Author's Note: Err...yeah. I was originally gonna add this to "Of Dolls and Manly Honor", but the time's kind of different, and so is the premise...I think.

Anyway. This is yet another one-shot, written to answer a weird SasuHina-related question I asked myself when I was bored out of my mind in school. The cheesy, awkward, and downright uncool title...is the result of my brain turning to mush after a teacher's speech. I actually thought out most of the story the first week of school, but it's taken me over a month to find the piece of paper I originally wrote it down on. XD

So. Um...yeah. I hope you enjoy. :)

Lessons in SasuHina Shipping

First impressions count. Uchiha Sasuke, for example, was a brilliant example of this. Blackish-blue hair, a spiky, gravity-defying haircut, an eternal almost-smirk on his otherwise stoic face-he practically radiated coolness. In that cool, "I'm turning five and a half in a few weeks and you aren't" way, of course.

Why was this coolness important right now? Simple. It was the first day of school and while regular five year olds cried and pouted and did non-ninja-like things, Sasuke was...well, doing the exact same thing.

"Sasuke, please stop sniffling. It's only for a few hours...besides, you want to become a good ninja like your papa and I, right?"

"I'm not sniffling," Sasuke mumbled, eyelashes suspiciously wet.

"Sasuke...Itachi might come in to help one of the teachers demonstrate the importance of clan traits. You don't want your older brother to see you cry, right?"

In less than three seconds, Sasuke's face was completely dry-eyed and looking as cool as a five year old's face could try to be.

"That's better! I hope you enjoy your first day of school, dear!" his mother said cheerfully as she walked away.

Sasuke briefly wondered whether his mommy was aware of her own trickiness.

"U-u-um...excuse me, but you haven't s-seen a boy named Neji around here, h-have you?" Sasuke turned around to see a stammering girl his own age glancing nervously at him.

"How would I know what his name was?" he asked.

"H-he k-kinda looks like m-me," she added.

"Oh. Same eye color?"

"Y-yes. He's my nii-san, only I sort of got seperated from him," she explained apologetically.

Oh. A nii-san. Sasuke nodded sympathetically. "If he's also got long hair and doesn't smile much, he went that way," he said, pointing a direction.

"Thanks. A-ah, my name's Hinata."

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. Good luck finding your nii-san."

"Thanks," the girl repeated with a smile as she ran off.

Sasuke blinked before smiling back.

Huh, this girl wasn't so strange. Sasuke wondered what Itachi-niisan had meant when he'd pulled him to the side in the morning and warned him about female classmates. Hinata wasn't scary at all!

Five minutes later, Sasuke ran into other, non-Hinata girls.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he confirmed the fact that yes, Itachi was always right.

Girls were very scary indeed.
As soon as he entered the classroom he was assigned to, Sasuke spotted the girl from before. Hinata, he thought, slightly proud that he'd remembered the name. He waved to her for two seconds before he realized that it didn't look cool. Besides, it certainly wasn't the kind of impression he wanted to leave on his classmates. Looking back up at Hinata, Sasuke realized something:

The girl was blushing at what that blond idiot had said, and ignoring him. Ignoring him. Him, Uchiha Sasuke of all people. Sasuke gave a slight cough and, speaking his first words since he'd entered the crummy classroom, said in his very calmest voice...

"You look like a tomato."

Large pale eyes turned to look at him as the girl's cheeks reddened even more and her lower lip started wobbling.

"I...I'm sorry..."

"You've got nothing to apologize for, Hinata-chan!" Naruto smiled comfortingly. Just as quickly, he turned around and glared at Sasuke, pouncing on the opportunity to pick a fight. "Errrgh, you're a moron! She doesn't look like a tomato at all! Hina-chan looks like a girl, so there!"

"...whatever."

Sasuke quickly got bored. School wasn't interesting at all-he'd learned all of these basics quite a few months ago. Unattentive eyes roaming, he became aware of the fact that Hinata was conveniently sitting in front of him, sitting up as uncomfortably straight as humanly possible.

"Hey. Tomato."

He watched with amusement as the girl turned around, cheeks turning a pale pink already. "Um...it's Hinata...um...what's y-your name, again? Ah, th-that's right, Naruto-kun said I should t-try to make friends...um...i-it's nice to meet you."

Sasuke gave her a blank stare. This girl was an idiot if she could remember Narutard's name and not his.

"What, you have a crush on me too like the other girls? No way, you'll give me cooties."

Cheeks flamed a full red. "I-I t-t-thought we might b-be friends," she stuttered, obviously upset.

"...it's Sasuke," he half mumbled afterwards, softer.

Dinnertime was important to Sasuke. For one, it was a time when he could actually see his mommy and daddy and Itachi-niisan all at once. For another, it meant dessert right afterwards, and being the smallest meant getting the extra-big piece.

That's why Sasuke became enraged when he spotted an unknown food on his plate. "What's this?" he asked, poking around it carefully in case it turned out to be from an unacceptable food group.

"It's a tomato," his mother explained patiently.

"What's that?"

"It's a kind of vegetable. It's good for you," his mommy said soothingly.

"Botanically speaking, it's a fruit. Not that good for him, considering the alternatives," Itachi-niisan corrected disinterestedly before resuming his meal.

Sasuke blinked at the fruit. Vegetable. Whatever.

It was red and soft and harmless-looking, but somewhere deep within his childhood wisdom, Sasuke knew it was evil. Stuff that his mommy said was good for him usually was.

"Sasuke, just try it," his mommy's voice said, loud and exasperated.

"No. I don't wanna," Sasuke insisted, lower lip shaping into what looked suspiciously like a pout.

"It's good," his mother insisted.

"No."

Tomatoes were weird. They were strange and unknown, and you couldn't tell how they'd taste-at least with fruits and vegetables, you knew what to expect. Fruits were sickeningly sweet and got crushed easily and generally meant a mess. If anything, vegetables were worse-they tasted dull and watery or tough and flavorless or were annoyingly spicy. Sasuke disliked fruits and he didn't like vegetables.

Tomatoes, on the other hand, were different. Sasuke was sure in his five-year-old mind that he hated them.

The next day of school was show-and-tell day-something, Sasuke concluded, that was just a way to waste time while kids decided who had the better toy. He'd brought an honest-to-goodness jutsu scroll, of course, and sat by boredly while everything from puppies to empty instant ramen cups were introduced. Finally, it was Hinata's turn.

"U-um, I b-brought t-tomatoes f-for s-show-and-tell...I uh, g-grew them myself." Sasuke resisted the urge to tease Hinata, five-year-old curiosity getting the best of him. The basket she was holding was full of the suspicious food his mother had been trying to feed him for a week-why would anybody his age willingly grow such stuff?

"Did you really grow the tomatoes yourself? That must have required a lot of patience, Hinata. You should be very proud of yourself," Iruka said kindly, smiling at her.

Hinata nodded, tiny blush on her face. "I-if anybody w-wants a-any...p-please feel f-free..."

Five year old and six year old faces, Naruto's included, scrunched up with disgust. Eat vegetables? No way!

Realizing the tomatoes were unwanted, Hinata's face fell.

"Hey, Tomato," Sasuke began.

Hinata looked up at him, cringing as soon as she heard the nickname. It was almost as if she was afraid of him, Sasuke thought. "U-um...yes?"

"I'll guess I'll have one," he said resignedly, walking up to the front of the class and grabbing the closest tomato.

"U-um...th-thanks," she murmured so softly it took all of Sasuke's ears' abilities to hear.

...just because he was biting it didn't mean he'd like it. In fact, one bite and Sasuke was sure he'd hate it more than anything in the-

Sasuke's eyes widened.

The tomato had a pale sweet flavor, as if it was candy that had had all the sugar taken out of it but was still juicy.

It tasted a bit bland, and there was a hint of tartness there, as if the tomato fell just short of having personality.

It tasted, in short, nothing like either a fruit or a vegetable. More like a weird, weak hybrid.

Sasuke loved it.

"U-um...Sasuke? Would you l-like another tomato, th-then?" Hinata asked, cheeks still red.

"Since you insist, Toma-Hinata," he muttered, grabbing another and biting into it suspiciously quickly.

Okay so tomatoes weren't bad at all. They weren't fruits and they weren't vegetables-they were in a class of their own. So maybe Sasuke really liked them. All of this meant three things:

One: The nickname "Tomato" really did suit Hinata.

Two: It suited her so well Sasuke would now have to stop calling her that.

And

Three: If he planned on getting grades anywhere near Itachi's, less classtime should be spent thinking of ways to make Hinata blush.

Lesson One: In which we learn why Sasuke likes tomatoes

Author's Note:

Yup. This would be the first time I've finished a story this late at night, so forgive me if it's too cheesy/weird/strange. I just felt really guilty about not posting up anything original in the last month. That, and I really wanted to post this story up after it being stuck unwritten in my head for so long. If anybody can think of a better title for this series, please help, since I have no creativity when it comes to titles myself. :)