Straight From the Heart
The whole world had to be against him.
That must be it.
There could be no other reason to why every person under the sun (and a few more) kept interrupting them.
Every time Yumi opened her mouth, every time she started to form a word with those deliciously kissable (kissable? He supposed the time apart had made him more desperate then ever) lips of hers, some new person would pop up and ruin her chance to say anything at all. And he so desperately wanted to hear what she wanted to say. (He was beyond desperate now… in much too deep for something as simple life saver –or any other floatable device, a plank of wood, a raft, a ship- to save him)
So, when they walked out into that clearing the last thing he expected was that this entire time, someone, somewhere, was trying to help him.
--
"Okay, nobody'll bother us here," he told her, leaning against the bench. Hoping, that just maybe, they'd get to come out here a lot more often. Just the two of them. To do a lot other things than 'just talk', "Go on, I'm listening."
Oh, how he was listening. And how he was hoping.
She walked away, her back to him. Not that he really minded, the back view was just as pleasant as the front.
"Right," she said hesitantly, nervously. He wondered why, perhaps he should say something… this didn't sound like it was heading off in the direction he wanted to, and this moment, this conversation should be perfect, "I think we've both been running around in circles." How she hated to say this. Each word brought a new stabbing pain to her heart. She never knew it could hurt this bad, in so many places.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go.
"We have?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow to no one in particular. He didn't like the way she was talking, she seemed nervous, but not the good kind of nervous. Not the kind of nervous that meant she was going to confess her undying love to him, the kind of nervous that made it seem like she was about to tell him any good news. And them? They would be good news. They would be very good news.
She still wasn't facing him. He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all.
He find he'd like the words coming out of her mouth a lot less.
She rushed through it, wanting it to all be over as soon as possible. Hoping, that maybe the pain would lessen with each word. It didn't, it only seemed to get worse, "One day we're together, the next day we're not. One day you're jealous, the next day I am. And that's why I think we've got to clear up our relationship," he didn't supposed this would end with a kiss (or several for that matter), like the way he planned it would. How he wished he could hate her, hate her for doing this to him. But he knew he never would, "We can be friends. That's all."
The world came crashing down onto him in that very moment.
"Huh?"
It was the only thing he could come up with. He thought his heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces. He thought every horrible cliché in the book. He thought she had just taken out his heart and stamped on it. Except, he thought all that would hurt a lot less than this.
"But… what's that supposed to mean… friends that's all?" He couldn't wrap his head around it. This couldn't be Yumi. This had to be someone else… it couldn't be Yumi. It just couldn't. Yumi wouldn't do something so awful to him.
She wouldn't ruin a lifetime of love and happiness over nothing at all. She wouldn't ruin them. She just wouldn't. She had to want this as much as he did. She had to lay awake imagining what it would be like to hold him in her arms. She had to always be wanting that little brush of physical contact. She had to always be waiting for XANA to attack, because that might mean they would get to be together in ways they ever thought possible. She had to think that every part of her life seemed dull and colorless without him. She just had to.
Right?
She still wouldn't look at him, he couldn't blame her. He could barely look at her, "Isn't it clear?" She never would've thought it could hurt this bad. But she was sure she would get over it eventually. It was for the best. She had to take one for the team. She just had to get through this…
She sounded so detached, she sounded so much unlike the Yumi he loved.
He paused for a moment, trying to think of what to say to change her mind. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, to just get her to… to… reconsider. To get her to…
His phone rang, interrupting all coherent thought (as if he was having any).
"Aren't you going to get that?" she asked, still not looking at him. It sounded like she was crying. But, he doubted this Yumi was capable of such emotion.
He wondered if he should pick it up. Maybe Jeremie had some news… maybe a polymorphic specter was on the loose…
He glanced down at the phone in his hands, and than at the back of a sniffling Japanese girl who held his heart.
"No," he said, fumbling with his phone to turn it off, "Not until we straighten this out."
She turned to face him –finally- and he was happy to see she did indeed have tears running down her face as she glared at him, "We've straightened this out, Ulrich. Now, that's probably important…" She gestured to the phone.
"Not more important than this," he said firmly, grabbing onto her arm to keep her from running away. He locked glances with her, "Nothing is."
She gave him a glare, but he was kind of glad she hadn't laughed in his face. Like he thought this Yumi would.
"Ulrich, come off it-" She said, trying to tug her arm away. But he could tell she didn't really want to, or else she would've been long gone by now. He was glad about that much.
"No Yumi," he said, disciplining her like a parent would a child, "This doesn't make any sense."
She yanked her arm away from him, and though she didn't run away like he feared she would, she stood her ground and began shooting daggers at him. "Yes, it does," she hissed at him. Why couldn't he see this? Did he have to make it that much harder for her? She was ready to combust at any moment.
He restrained the urge to sigh. He couldn't back down now. He couldn't let this get away from him. He couldn't live with himself if he let Yumi get away from him, "No, it doesn't. You can't do this Yumi."
"Can't do what?" She sounded so exasperated, he almost thought it was cute. And it would've been too, if it hadn't been about this.
He decides to be honest, and straight forward, "You can't just decide we're going to just be friends. It doesn't work that way."
"What do you mean it doesn't 'work that way'?" she was still glaring at him, that anger in her eyes. The drive in her eyes. It's part of why he's in this mess called love right now.
"You can't just decide that we're not going to feel the way we feel because you don't like it. Just because you decide to dub our relationship as 'just friends' doesn't mean I'm not going to be jealous. It doesn't mean you're not going to jealous. It's not going to change anything," he said. Trying to explain to her why they wouldn't work out like that. They could only work out one way… They'd come too far to give it all up for whatever stupid reason she had in mind.
After all, only a stupid reason could keep them apart.
"Yes it does," She was fighting back the urge to cry more than ever. He could hear it in her voice. He didn't understand why she was making all of this so complicated. She didn't understand why he was making all of this so much harder than it had to be.
"No, Yumi," he said, standing strong in voice and stance. Yumi hates it when he does this. It makes her fall a little bit more in love with him each time he does, and she doesn't want to be any more in love with him then she already is. In fact, she doubts if it's even possible, "You know you can't just decide you don't like the way you're feeling. Nothing is going to change by us pretending to be 'just friends'."
"Yes it will," tears were blurring in her eyes, stinging her, but she couldn't wipe them away in front of him, "That's exactly what it means. It means that everything, all of this," she gestured around madly, wanting this to end, "Is going to go away. Because, we're just friends."
He would've chuckled if the situation wasn't so humorless. She's glad he didn't, or else she probably would have thrown all caution to the wind and kissed him for it, "It doesn't work that way. It's not going to change anything. It's not going to change how we feel, what we really are. We're just labeling it something else, denying ourselves… it just doesn't work that way." At least, he hopes it can't work that way, because he's all in and he wants her to be too.
She looked up, glaring at him with all of that intensity in her eyes. Oh, how he wishes he could kiss her, right here, right now, "Why not?"
He glares back, she melts a little with each word spoken, finding herself subconsciously floating closing to him, "I won't let it."
"Ulrich…" Her words are softening, loosing their resolve. And she knows he knows, with that twinkle in her eye. She can't hold out much longer. Why does he have to be so terribly romantic?
"Yumi…" His words soften, and their faces near one another. He can't hold out much longer.
And that's when it happened.
They kissed.
It was magical, it was real, it was wonderful, it was horrible, it was fierce, it was soft, it was blissful, it was terrible, it was perfect.
But it didn't change anything.
Tears still clouding her eyes she looked at him as they pulled away. So many thoughts were running through her head. She didn't know whether to just kiss him or to slap him.
"So, what now?" she asks, deciding to let him make the move for once.
It seemed to be the wise decision.
He grinned and kissed her again.
She kissed back.
It was perfect.
They were, simply, what they were, and nothing would ever change that.