A/N: This spring I caught pneumonia, and despite a lot of past experience with bronchitis and sinus infections, it was still about the nastiest, most aggravating thing I've ever had. It's sheer spitefulness that made me take it out on somebody else. In the chaos that was this summer, I tried an experiment of writing a hundred words for a hundred days to keep my hand in. This little piece suited that goal well because it could be put together in small pieces, without a lot of concentration. Despite the subject matter, it's more silly than serious, more lighthearted than angsty, more good fun than anything else, and should post over a short period. No, really - I mean it this time. It's dedicated to all those people who, like me and Don, are just darned sure they can take care of things on their own. Even when they can't.

Crackles

A Sucker Bet

"Name?"

"Eppes. Don."

"Do you have your insurance card, Mr. Eppes?"

"Yeah…" Don dug his insurance card out of his wallet and pushed it through the small window. A form was pushed back in his direction.

"Can you fill that out for me, please? And that will be twenty dollars for your co-pay."

Don obediently filled out the personal information and signed his name over the liability waiver, returning it with a crumpled twenty dollar bill on top.

"Thank you, Mr. Eppes. And what seems to be the problem this evening?"

"Um - " Don felt the color rise in his cheeks. "A - cough. Came on kind of fast." He stammered a little. "It's - probably nothing." I lost a bet, he finished silently. It seemed ridiculous to be standing here in Urgent Care for anything less than a gunshot wound.

"You can have a seat over there, Mr. Eppes. We take you on a first come, first served basis, but in the event of an emergency, you may have to wait longer." He nodded dully. "You can hang your coat up over there, if you like."

Don hunkered deeper into his jacket. They were going to have to crank up the heat in here if they wanted him to part with his jacket. He found a seat in the battered row of chairs between a large woman in a fleece coat and a young woman jiggling a baby, and prepared to wait.

He shouldn't be here at all. Talk about a waste of time. Taking up precious time that should be spent on real sick people. He crossed his arms over his chest and rubbed his biceps to dispel the chill. His own fault - it had been a sucker bet, and he had fallen for it. Just went to show that he was a little off his game.

"Eppes?"

He looked up in surprise to see a nurse standing in the doorway, eyes scanning the room. He stumbled to his feet.

Faster than he expected. Of course, that's what they did - shuffled you off to the examination room to wait, where there weren't even any magazines to keep you company.

He followed the nurse down a sterile corridor and into a small examination room.

"Take off your jacket and get up on the table," she instructed briskly.

Reluctantly, he put his jacket aside and boosted himself onto the table.

"So, what seems to be the problem today, Mr. Eppes?"

Didn't he just tell somebody that? Didn't these people ever talk to each other?

"Just a cough. Probably nothing." And if I'd thought faster, I wouldn't be here right now, wasting your time.

"Uh-huh." The nurse stuck a thermometer under his tongue and pressed her fingers against his pulse. When the thermometer beeped, she made no comment but scrawled something on a form and pushed up his sleeve to make room for a blood pressure cuff. "Do you smoke, Mr. Eppes?" He shook his head. "Chewing tobacco?"

He shook his head again. "Promised my mom I never would. It was pretty popular among ball players - I chewed gum instead." Yeah, babble on Eppes - maybe you do need a doctor.

She checked the blood pressure gauge and made a few more notes. "And when did your cough start?"

He closed his eyes, trying to remember. There might have been a tickle a week ago, then overnight it had seemed to go from nothing to…well…something. "Couple days, I guess. It was bad yesterday. Sounded - I don't know - funny. Actually seems better today - probably on the mend."

"Mm hm." The nurse fingered his tee shirt. "The doctor can listen to your chest through that, so I won't make you change. Someone should be with you soon, but in the event of something more urgent, we do use triage procedures, so you may have to wait."

Don nodded and watched the door close behind her. As soon as it did, he hopped off the table and retrieved his jacket, wrapping it around himself. He didn't mind waiting, but he sure wasn't going to freeze while he did. He swung his legs restlessly as the minutes ticked by, noticed there was a pillow on the examining table. Actually looked kind of comfortable.

He stretched out on the table, coughed, and rolled onto his side. He had already figured out that helped slow down the coughing. They could wake him up when they were ready for him. And then they could just send him on his way.

Don snapped up abruptly at the sound of the door opening. A glance at the clock showed him that he'd been asleep for over an hour. He rubbed a hand over his hair, trying to look alert, as a Latino man in a white coat entered. His name tag read "Rodriguez".

"Mr. Eppes," he said pleasantly. "What seems to be the problem this evening?"

Don stared at him. Come on, somebody must have told somebody something? Shared information? "Cough," he said after a pause. "Probably nothing, I just - " Well, it was too embarrassing to explain.

Dr. Rodriguez saved him the trouble by pulling out a speculum and sticking it in his ear, then his nose. "Open?"

Don obediently opened his mouth and let him shine the small light down his throat. The doctor reached for his stethoscope and placed it over his right chest.

"Take a deep breath and let it out."

Don took a deep breath and coughed.

The doctor moved the stethoscope to his back. "Again?"

Don tried again, had to pause to cough. He felt a little embarrassed, but the doctor made no comment, just shifted the stethoscope.

"Again?"

Don tried again, waited as the doctor tapped on his back, then went over to the counter and scrawled something on a form. Prescription, probably. He drew a relieved breath that turned into another cough.

The doctor handed him the paper. "Take that down the hall to x-ray. Give them the small form, return here with the large form when they're done."

Don stared at the form, sure he'd heard wrong. "Huh?" he said blankly.

"You need a chest x-ray," the doctor repeated. "You have crackles in your lungs."

TBC