Elphaba found it strange, being popular. She dressed right, did the right dances, made the right noises in conversations (grunts were ever so bourgeois, although still an accurate reflection of her feelings), and was generally (as someone had put it) Galindaified. Or was it Glindafied? Sometimes Elphaba wished Glinda would just insist on being called Bob or something similarly simple.

It isn't until the big dance that she figured out why.

"Oh, you are my girlfriend now," Glinda said.

"Is that right?"

"Yes."

Elphaba was both surprised and not surprised. True, she and Glinda had been doing all the things lovers did underneath the sheets, with darkened lantern's coolness lapping at their comforters and stars exploding behind their eyes. But she never thought Glinda would admit to it. The matter-of-factness made her think Glinda was trying to prove something.

They danced, in public, and it was quite painless. No one jeered. Elphaba knew she was invisible next to the wellspring of Glinda's charisma, which camouflaged her so thoroughly she might as well have been a prize poodle. No, really, she might have well as been, given how Glinda's friends cooed and fretted over her. Her cheeks were kissed so many times the lipstick served as a blush and Glinda excused herself, dragging Elphaba out of the ballroom. Couples were coupling on the yard, with barely any shrubbery for cover or music for static. Glinda dutifully turned up her nose at them and Elphaba followed suit. Was quite surprised when Glinda got her alone and kissed her just as passionately as any of the fornicators ever could.

"What was that for?" Elphaba asked, wondering if it were even possible to pin down its origin.

"There is a tradition in the Upper Uplands. After the Per Annum Prom, a girlfriend is expected to… offer up her virginity."

Elphaba blinked. "I don't particularly want it. I already have one."

"You can't turn down my maidenhead! Look!" She struggled out of her clothing, skin luminous even in the dull light. "I'm all naked and willing. Girls like me don't make these offers to just everyone!"

"I'll forgo the rumors then," Elphaba smirked.

"Elphie!"

"Shush up, I was talking about Pfannee." Elphaba sighed so as best to convey the eternal pressures Oz placed on her. "Very well. How shall I go about ridding you of your dreadful burden."

Glinda clapped her hands and bounced excitedly, breasts jostling most alluringly. "Oh, I was hoping you could come up with that part. The man always does that part while the woman lies back and thinks of Ozma."

Though disturbed, Elphaba nonetheless smiled at the unintentional double entrende Glinda had spouted. She was far more likely to be thinking of Ozma than any man servicing her. "Perhaps you have missed this fact due to your own timidity as a lover, but I am not a man."

"You'll do," Glinda told her.

"Fine." She grabbed a broom some thoughtless Tik-Tok had left propped against the wall. "Lie down on that bench and spread your legs."

"Elphie!" Glinda cried out as she did when Elphaba blasphemed, although she did lie down. "You can't be intending for me…"

"I keep some of my washing lotion on hand for hygienic emergencies," Elphaba said, pulling a flask of the clear lotion out of her Glinda-approved purse. "It also serves as a more than adequate lubricant, as I'm sure you know."

Glinda blushed. Blushed hotter at the way Elphaba's greased hands slicked the broomstick's handle. It was smooth and cylindrical to begin with; Elphaba's action only served to make it more phallic.

Glinda bucked, moaned, screamed, sobbed, bled, and finally, orgasmically, stilled with the broomstick inside of her. Elphaba, who had rather enjoyed rubbing herself between her greenest lips with the shaft, pulled a half-foot of damp wood from Glinda's crimson-stained pinkness. Glinda fluttered adoringly, naked and proud of everything.

"Oh, Elphie… come here. Let me serve you as a woman serves a man."

Glinda planted her fists at her hips. "Miss Glinda, I've had quite enough of this talk of how men and women should relate, especially seeing as neither of us are men. Solely to put an end to this foolishness, I shall now serve you as a woman serves a woman!"

Glinda squealed, delighted, as Elphaba pulled her to the edge of the bench, spread her creamy legs, and put her wicked tongue to Glinda's favorite use.