Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author's Notes: Here, I release my guilty pleasures of writing SasuNaru. Warnings for profanities, implicit sex, and slash.
this and that →
i'll do this, and i'll do that;
i'll be burning canyons for you.
- this and that © michael penn
They don't fuck on weekends, because Sakura always stops by on a Saturday or a Sunday, and she has the spare key to their apartment – obviously, it's going to be pretty awkward if she catches them in the act. She brings food and tidies up Naruto's side of the house, because Sasuke refuses to clean up the junk (which mostly consists of empty instant ramen cups) and Naruto has never cared about hygiene. It's a wonder how two people so different got together in the first place.
No one really knows how to define their relationship because they've never actually announced it – things just happened, as they always do with the two unpredictable boys.
Kakashi-sensei probably knows the truth, because he knows everything. But he doesn't say, as usual, so no one else is aware.
Sakura, on the other hand, had been suspicious for a while – there'd been those claw marks on the bed-post, the shredded bed sheets and so on that she'd encountered during one of her swift clean-up sessions. It hadn't taken long for her to force them to tell her what in the hell was going on, as Naruto stuttered sheepishly with a hand on the back of his neck and Sasuke tried to maintain his cool demeanor. Her reaction had been much less explosive than expected – just the clatter of a fork onto her plate of baked potatoes and half-eaten steak. After which she'd recovered quickly and threatened to throttle them to death if either of them dared to hurt each other.
Of course, she hasn't found the need to do so just yet, because violence during sex isn't counted. Or when they're scrambling for their remote (because Naruto wants to watch the latest filler episode for Bleach and Sasuke doesn't), or even during one of their random brawls when kunai and Sharingan are used. Because she knows that these are the things that make them stay with each other – it's only if one breaks the heart of the other that she's going to step in, cracking her knuckles.
Most other people just think that they're good friends who are too young, too poor, and have no choice but to room with each other because no one else can tolerate their quirks.
Overall, they're still pretty much the same as before, just older and taller and less bent on killing each other (unless it counts who's going to be on top, because everyone knows that that's the most important thing ever). Sasuke is quiet, and more reserved than ever because the other shinobi have not been as receptive to his return as Team 7 – after all, his actions had caused quite a bit of unnecessary pain and misery. They'd put him under house arrest for almost two years until his twentieth birthday for screwing Konoha over because of his own selfish reasons, and that had definitely done nothing to improve his social skills. But when he's alone with Naruto, the both of them can bicker on non-stop about everything under the sun – from the best brand of ramen, to the most disgusting jutsu ever to be invented. Conversation never really halts when they're together, unless they're fucking or immersing in comfortable silence (which usually only happens after the fucking).
In a strange sort of way, they have a relatively good relationship. Fights don't matter, because they fight all the time anyway. There's probably something wrong if they're not arguing about something.
Naturally, they have met some problems along the way because they're so vastly different; we must remember that it wasn't too long ago that they were on opposite ends of a war. Quite a ridiculous reason to wage a war, now that they both think back about it. Sure helped build up a hell lot of sexual tension between the two, though. But yes, the point is that sometimes the fights do escalate beyond their usual proportions and both boys' eyes turn red – fiery-crimson for Naruto and blood-scarlet for Sasuke. After all, they are two of the most powerful and dangerous shinobi in the region, with crazy demons sealed within. It's no wonder that their apartment has a leaking roof and holes in walls – sooner or later, the landlady is going to kick them out.
Most of the time, these fights are about something really stupid, like Naruto accidentally using Sasuke's favorite shampoo that keeps his hair dark and smooth, or fighting over the last stick of sea salt ice-cream. All of the time, these tiffs are resolved when one of them pins the other onto the wall - they always end up gnawing on each other's lower lips and getting their long limbs are entangled as they tumble into one of the bedrooms (or the kitchen, when Naruto's feeling hungry at the same time). If you think about it, their kind of sex isn't all too different from their fights.
Occasionally, some of the other more friendly ninja come over as well.
Ino is one of them (unfortunately), along with the rest of her team. Chouji raids their freezer every time they visit, and leave them nothing but seaweed. This really infuriates Naruto, because he hates seaweed. Sasuke's fine with it, though. What he isn't very happy about, is Ino's blatant flirting – it's obvious that she absolutely feels nothing for him, and that she does it just to irk him or to make Shikamaru jealous. Even the dense Naruto can see this, so he doesn't get green-eyed. Instead, he grins that stupid grin of his and snickers at his partner cheerfully while swatting at Chouji's fat hand snaking towards the precious snack collection on the top shelf. As for the shadow-user? Well, most of the time he just sits in the only piece of furniture in the house that's still considered new because it was a present from Sakura and Kakashi-sensei, and watches the stuff on cable because his own apartment isn't wired up. (There's also the fact that Sasuke and Naruto don't abuse the couch for their sexual endeavors because it's too small for two full grown men to romp on.)
The door to their bedrooms are always, always locked when Ino-Shika-Chou come over. Because Ino's a blabbermouth, and if she ever finds out, they're never going to be able to live it down. Not that they're ashamed of their relationship, of course – they just want to avoid any unnecessary trouble.
Hinata usually comes with cookies that aren't very well-baked, but taste pretty good all the same. The two boys can't tell a bad cookie from a good one, anyway. She doesn't blush or stammer in Naruto's presence anymore, because she's long gotten over him. Something to do with becoming the head of the Hyuuga household, maybe. There's also that small detail that she'd recently gotten married to her cousin. It had come as a surprise to most, but apparently they'd been sneaking around together in the main house for quite a long time already. Sasuke thinks it's rather reminiscent of his relationship with the idiot because they're still in the sneaky-lurky stage and keeping everyone else in the dark just for the heck of it. Naruto just thinks it's weird, 'cos Neji's tried to kill Hinata after all, and they're so much like siblings it's scary. (He doesn't stop to realize that his relationship with Sasuke is equally weird – in any case, Sasuke's tried to kill Naruto before, and everyone says they're so close they're like brothers.)
Kiba's okay with Naruto, but he doesn't like Sasuke much. Still, he pops by once in a while with Akamaru and cleans out the fridge – what the hell is with these shinobi and eating their food, anyway?! Doesn't help that the dog likes to sniff around the discarded clothing on the ground; God knows what it tells its master later on. Naruto is pretty sure that Kiba knows, because the loud-mouthed brunet keeps trying to hook him up with "pretty ninja gals" and handing him condoms on the sly. It's obvious Kiba doesn't approve of Sasuke, and this pisses the blond off very much. So he just kicks boy-and-dog out a little harder than he should, and flushes the condoms and telephone numbers down the toilet.
Once, when Sasuke had gone out to get some lubricant (for one of their stuck drawers, get your mind out of the gutter), Sakura stretched her legs out on their coffee table and asked Naruto why he loved Sasuke.
He'd slurped up the last noodle in Sakura's bowl of home-made miso ramen, and sat at the dining area with a chopstick up his nose, as he looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. (Sakura had decided to question the blond first, because out of the two of them, she's a little more comfortable with the stupid one.)
After a few quiet moments, he'd set his utensils in the sink and turned around triumphantly with an answer. "It's just this and that! I like him for every little thing he does." A pause, then, "Except when he goes all frigid and refuses to have sex, though," he'd added as an afterthought, looking rather depressed. Sakura had thrown the remote at his head for Too Much Information (and hit him square on his nose – SCORE!) and stalked past the astonished Sasuke, who'd been standing at the door-way with a few bottles of lubricant in a plastic bag.
The next time, Naruto had taken off for an A-class mission, and Sasuke was moping around in the house because there was no one to fuck and the cold, hard realization that he wasn't a shinobi anymore had just dropped down onto him just as it always does when Naruto goes off for important missions that can very well grant him his Hokage dreams in the future. Sakura had figured it wasn't a bad time to catch up with the quiet Uchiha, because the last time they'd had a real heart-to-heart talk was when he'd been bleeding to death on a hospital bed as she pumped chakra into him and then punched him in the gut for making things so difficult for their team in the first place.
She'd shot him the same question, this time over a chocolate cake she'd learnt how to bake from Tenten.
Sasuke, always the fast thinker and the one with all the correct answers to the next exam, answered quickly. "It's the simple things that the idiot does. This and that – I can't really explain it. I don't think I've loved anyone the same way, before."
Not unlike before, Naruto had been standing outside without a scratch on him because of his amazing healing abilities, and bounded in with a scowl on his face (but not without a faint pink tinge on his whiskered cheeks) before gobbling up the rest of the chocolate cake because he didn't know what to say.
With a faint smile, Sakura had exited quietly without hurling remotes at anyone and locked the door behind her discreetly.
When Naruto and Sasuke fuck, the world doesn't suddenly stop revolving. When they kiss, they feel each other's tongues and heat and longing, but they don't see stars bursting behind their eyelids. They're not the sort that buys presents for the other on special occasions because neither remembers when the hell Valentine's Day is, but they do take turns to cook dinner and rotate who's going to be on top at night, because that's only fair. Sasuke loves tracing Naruto's whiskers when he's asleep and drooling on the bed-sheets that have to be washed again tomorrow; Naruto loves winding his fingers through Sasuke's jet black hair when they're both fighting to stay awake on the couch watching late night chick flicks. It's the simple things that keep them together, that keep them surviving.
Simply put, it's just this and that, really.
End Notes: Pointless one-shot, but it made me happy anyway. I should write more fluff in the future. Reviews for the first ever posted slash fic will be much, much appreciated and replied to.