Disclaimer: I do not own CM or the characters. This is for the pure enjoyment of expression.

A/C: This is my second fanfic ever. I have a feeling where I'm going with this but let me know if you like it or if it's just crap that I shouldn't even bother continuing with. Your opinions mean a lot to me )

Jason Gideon sat alone in his office. The only illumination was a small desk light. It was just enough light to make the scattered papers and photos on his desk visible. His face was like a stone statue frozen in an expression of gloom. He turned to see the time upon the clock on the wall. 8:30. Outside, he heard the soft murmurs of goodbyes as the agents left for the day. Gideon turned back around in his chair to the desk. In the middle of all the mess was a lone photograph. It showed a group of people during some sort of party. Gideon remembered it well. The party was the BAU Christmas party a good few years ago. Different faces were in the picture than the ones he now saw everyday. In the picture Gideon was with a few members of his old team. The team he had lost.

He hadn't looked at any photographs of them for awhile. For him the pain was still all too real. Sometimes he could still feel his friend's blood on his own hands. At night he sometimes woke up after a nightmare full of explosions. Sometimes he still expected to walk into the office created by them. But they were gone. Gideon did not know whether he still felt entirely responsible or not, but he definitely still felt something. Hotch had known the team just as well, but he grieved in a different sort of way. Morgan also had been on the team during that time. Lucky for him that trip to Boston was one he had missed. Then there was Reid who had been a fresh face to the BAU during that time. He had only been there a few months and Gideon was still getting to know him so he was assisting them in the office. Gideon knew very well that all thoughts of the event would not be on anyone else's mind that night but his.

It was his burden after all. Those fatal commands to enter the building where the bomb would later explode had left his lips. No one else had to live with those thoughts. Hotch and everyone thought he was over it, but Gideon was not. Ever since Reid's near death experience it had been on his mind a lot. After all, he had asked Garcia to put up the virus warning which had led to Tobias attempting to murder Reid. If he had not been revived who knows where Gideon's mental state would be at this point. It would have been one more burden to add to his long list.

Twenty miles away from where Gideon sat in his office a man paced in his bedroom. The walls were plastered with various newspaper clipping. All of them had some traces of the words BAU or Jason Gideon in them. One was fairly old, but it was placed the most carefully. The article on his wall showed Gideon panic stricken being led out of an area where an explosion had occurred. The headline read, "Shrapnel Blast Kills Six". This was obviously the man's favorite out of them all.

I need to see him face to face. He ignores me. I need to get him to listen to me. All he cares about is that team of his. What about me?

"He will listen," the man said softly to himself. "I'll show them what I can do…"