Transformers are the property of their owners. No copyright infringement is intended. I own this sorry story. Part Three only if there's a demand.

Part Two by popular demand. Operation Boom Pole is under way. Megatron, unbeknownst to his underlings, is online and he's not happy. What will he do when he finds out what they've been doing ever since his plans to harvest the Earth's energy and destroy the planet went awry?

Operation Boom Pole

The remaining Decepticons were encountering formidable obstacles in their attempts to test the fat girl's plan. No matter how they tried, the simple fact that they were robots that transformed into fairly large fighter jets, trains or other complex machinery did not facilitate any variation of the human reproductive act. That did not mean they had lost any enthusiasm for the project; on the contrary, they spent a great deal of time researching the vast amount of pornography available on the World Wide Web. But they met another obstacle.

"Rumble, Frenzy" ordered Skywarp

"Yeah?" they said in unison

"Starscream told me to tell you to go rob another 7-11. He needs cash to open an account on SexyGirls dot com"

Why doesn't he do it himself?"

"He's busy doing research!"

"Well, he's been doing it for the three days! "

"He's working. Get going!"

The two brothers left. They enjoyed holding up convenience stores. It reminded them of the good old days, when all they did was steal energy, fight with the Autobots and plan more fights with the Autobots.

Laserbeak came back and popped into Soundwave.

"Laserbeak brings news" Soundwave informed them.

"Get on with it" Thundercracker snapped. He'd been in a bad mood ever since he read what the humans had written about him.

It was a recording of the Autobot Perceptor rambling on and on about some invention of his that shrank things. Thundercracker's interest was fading fast until he heard him theorizing about shrinking an Autobot.

"That gives me an idea. I have to talk to Starscream".

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Starscream was in Dr, Arkeville's secret laboratory, his optics fixed to a computer screen. Several humans were moaning and they were all engaging in various forms of sexual activity. He never knew anything like this could even be considered even remotely pleasurable but for some reason Starscream felt compelled to lock Doctor Arkeville in a broom closet and watch alone.
Thundercracker attempted to contact Starscream through their comlink.

"What is it? I'm busy!" he shouted

"I have an idea! Let me in!"

"Oh, all right. But this better be good". With a great deal of effort, he disengaged from the screen.

Starscream listened with a scowl on his face.

"That's ridiculous! I'm not shrinking myself!"

"It doesn't have to be you".

"Who, then?"

"Skywarp".

"He'll never go for it".

"He doesn't have to know".

"Alright then. But first, we have to kidnap the Autobot nerd and bring him here. Get the Stunticons on it".

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Having succeeded in kidnapping Perceptor, Starscream explained his plan. Perceptor listened in amazement to what he proposed. What was going on? Had they all fallen apart when Megatron was destroyed, he wondered?

"I hope you realize, Starscream, what you're suggesting is simply physically impossible. Not to mention depraved".

"I didn't have you kidnapped to lecture me! I want it done!"

" I won't do it! It's ridiculous! Your logic boards must be fried!"

Starscream thought for a moment, then came up to him, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Listen, there might be something in it for you".

"I don't transform into an F-15, I transform into a telescope! What would I do with a boom pole?"

He told him.

"Whaat...". Perceptor was thinking.

"Let's ask Dr. Arkeville about this. He's a human. He should be able to tell us what the human males do".

"Why didn't I think of that? He's in the broom closet. Let's get him" Starscream said,

As they were walking to the closet, they passed by the computer Starscream had been using.

"What's that?" Perceptor asked, pointing at the screen. Two human females were demonstrating their affection for each other.

"Have a closer look" Starscream wickedly.

Perceptor stopped and was immediately mesmerized by the images. He transformed to get a better look.

Why, it's like a super, giant mind control ray, thought Starscream. I could use it to rule the world!

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Dr. Arkeville was stunned. What kind of mess did I get myself into? I thought all they wanted to do was to rule the universe and now they just want to sit around and talk about girls, He looked at all the magazines and tapes littering his once pristine secret laboratory. Being a human nerd, Dr. Arkeville had absolutely no experience with women, never having been with one. But he was very familiar with the materials in the laboratory. He began telling them what he knew (which was very little).

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"Hey Soundwave" Skywarp called out. "Lemme see your new boom pole"

"No".

"Come on".

Soundwave didn't respond.

"I'll show you mine" Skywarp said

"Soundwave superior, Skywarp inferior".

"My boom pole is bigger than yours" Skywarp said

"Skywarp inferior" Soundwave snickered.

"My boom pole is bigger than either one of yours" Thundercracker said, pulling his out. "I can refuel two F-15 jets, not just one".

"So what? I can refuel an F-16" Skywarp yelled at him.

"Soundwave can refuel a C-130 cargo plane".

Astrotrain comes in.

"Those aren't boom poles.This is a boom pole!'. The arguing stopped.

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While all this was going on, a very irritated Megatron was on his way back to his HQ.