I tried something a little different with this story. I don't know. I like it, I think. I'll update when I have time, or skip class. My life is beyond hectic at the moment.
Chiaroscuro
Book One
Chapter One: The Past
This is a story about a boy. He is the age of a man, but has so much room to grow. Let us just call him a boy for the purpose storytelling.
The boy grew up in a quite town. Not too big, not too small -- just enough to do to keep any child busy.
The boy played with the children on his block. Somehow, he was always the only boy present in his group of friends.
So, the boy spent his afternoons playing Barbies and house with girls. He didn't mind it much. Actually, he found the girls quite entertaining.
As the boy grew, he noticed he was different from everyone else. The boy was friends with girls while most boys his age thought girls were disgusting.
Even as the boy grew into that awkward stage where puberty takes over, he still found himself different from the rest.
The boy didn't like girls. He just liked being around them. He liked to confide in them. They were his friends.
As the boy grew, he started to hang out with boys. He missed the company of girls. He longed for their friendship.
Over time, however, people grow on you. You learn to deal with their presences, and sometimes even befriend those whom you used to dislike. Tolerance eventually crosses the fine line and becomes friendship.
When the boy reached high school, he still hadn't had a girlfriend. Most boys his age had been "dating" for years, but our boy was abstinent from the world of dating.
It's not that he didn't want to date; it's just that he hadn't found anyone worth dating.
Finally, the boy found a nice girl to date. They were happy together. They talked all the time and made each other laugh--for a whole seven days.
After his first break-up, the boy was done with dating. You see, the heartache associated with any form of breaking up hurt the boy deep down. He hated rejection. He hated not being loved in return. He hated being told he wasn't liked. It wasn't worth it to be hurt so many times. So, the boy stopped dating. He would wait for "the one."
His junior year of high school he met a boy named Seifer. The boy knew Seifer was different from the rest of his boy friends. He connected with Seifer. He wanted to be with Seifer all the time.
He liked Seifer.
Luckily for the boy, Seifer liked him back. The boy was hesitant to start a relationship, so he opted for a few dates here and there until he knew Seifer was the one.
The boy waited for what seemed like ever to say 'I love you.' He wanted it to be special. When Seifer finally said, "I love you." The boy was ready.
The next few months were the best the boy had ever experienced. Seifer made the boy feel special. He made the boy feel loved.
One day the boy found Seifer's journal online. Sure, Seifer had many journals, but the boy hadn't checked this one in a while. In fact, he had forgotten about this journal all together.
So the boy read.
What the boy read broke his heart. Seifer had found a new boy in the city. Seifer had cheated on the boy. Seifer had broken the boy's heart beyond repair.
So, the boy swore off other boys. He found himself a nice girl and settled down. Well, settled down as much as one settles at the tender age of 17.
The boy stayed with the girl even as he started college. The girl was still in high school, but the boy didn't care.
Two and a half years passed. The boy continued college, and the girl continued high school.
The boy had found someone who loved him. The boy had found security. The boy thought he was happy.
The boy's name is Sora Hayashi.
This is his story.
Chapter Two: Just Another Night
"Hurry! We're going to be late," the sound of Kairi's voice echoed through Sora's mind.
He held the phone away from his ear. He didn't need someone to tell him about the time, he was fully aware he was going to be late. "There were protesters blocking the bus stop. I already told you that. I'll be there soon, bye!"
Sora snapped his phone closed. Kairi had gotten on his last nerve. Sora had spent the entire day at the university. Class proved to him that he couldn't write and going home proved to him that he wasn't appreciated.
He ran around his house grabbing CDs and changing his shirt. Tonight there was a show. A show he didn't really want to go to, but Kairi did, and since Kairi couldn't drive, he offered to take her.
So, the boy got into his grandma's car. His had died the week earlier. He started the car and his journey to Kairi's house.
He always had music playing while driving to Kairi's but never did the songs reach his ears. The boy sat and thought.
He was a junior magazine journalism major at Kent State University. Only a few semesters left until freedom, but that freedom seemed to be moving far away. The boy was burdened with homework and stories. He wasn't happy, and no one, not even Kairi, seemed to care.
The boy pulled into her driveway and pulled out a book. He had to have it read and a short paper done by tomorrow. He already knew he would skip class in the morning to finish it. He sighed as the words on the pages filled his mind.
Knock knock knock, the sound of Selphie banging on the driver's side window snapped Sora out of the imaginary land the book had created. He rolled his eyes and unlocked the doors.
The two girls climbed in the car. Sora looked at Kairi in the passenger seat. She didn't kiss him hello. It bothered Sora that she didn't kiss him, but he wouldn't tell her that. He wanted Kairi to figure it out for herself.
You see, it's the little things that get you down deep. The little things that drive you insane. The little things that cause you to take a stance.
The little things are what cause change.
So the boy drove. The drive to Cleveland was a long one, partially because he didn't know the way well, partially because he knew he had other things to be doing.
As the three entered the outskirts of the city, Kairi grew antsy.
"We're lost. I have to pee. I wasted so much money going to this concert," Kairi's complaints seemed to never end.
"Well, maybe if you told Sora the correct way to go, we wouldn't be in bum fuck nowhere," Selphie said.
All Sora wanted to do was scream. He wanted to scream at his ungrateful girlfriend for not seeing how much her words hurt him. He was giving up sleep and homework to be with her tonight. He would miss classes that he should be going to just to make her happy.
And here was Kair, simply wasting money.
The small venue was one of Sora's favorites. The walls of the Grog Shop told a story. Covered with writing, stickers and pictures: the walls showed concertgoers the venue's history.
It was a small crowd that night; perfect for a small venue. Sora, Selphie and Kairi crowded around an amp near the stage. Selphie stood between Sora and Kairi. Lately, that's how it's been: Selphie in the middle.
Sora noticed that his and Kairi's light was fading. He kept holding on to her, because two and a half years is a long time to waste on a relationship. He wanted to be with her. He didn't want to hurt. So he dealt with the things Kairi was doing to him.
The music blared through the venue. The three frequently found themselves in the mosh pit, hitting, pushing and elbowing everyone in sight. But those times where Sora found himself next to Kairi, were the ones that hurt the most.
Words were hard to understand over the bass and guitar, so he would try to hold his girlfriend. He wanted, no needed, to feel her close. Kairi would just smile and bat him away. She wasn't trying to hurt him, but every time she would smile and kiss his cheek instead of his lips, a knife went through Sora's heart.
Sora lead Kairi and Selphie out of the Grog Shop and onto the streets of Cleveland.
She didn't hold his hand.
Chapter Three: The beginning of something different
Alarm clocks are a horrible invention. Everyone reading this must agree. The noise they make is the perfect tone to wake you up in the most horrible of ways. Not to mention, alarm clocks bring us out of dreams, and sometimes dreams are better than reality.
Sora, luckily, woke up before his alarm went off. He had skipped his first two classes, like planned.
Hands hunted for the book he needed to read for class. His mind was ready to let go of reality and fall into an author's make-believe world.
He held the book close to his chest. The last few words on its pages had brought tears to his eyes. Happy endings always did that to him, even if it was a children's book he was reading.
Sora should have picked up his geography book and started studying. He should have never reached for his laptop and got online.
Patience is truly a virtue. Anyone who tells you different is wrong. Remember that.
If Sora had waited until his emotions had subsided, he probably wouldn't have gotten as worked up over what he found.
Sora was an aspiring journalist. He had a few positions with newspapers and magazines on campus. The boy could write. No one had ever told him otherwise.
The class he was in, print beat reporting, was tearing him apart. All the confidence in his writing was evaporating every time his editor didn't publish his story. Even though Sora had columns published every week, he wanted his stories published. He worked hard on them.
So, Sora logged on to KentNewsNet. He typed his name into the search bar. The screen loaded.
"What the fucking hell!?" Sora pushed his laptop from his lap.
His story wasn't published. He had worked for weeks on that story. He had been late to work for that story. And it wasn't published.
His eye began to twitch. It was the final straw. Between Kairi, class, work and his writing, he was done. Done with Ohio. Done with school. Done with it.
The mouse clicked "compose" and he began. He began the steps that would forever change his life, and he knew it. He knew with every word he typed he was losing all the ties to this life. Finally, he was breaking free.
He clicked "send," and it was over. Sora had sent his application to the Leicester University in England, and he would be dammed it he didn't get accepted.
Chapter Four: Closing the door.
One month later, Sora sat with Kairi on his twin bed. She had chosen Resident Evil 2 to watch.
Certain things he loved about Kairi. She loved video games and crappy horror movies. They could talk at any point in the day. Her smile was amazing. Her kisses were infectious. And the sex was to die for.
Please know, that no matter what anyone tells you, sex is important. No matter what a girl says, size does matter. That's just how it is.
If you have had sex, you know what I'm talking about. Sex is wonderful. It's magical. It makes you feel like you've never felt before. It takes you somewhere else, where nothing matters but the way you feel. The only person there is your partner. It's amazing.
If you haven't had sex, I suggest you try it before you put down those who have.
This particular day was an important day for Sora. He had to tell Kairi he was accepted. Not only did he have to tell her of his acceptance, he had to tell her he had applied. And before he told her he had applied, he had to tell her why he clicked "send" that day not so long ago.
He had to end their relationship.
So now, I bring you the first real conversation of this boy's story. At least, the first conversation that has meant anything thus far. Note the pain, note the hurt, but most of all, note Sora's need for change.
Sora's hand moved from around Kairi to the floor. His attention diverted from the movie to a piece of paper. Kairi noticed this change.
"What are you doing?" Kairi rolled to her side and put an arm around the boy.
He pushed the arm off of himself and sat up. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."
Sora could have handed her the acceptance letter and let her find out on her own, but he owed her more than that. He owed her and explanation. He knew his words would hurt her, but they needed to be said. Down inside, Sora was a good person--a good person who knew what he had to do.
"I'm not getting published enough here. I'm putting in more effort and not seeing results,' Sora paused for air.
"I've noticed," Kairi sat up next to the boy. "You've been pretty upset about that for a while."
"Yeah, well, I've been upset about a lot of things," Sora turned to look the girl in the eye. Sure, Kairi hadn't directly done anything wrong, but it's the little things. Remember the discussion on little things? Well, he was done with little things; he was ready for big changes.
"You don't hold my hand. You don't kiss me in public. You bitch about things I do for you. You're not forgiving. You ignore me. I'm done with it, Kairi. I'm moving on and starting over," Sora stated as he handed her the letter. He didn't cry, smile, frown, shout, laugh, snort, cough, exclaim, whisper or yell—he simply stated the end of their relationship.
You can't argue with a statement.
Kairi's eyes filled with tears. The girl hadn't expected her actions to hurt Sora.
The truth is, she was changing. When you date someone for so long at a young age, someone is bound to change. Sora and Karir both had changed. Their relationship could have gone on for a few more years, but ultimately, it would have ended. It was just a matter of time.
It wasn't entirely her fault she had hurt Sora. People change. Change hurts. It's a vicious circle.
"Okay," was all she could say. She couldn't argue. They had broken up earlier that year. She told him the next break up would be their last. "This is what you want."
"Yes. It is," Sora said. "We're still friends. I'll still call you. I'll still love you. But, Kairi, I must move on. I need to get the fuck out of here."
And the boy did just that.
Chapter Five: Opening a new path
Sora held his carryon close to his chest as his parents hugged and kissed him. His parents knew they had to let go. Their son was 20. It was time to let go.
"We love you," his dad said as he patted Sora's shoulder.
Sora smiled to his father, "I love you guys, too. I'm not, like, disappearing. Just going away for a semester. I'll be back in June."
Sora's mom knew better. She knew that Sora had the same traveling gene as she. Her whole life she was waiting for the day she could escape America and explore everywhere else. She knew once Sora saw the ocean, England, Europe he would be gone.
"We'll miss you," she smiled through her tears. "Call and write."
"Everyday," Sora said. He gave his mom and dad one last embrace. Then he was off.
Airport security: what a waste. A full 40 minutes later, Sora had taken off and put his shoes back on, been searched three times and had his luggage sniffed by drug dogs. He was ready for the long trip across the Atlantic. He was ready for a nap.
The flight attendants went through the usual motions, showing the exits and bathrooms. By the time they were done, Sora was asleep.
Dreams are little glimpses of feelings and reality. They're important. They mean something. What that something is, is found out in time….
Sora laid on a bed surrounded by stuffed animals. It reminded him of Kairi's bedroom. A tear formed at his cheek at the thought of the girl he had left.
Rolling over, Sora saw that the bed wasn't in Kairi's room, but in the middle of London. Sora's eyes grew at the site of thousands of people wondering the streets. He could see Big Ben off in the distance.
As he stepped from the bed to the street, he was suddenly on a Double Decker bus. Standing on the top deck, he held onto the railing for his life.
The bus was traveling at remarkable speeds for such an un-aerodynamic machine. Sora looked around and instead of seeing England's cityscapes and suburbs, he saw his memories flashing by. Thousands of tiny memories: walking down the hallway at age six, eating cheesecake at age nine, sleeping with Kairi at age 17. All the memories were in front of him.
One scene was unfamiliar. Sora reached over the bus to try to be a part of this new scene.
There stood a castle, surrounded by trees and gardens. It was dark, but a small light shown in on of the castle's many windows.
Sora felt a longing for that light. Even though the darkness was easier to reach, he wanted to touch the light. He was momentarily obsessed with it.
Turbulence woke Sora from his dream. He looked out the window. His eyes took in the sight of the sun rising from the horizon line shining on the ocean.
That, my friend, is true beauty.
Many hours later, the plane descended upon London. Leicester was a ways out of the city. His journey there is not what's important, but what he found in the university is.
British colleges are different from those in America. Students don't live with roommates. Almost all of them live by themselves in dorm rooms. Sora, being from America, wanted a roommate. He wanted social interaction.
Sora was the first exchange student in his residence hall to arrive. He was told his roommate was a native, but his roommate had yet to grace the college with his presence. Sora only knew his name since it was plastered on the door.
"Roxas," Sora muttered. "Sounds like a chic's name."
He tried to open his door, but it was definitely locked. Sora banged his head on the door. What a perfect way to start my new college career, he thought.
If the door had opened, some other American would have had the pleasure of spotting him. If Sora had remembered to sign in and get his key, this story would be in vain.
But, he didn't. You see, Sora was the first of the exchange students to meet their RA. He was the first to see him.
"Someone need a key?"
Sora turned around and his breath was taken away. "I..I..Yes," Sora said to the sexiest man he had ever seen. Sora's heart rate sped up as his mind slowed down, taking in the site that lay before him.
The man laughed, "I'll let it slide this time. Next time, it'll cost you." The man winked at Sora.
Sora nodded as the man opened his door. "Thanks," Sora said quietly.
"No prob. Name's Riku. I'm your RA," the man named Riku said. He reached out a hand to the boy.
"Sora," he said as he shook the hand in front of him.
"Nice to meet you," Riku smiled. His smile was what sealed the deal. Sora was automatically addicted to that smile. The green eyes and long silver hair only added to Riku's perfect smile.
"Floor meeting at 8 tonight. See ya then," Riku waved and exited the room.
Sora stood in his new dorm thinking about the man he had just seen. The boy hadn't looked at his room. He didn't even know if he had his own bathroom.
All Sora knew was that after seeing Riku, girls were out of the question. After seeing Riku, all the pain of the past melted away.
End of Book One
Hope you enjoyed the intro. More to come.
--Sarah-Emily