So here it is. The end. And I still don't own anything.
Thank you for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it!
"Alright, this is the day." Sirius began. "This is the day that determines whether we, the Marauders, are remembered forever, immortalised in Hogwarts legend." James just rolled his eyes. Remus gave a small cough of equal irritation.
"Sirius, you give this speech every time we pull a prank. I'm sure we'll be fine." Peter sighed as they were walking back from the pumpkin patch unassuming, with the one pumpkin that James was carrying.
"Yes but this isn't just a prank." Sirius added. "This is one that Gideon and Fabian suggested, and that they'll be present for."
"They'll be seeing this?" Remus asked, completely disregarding his normal 'We shouldn't be doing this' speech for the chance to be a part of Hogwarts history.
"Well, it was their idea after all." Sirius said matter-of-factly, as they marched up the stone steps towards door.
"Does this mean that they've, you know, accepted you as Gwen's whatever?" James asked.
"Prongs, I would like to say that you just sounded absolutely ridiculous." Remus smirked.
"Motion seconded." Peter nodded.
"Thirded." As incorrect as it may be, it sounds funnier. Sirius smirked, just as Remus was about to interject. "It comes to pass that James Potter is the week's 'Dunce Marauder.' What's that, like the fifth time, this year?"
"Oh shut up, Sirius. You've been the only 'Quite Probably Diseased Marauder' since fourth year." James countered. "I'd rather be the 'Dunce Marauder' than the 'Diseased' one."
"I'm not diseased, you lot were just jealous." Sirius replied, pushing the doors open. "Still are."
The other three Marauders tried vainly to give Sirius the argument that they weren't jealous, and just looking out for his health and well being. But these arguments fell to deaf ears when he caught sight of Gwen walking out of the Great Hall, carrying a scone. "Fellas, if you'll excuse me." He grinned, scampering ahead towards Gwen.
Gwen was picking at this pilfered pastry, when Sirius swooped in out of nowhere and took a rather large bite. "You know, I was actually looking forward to that, Sirius." She sniffed, before pursing her lips.
"Raspberry, I should've known." Sirius grinned, the crumbs still on his lips. She shook her head at him, and refrained from sweeping the crumbs off with her sleeve.
"Raspberry and White Chocolate, and I'm sure you just took a large chunk of white chocolate." Gwen muttered. "This was my 'Victory over Arithmancy' gift to myself, and there you go, ruining it."
"I can get you another." He offered. "Easily."
"That's hardly the point, Sirius. I stole this from the Great Hall." She argued, gently nudging him towards the wall.
"But I can get a fresh one for you from the- why the bloody hell are we arguing over a scone?" Sirius asked curiously.
"I think I'm just deprived of all sorts of things." She said, eyeing him.
"Well it was a delicious scone. You should eat it now, as you can't have all those things you are deprived of. And longing for." Sirius smirked, as they got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, the other Marauders not too far behind them.
"I don't want it now." She said, wrinkling her nose, as Sirius barked the password to the Fat Lady. He let her enter first, and followed her inside. He heard her make a tutting noise.
"What is it?" Sirius asked, looking over her shoulder. She held the scone up in one hand, the Daily Prophet in the other. Smirking, he took the scone out of her hand, and followed her over to a sofa.
"They're at it again, it looks like. Won't be long till they start attacking their own kind. Purebloods, that is." Gwen sighed, shaking her head. "That...that damn Dolohov, my brothers have been trying to get him for ages. And the Lestranges."
Sirius neglected the scone. "When they do, I'll empty my vault and get Gideon and Fabian whatever the hell it is they want."
Gwen continued, "Looks like my being a pureblood won't protect me anymore, They're starting to attack blood traitors…Merlin knows we're all blood traitors. All of us Prewetts…"
Sirius was only about half listening until something dawned on him. There had been a Prewett on the tapestry his family kept of the House of Black. In fact, he was quite sure that his aunt Lucretia married some bloke with the last name Prewett. And he was a ginger. Sirius remembered that much, at least.
In a zombie-like state, he left Gwen sitting on the couch alone. She, however, didn't notice, as she was still reading. He kept thinking back to the tapestry, entering the dormitory looking confused. "All right, Padfoot?" Peter asked.
"There's a Prewett on the Black Family Tree." Sirius said, staring at a spot on the wall. "And...oh god, what if, oh my god, what if I've been snogging my cousin? I can't remember if Uncle Ignatius had kids, he was kind of a hermit, oh my god."
"Did you bother asking Gwen?" Remus asked, crossing his arms. "Because, I'm quite sure you would've known if you two were cousins."
"Kissing cousins. It's an alliteration!" James snorted.
Remus shot him a look which James thought made him look constipated.
"Ha ha, James. That's just...wrong." Sirius made a disgusted look on his face, though laughing at James confusion.
"Go and ask her, you dolt." Peter added.
Sirius was shaking his head, fearing the worst as he went downstairs and found Gwen still reading. As he left he could hear silence, then James. "OH! Kissing starts with a k!"
"Gwen, your dad, he wasn't called Ignatius was he?"
"No, he was called Caspian." Gwen replied. "Ignatius was our mad uncle who married some hag of a woman named Lucretia. We got a card about their wedding, but mum and dad didn't want to, er, associate with her family."
"My family, you mean." Sirius answered. Gwen looked at him with confusion. "Lucretia was my aunt."
"Ah." She replied. "That, er, would have been awkward. Why were you asking anyway?" Gwen asked, looking back at her newspaper.
"Well you know how all purebloods are related." Sirius made a disgusted face that Gwen did not see. "Though this means we're not cousins, since it was your uncle, and not your father that married Lucretia, the hag. Oh thank god. You know, I thought this would've been a sick joke for the powers that be. Make me a womanizer, only to settle down with someone who turned out to be my cousin." He shuddered. Gwen felt her stomach flip at the words 'settle down' but decided to keep the feelings to herself.
"We're not cousins." Gwen laughed. "Maybe by marriage we're whatever, second cousins or something, but I can assure you that anything we do, once this challenge is over, is socially acceptable, and perfectly normal." She turned her attention back to her paper.
"Honestly, my mother would've probably been okay with my settling down with a cousin. Ergh. Pass on a pure family line." Sirius sounded absolutely disgusted.
"And have children with three toes, and missing teeth? Clearly a reason to intermarry." Gwen sniffed.
"I actually thought I'd get a muggle girl just to really piss them off. But a Prewett will do. Especially the sister of two Aurors." Sirius grinned.
"'A Prewett will do'?" She echoed. "Ah so you're settling for me, you haven't, you know, fallen madly in love with me and that's why you're staying with me?"
"There's the fiesty ginger I've been looking for." Sirius grinned, putting an arm around her. "Care to lend me the newspaper?"
Gwen sighed, "Oh fine. I suppose I could finish Bill's scarf." And she handed Sirius the Daily Prophet, before running back upstairs to fetch her knitting.
James came downstairs, to find Lily sitting in an armchair nearby Sirius. Gwen returned with a basket of yarn and knitting needles and sat in her previous spot, Sirius' arm around her. "All right, Evans?" James grinned.
"Just waiting for you, Potter." She replied, with a hint of amusement. "Come on, Hogwarts waits for no one."
After they exited through the portrait hole, Lily felt James take her hand. "Really, James?"
"What?" He asked, dropping her hand immediately. "Sorry, should've asked, probably breaking Head Boy and Head Girl protocol or something."
"It's fine, James." Lily replied, trying to hide her amusement. "Never pictured Sirius to sit down and read a newspaper."
"They looked like an old married couple, wife doing the knitting, husband reading the paper, in front of the fire." James said in a voice that Lily found wistful and endearing. "And yes to Sirius reading. He hears something and remembers it forever, mind of a steel trap. Taught me to watch what I say."
"Apparently, he didn't teach you soon enough, you could've used it 'round fifth year." Lily grinned, nudging him gently as they walked through the empty corridors.
"Ah, well, we were all foolish once, nay?" James grinned. "Actually foolishness for me will continue for quite a while, especially tomorrow."
Lily stopped, and looked at him, her green eyes searching his hazel for any hint. "What...James Potter, is happening tomorrow?"
"I've already said too much!" He grinned. "It will be...you'll see."
---
Peter was looking at the pumpkin, brow furrowed in concentration. "Moony, you know I'm horrible at charms. How on earth am I supposed to duplicate this?"
"Wormtail, Prongs and Padfoot can deal with that, all you have to remember is how to levitate them all. I'm still working on how to get them to act at the same time." Remus replied, leafing through his papers.
"I can see why Gideon and Fabian would've had a tough time with this one." Peter sighed, as he practiced levitating several items in their room all at once. "How's this Moony?"
Remus looked up and grinned. "That'll do, Wormtail. That'll do."
Things were silent in their dormitory until Peter spoke again. "Think we'll get in trouble?"
"I don't doubt it, Wormtail. I don't doubt it." Remus laughed. "It will be worth it, though."
Peter stared at Remus, mouth gaping. "Who are you? Are you really Remus Lupin, are you really all right with getting a detention?"
"We're seventh years. We're near halfway through our last year. They should've kicked us out by now based on some of the things we've done. Well, some of the things James and Sirius have done." Remus grinned. "I reckon we're all right though, since our records are, ah, less tarnished, Wormtail."
----
Gwen's brow was furrowed as she stared at Arithmancy homework problem, that, and Lily, not Sirius joined her at her usual table at the library. She actually hadn't seen Sirius all evening, and it wasn't a night for Quidditch practice, so that meant he would normally occupy the spot next to her.
"All right, Gwen?" Lily asked, looking up from her Potions homework. "You look, er, troubled."
"Just can't figure out this assignment." She said, as she turned her head as though it would help her understanding. "And where the bleeding hell is Sirius? This is where he'd normally say something stupid like 'Gwen, quit worrying your pretty ginger head' for a bit of a laugh to clear my head, and then I'd figure out the homework."
Lily laughed. "Oh, Gwen. I think you'd go mad without him."
"I'm mad when he's with me, there's really no winning." Gwen smirked, though she felt herself blushing.
"You're Gwen Prewett?" A small first year Gryffindor asked her. Gwen nodded. He pulled out a feather quill from his bag and gave it to Gwen. Once she held it, it transformed into a sunflower, which, Gwen mentioned in passing ages ago, was her favourite flower.
"Thank you." She said, not looking at the first year, and was more intrigued at the flower. "Oh, there's a note, too?" She asked out loud, when the first year handed her something else.
Lily was admiring the magic. "That was quite good, who's it from?"
"Sirius." Gwen replied.
"Of course." Lily laughed. "Well, read it!"
Gwen read the note before reading it aloud. Knowing Sirius, there may be things written not meant for other people. "Well, it says 'Gwen, Can't make it to the library, you'll see why soon. -Sirius' and then there's a p.s. 'James is a stupid git, you'll also see why, very, very soon.'"
"James is a git!" Lily replied. "Sirius was kind enough to give you a bloody flower, and a note telling you he wouldn't be here. James, on the other hand, who's fancied me for years, allegedly, not so much as a mention of wh-"
Lily was interrupted by a parade of house elves carrying large bouquets of lilies. "What on earth?" Gwen tried to restrain her laughter, but failed miserably as the seventh, and last, elf tried to fit the bouquet onto their study table.
"Seven bouquets?" Lily asked, incredulously.
"The lilies aren't for me, I know that much. They make me sneeze." Gwen grinned, stepping away from the table. Lily found a note in the fourth bouquet. She waited eagerly for Lily to share what the note read, even moreso when she saw Lily blushing.
"It...it says 'None of these lilies are as pretty as you, my Lily-flower.' Merlin, it's so sweet it's almost, no, it is cheesy." Lily commented, though she was grinning.
"Can't blame him for trying." Gwen laughed.
"And the p.s. says 'And I really don't want detention.' What does that-" Lily started to ask before they heard a loud explosion outside of the library. The two girls looked at each other before walking with trepidation to the library exit.
What they saw before them when they left was the entire wing covered, floor to ceiling, paintings, tapestries, suits of armor, statues, all covered in pumpkin innards, the four Marauders standing in the middle of it all, themselves covered, grinning madly at each other.
"I didn't think they'd do that!" James laughed.
Other students began to enter the wing out of curiosity. Gwen saw Sirius laughing with Peter at Remus, who managed to get a bit of pumpkin in his eyes. She couldn't help but grin as she saw that Sirius' hair was plastered to his head, weighed down by the pumpkin that was on his head.
"Oy, you." She laughed. Sirius looked up at her, wiping a bit of pumpkin off of his face as she walked closer to him, trying not to slip on the slick floor. "You've got a bit of pumpkin on you." She said as she tried wiping some more of the pumpkin out of his hair.
He didn't know why he did it, but he wiped a pumpkin covered hand onto her face. "So do you."
There was a moment of silence between them as Gwen processed what he just did. Grinning, she flung the pumpkin she'd just taken out of his hair back at him, and a pumpkin fight between the two ensued.
While Sirius and Gwen were running about, slipping on pumpkin occasionally, Lily was cautiously making her way towards James. "Did, er, did you like the lilies?" He asked, smiling nervously.
Lily, in the ridiculousness of the hallway being covered in pumpkin, momentarily forget about the lilies. "Oh! Yes...they were lovely. Seven bouquets James?"
James chuckled nervously. "Er, I didn't really want to get detention." He saw Lily's face fall. "Oh, and you're very lovely, and pretty and a wonderful girlfriend."
"I'm sure."
"No, really. It's mostly the second part. But I would be lying if I didn't say that not getting detention weighed heavily into the fact that there were seven bouquets." James said quickly.
While James stammered through his conversation with Lily, Remus was using Peter as a shield from the pumpkin flinging. "Sirius, would you quit flinging your seed at Gwen? I'm sure she doesn't want to be sticky and covered in it all day."
Gwen and Sirius stopped, but not because of Remus' request, but the phrasing of his request. Sirius grinned, and with a subtle nod of his head indicated that Peter should move. He flung some pumpkin innards that hit Remus directly on the neck. "Oh, yes, Remus, I'll just fling my seed at you, this is so erotic."
"Who's flinging his seed everywhere?"
"They should see a Healer."
The voices of none other than Gideon and Fabian Prewett interrupted Sirius' attack on Remus. Remus, however, took this as a chance to get back at Sirius. "Oh, Sirius. He was just flinging his seed at Gwen."
Sirius' eyes widened, and he told himself that the werewolf would pay most dearly, with doilies. "Er, no, see, look." He said, pulling Gwen next to him. "No seed. No seed at all. Just juice...er."
Gideon raised an eyebrow as Sirius continued to ramble. "I haven't, I don't think our pumpkins even had seeds. But what pumpkin doesn't have seeds?" He panicked when he saw that Gideon was about to speak. "I didn't touch her pumpkins I swear!"
Gwen let out a sigh, as she put a hand up to her forehead in disbelief. "Honestly, Sirius, just be quiet!"
"This is really well done, though." Fabian mentioned to Peter, who looked positively thrilled that Fabian was speaking to him. He clapped Peter heartily on the back. "What was your part in this?"
"Ah, levitation skills." Peter grinned. "Remus got them to explode all at the same time, it was quite brilliant, and James and Sirius made about twenty of them, after using an enlargement spell."
"So you were flinging juice and seed at my sister?" Gideon asked. Sirius stammered inaudibly
"Oh shut it, Gideon. Get your horrid mind out of the gutter." Gwen replied. "And why in Merlin's name are you wearing dragon hide pants?"
"Ah, don't they look fetching?" Gideon grinned. "Seems the ladies of Hogwarts like how my bum looks in them."
"I'm going to be sick." Gwen replied sourly.
While Gideon continued to regale his bum's appearance in dragon hide trousers, James was fruitlessly trying to convince Lily that the number of bouquets didn't matter, and that he had considered giving her a hundred lilies, when Sirius talked him out of it. "Potter." Lily's voice cut into James' long-winded ramblings.
"Er, yes, Evans?" James asked.
"Shut up." She replied, and, as portraits would describe it later to anyone willing to hear about the Great Pumpkin Explosion of 1977, she pounced. She caught James off guard, and he nearly slipped backwards, which would have been horrible as he probably would've bitten off her tongue. Luckily, he caught his balance.
Sirius, who was still rambling, heard Peter whoop, and he turned around to see James and Lily snogging. "Which, who, which one of them started it?" Sirius asked Gwen. She shrugged, and looked over at Remus.
"Don't ask me." He said, holding his hands up in defense.
"Well if you ask me," An old man from a portrait exclaimed, "I was surprised that he didn't fall backwards the way she jumped on him like that. Lucky fellow."
Sirius gasped as he realised what this meant. He looked at Remus who gave him a nod of approval, then he looked at Gwen, who, he just now realised, was holding his hand. She seemed to have been going through the same thought process. "So…"
"So." Sirius echoed.
"Suppose you could kiss me now." She mumbled, and she saw out of the corner of her eye, Fabian stepping over to Gideon, a hand on his shoulder to hold him back.
"Might be awkward, as we're covered in pumpkin." Sirius commented. He didn't know why he was feeling so nervous. He'd done his fair share of snogging. This should be no different. And yet it was. It was so very different, because this girl was the girl. She wasn't some bird he'd picked up...wherever, or some member of his fan club eagerly waiting for a snog. She didn't want to snog him because of who he was, he decided, but perhaps who he became.
"Would you just snog her already?" Gideon's voice interrupted Sirius' thoughts. He saw Gwen give Gideon a reproving glare. Sirius put his hand on her waist, bringing her closer. He wiped pumpkin off of her face, grinning nervously at her.
"You smell horrible." Gwen found herself saying, their faces, lips, inches away from each other. "I mean, really, really horrible. And you're dripping pumpkin on me. Disgusting."
Sirius grinned at her. "I know, you're looking fetching, covered in pumpkin."
Gwen's face was hot. Very very hot. She wondered why the pumpkin on her face wasn't frying, her face was that hot. She heard Gideon ask the same question again, this time adding. "Turn around, Fabian, this is not for our eyes."
"Snog her properly, eh, Black? We don't want to hear that our sister is stuck with some fish for a snogger. Prewetts deserve better than fishy snogs." Fabian said, before turning around.
And so Sirius kissed her. It was not, most definitely not, a fishy snog. Far from it. It tasted, well, frankly it tasted like pumpkin. And it was sticky. They heard an anguished scream and looked over at Gideon and Fabian. "The git turned around too fast." Fabian explained, as Gideon's loud histrionics filled the halls.
"My eyes! My precious, beautiful, brown eyes!" Gideon whined. "Scarred! Damaged! Never to see again!"
"Oh hush up you stupid tit." Gwen laughed. "Like mine aren't scarred with those stupid trousers you're wearing."
"I tried to talk him out of it, I really did." Fabian smirked, as Gideon continued to fill the hall with extremely fake sobs. Gwen rolled her eyes, and left Sirius' side to go and pretend to comfort her overdramatic brother.
Sirius felt a hand clap him on the back. "Ah, James. Have a good snog? I did."
"You do know what this means though, for you and Gwen." James grinned. "I was going to say something about you stealing my thunder, but I decided that I really don't care."
"Where is your precious Lily-Flower anyway?" Remus asked, tearing his eyes away from the sight that was Fabian looking ready to kick his brother.
James turned around, the other Marauders followed suit. "Ah bless her." Peter grinned. Lily was talking to Dumbledore, and they all clearly overheard Dumbledore lament that this many pumpkins would have made for delicious pumpkin bread.
"Oh,honestly, Gideon, this coming from the person who sent me a rather long letter about his first snog, and his first shag?" Gwen muttered. Gideon immediately stopped. "Yes, forgotten about that have you? Because I haven't. Ten years old, mentally scarred for life..."
"Er...blocked it out, mainly because of Molly's, erm, reaction." Gideon explained as he stood. "And it looks as though Sirius wants your company, and that he should be about two feet away from you during said company."
Gwen rolled her eyes. "No, Gideon, maybe I won't be two feet away from Sirius Black. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll write it in an extremely detailed letter that's two feet of parchment long."
Sirius wished she actually did something to warrant a two foot long letter. He thought it was the pumpkin. But Gwen, though she did give him a proper snog, kept to her shrewish form, and didn't give into Sirius Black's wiles. That ginger temptress.
Some author's notes:
With the end of "Mating of the Wersh," I feel like I should say something important, such as:
I would like to thank, first and foremost, my beta fuegodealmas, for enduring countless hours of my grammatical mistakes, plot prodding, and general ridiculous behavior that is unbecoming of someone in "college university".
Again many many many thanks to you lovely reviewers! I hope I haven't kept you all waiting!!
I would also like to mention that the song that was usually (nay, always) playing when I was writing was: "Every day is a holiday with you" -Esthero feat. Sean Lennon. So, if you're feeling particularly sappy, start reading the Wersh from Chapter 9, with this song playing. You will overload on the sweetness. You will, you will.
Many many thanks to fellow Sirius lover, EveyM for britpicking, long conversations on Sirius' up-against-the-wall-lip-nibbling tactics, and the damaging after-effects of alcohol. They were highly entertaining. They were.
Moste profuse thanks to Rach, the quintessential fellow crazy person for the countless jokes that have sprung up from making fun of hapless James, or sexless Sirius, or the Ginger Temptress that is Gwen Prewett. or her moste sexy-e brothers.
clearly these author's notes aren't beta-ed.
also. there is a completely finished, almost completely beta-ed follow up. It's short. well not short, but only four chapters.
and a oneshot. that one's short. at least for now...
stay tuned!