Finally an update! Inspired by the Christmas episode if only slightly. Enjoy!

Water Weight

"Congratulation, you're pregnant." House said with little enthusiasm. It had been an uneventful day at the hospital, and sadly, if he actually cared of course, this was the most exciting news he had heard all day.

"No I'm not." The young woman said firmly. "I can't, it's not a good time."

"What?"

"Just tell me I'm not pregnant, I'll leave and we can forget that this ever happened."

"Okay." House complied, "You're not pregnant. And nine months from now, when you're still trying to convince your friends and family that the twenty pounds you put on is 'just a little bit of water weight,' don't say I didn't tell you so."

"I'm not pregnant!" She exclaimed.

"You can keep telling yourself that. Just like you keep telling yourself that your butt doesn't look big in those pants, when really it does. But that's okay, most guys like a little, 'junk in the trunk.' This is probably how you got pregnant."

"I'm not! It's just…"

"A little water weight?"