Alright, I have Link's responses.
But Numbers 1-7, 10-12, 14-22, 24-27, 29, and 31-36 are not mine at all. One of my reviewers, Teros, suggested these him/herself. The only ones I did are 8,9, 13, 23, 28, 30, and 37.
So enjoy, and Thanks to Teros for voluntarily helping me!
Link's Responses
37 New Messages
Link: Damn… Well, may as well see who's called me…
(beep)
1. Hi, Link, it's Zelda. Ganondorf kidnapped me again. Can you please save me?
Link: Go save yourself. Also, try getting some guards that don't suck.
(beep)
2. Link, this is Ganondorf! I've got your girlfriend! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Link: One, she's not my girlfriend and two, you can keep her for all I care.
(beep)
3. Yo, this is Dark Link! I want my porn back, dude!
Link: Dude, I gave it back three days ago.
(beep)
4. Vaati, here. You took my sandwich at the Picori Festival! I WILL AVENGE MY SANDWICH!
Link: Well maybe if you would hold onto the damn sandwich you wouldn't lose it.
(beep)
5. Linkie! It's me, Ilia! Can you help me tie my shoe please?
Link: Tie it yourself.
(beep)
6. Hey, it's Malo. I need my money, man.
Link: Get your own damn money, ya moocher!
(beep)
7. Hi Link. It's Midna. Are we still on for Saturday night?
Link: Yeah, I'll call if something comes up but we should still be on.
(beep)
8. This is Malon from Lon Lon Ranch. You're shipment of muffin mix and Lon Lon Milk came in.
(Message has been deleted for being eight years old.)
(beep)
9. HEY, THIS IS TALIM! I SLEPT WITH KILIK, XIANGHUA! MUHAHAHAHA! …Oops… wrong number…
(Message has been deleted for stupidity.)
(beep)
10. Ganon again. I also forgot to ask if you have any jumper cables. My car broke down again…
Link: Yeah, okay, I'll bring them over. You should really get that car serviced.
(beep)
11. Dark Link again. Where the hell is my damn porn?!
Link: Its next to your bed, I gave it back three days ago.
(beep)
12. Hey, it's Saria, Link. What was that red bump on your neck yesterday?
Link: Some kid shot me with a slingshot.
(beep)
13. Vaati here. I WANT MY DAMN SANDWICH!
(Message has been deleted for annoyance.)
(beep)
14. It's Pit. Did you take my bow and arrow again, Link?
Link: Did you forget, you asked me to go get it restrung today.
(beep)
15. Hey, Peach here! Could you please tell Zelda to give me my parasol back?
Link: She's a bit kidnapped at the moment, but okay.
(beep)
16. Zelda again. Tell Peach that she's not getting her parasol back until she gives back my dress!
Link: Why don't you go sort it out yourself.
(beep)
17. Malo again. Dude, where's my money?
Link: Malo, man, you ain't no pimp, dude.
(beep)
18. Pit here. IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU MASTURBATED WITH MY BOW AGAIN, I'LL SHOOT YOUR (bleep)ING HEAD OFF! YOU HEAR ME? (slam)
Link: It never happened the first time. Also, you couldn't shoot my head off because your bow skills suck.
(beep)
19. Midna here. Zant's gone crazy again. He turned me back into an imp…
Link: That B----D! I'LL FECKING KILL HIM!
(beep)
20. Zelda here. Just killed Ganon. I'm fine. Come to my house later so we can have some pizza and watch Dancing with the Stars.
Link: Sorry, I'm kind of busy today. Look, I'll make it up to you this Tuesday.
(beep)
21. Pit again. I found my bow and arrow. It was in Falco's room. Although, I'd like to know what this white creamy substance this is on it…
Link: Oh yea, I had your bow cleaned when I got it restrung. It must be a little excess from the cleaning stuff.
(beep)
22. Beth here. Ilia broke into your house and stole your boxers again…
Link: Thanks for the heads up.
(beep)
23. This is Dr. Smile's office. We're calling to confirm your root canal appointment for the 22nd.
(Message deleted for pain factor.)
(beep)
24. I accidentally killed Zelda with my parasol! What do I do?!
Link: Bury the remains.
(beep)
25. This is Veran! Could you kindly tell my sister, Midna, to please GIVE ME MY CROTCH-LESS THONG BACK!
Link: Ask her yourself.
(beep)
26. It's Zant! You got my Ipod! Give it back!
Link: I never took it. Also, could you turn Midna back?
(beep)
27. Mr. Link Galestorm, according to our records, you owe Bank of Hyrule 20,374 rupees.
Link: Someone's stolen my identity.
(beep)
28. Screw you, I'll just have Ralph make me another sandwich…
(Message deleted for annoyance.)
(beep)
29. Veran again. Tell Midna I also need my cupless bra! Oh, and tell Vaati that I ate his sandwich.
Link: Ask her yourself.
(beep)
30. This is Fierce Deity Link! Dude, I need my Double Helix Sword back so I can kick Majora's ass!
(Message deleted for being seven years old.)
(beep)
31. Yo, Mario! I've got Peach! Bwahahahaha! Oh wait, this is Link's phone. 'Sup, Link?!
Link: You really need to start thinking up some new plans.
(beep)
32. Hey, Elf Dude, it's Nightmare. Raphael stole Soul Edge from me… again. Can you help?
Link: How do you keep losing Soul Edge to that Limey Pansy?
(beep)
33. It's Malo! Where's that rupee you owe me? Time to pay up!
Link: Just cut some grass, there's plenty of cash there.
(beep)
34. Hi, Link. It's Farore. Do you have any beer left? Nayru drunk all the Heineken and Din stole my Arbor Mist!
Link: All I've got is rolling rock. Is that okay?
(beep)
35. Link, it's Midnight. Did you see Grey's Anatomy last night?
Link: Missed that episode.
(beep)
36. Midna again. Zant turned me into a poodle. PLEASE HELP!
Link: Yeah, busy trying to find my sword, that nancy boy Marth probably took it.
(beep)
37. Ooo! Ooo! Ook! Got any food, dude?
(Message deleted for stupidity.)
(beep)
End of Messages
Link: I don't get paid enough for this…
--
Hope you like!