Heart So Heavy

By: Simplistic (Infinitesimal)

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"Its fucking freezing," Lily brings her hands to her mouth; her long, thin legs arched, curled beneath her. She blows noisily on her fingertips and curses once more under her breath. "What wouldn't I give for a cigarette."

You cast her a side long look from where you are crouched beside her.

"You shouldn't smoke." You shuffle a bit, pressing the side of your body against hers.

She makes a noise of derision.

"Yeah-- it'll kill me, right?"

Crouched in the dense, murky foliage, just hours away from part two of your 'thrice defied him', the irony of lung cancer manages to bring something like a smile to your tight, frost bitten face.

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You find her on the bathroom floor, in a pool of red. She chokes out a few words and looks up at you-- god, you've never seen her eyes so huge. And somehow it takes you a moment to comprehend the liquid pouring out of her mouth as blood.

"Shit. Shit, Lily-"

"I can't- I can't it's-" She gags and a fresh wave bursts from her throat, pulsing down her front and into her lap. She starts to cry.

You scramble around for a towel, but the tiny, cramped cabinets are empty and fuck- blood is everywhere, you're slipping in it as you dash out the door. You're a complete blank as you rummage in the linen for something clean, christ, anything. It's your body that reacts first, always- you're shaking too badly to grasp the handle, each step leaden and vibrating as you pound back up the stairs.

When you step into the bathroom again she is gagging, kneeling over the side of the tub. The thick, gelatinous liquid covers the floor and flows through each crack in the tile, hundreds of little life streams. You think instantly that it will never come up-- no spell can erase human life. Then she makes a rattling sound and slumps forward, folding into herself.

You jerk forward, fall to your knees, take her by the waist. You pull her into a sitting position with your violently shaking fingers.

"HELP," you scream, remembering for the first time that you are not alone, and your heart has never felt so heavy inside your useless chest. "FUCKING HELP!"

She is limp in your arms as you bring her head forward– somehow, it is all you can think to do.

It doesn't hit you until later, after they've figured out she's been poisoned, after she's settled into one of the narrow, moldy cots set up in the basement-- a temporary sick ward. Not until they assure you she will live do you begin to cry.

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And you're not the bravest or the smartest one out there, out there fighting; you don't know everything and you don't pretend to. But you do know that there are some things worth dying for. You know you'd die for her in a second, if that meant seeing her smile again.

"God, it hurts, James."

"Shh, darling. Close your eyes. I'll take the pain away."

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Author's Note: EDITED. Yes-- it's short, vague, and random. No-- I'm not changing it. Hehe.