I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want any of this. Never asked for it. So I walked away. The pain of the truth hurt and I didn't want to have to bear it on my already weak shoulders. Why should I have to?

My Alice, powerful and practically indestructible, forced those who opposed me and came close far away, manifesting itself into white fire that emblazoned me.

Why?

My eyes, pained and far too old to be a young child's were, I knew, empty and devoid of any emotion. My limbs were limp, numb and unwilling to move anymore than to force away those who stood in my way…I didn't want to see any of them. I met her at the crossroads, her violet gaze, daunting and daring me to stay, to hurt her and push her away.

I didn't care about her anymore. I moved my hand forward and shoved her aside. This pain, it was more than me and move than I'd ever dared to imagine possible feel before. But the thought of what they had done to me, torture me and hurt me for the past years, disgusted me.

They used me. For so long they'd toyed with my life without me knowing and I didn't care enough to stop playing the fool and look the monster in the eye, knowing if I did, I'd have found out the truth sooner. I let myself be a fixture here, my life blending into the sophisticated lifestyle and background that didn't suit me. It was never going to end, this blasted saga, was it?

My mind was mostly blank, with only one thought that guided me away. Just one thought echoed through my mind. And I was sure that if I took that path, I would find resolute peace. I would have to leave my life behind. Fine. That didn't matter. This place was messed up. Nothing normal existed here in this goddamned place. My own best friend despised me, seeing me as nothing but a burden, a sacrifice of her time.

So why stay and endure the pain, laughs and stares, gossips, rumors, lies and snarls that were all directed at me? Why endure the pain when I know that all I had shied away from, leaving my depression behind and looking for an impossible happiness and pulling up a seemingly unbreakable façade, only to find that those shadows and demons that I'd tried running from had caught up to me and shattered my peace and mask?

The façade that protected me from unbearable pain. The facade that hid my true face that they said was a curse. The façade that earned itself people who called themselves friends. The façade that disguised my vulnerability and weakness as sheer joy and happiness. The façade that had nearly become me and my entire existence. That wasn't who I was and would never ever become me. I had sunk into that cushy existence for far too long and I knew it would never last. ,

So I wanted to run away from the judging eyes of those who would call me worthless when I revealed what I was truly…

My Alice, infinite power to annihilate, would allow me that at the very least. I had it all mapped out in my mind. I would simply fall off the face of the Earth and they would do well to forget me and be done with it. Forget all that I'd been and the very fact that I'd ever existed. That was for the best. I knew what was best for them and they didn't…or did they? No….no turning back now…ever…

I'd knew you'd never make it, the voice at the back of mind mocked me. Yuu stood in my path, struggling to stop me, but I simply shrugged him away with a flick of my hand.

Shut up, I retorted, hurling Sumire away at the same time.

Knowing you, I thought you'd have run much sooner.

Knowing me… I'm unpredictable.

Touché…continue?

Gladly. I was foolish enough to see if life here, under a mask would be simple. I'd quietly die and the world forgets I ever walked the Earth. Foolish of me to think these…people…would let me go and let me live the way I wanted to.

Not so simple

Hardly. Apparently, 'they' must insist on disturbing me at every turn I make. The past must always catch up, doesn't it? Jinno and Narumi weren't much of a challenge for me as I cast them aside along with the rest of them, discarding them into the heap of bodies that lay in one corner. I stared at the mess I'd made.

Yes, it does. And I remember…your 'esteemed' past.

Shove off before I decided to kill you.

Touchy, touchy…you must be losing your mind. I am you. so if I died, so would you.

Not such a bad idea if I think about it.

I didn't hear its cackling voice as I reached the gate. The people I saw lying on the ground, it didn't sicken me. Ruka was sprawled nearest to the building I had exited having been the first to try and stop me from my rampage. Hotaru, second and worst to try. Mochu, Sumire, Anna, Nonoko, Subaru, Tsubasa, Misaki and the teachers were lined up after. I didn't waver. It was of no more importance. Nevermind that that person wasn't registered in that pile. I didn't care.

I saw Kokoroyumi at the gate, trying to read my mind for any snaches of memory. I released the torrent of suffocating memories to him. I didn't need to stop him physically. No. he didn't retaliate so I would leave him with emotional scars instead. I let him alone after that, his crouching body shivering as one-by-one, the scenes of yesterday flew through his mind's eye. I walked to the gate, and like the mass of bodies behind me, the gate was gone.

And I let myself be swallowed by darkness. I didn't look back once.

I didn't look back at the chaotic mess of people I left behind.

I was stabbed…by the pain and in my hand, the single piece of paper that led to this madness was turned to a crisp. But nevermind it anymore. That person and the rest of them were the same: uncaring, lying.

So I forced myself to break into a run.

Anything…

I would give anything…

To have that monster in me, far, far away…

I ran…

Letting myself go faster…

Letting my past self, the clever façade of a person who was not me, the old me, I, myself, Sakura Mikan disappear far behind me as I continued chasing the long forgotten, delayed and treacherous chase with the shadows of the past.