Plot outline: The Hogwarts community is dominated by a small group of seventh year boys dubbing themselves 'the Marauders'. With incredible cunning and wit, the boys manage to pull pranks on even the most proficient witch or wizard. Anyone who crosses them (student or teacher alike) is inevitably subjected to one of their often sinister pranks. One of these particularly nasty hoaxes, however, leads a feisty head girl to challenge the leader of the group and what initially started as a few innocent high jinks' turns into an unrestrained prank war, as a battle of the sexes ensues.
Rated: M in fanfiction ratings just to be on the safe side… because there will be sexual content later on… I don't know how graphic just yet. There will also be quite a lot of swearing in any case so yeah… you have been warned.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter in this story.
Info: This is a kind of alternate universe where James is not pursuing Lily incessantly (just girls in general). He does however find her very attractive and initially wants to use her for… umm other things. She however dislikes him to begin with as usual… their relationship becomes very interesting in this story…
Reviews: Are appreciated. How can I be sure if this story is worth pursuing if no one enjoys it or gives me any feedback at all?
Now onto the story…
The flickering quality of the candlelight illuminated the musty, cluttered office, as its sole occupant poured over a desk covered with several piles of parchment. The individual's severely wrinkled hands, with its conspicuous liver spots and varicose veins, grasped the thin, black quill as she scribed another unkind comment at the bottom of an essay. She gently lay down the quill, let out a yawn, and rubbed her tired grey eyes, which drooped in such a way that they resembled that of a bloodhound's. She then turned her awfully lined face to the coffee mug just inches away from her right hand and filled to the brim with warm liquid. Not being a coffee drinker herself, the beverage didn't appeal to her, but she felt it a necessity to complete the piles of N.E.W.T essays that lay sprawled on her desk. The fact of the matter was that she relished essay marking as it allowed her to get revenge on those 'little shits' that played up in her classes all those years and who hated her so. She smiled to herself as she took a small sip from the coffee mug.
Eager to finish the marking process, she slowly dragged the next essay to the small desk space in front of her. The quick scrawl next to the title ('Describe the measures muggles are utilizing to conserve energy and give reasons as to why this is so important') read James Potter. The old woman gave a slight smirk, remembering all those times this 'charming' young man had rebelled against her and got away with it. Without even glancing at the content of the essay, she pulled the roll of parchment through her bony fingers until she reached the bottom of the roll. She then wrote a large 'P' at the foot of the essay along with the statement 'this essay proves to me that you are completely incompetent Mr Potter. You will need to work harder to achieve a result that is of N.E.W.T standard, and I mean A LOT harder. Are you sure choosing muggle studies as an elective was a wise decision?'
She marveled at her gutsy and nasty comment as she took another sip from her mug and set aside James's essay. As she was about to pull another piece of marking towards her to accomplish, the office door suddenly creaked open in front of her. She looked up, staring apprehensively as if an unwanted visitor was about to enter. A moment passed and no one came. She checked the clock located on the old mantelpiece behind her, which read it was half past twelve in the morning. Her cobweb-covered face was still gazing suspiciously at the open door. She finally came to the conclusion that someone had not opened the door; it must have been a breeze, the door hinges were rather old after all. She slowly made her way to the entrance and closed it gradually, hoping to prevent anyone in the castle hearing the horrible sound it issued.
As she finally closed the door, she heard a gentle tinkling of glass on glass behind her and swiftly turned around, cracking her lower back in the process. Grunting with pain and frustration in seeing that no one was there she shuffled to her seat, while rubbing her back. There, she made a decision to complete the essays the next day, as she was just too tired. She picked up the mug and drained it three quarters of the way down. Then suddenly, before she could exit the office, she started coughing and spluttering uncontrollably. She then began patting her chest. She'd forgotten how horrible coffee tasted in big gulps. She needed water, but before she could get out of her seat her head started spinning and her vision became blurred. She began panicking as she was rapidly losing consciousness. Her legs trembled as she aimed to get up, but they could no longer support her fragile form. Her head then hit the desk, the force muffled by the copious amount of essays. She had fainted.The moment of her collapse enticed a young man to reveal himself leaning casually against the mantelpiece behind her. He took off the cloak causing his invisibility and tilted his head as he stared down at the unconscious figure in front of him. He cautiously walked towards her, and then gave her a sharp poke in the part of her back she had injured earlier. She did not move. Seemingly satisfied, the young man in his grey track pants and black, fitted t-shirt, opened the hack sack he had brought with him to reveal several small plastic sealed bags, all filled with a white, powdery substance.
He swung his sack over his shoulder, about to plant these bags around the room, when he glanced at the woman's feeble looking expression on her face. He then let out a sigh.
"Don't look like such a bitch when you're unconscious, do you?" The young man's deep voice sounded. "I almost feel like what I'm about to do is a bit too harsh."
Maybe this prank is a bit too cruel. Am I doing the right thing? He thought to himself, surprised he was starting to feel guilty about his intentions (a very rare occurrence).
His eyes then darted to a long roll of parchment containing writing he recognized as his own. He saw the big red P and the unfair comment written at the bottom.
Yep definitely doing the right thing, he concluded.
"That at least deserved an E, you old douche bag," James sneered nastily, stuffing a couple of bags in her desk drawers.
He then opened one of these bags and emptied a small amount of the chalky matter on the desk, right near her lined face. He then retrieved a cotton bud from his pocket, wiped it in the white powder and rubbed a bit of it on the inside of her right nostril. He proceeded to plant these bags around the room; in her suitcase, in more sets of drawers and even under the cushions of the frayed lounge in the corner of the room.
"Scourgify!" James Potter hissed, pointing his wand at the coffee mug. The contents he had tampered with vanished and he then put the mug in the emptied hack sack.
Smirking in a self-satisfied way, James Potter covered himself with the invisibility cloak again. He then made sure he did not leave any evidence behind. Everything had gone according to plan.
"I won't be seeing you," James whispered quietly, as he exited the office and closed the door.
He arrogantly strode the length of the outside corridor, spotting the silhouette of two relatively tall people and a third who was rather squat. They were all staring down at a large map shared between the three. They all looked up. The tallest of the three gave a smirk and folded his muscular arms into his chest. He had exceptionally handsome features, with black hair that fell elegantly over his eyes and nicely tanned skin. The second tallest had sandy brown hair and was rather pale, but was still attractive in his own right. The third was short, and slightly over weight with blonde hair and watery blue eyes. His face was riddled with anticipation as he heard James's approaching footsteps.
"Did you get the job done?" the dark handsome young man asked in a low voice, already knowing the answer to the question.
"Of course I got it done, what kind of question is that?" James asked arrogantly. "Everything went smoothly up your end, Sirius?"
"Yeah, no Filch or Mrs Norris came past," the young man named Sirius replied. "What about you?"
"Yeah… I thought this one was going to be an actual challenge," James said. "It was about easy as half the fucking girls at Hogwarts."
Sirius sniggered.
The brown haired boy then cut in. "What about my sleeping draught."
"She was out cold, Remus," James smiled. "Should last till morning."
"Nice," Sirius said appreciatively.
"Well, no point standing around here then is there?" Remus said, looking down at the 'marauders map' to see if anybody was approaching them through the dark corridors.
"I agree lets go," the squat member said nervously, looking over his shoulder.
"Chicken shit," James said under his breath. "Alright Peter we're going. We'll head back to the common room."
As the group of boys walked quite casually back to their sleeping quarters, Sirius gave James and Remus a smirk and said, "hopefully we'll have that old pussy's ass kicked out of the castle."
"I did the thing pretty well you know. And if our plan goes accordingly, which it always does, she should be outta here by tomorrow afternoon," James said haughtily. He then added as an afterthought, "you know what I think?"
"What?" Remus asked.
"I think we could get any teacher out of this castle," James replied confidently.
"Except for Dumbledore and Mcgonagall, and old Sluggy's alright for a Slytherin," Sirius murmured. "Gotta respect that shit."
There was a small pause within the group.
"Do you ever think we go too far with our pranks?" Remus asked offhandedly.
"Nope," James answered firmly. "We are the fucking kings of this castle and if anyone is stupid enough to cross us, they deserve all the shit we give them."
"Shouldn't we be using our cunning for good not evil," Remus smirked.
"Nah," Sirius said. "More fun this way. Plus we gain more respect. And I have to add that there is not one chick in this castle who wouldn't fuck us."
"I'm sure there is," Remus contradicted.
"Yeah well, we'll just prank those chick to show them who the bosses are around here," Sirius replied. "Fuck us or we'll fuck you up."
James snorted patting his best friend on the back. Remus scowled. That was one thing he detested about his two best friends: the disrespect they had for girls. Well they pretty much disrespected most people, but females were one of their main targets for their unfortunate contempt. However Remus did have to agree with James and Sirius on two accounts. Metaphorically speaking they were the kings of other students and were either feared or idolized, but mostly the latter. It was also true that girls did tend to disregard their own rights while around the marauders, in the hopes they'd be able to achieve even one night of 'affection' from one of the boys. However, he could think of at least one girl who did not find the marauder boys appealing, and she came in the form of a pretty and respectful red head named Lily Evans.
So that's the end of the prologue. Yes it is quite short and quite boring, but it's not an actual chapter…its purpose was to establish the characters and show you how far they go with their pranks. I generally write long chapters so don't worry… the story hasn't even begun yet. You'll probably notice the marauders are pretty disrespectful and cruel as well…but there is more character development to come, so don't worry. James will find his soft spot for Lily… lol
So read and review…if no one enjoys it I'll probably remove it and do some editing to improve it but yes give me your feedback…)