Title: Closure

Summary: The war is over and Harry tries to find a place where he belongs, a place where he can find some peace and begin the life that he has put on hold. Now that he can see clearly at last will he finally discover the feelings he has for his best friend as she helps him heal?

Author's note: This story takes place as Deathly Hallows ends (not after the epilogue because that doesn't exist in my book anymore) This is the first full length story of any kind I've ever written. I have the whole story written so updates should come quickly.

A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine. Go check out his stories, he`s an AMAZING writer!

Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.

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There are two kinds of secrets, those we keep from others and the ones we hide from ourselves.

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He turned away from the painted portraits thinking only of the four poster bed lying waiting for him in Gryffindor Tower, and wondering whether Kreacher might bring him a sandwich there.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Chapter 36

Chapter 1

An eerie calm had descended over the corridors of Hogwarts as Harry Potter made his way to Gryffindor Tower. The atmosphere was still thick with dust from the holes that had been blown in the stone walls of the ancient castle. The dead and wounded had been rounded up and now lay in the Great Hall waiting to be moved to St Mungos.

Harry had begrudgingly been checked over by Madam Pomfrey after Hermione had caught sight of him trying to move through the crowd unnoticed. Unnoticed by everyone but her. Hermione had always had the knack of sensing his presence in a room no matter how invisible he tried to make himself. She had approached him seemingly out of nowhere and enveloped him in a tight hug that was so different from the rest of the hugs he had received that day: she had drawn back and looked at him with a look that Harry couldn't remember seeing on her face before, a look that he couldn't quite place, before running her hands gently over his bruised face, looking him over from head to toe, piercing him with her cinnamon eyes as if trying to reassure herself that he was okay, that he wasn't seriously hurt, that he was alive. She had taken hold of his hand then and, with a gentle yet firm tug, had pulled him in the direction of Madam Pomfrey, who on catching sight of the two Gryffindors had ushered them both into a quiet room off the Great hall.

So now as Harry made his way wearily to Gryffindor Tower through the deserted, dusty corridors, his thoughts where focused upon the events of the day. He kept seeing flashes of the people who had lost their lives in the battle… people he cared about, people who had been like family to him, people he would never be able to see or talk to again. His heart ached; he wondered how an emotional pain could hurt so physically. He felt like he couldn't breathe. There was so much evil in the world and he had gotten rid of a big part of it that day, but it had cost him and the people around him so much.

Harry reached the boys dormitory and threw himself onto his bed, grimacing slightly from the pain in his ribs that still needed time to heal. He looked over sadly at the chair beside his bed that had been Hedwig`s favourite place to perch. He missed her so much; he hadn't had time to grieve for her loss. He had felt her death as much as the others but had had to push her loss out of his mind to be able to make it through the last year. Hedwig had always been there for him at times when he felt like he was alone in the world and had endured the hell that was Privet Drive with him every summer. She had been more to him than just a pet… she had been a good friend.

Harry reached up and wiped the tears from his face that he hadn't realised had been falling. He was exhausted emotionally and physically. His stomach gave a loud growl, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. Just as he thought this, he heard a creak from his door and looked up to see Hermione standing there looking a little uncomfortable.

"Hi," he said, a slight smile crossing his lips. "You coming in or what?"

Hermione`s face broke into a smile at his words and she entered the room and walked over to where Harry lay on the bed.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone of not," she said, sitting down on the end of his bed and tucking her legs below her.

"I'm not quite sure what I want at the minute," Harry replied quietly.

"Well for a start you need some food and some sleep," Hermione stated, looking more sure of herself now.

She reached into her pocket pulling something out that looked like a match box along with her wand. "Engorgio," she said, pointing her wand at the box.

Reaching inside the now enlarged box she pulled out a huge pile of sandwiches, some fruit, chocolate cake and two bottles of pumpkin juice.

"I hope you don't mind if I join you," she said, handing Harry one of the bottles. "I can't remember the last time I ate anything and I'm sure you're the same."

Harry sat up and took the bottle from her, his fingers touched hers and he felt the now familiar jolt of electricity shoot up his arm. He had noticed that when this happened Hermione seemed to feel it too. They locked eyes before they both looked away quickly, Harry muttered a quick thank you as Hermione started to unwrap the sandwiches.

They ate in relative silence, both deep in thought. Every once in a while Harry felt Hermione`s eyes on him but every time he would look up she looked away. He looked at her again, taking in her appearance: she had been through just as much as him. Madam Pomfrey had healed the multiple cuts and bruises she had sustained in the battle that day, but only after much insistence on her part that he had been taken care of first. It turned out that she had just as many injuries as Harry. He could still see faint marks on her face and neck, and she had a bandage on her hand from where a curse had hit her that couldn't be healed instantly by Madam Pomfrey. Sitting there, looking at her, his stomach gave a sudden lurch. He could have lost her. He had nearly lost her a few years ago when she had gone with him to the Ministry of Magic and the thought of nearly losing her again was too much. His stomach gave another unpleasant lurch as an image of her lying unmoving on the floor of the Ministry flashed through his head. Suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, he put down his half eaten sandwich.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry muttered.

"Don't give me that Harry Potter, I know when there's something wrong. Is it Ginny?" she asked quietly.

"No, it's not Ginny," he replied, suddenly realising that he hadn't thought about Ginny since the battle ended. "I… have you seen her?" he asked, not looking at Hermione.

"She's gone home to the Burrow with Ron and her parents and…" she stopped talking and Harry looked up to see her head bowed and her shoulders gently shaking.

"Hermione?" he asked, moving closer to her. He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head. Tears where slowing making their way down her pretty freckled face.

"Ron said… they're taking the bod… Fred… home with them," she said, the last few words coming out in a sob.

Harry let go of her chin and moved closer, wrapping his arms around her tightly as she buried her face in his neck. Hugging Hermione used to be so awkward; he had never experienced physical comfort before he had met her. He had nearly jumped out of his skin the first time she had hugged him, physical contact for him had always been associated with pain. But over the years he had grown comfortable with it, her touching and hugging had been what had kept him going at times. She put so much gentleness and warmth and comfort into the contact she had showed him and Harry was relieved at times like this that he could return comfortably what he hoped was the comfort she had shown him.

"It's all my fault," Harry said quietly as Hermione`s sobs started to ease.

"Oh Harry you're wrong, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault and no one blames you," she told him, drawing out of his embrace.

"How can you say that! Voldemort was after me, all those people died because of me," he said, wiping angrily at the tears that where now falling from his eyes.

"Harry, you did the right thing. Even though people died, it was the right thing to do. Look at me," she said as she reached for his hand, linking her fingers with his. He raised his head and she reached out, unable to resist the urge to wipe away his tears. "You were prepared to face your responsibilities and do what you had to do, knowing that there would be consequences. People died Harry, but so many more would have lost their lives if you hadn't acted when you did! You were the only person who could end this war, and you put an end to it before it put an end to us! Voldemort was getting stronger by the day and he needed to be stopped, you stopped him, you saved us Harry." Tears once again flowing freely down her face.

"I know… I had no choice… it just…it hurts so much," he said, letting out a loud sob. Hermione let go of his hand and pulled him to her. They held each other tightly as they cried. Cried for the people they had lost, the families that had been torn apart, the fact that the world as they knew it had now changed, that it was all over, that they had won. The threat of Voldemort that had been hanging over the world for so long was finally gone.

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