Title: Regression

Title: Regression

Chapter: 24

Disclaimer: Penultimate and do not own. I lament that.

Summary: AU When Yuki's sessions with his psychiatrist increase, he hates it. Can a certain pink haired receptionist change his mind?

Shuichi preferred to think that the weather was so miserable because it was his mother's funeral, rather than it just being typical weather for winter. A nurse was carefully changing his bandages and pull on some funeral clothes; he couldn't say goodbye to his mother in that indecent hospital gown. He grit his teeth as the bandage around his ribs was unwound and the pressure that kept the pain at bay was lost. His chest was on fire.

"Bear with me, Shuichi," the nurse said kindly, starting to put the clean bandage back on. Shuichi nodded, trying to concentrate on something that would distract him. His ribs throbbed painfully once the bandages were back on.

"Lift up your arms so I can put your shirt on." The nurse pulled the crisp white shirt onto his arms and around his back. She guided his other arm into the whole of the arm of the shirt. "Can you manage the buttons?"

"Yes, thank you." Shuichi fumbled with each button until he pushed the smooth plastic through the slits. It took him longer than usual, but gaining some of his dexterity meant he was on the mend.

"I'll do your tie for you." A black tie was slipped under the collar of the shirt and done up at the front neatly. Shuichi didn't think he'd ever looked so smart before. He'd be wearing a black hat to hide his inappropriately cheerful pink hair.

Shuichi murmured his thanks again and looked out of the window. It was starting to rain and droplets of water were running down his windows as if the building was crying. Shuichi wished he could cry. He was so exhausted and his meds left him slightly out of it and even though his throat burned and his eyes watered, he could never let go and let the tears fall. Not like the other day.

He was helped to his feet by the nurse to pull on his trousers. It was painful to get up when he felt so sore. He hadn't gotten out of bed yet however humiliated he felt by the catheter. That had been removed not long ago. His legs felt like jelly through disuse and he held tightly to the bedside table as he lifted his right leg, and then his left.

He was embarrassed that he had to be dressed like a real invalid or a tiny child, but it was a small price to pay to attend his mother's funeral. He knew that some people, when there were shootings and such, couldn't attend the funerals of their best friends who had died around them. That was awful.

"Hey, you're standing," Hiro said softly from the doorway. Shuichi turned to him and smiled at his best friend. "And don't you look smart?"

"Don't," Shuichi mumbled, "I feel like an idiot already without you saying fatherly things to me." The nurse let out a small laugh.

"Be grateful that you're not going in the gown, Shuichi," she butted in, making Hiro and Shuichi laugh. That really would be embarrassing, with his backside exposed at a funeral. Not to mention disrespectful, of course.

"She makes a very good point, Shu," Hiro told him. He came into the room and perched on the edge of the bed. "Maiko's there already. With your aunt and uncle. Yoshiki called to say she would attend and Yuki-san spoke to me yesterday. He's coming."

"Are you mad at him?" Shuichi asked, looking directly at Hiro. He searched in his eyes for anger.

"Yuki-san? No. I'm glad that he found you." Maiko had encouraged Hiro to hear Yuki out when he approached him outside of Shuichi's room the day before. Shuichi smiled a small smile.

"I'm glad, too. About everything."

Hiro didn't tell anybody how much he had enjoyed wheeling Shuichi around in a wheelchair. Had the circumstances been different, he would have sat Shuichi in a chair by now and gone for a spin himself. However, it was not the time or the place and he was behaving very soberly. He'd given Shuichi one, mini wheelie that had made his friend laugh weakly.

The service took place in the cemetery. Shuichi's mother was being buried as she'd requested once, years and years ago. Shuichi had told Maiko that she said that being burnt reminded her of the holocaust and that she didn't want her funeral to be so gruesome. She'd still been capable of joking when she said it, but joke or not she'd never indicated whether she was really against cremation or not. So they were burying her.

Tears had trickled down Shuichi's face when he'd seen the casket but he hadn't made any noise, unlike Maiko. A priest had spoken about what a good person their mother had been. Hiro couldn't help asking himself why the priest was lying. He'd never seen Shuichi's mother do anything but sleep. He wasn't even sure he'd ever heard her say anything other than 'hello' or 'how are you?' to him.

At the lowering of the casket Eiri had come over to Shuichi's side and had allowed Shuichi told hold his hand tightly. He really had decided to be nicer to Shuichi. Family members and Hiro had all scattered earth over the coffin.

Now, at the reception, Eiri had taken over the wheelchair navigation and was taking care of Shuichi. He never lost his uncaring look but Hiro could tell that he was comforting Shuichi and looking after him. Hiro felt slightly left out.

"What time do you have to be back at the hospital, Shuichi?" He leaned over and asked, touching his friend's arm.

"They didn't give me a curfew, but I have to take my medication at eight and it makes me drowsy. So I'll go back at seven-thirty." Shuichi brought his hand up and placed it on top of Hiro's, still resting on his arm. He squeezed lightly and smiled at Hiro. There were tears in his eyes.

His other hand was holding Eiri's loosely.

"Is Maiko okay?" Eiri asked Hiro, surprising him with the sincerity of his voice. Shuichi turned and smiled at Eiri. They were acting like a real couple and Hiro was upset to find that he felt jealous of Eiri. Why had it taken Shuichi's mother's death and near death for Shuichi himself for Eiri to decide to be a good person? He'd always been there, hadn't he?

"She's with her aunt and uncle. She's fine," Hiro replied, pasting a smile onto his face and twisting his hand to hold Shuichi's hand too. He was being ridiculous. He just wanted his friend to himself. He glanced over to make sure that Maiko really was okay. She wash holding a glass of wine and was wiping under her eyes with a tissue, smiling and nodding at what a relative was saying to her, presumably about her mother.

She looked pretty today. In a spaghetti strap black dress and heels, she looked at though she belonged at a fancy dinner and not a funeral. Her honey-coloured hair was piled on top of her head loosely so that loose tendrils fell delicately about her face. She saw Hiro looking at her and sent him a small smile.

Shuichi smiled at them both, looking down at both of his hands. It was nice to have his best friend and lover fuss over him but something was making him feel sort of like a piece of meat being fought over between two dogs. Hiro's hand-squeeze felt slightly possessive; Eiri was tugging him closer.

Again Hiro found himself wondering what would happen in the future – induced by that same protectiveness he'd felt not long ago. What would happen if Shuichi left him to move in with Eiri? Would he be forgotten about, or would he and Shuichi always be best friends? It had always been Shuichi who had ended up with the worse luck and now he found himself stuck with a job he didn't like, single and (perhaps) alone whilst Shuichi got the best of everything. He was pleased for Shuichi, really he was, but he wanted things to get better for him too. Was that selfish?

"Hiro? Are you okay, love?" Shuichi asked softly, cutting into Hiro's thoughts. Hiro found his eyes flicking to Yuki at the term of endearment Shuichi used to address him to see his reaction. He was indifferent, looking the other way and sipping on his Scotch on the Rocks.

"I should be asking you the question," Hiro replied ruefully, tugging awkwardly at his hair. He freed Shuichi's hand from his grip to fiddle with the cuffs of his shirt embarrassedly. It didn't happen often but boy, did he get fidgety when he felt guilty about something.

"I think I want to get some fresh air. Take me outside, Hiro." Shuichi looked at him seriously, signaling that whatever he wanted was important. Hiro shrugged and stood, giving Yuki a quick glance to see if he was okay with what was going on. He simply released Shuichi's hand.

Hiro wheeled Shuichi through the room of people and outside, where it was raining lightly. Shuichi grimaced and commented on the horrible weather, to which Hiro responded with a light joke about his hair getting frizzy. They laughed lightly before Shuichi became serious again.

"I won't ever forget you, Hiro. If you decide to start a band and end up touring the world and forget about me, I won't forget you. Haven't I told you that I love you before?" Shuichi craned his neck to look searchingly at Hiro. "I wanted to do this long speech thing to make you happy but being stuck in a chair kind of ruins everything." Shuichi laughed again, wincing as his chest throbbed.

"I am happy. I'm happy that you and Yuki-san are together again and that you're safe. The only thing I'm sad about is that we kept your mum's deterioration from you. Maybe if we'd told you sooner you would have seen her… in better condition. I'm sorry that I kept it from you." Hiro looked out into the bleak grey of drizzle and cloud.

"It doesn't matter. I wouldn't have been able to do a thing for her. She barely knows me." Shuichi waved away Hiro's apology with his hand. "And, you forget how well I know you Hiroshi. It's not the only thing that's making you sad. You think I'm leaving you soon, don't you?"

"That's no reason for sadness," Hiro replied wittily, making Shuichi pout.

"Hey! Don't be mean. I get enough of that from Mister Novelist inside." He jerked his thumb towards the hall for emphasis. "Anyway. You're not getting rid of me so soon. I'm not going to let Yuki wheel me around all the time – he's much too busy and I don't even know if it'll work out. I know how badly you want a go in this thing, too, so as if I'm going to deprive you of that. I'll tell you now that it's not as fun as you think!"

Hiro let a contrite grin grace his lips. "You really do know me too well, Shu. What gave it away? Was I sending the chair longing looks?"

"Stop ruining my speech!" Shuichi protested loudly.

"Sorry! You should know that I can't handle the emotional stuff as well as you," Hiro argued. "You're the one who started spouting stuff about playing in you wheelchair."

"Well then," Shuichi huffed, crossing his arms stiffly across the bulky bandage around his chest, "don't complain if I ever do leave you by myself. I tried to do a lovely speech and you ruined it. This is how you'll remember me." Shuichi pouted again and frowned up at his best friend. "Bend over so I can give you a kiss; I'm afraid I can't do the more manly hugging thing for a while seeing as even the thought of lifting my arm hurts."

Hiro bent down obediently and Shuichi planted a huge kiss on his cheek, pressing his lips against the hard cheekbone.

"You won't join a band and forget about me, will you?"

"No. I don't really fancy the whole music scene."

They turned to each other with big childish grins on their faces, reminded of all the times they'd shared. Hiro realised that it wasn't the end if Shuichi wasn't around; it would be just another chapter of their friendship and they'd always be best friends no matter where they ended up. Smugly, the selfish part of Hiro's conscience told him that Yuki would never be able to compete with that.

Okay – I apologise if this chapter was shit, but I needed something Hiro-orientated. The next chapter (final one) will be Yuki-orientated, which is why this one had to be about Hiro. I promise you that the last chapter will be awesome. There will bee a lemon and it will be about 4000-5000 words as a finishing present to you lovely readers. Thank you to those who stuck by me and reviewed and favourited etc: without you I wouldn't have made it past chapter 14! Thank you so much.

Before I forget... this chapter is unbeta-d again so please ignore any typos or bad grammer. Thank you.