Disclaimer: Loveless does not belong to me. I claim nothing.
Soubi had said he never went for children and it was true, he never did. Not exactly.
Sometimes, when Ritsuka was oblivious to even some of the simplest things, Soubi liked it best like that. Children were supposed to be oblivious. Soubi wanted Ritsuka to never realize some things. Even if he was looking forward to a few of those things, he was patient. He could possibly have years to spend with Ritsuka and years to enjoy adult things. But who knew how long before reality set in and took childhood away.
Children were supposed to be innocent. They were supposed to trust and believe in impossible things. And while Ritsuka had had most of his innocence destroyed, there was still some in him and Soubi was trying so desperately to preserve that. To preserve the child Ritsuka should have been. To not let his mother or Seimei or anybody to ruin the last bit of childish purity that still remained in his sacrifice.
He wanted to hear Ritsuka immaturely cry out at things that annoyed him. He wanted to see Ritsuka's eyes light up to things that made him happy and to see the smile only a child could possibly own. Adult smiles were so different. Adult smiles were usually fake and children's were so sincere.
It saddened Soubi to see Ritsuka act like an adult at times. Children are not supposed to be little adults. Ritsuka shouldn't be thinking about half the things he does and Soubi wishes desperately that he could stop it. That he could somehow make Ritsuka realize the precious thing he still owns. To realize it will soon be leaving him and he may miss it one day.
Children are supposed to love their parents more than life itself. When they think of protection, they think of their parents. That's how it's supposed to be and Soubi hates that Ritsuka doesn't have a parent to love him. Children shouldn't be hit. They should be cherished and Soubi does everything he can to show Ritsuka he is cherished. Soubi tries to give him the hugs that his mother should be giving him.
He hates that Ritsuka is left to bandage his own wounds. Children shouldn't have to do things like that and Soubi takes every chance he has to take care of Ritsuka. And he smiles when Ritsuka fusses that he wants to do it and there's that slight whine to his voice.
As they walk past a playground, children playing on the swings and screaming out at in delight as they play tag, he notices Ritsuka stopping to look at them. And Soubi smiles as he stops too and watches.
"Soubi, children play on playgrounds, right?"
"They're supposed to, anyway," He answers, wondering what Ritsuka could possibly be thinking about. Hoping it's something simple instead of complex.
"The real Ritsuka did, right? I don't remember playing on a playground. I never wanted to," Soubi wishes he could make Ritsuka stop thinking that way. And yet he wants to hear. Ritsuka is not open like children and Soubi treasures every thing he knows about him.
"Why is that?"
Ritsuka just looks at him. A simple look.
"Mom tried taking me there a lot. I wanted to play on the swings but the real Ritsuka didn't, I guess."
Soubi pieces everything together and a very quick flash of anger runs through his eyes before he quells it down. He instead makes his eyes softer and smiles at Ritsuka.
"Would you like to play on the swings now, then?"
The boy looks at him, frowning. "I'm too old for that!"
"Really? I think you're still the perfect age. If you'd like, I'll swing with you."
"You're weird, Soubi! Adults don't play on swings!"
"Really? Is that a rule?"
All Ritsuka does is glare and Soubi notices his ears twitch and he smiles. He wants Ritsuka to keep those ears while he can.
They continue to watch the children play on the playground and Soubi doesn't mind. Even with all their screaming, it's oddly calming. Knowing that there is such innocence in the world and Soubi hopes there always will be. He looks down at Ritsuka and notices that Ritsuka hasn't bothered to hide his yearning to play.
He looks to the sky and tries to figure out how much time they have before Ritsuka's mother will start to become angry. Wondering if he has any time at all and deciding he'll make time if he must.
"Ritsuka, what do you feel like eating?"
The boy looks at the older man almost suspiciously and Soubi is secretly saddened by it. He's made sure to keep it hidden so Ritsuka can't see. He continues to smile.
"Why?"
"I'll cook you something. Just tell me what you want."
"That might get me into trouble," Ritsuka says, looking at the playground again.
"Then tell your mom you're at Yayoi's. You have to work on a project."
Ritsuka frowns and stares angrily at him, "You're such a liar, Soubi. You lie too much."
"I am very sorry then, Ritsuka."
There are a few moments of silence before…
"I guess I can. I mean, I'll try…"
Soubi just smiles and so they begin their walk back to the place that Ritsuka is supposed to call home.
As Ritsuka eats, Soubi watches. Watches how Ritsuka just picks until he starts to eat with more zest and there's a smile on his face. He guesses Ritsuka really does like what he made him. He wonders if Ritsuka gets to eat it at all at his own home. But by the way Ritsuka seems so delighted, he guesses not. But it makes him happy to know that he put that face on Ritsuka.
"Good?"
He smiles more when Ritsuka eagerly nods. Ritsuka's acting how he should and Soubi only wishes he could remain that way forever. But he knows he can't. He knows that Ritsuka will have to return home, back to the real world and away from the one that he is making just for Ritsuka. The one that isn't real but should be real.
And when Ritsuka finishes eating, it's like a mask slips back on because Ritsuka doesn't have that carefree smile anymore. It isn't right, Soubi thinks. So he smiles.
"Come on, Ritsuka. We've got somewhere to go."
"But where-," He doesn't give Ritsuka a chance to speak before grabbing his hand and quickly taking him outside.
"Soubi! Where are we going? It's dark!" He's whining.
"Don't worry. I've got your hand."
The boy pulls it away roughly and even in the dark, Soubi can see the glare that is being directed at him. The smile doesn't leave his face. After all, it's nice to see Ritsuka acting his age. Acting the way he really should be acting.
"I can walk on my own! I don't need you to hold my hand!"
"But I want to hold your hand. Like you said, it's dark," Soubi says. He knows that Ritsuka doesn't really need his hand but he wants to hold it anyway.
Nothing is said but Ritsuka holds out his hand and Soubi continues to lead him. It is dark but he can see the slight blush that is staining the young boy's cheeks and he only wishes it could stay like that.
"Soubi! Why are we here?"
"I thought it'd be nice."
"I'm too old to play on the playground!"
There's no one there and Soubi knows with some enticing, Ritsuka will eventually be coaxed into playing on the swings. Like he wants to. But Ritsuka will only fight it right now. Which was perfectly fine.
"Nobody else is here. Nobody will see you," he reasons, but Ritsuka is still crossing his arms and glowering childishly. Stubborn.
But that really is how it should be. And he had expected for something like that to happen.
"I don't care if nobody is here! I don't want to swing!"
"I really would have thought otherwise."
One of his favorite things about Ritsuka is how he looks when he's annoyed. It's so evident when he is. With his ears twitching, his tail swishing slightly and just how he looks away with that small pout. It does nothing more but spur him on.
He walks towards a swing, "I guess I'll just have to swing then."
"What? No! Soubi! Stop being so weird!" His body language has completely changed.
"I'm very sorry for being weird then," He knows it's coming.
"Fine! I'll swing!"
There are no more words as Ritsuka takes a seat on the swing Soubi had been walking towards. No words even though Ritsuka looks at him strangely when Soubi begins to push him. But Soubi is fine with that. Fine because he knows Ritsuka is enjoying it. He's fine because he knows Ritsuka will be happy when he returns home. He just hopes nobody ruins it. Ruins the childish world Soubi has entrapped them both in.
And Ritsuka is content. And so is Soubi. Children are supposed to be happy and carefree and right now, that's what Ritsuka is. He's doing what he's supposed to be doing. It makes Soubi smile.
As they continue stealing fleeting time, he makes sure he remembers this forever. To make sure he remembers everything. Who knows if he'll ever have another moment like this one? Who knows if he'll get to keep Ritsuka?
He just continues to push him on the swing.
Notes: First Loveless story. I tried. Meh.