All characters named in this story were created by Janet Evanovich, except the rookie cops and the teen gang members and Jacob Stanton (the House Monster), and Patti Basatti (County Clerk), created by AutumnDreaming for this story.

All of Morelli's cop experiences in this story have been creatively adapted from the experiences of Ralph L. Dettweiler, former Sergeant of South Carolina Sheriff's Department, found at

Additional inspiration was gleaned from Charles Martin's novel Chasing Fireflies.

Morelli's POV

EPILOGUE

What I remember most about that evening, aside from the Frederick's of Hollywood box from Lula, and Connie, was Stephanie returning a certain electronic key fob to Ranger. He only got a peck on the cheek this time, and he gave her that look that said he was proud of her. Ranger gave her a DVD. We didn't dare to watch it till everyone left. It was a surveillance tape. We had to turn the volume all the way up. Then I realized what it was. At first, I thought he set me up, but then I realized he was proving my innocence. It was RangeMan footage of the time Terry Gilman and I were supposed to be working a federal case together, and she took the opportunity to make a move on me - in a tiny little negligee. I was clearly heard telling her 'no' and explaining that I loved Stephanie. Terry started throwing things and screaming and I had to dive out the motel window. Neighbors didn't hear the discussion, but they heard the yelling and saw me diving out the window and Terry barely dressed. Then the gossip mill went to work, and the story got around to Stephanie while we were sitting at her parents' table over dinner. She never believed me that it was work related. I just figured the less said the better. But, now, thanks to Ranger, I had proof, I had trust, and I was vindicated at last!

Later that night, Stephanie and I opened gifts for about an hour.

Mrs. Plum bought us an assortment of pots and pans, cake plates, and a huge Betty Crocker cookbook. We were only short the one that was somewhere beneath the boat. We'd probably find it later.

Grandma Mazur and Carl gave us the two stuffed dogs, one for each car. I shudder to think about that one.

Frank bought us a black leather recliner and a large flat screen television with built in DVD and universal remote. He got a great deal from Bernie, who tossed in the surround sound as his part. I explained that we already had a recliner, but apparently the other recliner was for Frank, as was the television, I suspected. At least he would feel at home when they came to visit.

Joyce hadn't really given us a present, but she had been passing around flyers of Stephanie and me naked in a kiddie pool when we were too young for it to count. Everyone thought it was cute. I had never seen this picture before. I stuck one in a wedding frame someone gave us and sent Joyce a thank you note. I'm sure that made her day.

Valerie and Albert gave us their baby crib and a garbage bag full of baby girl clothes. I guess there was no convincing them we weren't expecting. We put them in storage…just in case.

Mary Lou bought us a very useful gift – an indestructible tube for keeping our marriage certificate. It's fireproof, waterproof, and best of all, it floats.

Kenny and Buckey got us a gift certificate to Marsillio's and Richie gave us $100 worth of free pizza coupons from Pino's, which came in handy for the Honeymoon, which we spent in our new home.

Mr. Kleinschmidt, Dillon, and the gang from Stephanie's apartment building pitched in and bought us two portable GPS units with one year's paid subscription. Stephanie thought it was greatat first, but it turns out it's not so great if you're driving on the water. All you get is: "This is not a known street. Please return to the main road." The first few times she drove off into the river, she had a hard time finding her way home. Once she ran out of gas and she ended up out of state before she washed ashore. But I found her. I had her on satellite.

Brian Simon's wife felt so bad for being mad at me for making her think Brian had been running around on her that when she thought I was dead, she had an attack of guilt because she had actually wished me dead. She felt so guilty, in fact,that Brian finally 'fessed up to the reason why I had done it. When she found out about Bob being pawned off on me, she was furious. Brian let her believe the dog ran away. She'd been worried sick about Bob for years. To make up for it all, knowing how much of my household Bob had probably eaten, she gave us a gift certificate for six month's of Doggie Daycare. That was great, because I wasn't sure how I was going to keep Bob from sinking the ship. He might chew a hole right through the hull.

Costanza, Big Dog and Gazarra didn't have time to go shopping, so they promised to get even as soon as possible, so I was watching my back on that one. There was no telling with that bunch. In the end, they paid my cost on the security system Ranger and I installed on the houseboat.

Mooner and Dougie gave Stephanie a grocery sack and whispered something about it being for later. I hoped it wasn't dope, but it turned out to be a Wonder Woman suit they made out of long underwear or something. Stephanie thought it was wonderful. It looked dreadful, and I wished she would quit wearing it under her clothes. I just knew that someday she was going to become delusional,rip off her clothes and go running down the street after a bad guy in her underwear.

My mom did give us the Morelli familysilver, but we never took it out of the box, and we never polished it. When she found out that we'd let ittarnish, she took it back and bought us a nice place setting for eightfrom Wal-Mart. That suited us just fine.

Grandma Bella never took the pin back, and Stephanie treasures it, keeping it in a lock box at the bank.

Dave and Scooter gave us a big piece of black marble with Morelli House engraved on it for the front yard of Aunt Rose's house. Now the name Morelli, carved two feet highin stone and proudly visible from the street, has become a Burg landmark, and it makes us all proud.

And, you know, if I'd had my way...I mean, seriously...if I'd insisted on having my way, everything would have been different. I'd probably be living in Aunt Rose's house with a very unhappy woman instead of jetting around with Wonder Woman. I'd probably be cheating on her, just like I said I never would, and Ranger would probabably still be poaching. And Lino, Lucas and Joe would all be victims of a very broken judicial system instead of three of the leading art students in New Jersey.

Thanks to Stephanie Morelli, I learned how to live. I learned how to love. And I finally learned how to trust...and now...well.

Maybe Morelli isn't such a bad name after all…

THE END