of Slytherin is recognized as the most superior of all Houses, especially compared to that of Gryffindor."

Hermione repeated the phrase, choking only a little bit on the words Slytherin and Gryffindor.

Draco smirked at her before continuing. "I also promise to say a prayer for Snape's soul every night before going to sleep."

"Oh, this is so stupid," Hermione complained.

"If you feel that way, luv, then just resign yourself to not going to the Slytherin reunion," Draco replied, in a slightly exasperated tone.

Hermione growled again. She and Draco had been dating for almost two years and he was headed off in 3 weeks to Spain for a big Slytherin reunion. However, he'd informed her two nights ago that only Slytherins, the spouses of Slytherins, or official 'Friends of Slytherin' could attend the event. And although she really had no desire to be stuck in Spain with a bunch of arrogant, rude, pure-blooded, Snape-lovers, she also didn't want Draco by himself at a gathering also attended by his old girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson. "Fine. I promise to pray for Snape's soul every night."

Draco grinned. He really was enjoying this immensely. "Furthermore, I vow to make fun of Harry Potter and his poorly named offspring at every opportunity."

"I am NOT going to pledge that!" Hermione loudly informed the blond Slytherin.

"Don't sweat it, Granger," Theodore Nott spoke from behind her. "We'll give Parkinson your love."

Straightening her shoulders and taking a deep breath, Hermione began. "Furthermore, I vow to make fun of… of…"

Draco arched an eyebrow at her stuttering.

"Okay, forget this. I'll just marry you. It will be more painful in the long run, but at least I won't have to take this stupid oath."

"I knew you would eventually succumb to my charms, luv," Draco smirked.

Hermione shook her head, but then kissed his cheek and groped his bum before leaving the room.

Once she was gone, Draco turned to one of the Slytherins who remained behind and told him, "Flint, you are a genius."

"How'd you think I got Angelina Johnson to agree to marry me," Marcus Flint replied with a grin.

Opening a bottle of champagne, Draco filled the glasses of all his former classmates in attendance. "I propose a toast, gentlemen. To 'The Friends of Slytherin' – May it always have a membership of 0!"

"Here, here!" the Slytherin alumni replied in unison.

0-0-0

Commiseration

Draco walked into the sitting room of Malfoy Manor and discovered his bride of three months silently crying.

"Hermione? Are you alright, luv?"

Startled at his voice, the brown-haired witch flinched and dropped the box she was holding in her lap. Several hundred Famous Wizard's Cards spilled out onto the floor.

At Draco's look of confusion, Hermione took a deep breath, but couldn't prevent a small sob from escaping her lips. "It's just that Ron really loved chocolate frogs."

Draco was at her side in an instant, pulling her into his arms and sitting her on his lap. He stroked her hair as she cried, mentally cursing himself for forgetting that today was the seventh anniversary of Weasley's murder by a rogue Death Eater. Although he had never liked Ron Weasley – the man had, after all, seen the former Slytherin at his worst during the war and never let him forget it – Draco knew that Hermione had been deeply devoted to her first husband. When her tears began to subside, Draco asked softly, "Would you like to talk about it?"

Still sniffling a bit, she nodded slowly. "I love you," she whispered. "And I love our lives together, but sometimes I really miss Ron."

"Of course you do, darling." Draco assured her. "He was the most important man in your life for over twenty-five years, you had children with him, and he was your first love. I'd be concerned if you didn't still miss him at times."

Giving Draco a slight smile before snuggling deeper into his embrace, Hermione asked, "Why are you so wise and understanding of my feelings?"

Kissing her on the head softly, Draco replied, "Because you are my first love."

AU: A big thanks to Kazfeist for doing the beta work for this. These started out as drabbles for the Hermioneldws Live Journal challenge, but I've strung them together, in what is hopefully a coherent story. The "Care and Feeding of Draco Malfoy" section is based on Kelly Clarkson's song – Maybe.