The Quest For James Potter's Middle Name
Lily Evans was a patient girl. She really was. Only, sometimes, she just can't keep from going berserk. Usually, only one thing makes her go this crazy. And this THING had a name. Yes, evil does indeed have a name. And this is...
James Potter.
But, Lily didn't really care for him. No, she didn't. He annoyed her. All she wanted was to spend her sixth year in Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry normally. Maybe go out with some guys and basically have fun.
You see, James Potter was not included in ANY of these plans. Yet, he seemed to love inserting himself here, there, and basically EVERY PART of Lily Evans life. This simple was NOT right.
"Lily!" A girl yelled as she skipped over happily from the entrance hall over to the Griffindor table.
"What is it Torrance?" Lily asked, turning her head towards her bestfriend.
"You'll never guess what just happened?" Torrance squeeled, jumping up and down repeatedly.
"Did you mistake rat droppings for candy again? Are you high on cocaine? Did you hit you're head again? You're on something, right?" Lily asked, only half-jokingly. You could never put anything past Torrance. That girl was INSANE.
"Hey! You big meanie." Torrance pouted. She soon recovered though and started jumping again. Lily sighed.
"Ok, tell me already."
"I don't want to anymore. You were too mean." Torrance teased. She could be so immature sometimes. Wait, no, MOST of the time.
"Ok, I'm fine with that." Lily said with a shrug. She turned quickly to hide her smirk as she saw from the corner of her eyes her bestfriend looking extremely pouty.
"You don't really mean that, right?" Torrance asked, sounding sad.
Lily sighed again. "No Torrance, I didn't now just tell me already." She looked back at her friend in time to see her face light up.
Torrance beamed. "Well," She started.
"Torrance!" Lily laughed, pretending to be impatient. She was, in fact a patient person, right?
"SiriusBlackaskedmeout." Torrance said in one breath. Lily stared at her, not because she couldn't beleive her ears, but because she didn't hear it well.
"Uh, what?" Lily asked, looking confused.
"Sirius, Black, asked, me, out." Torrance said slowly, bouncing again. Her long dirty brown hair falling lightly in front of her eyes everytime she fell.
"WHAT?!" Lily screamed. This move earned her several bewildered stares from nearby people.
"SIRIUS BLACK ASKED-" Torrance began screaming back, but Lily clsped a hand over her mouth.
"Do you want every girl besides me that is above 4th year coming after you, screaming bloody murder?" Lily hissed.
Torrance shook her head.
"Good, now when I remove my hand don't yell that Sirius asked you out, OK?" Lily continued.
Torrance nodded slowly, fear in her eyes. She was staring intently at something over Lily's shoulder. Lily seemed not to have noticed this strange development in her friend.
Lily lowered her hand slowly. As soon Torrance's mouth was free though, she screamed again, but not about Sirius Black. No, it was much worse.
"Hey Lily." Someone whispered in her ear as they grabbed her from behind, wrapping their arm around her waist.
Lily screamed and turned around. Oh no.
As you might have guessed dear reader, it was James Potter who grabbed Lily Evans.
"Potter!" Lily yelled, raising her hand to slap him.
"The one and only my dear." James smirked as he caught her hand mid-way to his face. He put it to his lips and kissed it softly.
"EWW!!" Lily yelled, yanking her hand away.
"Oh Lily, you're fiery temper and charm just turn me on." James laughed. It scared Lily, how he could always laugh about things. The weirdo.
"Potter, you're weird." Lily said slowly, whipping her hand with a sanitized tissue paper.
"Thank you, I try." James grinned.
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I know."
"Whatever, go away before I set my owl on you." Lily threatened. Unfortunately for her, owls are not scary.
"Lily, I'm not afraid of owls."
"Shame."
"Peter is though!" James' face brightened at the thought of chasing the boy down the corridor with hundreds of owls at his command.
"I'm scarred to ask what's on you're mind. So I won't."
"Good idea my little munchkin."
"I'm not short, that's Snape."
"Snivellus isn't THAT short," Black joined in. Torrance, behind Lily, perked up on hearing his deep, angelic voice.
"Oh?" Torrance asked, excited to join the conversation now that Sirius was here.
"We're all just really tall." Sirius grinned.
"Oh Black, you are sooo funny. You slay me. Really, you do." Lily said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Evans! Your compliments are the very things I live for." Sirius replied. Torrance looked a little put- out after this, but made up for it by pouring honey over everything withing her reach. The sugary goodness made her happy.
At that moment, James, seeing all the honey, pounced on the table and becgan shoving food onto his plate.
"James, you animal!" Lily yelled, appalled.
"Evans, dear, how did you know?" is what James meant to say. Unfortunately, all the food in his mouth caused it to sound like; "eppanmnmnsssearowiduuuuuuuuno?"
Which, in turn, caused Lily to go; "WHAT?!"
James swalled a huge mouthful then proceeded.
"How did you know dearie?" He asked. Marauders could be so strange.
Speaking of the bizzareness of our favorite boys, here comes Peter!
"Hi guys." He says, casually sitting down.
"PETER!! WHERE IS MY CAPPUCHIN MONKEY?!?!" Sirius yelled, pouncing on the boy.
"You're WHAT?!" Peter asked, trying to save himself.
"MY MONKEYS MAN! ARE YOU DAFT?!" Sirius bellowed. The Great Hall was filled with the screams of students as Sirius yelled something unintelligable and the house elves burst through the wall.
"Sirius Black sir, what do you want?" A particularly small one asked, hin spatula halfway up his nose.
"Number 1, get that spatula out of your nose and into Snivellus'. Two, WHERE IS NIGEL?!" Sirius yelled, his eyes filled with a maniacal light.
"Nigel, sir?" Another house elf asked, his knees wobbling horribly as a homicidal Sirius Blaxk turned on the poor thing. In the background, Lily, James, Torrance and Peter sat in silence, completely weirded out.
"MY MONKEY!" Sirius yelled.
"I think he's in the astronomy tower, sir, eating parchment and telescopes." The elf squeeked.
"THAT'S A GOOD MONKEY!" Sirius yelled, puching the air. He ran halfway across the hall, turned heel, ran all the way back to the Griffindor table, kissed Torrance on the cheek then ran away. Leaving her sitting happily, confused, but happily.
A few seconds passed in silence.
"Now Lily, why can't WE do that?" James whined.
Lily shot him a strained look. "Because Potter, you disgust me."
"WHY?!" James asked loudly, a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"I don't have time for this." Lily sighed.
Lily turned on her heel and marched out of the hall, and into an empty classroom to let off some steam.
Much to her dismay, someone was already in there. And it wasn't someone she wanted to see.