After hours of darkness, Reid opened his eyes. The sterile white color of the hospital alarmed him at first. The last thing he remembered was falling on the hard ground in front of the Falk farmhouse. There was a faint memory of a loud noise, but other than that he had no clue what was going on. He felt all too exposed in the thin hospital gown. Every muscle on his body felt tense and pained. Reid could hardly feel his leg as it was wrapped heavily in bandage. His heart skipped a beat as he wondered if they had been able to save it from infection.

It was even a difficult task trying to sit up. His room was empty of any nurses at the moment. The only bed in there was his so he assumed it was a private room. Usually that would mean a long term stay. He hoped he would be able to leave soon. Reid truly hated hospitals of all sorts. Being there just made him cringe inside. He just wanted to rip out the IV and leave at that moment, but he was smart enough to know that running away from treatment would not improve his health.

Before he knew it familiar faces were peaking through the door. For the first time in days he smiled. It was a weak one, but a smile all the same. They were all smiling at him, but he could sense something was wrong at the same time. Where was Gideon?

"Oh thank god you're awake," Garcia said as she scurried over to the bed to embrace her friend. Tears were dripping down her cheeks.

Each of them was saddened by how horrible their companion looked. He was skinnier than ever, maybe even emaciated. Dark circles were shaded underneath his eyes. And the worst thing was that he had no idea what had happened. He didn't know that Gideon was dead.

Reid's heart was lightened a bit as he realized Prentiss was there and alive. He had completely forgotten that a few hours ago he had thought she was dead. He gazed at her with wet eyes.

"Reid…" she said softly as her throat clenched up.

"I thought you were dead," Reid said cutting her off. "How did you get away? I… I… saw you. You were on the ground."

"I had to fake it so I could get help, I'm sorry," she said with tears in her eyes as well.

"No no, it's fine. I'm glad you're alright… it's just a lot to take in right now," he said calming down. Morgan clasped his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Where's Gideon, I really need to talk to him," Reid said extending his neck to peer outside the room hoping he was just talking to a doctor or something.

They were all silent looking down at the ground. Garcia's chin wobble and she grabbed Prentiss's hand for support. Morgan clenched Reid's shoulder even harder. JJ sat down in one of the chairs and started to rub her temples. She was now crying hard.

"I'm sorry…" Hotch began before he couldn't continue. "He didn't make it."

Reid looked from friend to friend hoping this was some kind of joke. No, Gideon couldn't be dead. Gideon always made it out of things. It just couldn't be true.

The room seemed to spin before his eyes. Tears came like a fountain. Now he did not care what he showed in front of his colleagues. This was too much. Despite the pain in his body he sat up fully and pulled away from Morgan. Reid ripped out the IV and tried to get up.

"Reid, stop it!" Morgan yelled as he painfully watched his friend, who was practically a brother to him, fall apart.

Prentiss left the room to get a nurse to help with the IV. Hotch along with Morgan went to Reid and got him into bed once more. He was still in hysterics. JJ took one look at his pained face and couldn't take it. She followed Prentiss out of the room. Garcia backed up into a chair and plopped herself into it. A tear ran down her face.

The nurse returned with Prentiss. JJ had not re-entered. Reid was now breathing heavily. So much pain was rushing through him. But nothing hurt more than the guilt weighing on him. After trying to calm him down, the nurse sedated the young doctor and he returned to an artificial peace. Everyone was silent.

As they walked out of the room and were in the empty hallway Morgan was fuming.

"That went well," he hissed sarcastically at Hotch. Even though it had been the plan he couldn't help but be furious at his superior for telling him. But what were they going to say when he suspected something? Wouldn't not knowing be worse.

"Morgan, that's not fair," Garcia said grabbing his arm lightly.

"Yeah, well I think we've learned that life isn't fair by now," he said with bitterness in his voice. And then he left.

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The hospital was slowing down for the night. The rooms of most patients were shut off as they slept through their ailments and traumas. Interns played cards as they waited for some flow of an accident or emergency to keep their hands occupied. The nurses chatted about various soaps they had taped the previous night. All the while Spencer Reid lay awake in his bed.

The drugs running through his veins to take away the pain did nothing for the emotional anguish he was suffering. All he wanted was to wake up from this nightmare. But however much he pinched and prodded himself reality still slapped him with the truth. The one person who he knew could get him out of any trouble no longer existed.

His tears were long dried, but his head throbbed and his nose still felt stuffy. The young agent's grief was far from over. He spent his years working on cases where it was sometimes his job to tell families that it was going to be alright when he knew perfectly well the results could be disastrous. Now he would not lie to himself with false comfort. When he thought about it he didn't know Gideon all too well. He had never asked about the wedding band he bore or if he had any kids… and now he never could. Reid couldn't picture Gideon in a casket. He was just one of those people he thought would go on forever. From this he realized for vulnerable everyone was in the end.

The slower patter of footsteps seemed to be approaching. Could it be the nurses? No, they had already given him his medication. And visiting hours were over so it wouldn't be any one of his friends. They had left hours ago to tend to their own emotional and physical wounds. He had learned of Hotch's house being burnt down through the television. The nurse had turned it on for him and unfortunately the story of the case had been on the news at that moment. He watched a little of it, but stopped when they spoke of Gideon's death and funeral plans. Even though he had nothing to do with it, he felt horrible for Hotch's family. He was glad to know Haley and Jack were safe.

Sitting up he realized he was not alone. JJ stood near the door and was shutting it quietly. Looking at her it seemed as though she had not showered or done anything but cry since he had last seen her. He didn't know what to say to her. Seeing her like this just made him feel worse.

"Reid…" she said with a quiet voice. It wasn't completely dark so he was able to see her chin wobbling as she spoke. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about?" he asked dumbfounded. How could she believe that it had been her fault? She had nothing to do with the crimes that Matthew had committed against them.

"If…If I hadn't… If I hadn't said those things to him in the b-basement you could've escaped with us and then Gideon wouldn't have had to save you," she said through tears.

"JJ, no, it's not like that at all. If anything… you saved me. I was dying down there and I needed help. Matthew gave me medicine when he took me. The doctors told me that's what saved me. And for Gideon, we don't know what would've happened. Who knows if any of us could've escaped in any other circumstances?" he said comforting her with his words. "You just can't think like that… or it'll kill you inside."

She didn't say anything, but tears were still falling from her eyes. After a moment she came closer to her friend and flung onto him in a hug. She never wanted to let go.

"I love you," she said in her sobs. "I love you and I never want to lose you again."

Reid held her closely. He never wanted to let go either. Much of his pain seemed to wash away from her aid. Tears dripped from his eyes as well thinking of the times Gideon had tried to set them up. Who knew he would never be there to see the results?

They slept that night in the small hospital bed in each others arms.

A/C Well I finally gave a little happiness to the characters I suppose. Please read and review and expect the final chapter soon!