Warning: Language and adult themes in future chapters. Characters aren't mine, and neither are the songs I use at the end of some of the chapters. Song at the end of this chapter is "Paper Walls" by Yellowcard.
Nick/Greg slash
Spoilers for a few episodes, especially those in which Nick or Greg were put through something stressful.
Greg couldn't comprehend how quick the tables had turned since the night began. He had just been minding his own business processing some samples when Nick walked into his lab and asked him to go to lunch. Greg had of course accepted the invitation happily, excited that Nick had asked him to go along. He had butterflies in his stomach as he thought about being able to spend time outside of work with the man he had secretly had a crush on for the last two and a half years. Greg had actually been quite worried that Nick would stay away from him after what had happened with the articles and the Nigel Crane case. The lab rat couldn't have been more wrong.
Greg's butterflies had increased when he learned that it would be only him and Nick at the diner for lunch. Nick mumbled some lame excuse that Catherine had to pick up Lindsey, Warrick was on a case with Grissom and Sara had the day off. Greg didn't care where everyone else was though. He only cared that he was at lunch, with Nick, and it was just the two of them. They had easily fallen into mindless banter about their usual topic of video games and only stopped arguing about who was better at Madden to take bites of their meals. The pair had gone somewhat quiet when they had gotten their coffee after the meal, both grateful for caffeine to wake themselves up. Greg had been looking at Nick's faint scar above his right eye when the Texan set his cup down and took a deep breath, catching Greg's attention.
Everything after that point where they locked eyes and Nick told him something along the lines of he was in love with him and had been for over a year now was lost to Greg. He couldn't remember Nick's exact words at this point in time because now he was laying on Nick's bed, pressed up against the mattres by the shirtless Nick above him. Greg's breath had immediatly been taken away when Nick had crushed their lips together, but the blonde tipped brunette ignored the burning of his lungs and kissed Nick back as hard as he could. It wasn't until he felt Nick's hands on his abs that he realized he too was shirtless. He ran his hands over the toned muscles on Nick's back, pulling the older man closer.
Then when he felt Nick's hands move to line where his skin ended and boxers began, Greg tensed. He knew Nick noticed too because he moved his hand away. Greg was contemplating pushing Nick away for a second, but didn't think he would be able to do it. For over two years he had been imaging what this would be like, and now that it was happening, he wasn't about to ruin it. So he tried to relax and arched up for more contact with the warm body above his.
But Greg hadn't had to stop moments earlier because Nick did. He sensed that something was wrong and wasn't completely comfortable himself. It had nothing to do with the fact that it was Greg, or the fact that it was another man. He was just scared of what this actually was and didn't want to end up with either of them getting hurt. So he pulled away from Greg slowly, gently pushing against the younger man's chest. He shifted so he was laying beside Greg, their legs still tangled together.
"I'm sorry." Nick breathed.
Greg shook his head. "For what?"
"I didn't mean to do that. I had planned on telling you how I felt, but I hadn't exactly planned on this happening. I just don't wanna mess up what this is or what I meant. I mean, what is this for you?" Nick asked, afraid of the answer.
Greg tensed again. "Can I be completely honest with you?" Nick nodded, so Greg continued. "I've been in love with you basically since the day I met you. I've dreamt about being with you like this for so long. But I don't want this to be it. I want more."
Nick stayed quiet, knowing that there was more Greg wanted to say. Nick's silence was his way of telling Greg to go on.
"When I was in high school and college, everyone I ever had a relationship with used me. For money, rides places, school work, regular work...and even sex. I never did anything about it because I was an only child and didn't know any better. I was just happy for the human contact I guess. But now I know that's not how it's supposed to be and realized how much pain that caused me. I'm not saying that's what you're trying to do to me. I'm sorry, but it's just hard for me to trust people this much I guess."
Nick slowly slid his hand into Greg's. "I understand that. Don't be sorry, it's my fault. I know that I moved way too fast, but I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help it. The whole stalker thing made me wake up and get the courage to tell you how I really feel. I didn't mean to put you on the spot or make you do anything you didn't want to."
"I know, I believe you." Greg squeezed Nick's hand gently. "I just don't know if I'm ready. I haven't been in a real relationship since college. I've never been with anyone who hasn't hurt me. I don't think I'm ready to risk it again."
Greg was going to apologize for leading Nick on, but he was cut off by the other man. "It's okay Greg. I don't blame you. I don't want to put any pressure or anything on you, so here's my idea." He rubbed the top of Greg's hand slowly with his thumb. "We can forget this ever happened and go back to how it was. Or we can remember this night forever, and you can do what you want. If you want to try a relationship someday, I'm ready when you are. If you don't, I'm fine with just being friends with you like before."
"I want a relationship with you, I just don't know how long it's going to take me to be ready for it."
Nick smiled. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't care if it takes two weeks, two months, or two years. However long it takes is how long it takes. Don't rush it or feel obliged to be ready. If you ever need me for anything, I'm here whenever you need me. Okay?"
Greg smiled as well. "Okay." He said. "But I should be the one saying that to you. You're the one who just went through..." He trailed off, not wanting to bring up bad memories for Nick.
But the Texan just smiled wider. "Don't worry about me, I'm okay now. I'm not gonna let that bother me."
"That's good." Greg said. "But are you sure you're okay with this? Because I'd understand if you wanted more right now that I can't give you because-"
Greg was again cut off, but this time by Nick lightly brushing their lips together, immediatly silencing Greg. "I don't care about any of that. I care about you."
"Really?" Greg asked, unable to understand how anyone could actually love him and not just want to use him like everyone else has.
Nick nodded. "Really. What happened to you before is so messed up. Everyone that ever hurt you had no idea what they had when they had you. They obviously had no idea how amazing you are and never cared about anyone but themselves. I don't want what they wanted. I want you."
Greg smiled again as he inched closer to Nick and kissed the older man. Nick shifted so he was on top of Greg again, but this kiss was different. It wasn't frantic and lustful like the previous one had been. No, this one was slower and deeper because neither of them cared about anything else. Greg couldn't remember anyone kissing him like Nick was now. The older man was holding him close, letting him know how much he truly did care without having to say anything at all.
After an extended period of time, Nick was able to carefully pull off Greg's jeans without even causing the other man to flinch. He pulled the covers over Greg and slipped out of the bed to let Greg sleep, but the younger man wouldn't let go of Nick's hand.
"You said if I ever needed you for anything, you'd be here, right?" Greg asked.
"Of course." Nick said.
Greg pulled Nick back into the bed and cuddled up against him. "Well, I want you here so much I need you to be here."
Nick smiled as he wrapped his arms around Greg tightly. Greg rested his head on Nick's chest and draped his arm across Nick's stomach. It wasn't long before they had both drifted off to sleep, their hearts feeling as light as air. For the first time since the stalker incident, Nick was able to sleep without nightmares. He fell asleep easily because he wasn't scared at all of anything. Greg fell asleep faster than he ever had before because he was engulfed in the warmth of Nick's body right up against his. It was different for both of them, but it was a good different.
Nick had been watching Greg sleep for the last half hour. At first it felt weird because he knew Nigel Crane had done the same thing to him, but then he realized that that was completely different and pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He smiled at how happy and peaceful Greg looked as he slept there. Nick didn't want to wake him up, so he just layed there quietly next to him and enjoyed being there.
Some time later, Greg stirred and awoke a few minutes later. He opened his eyes and frowned at the feel of someone laying next to him. He sat up with a jerk, his heart racing for an unkown reason. He immediatly calmed down when he saw Nick, who looked rather worried at Greg's reaction to waking up next to him.
"I'm sorry." Greg apologized. "I'm just not used to waking up next to someone. I've always woken up alone."
Nick lightly brushed his hand through Greg's soft hair. "You're never gonna have to wake up alone again."
Greg smiled as he settled back in bed against Nick. Nick wrapped his arms around Greg again and sighed happily at the feel of the younger man's body back against his. They layed together in silence for a little while before Greg spoke up, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.
"Did you date a lot of people in high school and college?" He asked.
Nick shook his head. "No, I really didn't. Most of the girls thought I was a jerk because I played football, basketball and baseball and a lot of them knew my older brother, which didn't help too much. And I guess I never really liked anyone enough to date them I guess." He paused for a second before saying, "Wow, that sounds awful."
Greg laughed. "No it doesn't. It's better than if you were a player and dated a million people. Plus, it makes me feel special that you want to date me and haven't wanted to date anyone else before."
"You should. I like you so much I had to get pushed out of a window to get enough balls to tell you how I felt. That's sayin' something."
"I bet." Greg said, still smiling. "Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy?"
Nick scoffed jokingly. "I've barely been in a relationship at all. Most of the guys I knew in high school and college were jackasses. I didn't even wanna be friends with them, let alone date them. I'm sorry to tell ya, but I'm basically a relationship virgin. But ironically enough, not an actual virgin..."
"Oh, so you were a player?" Greg teased.
"No, not exactly." Nick said. "I'm not proud of it. I went to a lot of parties because I was in a frat house and I can't honestly say I remember half of them."
Greg was somewhat shocked. "Come on. You're trying to tell me that Nick Stokes, perfect Texan gentlemen, got drunk out of his mind and had one night stands?"
Nick nodded. "Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you." He said. "Probably not the best thing to tell you to get you to trust me, but at least I didn't lie."
Greg sighed. "It's not that I don't want to trust you. Just so much has happened to me that it's hard to, no matter how much I want to."
"And that's okay." Nick said. "I'll do whatever I have to to gain your trust. I don't care how long it takes." He kissed Greg's forehead gently. "I'm up for the challenge."
Here I stand, won't turn back again
Won't leave you, know how hard it's been
Hear me now, you will never be alone